


The Origin of All Things

by Chocolatephysicist



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Attempted Murder, Attempted Rape, Established Relationship, F/M, Friendship, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort (emotional), M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-05-22
Updated: 2011-05-22
Packaged: 2017-10-19 16:44:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 128,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/202996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocolatephysicist/pseuds/Chocolatephysicist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something goes wrong during the evacuation of Atlantis, stranding members of the Atlantis expedition and SG1 on a very strange world.</p><p>(Spoilers: Through season two Atlantis and season nine SG1. Spoilers early season ten SG1.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Death of Atlantis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something goes wrong during the evacuation of Atlantis, stranding members of the Atlantis expedition and SG1 on a very strange world.

Dr. Elizabeth Weir stood braced against a control room console as Atlantis shuddered around her. The city suddenly seemed more alive now than at any time since she had come here, the steady thrum of its engines beating now deep within the heart of the massive city ship, pulsing through the soles of her shoes and the skin of the walls around her.

Colonel Steven Caldwell stood at her side, braced as well, as were the others manning consoles there in the control room. At least they had something to steady themselves against, unlike the mass of people and their possessions in the gateroom below her, spreading out into the hallways, awaiting evacuation through the stargate.

All but the most essential personnel had already been evacuated days before, and almost all the Athosians as well, the Athosians spreading themselves among the worlds of their former trading partners. Teyla was one of the few who had stayed behind. She had chosen instead to go to Earth with the people who had grown to be her family, as had Ronon, who stood now in the gateroom at her side, the two of them looking somehow undisturbed even as others panicked around them.

There was certainly reason for panic, as Elizabeth well knew, a massive Wraith fleet entering their solar system, almost a hundred hive ships with their accompanying escort of cruisers, more than they had estimated even to be in the Pegasus Galaxy, set upon them by the Wraith queen with whom they had attempted an alliance. The Wraith were determined to take Atlantis at last, to use the city's gate or the knowledge they could learn to make it to their new "feeding ground" of Earth. Atlantis had to be destroyed, utterly and completely, and the Daedalus as well. No part of either hyperdrive could survive to be reverse-engineered and used by the Wraith. No part of either database could remain intact to be mined for Earth's location.

The Daedalus sat moored now to Atlantis's east pier. Her personnel--those who had not already been evacuated to Earth--were among those in the gateroom. There were other faces there as well, faces that should not be here, but whose unfortunate timing had done nothing but place them in the path of the Wraith--Daniel Jackson, Teal'c, and Lieutenant Colonel Mitchell of SG1, along with Vala Mal Doran, who had been caught trying to steal a piece of Ancient technology on her first day in the city. They had come to Atlantis, along with Lieutenant Colonel Carter, in search of a weapon that could be used against the Ori, the great threat to the Milky Way Galaxy, only to find their mission interrupted by the discovery of the approaching Wraith. The SGC's chief surgeon, Dr. Carolyn Lam, had also accompanied them aboard the Daedalus to coordinate a medical project with Carson. They stood now among those awaiting evacuation in the gateroom. Elizabeth watched them, then allowed her eyes to move over the others waiting there, her people for more than the last two years, and the remaining crew members from the Daedalus--they would have nothing to brace against but one another when Atlantis tore herself from the ocean for the first time in several million years.

That is if Atlantis did not shake apart in the process to kill them all.

Rodney had said he would have to override the city's inertial dampeners, that there was no choice but to lessen the power drain on their sole ZPM and the naquedah generators--including the ones inbuilt in the Daedalus--that he, Radek Zelenka, and Sam Carter had managed to network together to provide barely enough power to launch the massive city ship and to fly her to her death in the heart of Atlantis's sun. There would be minimal life support and shields for the trip, with the bare power held in reserve to open a final wormhole to Earth once Atlantis's course was guaranteed. Rodney had warned them of the force of gravity they would be fighting during the launch, just as he had told them that they could not dial Earth any sooner than 39 minutes and 26 seconds before Atlantis was expected to enter the star's corona; only then would the pull of the star's gravity be enough to allow the engines to be cut back to provide the necessary power to connect a wormhole to Earth. They would then have 38 minutes to evacuate all their remaining people, 38 minutes after which the gate would shut down and the program Rodney had written would take over, shutting down life support to divert all power to the shields and engines for one last 7 second burst into the heart of the star to guarantee the utter destruction of both Atlantis and the Daedalus when the program dropped the shields at last.

A shudder ran through the great city now, then a massive jolt that wrenched a scream from someone in the gateroom below as Atlantis lifted herself from the waters that had been her home for millennia. The force they were having to expend to fight the planet's gravity was so intense that it sent even those braced against consoles in the control room from their feet, sending Elizabeth skidding on her back almost to the edge of the stairs before she caught herself against a railing.

Atlantis hovered for a moment, held aloft by forces Elizabeth could not even begin to comprehend, controlled by John Sheppard in the control chair, with Rodney, Radek, and Carter monitoring the power usage of the ZPM and the networked generators--then the city began to tilt, to list to one side, and for one horrifying moment Elizabeth was certain Atlantis would fall from the sky. Panic engulfed her as she tried to get to her feet, screams filling her ears from those in the gateroom as the tilt worsened and the city moaned as if in the midst of death throes--then the massive main engines fired, driving Elizabeth back to the floor with a force unlike anything she had ever felt or dreamed possible. She was pinned there, flat on her back, an enormous weight on her chest, her skin pulling back from her face, and she could hear shrieking now, both in her head and from the gateroom below.

The pressure lessened gradually, until Elizabeth could breathe again. She rolled over slowly and somehow managed to push herself to her knees, her eyes going immediately to check on those around her. Caldwell was getting to his feet, offering her a hand, her control room crew regaining their stations. Elizabeth moved to the railing and swept her eyes over those in the gateroom, assuring herself that, at least for the moment, they were all alive, though she knew that many probably felt as bruised as she.

She keyed her headset and spoke into the tiny attached microphone. "John, Rodney, is everyone okay down there?" she radioed to the chair room.

"We're a little busy right now," Rodney McKay bit out in return.

"We're having a rough ride up here--"

"We're all having a rough ride--McKay out," Rodney snapped and cut her off.

Elizabeth moved to try to steady herself against a console again as the city set up a constant vibration so pronounced it made her teeth chatter and her knees ache as she attempted to remain upright. There were a few minor injuries below her, she could see that now. People were being tended by Carson and Dr. Lam, the only two medical personnel who remained on Atlantis. The vibration increased, so badly that Elizabeth saw the slender, dark-haired Lam having to cling to her patient now to stay in place well enough to treat him--but the vibration only worsened, until Elizabeth thought it would shake the teeth from her head if it did not cease. The structure of the city was coming under enormous stress. Tiles had fallen, and equipment had toppled or failed, but still the control chair and the engines functioned, as did life support, which was all they needed.

The stargate's shield suddenly activated, as Elizabeth knew it would to prevent any outwash of the forming wormhole into the mass of people below. The gate began to dial as Rodney's voice came over the headset in her ear. "We're on automatic now!" he shouted, sounding as if he were running.

"Get up here!" Elizabeth ordered, watching the first chevron lock.

"On our way," Sheppard shouted, obviously running as well. "Start getting people through the minute the SGC opens their iris."

The wormhole formed behind the shield, washing the people in the gateroom below in watery- looking light. Elizabeth input her own IDC, then waited what seemed a lifetime until the voice of the SGC's Sergeant Harriman confirmed over subspace link that the Earth's iris was open. Elizabeth took a breath to order that the gate shield be dropped on their end to begin the evacuation--but an alarm began to blare in the control room before she could speak. A technician was shouting.

"Solar flare! Massive solar flare!"

The wormhole behind the shield turned bright white, hurting her eyes. Rodney was suddenly there, shoving the technician aside without a word, shouting to another, "Keep the shield up or we'll fry!"

"Rodney, we have less than 38 minutes!" Elizabeth shouted at him over the sound of what was now a chorus of alarms. She was beginning to sweat. It was growing hot in the control room, getting hotter by the minute.

"I know that!" He was typing furiously, looking from the computer screen to the now putrescent green wormhole, then back again, starting sentences that Elizabeth could not even comprehend, only to have them picked up by Radek, who was now working at another console. Sheppard was at Rodney's side. Carter was nearby, and she opened her mouth to speak, only to have Rodney silence her with a single motion of his hand before he returned to his work as if she were not even there. They were losing too much time--twenty-eight minutes until the wormhole would shut down--twenty-four minutes--seventeen--

The wormhole washed from putrescent green to green-blue then the blue of its normal state. Only then did Rodney drop the shield. "Eight minutes!" he shouted, panic on his face now that the minutes of furious work were over. "Go! Get those people through the gate! Go!" he stared at Elizabeth, as if she did not understand.

"Eight minutes, everyone! We have only eight minutes!" she yelled to those in the gateroom below, meeting Lorne's eyes where she had stationed him and his team before the stargate to lead the evacuation. "Go!"

And they started through, staggering on their feet as Atlantis gave a mighty lurch that would have sent Elizabeth to the floor again had not Caldwell steadied her--then Lorne's voice was shouting over the radio.

"Stop! This isn't Earth! We have injured! They're coming through the gate like a bat out of hell! Stop the evac!"

Caldwell yelled orders down into the gateroom to stop the evacuation.

Rodney was already speaking. "The flare. It caused a massive power surge. The wormhole must have jumped to another gate." His eyes were wide with fear.

"Can we redial?" she asked.

"No. We don't have the time or the power. We've got to go. Now."

"Get moving!" Elizabeth shouted to those waiting to go through the gate. "Prepare for a rough landing on the other side!"

Caldwell was already yelling orders to Lorne over his headset. "We're sending them through, Major. There's no choice. Keep the area before the gate clear on your side. Secure a perimeter."

They were running down the staircase and into the gateroom as person after person went through the stargate lugging whatever possessions they could carry. Elizabeth had snatched up her laptop case and bags. She saw Rodney stop just shy of the gate, loaded down now with his own possessions, only for John Sheppard to grab him by the arm and drag him through at his side. It seemed to take forever to get everyone through, to clear the gateroom and the hallways, and Elizabeth feared they would never all make it through in time, even before the alarm began to sound that Rodney had told her to expect one minute before the gate would shut down. Atlantis was groaning, the beautiful city in the last moments of her life. Elizabeth looked around as the gateroom emptied, looked her fill, knowing it would have to last.

"Everyone else is gone! We've got to go!" Caldwell shouted to her, taking her arm.

Elizabeth nodded, took one last look around, then stepped through the wormhole at Caldwell's side, leaving Atlantis behind, alone, for the city to face her final moments.


	2. Not So Brave New World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rough trip through the stargate leaves the Atlantis crew and SG1 battered and bruised.

Elizabeth hit the ground at the far side so hard all the air left her lungs in a rush. For a moment she couldn't inhale, and when she did at last she felt as if her side was on fire. She had a broken rib, maybe two, and had more bruises and abrasions than she could count.

She lay there, staring up at a sky with two visible moons even here in the daytime, and at the tall spires of a city rising around her, surrounding the open, grassy, tree-shaded area before the stargate, at towers and buildings with walls constructed of some dark green material shot through with gold that she could see through the trees, and glittering windows that looked like stained glass. Ancient architecture--and old, very old. Older, even, than Atlantis. She didn't know what made her think this, for what she could see seemed in perfect condition, but all her mind could think in that minute was old, very, very old, older than life itself.

She tried to move, hearing sounds of pain from those laying around her, the last who had come through the wormhole and who were now on the ground before the stargate--Lorne had said they were coming through the gate like a bat out of hell. Elizabeth was pretty sure now that had been an understatement. She didn't think she had ever hurt so much in all her life.

She tried to push herself to a seated position using one arm, but Caldwell was there, pressing her back, and Elizabeth found herself unable to bite back the moan of pain at the stab of agony that went through her side as she tried to resist his hands.

"Be still," he said, and Elizabeth obeyed, noting a gash along his left cheekbone that was bleeding freely.

"You're hurt," she said--or tried to say. She wasn't certain whether she actually got the words out.

He was checking her over for broken bones, his big hands moving over her arms and legs, over her sides--her sharp intake of breath apparently told him what he needed to know.

"Broken rib," he stated flatly. He then moved on to check her head and look closely into her eyes, her cheeks cradled between his warm hands, presumably to check for signs of concussion.

"You're a doctor now?" she managed to gasp out.

"I can play the part of a field medic if I have to," he said. "I'll strap your ribs for you--Dr. Beckett and Dr. Lam are busy at the moment," he explained before she could raise any objection.

"Did we lose anyone?"

"Not that I can tell. We've got some serious injuries--be still!" he ordered when she again tried to move. "You'll be no good to anyone if you puncture a lung with that rib."

She obeyed, cooperating as best she could when he sat her up and began to strap her so tightly she could barely breathe. It hurt like hell--but at least the pain lessened somewhat once she was strapped tight and in a seated position facing this world's stargate with her back against the DHD.

She had already taken in the events around her through the wash of pain, even before he moved off to help the others--they had many injured. Lam seemed to be running a triage to assess the wounded, while Carson was bent over an unmoving Radek Zelenka. Rodney was obviously injured, favoring one arm, his face white as a sheet and twisted with pain, but both John Sheppard and Daniel Jackson were trying to help him, though Rodney didn't look pleased at what they wanted to do.

"It's dislocated, Dr. McKay," Daniel said, holding both hands before him as he took a step closer to Rodney.

"I know that!" Rodney snapped, taking a step away, snarky even under present circumstances. His eyes moved from Daniel to John. "But you aren't going to touch it. I'll wait for Carson."

"I know how to do this. I know it hurts like hell right now; getting it back into place will help."

"He's right, Rodney," John said, his voice obviously meant to be soothing. Elizabeth could see that Rodney was in a great deal of pain. His voice was higher than usual, full of stress, his face beaded over with what she would have bet was a cold, sick sweat. He looked ready to pass out-- something Elizabeth had certainly seen him do in the past.

She opened her mouth with the intention of at least attempting to tell him that he should allow the other two men to help him, but she never got a chance to say a word. Daniel met John's eyes and gave a slight nod, which John almost imperceptibly returned, then John moved to take Rodney's good arm and draw him quickly to him, Sheppard wincing in obvious sympathy with the painful cry Rodney gave as the injured shoulder was jostled. Sheppard wrapped his arms tight around Rodney in a bearhug with his chest to Rodney's back, trapping Rodney's good arm beneath his own crossed arms, then his eyes moved to Daniel. Daniel moved up to take hold of Rodney's injured arm to deliberately move it in a certain way, then again, and at last Rodney shrieked as it apparently went back into place.

Rodney's legs buckled and Sheppard went with him, until they were both sitting on the ground with Rodney between Sheppard's spread knees. Sheppard still held to him, now deliberately supporting the injured arm with one hand to keep the shoulder from moving as Daniel reached to yank Rodney's belt out of his pants, and then Sheppard's, Daniel saying his own had already gone to Dr. Lam to make a tourniquet. Elizabeth watched as Daniel quickly fashioned a make-do sling for Rodney's arm using the two belts, which he and Sheppard managed to get on Rodney.

At last John moved out from behind him and helped him to his feet as Daniel moved away to assist others.

"Better?" Sheppard asked, gently patting Rodney on his good shoulder.

"Yes," Rodney said. Then his voice dropped to something less than a whisper, so much so that Elizabeth would never have understood his words had she not learned how to lipread years before. "And if you ever try anything like that in the future, you'll never have sex with me again."

Sheppard never took his eyes from Rodney. "Oh, yes, I would," he said with a crooked little half smile, his words audible even at that distance.

Rodney stared at him a moment. "Oh, yes, you would," he echoed.

Sheppard's smile widened as he reached out to rest a hand on Rodney's good shoulder--so that's how it was. Elizabeth had wondered for months now, and all she had to do was be thrown through a stargate to some unknown world and break a rib, not to mention destroy Atlantis, in order to find out for certain that two of the people she was closest to were lovers.

Well, good for them. Being alone really sucked in any galaxy.

Rodney was moving slowly toward where Carson was still working over Radek. "How is he?" Rodney asked. He was walking as if his shoulder clearly was not his only injury. Sheppard had bent to check on one of the airmen, who had an ugly bruise darkening his forehead, but the man waved him away, saying he was fine.

Carson drew in a deep breath and sat back on his heels. "He has a concussion. I won't know anything else until he regains consciousness." He brought his eyes to Elizabeth where she was propped against the DHD. "We need help, Elizabeth. We have injured, several seriously. No one's come to see who we are, and, even if they did, we don't know if they would be friendly or not. We need medical facilities, now. The Alpha Site has a sterile surgery, clean water, medical supplies--"

Elizabeth looked up at Sheppard. "Dial it," she said.

He rounded the DHD and began to punch in the gate address. She could hear the build-up of energy--but nothing happened.

"What did you do?" Rodney asked, leaving her line of vision as he went to join Sheppard.

She could hear Rodney begin to press chevrons on the DHD, and the buildup of energy again, which went away once more.

"Oh, no," words spoken very softly--not a good sign with Dr. Rodney McKay.

"What is it?" John asked, but Rodney did not answer. He walked back past Elizabeth, making his way toward the gate, Sheppard pacing him all the way.

Sam Carter had been assisting with one of Lam's patients, but she stood now and made her way toward the DHD. "If we just remove the control crystal--" she began, speaking loud enough so that Rodney, now examining the gigantic ring up close, would hear her.

"It won't work," he said.

"Just let me--"

"It won't work." He sounded as scared as Elizabeth had ever heard him through these years.

"Just give me a minute to--"

Rodney turned back to stare at her, wincing as he reached across to clutch the sling after he moved the arm involuntarily. "This is one problem that neither one of us is going to fix--the gate is fused. It can't turn. It can't dial out. It will never dial again." Then his eyes dropped to Elizabeth. "We're stuck here. We're not going anywhere."


	3. Pissy Physicists and Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John takes care of his favorite geek, and they all make a strange discovery

"How are you doing, Rodney?" Sheppard asked a short time later, probably the most inane question ever conceived to ask anyone in these kinds of circumstances.

"How do you think I'm doing, Colonel?" Rodney demanded in return. "My shoulder hurts like hell. I'm stuck on some unknown planet at the ass-end of nowhere, where there are probably hostile aliens lurking around every corner. The gate is fused, and neither I nor anyone else is ever going to be able to make it work again. We don't have any painkillers to spare for a dislocated shoulder because we have far worse and more painful things that I'm sure are going to happen to us in the future, and there isn't one square inch of my body that is not part of one massive bruise--and, just to top it all off, my blood sugar is dropping--"

A foil-wrapped candybar fell into his lap. Rodney stared down at it, then looked back up at Sheppard, finding a cocky little half-smile on his lips. Leave it to Sheppard to know exactly what Rodney needed even before Rodney knew it.

"You'd better keep it," Rodney said, even as he turned his eyes back down to it with longing. "It will probably be your last."

"I have others."

He looked back up at Sheppard with what he knew was poorly concealed chocolate lust. "I'll split it with you, then," he offered--maybe that would encourage Sheppard to share again.

John dropped easily into a cross-legged position at Rodney's side and accepted his part of the bar of chocolate after Rodney opened it and broke it in half.

Rodney bit into his own half, savoring the taste. At least it provided a momentary distraction from the idiotic argument going on in hushed voices no more than a few feet away. Weir and Caldwell were both trying to stake their claim as to who was in charge here with Atlantis and the Daedalus both destroyed, although the argument was taking place in terms of what they should do now: either scout for indigenous peoples to extend the hand of friendship (Weir's alternative), or meet the natives with guns drawn to make certain they got in the first shot (Caldwell's idea). The two leaders had not quite devolved to the, "I'm in charge!" "No, I'm in charge!" yelling match Rodney could see coming, although he thought it would not be that long before it reached that stage.

"We'll be okay," Sheppard said from beside him, gently nudging Rodney's good arm with his elbow.

"I'll remind you of that when the cannibalistic natives decide to stick you in their stewpot."

Sheppard only smiled in return and shook his head as if Rodney had said just exactly what he had expected--Rodney did appreciate the effort to make him feel better, although the attempt was completely lost when it came up against his pessimistic side, which was out in full force under the present circumstances. It did matter, though, that Sheppard had tried, that it had occurred to him to think of how Rodney must be feeling, and to try to do something about it. Rodney still couldn't accustom himself to that kind of consideration, even after the months that he and Sheppard had been together as more than friends. They'd been lovers--a term Rodney still had trouble getting his ample intellect wrapped around--for a little over six months now, six months that had become both the happiest and most frightening of Rodney's life. They shared a bed whenever they could manage it on Atlantis, a fact that had taken Rodney some getting used to after the years of sleeping alone. Sheppard was all arms and legs and he liked to sprawl after sex, which meant Rodney often got slept half on top of in the narrow beds they shared--but it wasn't long before Rodney realized that he had trouble sleeping on the nights when John was not there.

John nudged Rodney's hand and gave him another square of chocolate. It was the third time he had done that, which made Rodney suddenly realize he had eaten his half of the chocolate bar and that Sheppard was now feeding him his half as well.

"Hey!" Rodney said, irritated. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have thought twice about eating the entire thing, but these were not ordinary circumstances.

Sheppard only smiled in return. "Feeling better now?' he asked.

"Yes!" Rodney snapped.

"Good." Sheppard rose gracefully to his feet, unfolding himself upward with an ease that Rodney always found himself envying. "Come on, we need to get this done before the two of them quit arguing," he said, indicating Elizabeth and Caldwell with a tilt of his chin, though not explaining further as he reached down to take Rodney by his good arm and draw him to his feet, managing to inadvertently jostle Rodney's bad shoulder in the process and receiving the first few syllables of a good tongue lashing before his reaching toward the front of Rodney's pants stopped Rodney mid-utterance. It was only the buckle of Rodney's gunbelt he was reaching for, which Rodney should have known, but it was enough to get his mind off his shoulder for at least a second.

Sheppard unbuckled it, then reached down to quickly release the holster strap from where it was fastened at the inside of Rodney's thigh. He pulled it out from around Rodney, then futzed with it for almost a full thirty seconds before Rodney realized he was shifting the holster to the left- handeded side, which would put it on the side away from Rodney's injured right shoulder.

Sheppard looked at him from beneath those dark lashes and smiled. "Just in case you have to rescue me from that stewpot," he said, then stepped closer to loop it back around Rodney's waist and buckle it in place. He then squatted so that he could secure the thigh strap.

He should never have looked up at Rodney then, kneeling before him like that, because he ought to know damned well that it would do nothing but remind Rodney of the last time he had seen him in that position. Sheppard's wink and quickly hidden dirty little smirk let Rodney know that he had known just exactly what had passed through Rodney's mind. Leave it to John Sheppard to get him aroused while they were stranded her on some godforsaken planet with both the Atlantis and Daedalus crews crowded all around them. How in the hell Sheppard had not given them away long ago was beyond Rodney, for the man was always taking chances with their secret.

Rodney jerked his gaze from Sheppard's face before he could really get to thinking about all the things that talented and annoying mouth could do. His eyes settled on Elizabeth and Caldwell instead, and on Daniel Jackson, who had managed to insert himself between them. Daniel had apparently gotten them to settle on some middle ground, for Elizabeth and Caldwell were cooperatively forming teams now from the uninjured members of their party, assigning several to continue to secure the perimeter and guard the injured here before the stargate, while the remaining teams would try to make contact with the inhabitants of the city.

Sheppard, Teyla, and Ronon, of course, were assigned to go marching out into unknown territory. Rodney wanted to object when he realized he would have no choice but to stay behind here because of his injury. He felt like death warmed over, but where his team--and in particular John Sheppard--went on this godforsaken planet, Rodney McKay really felt that he should go with them.

Sheppard apparently saw the look on his face.

"We'll be okay without you this one time, Rodney," he told him quietly as he checked the safety on his P90.

Rodney only stared at him.

"Besides, this will give you time to think of a way to fix the stargate."

"I can't fix it. Don't you understand the word ‘can't'?" Rodney demanded.

"Not where you're concerned."

Rodney showed him a sour expression. .

"Well, if you can't fix this one, build another one," Sheppard said with a shrug, just as if he were not suggesting the impossible.

"Build another--" Rodney began, then it occurred to him--what if he could? It might take years, but with his understanding of wormhole physics— "Um--" he said, noncommittally. What if he really could do it? He turned his eyes to the huge city surrounding them. It was obviously of Ancient design. There might be Ancients here--not some hot chick who would try to seduce Sheppard again, for he never wanted to see another one of those--but a scientist with some knowledge of the gate system.

Sheppard gave him a wink, as if getting Rodney thinking about this had been his intention all along, which was thoroughly annoying when Rodney considered that as a real possibility. Sheppard gave Rodney's good shoulder a little squeeze then left him there to go join Teyla and Ronon. Rodney watched him walk away, really wishing he was going with them. He felt like hell, but he would feel better if he was where he could keep an eye on Sheppard. The man had a habit of getting into trouble, and--

Major Lorne's voice cut through his train of thought. "Dr. Weir, I think you need to see this--"

Rodney followed the direction of Lorne's voice to find him staring at the face of a curved, shoulder-high section of black stone wall that stood at a slight distance from the stargate.

"What is it, Major?" Elizabeth asked, beginning her way slowly in that direction with Caldwell following along beside her.

"It's--it's a passage from the Bible, I think," Lorne said, never taking his eyes from the wall's surface.

"From the Bible? That's impossible," Caldwell said.

Lorne turned his eyes toward the two of them. "What's impossible is that it's in English."


	4. Concerning Adam and Eve and Lilith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Further strange discoveries on this new world

"English," Elizabeth said for the third time now as she stared at the wall. They were all staring at it, every member of their band of refugees except for the non-ambulatory injured and the unconscious. Even the military personnel Caldwell had assigned to guard the perimeter had to be ordered back to their posts.

"1st Corinthians, chapter 13," John said from beside Rodney, "Revised Standard Edition, word for word if I'm not mistaken."

Rodney turned to stare at him, surprised. John had never struck him as a particularly religious individual.

Sheppard shrugged. "Southern Baptist boy," he said by way of explanation.

Rodney turned his eyes back to the wall as SG1's Colonel Mitchell maneuvered his way through the crowd, the Bible he had gone to retrieve from his pack now in his hand. Mitchell thumbed through the book for a moment, then stared down at it, then back up at the wall, and down to the Bible again. A moment later he began to read aloud from the page before him as Rodney read silently from the wall.

" _If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal._

" _And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing._

" _If I give away all I have, and deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I am nothing._

" _Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right._

" _Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things._

" _Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away._

" _For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away._

" _When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways._

" _For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood._

" _So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love._ "

There was a split second of silence as Mitchell finished. Daniel Jackson had been examining the remainder of the wall, and the other writing there in sections of text laid out in columns, one segment above another, one column after another. This was the only segment in English that Rodney could see, but he recognized Spanish just below it, Russian in another column, Czech, modern Latin, Ancient, and those were only at a glance.

"It's the same text, over and over again," Daniel said. "Spanish, Portugese, French, Italian, Russian, Czechoslovakian, Latin, Greek, Japanese, Mandarin Chinese--more." He was continuing to look from one segment to another, fingers moving over the engraved letters as if reading them by sheer touch alone. "Languages from modern Earth," he continued, a look of absolute awe on his face, "and more--Ancient, Asgard, Furling, a modern dialect of Goa'uld, so many others, some I've never seen before, the same text over and over again--my God, it's like a Rosetta Stone."

"But what is it doing here?" Caldwell demanded.

"God put it here," someone said from behind Rodney. "We've been chosen."

"Oh, grow up," Rodney said, glancing around and managing to jostle his injured shoulder in the process. He grimaced.

Daniel didn't seem to hear any of them. He reached up to run his hand along the top surface of the wall somewhere near the center point. Why he did that, Rodney never knew, but he must have triggered something, for Rodney heard a soft sound as something appeared in the air above them, an opaque black dome, hovering in midair, and below it the three-dimensional representation of what Rodney knew at once to be elements of the periodic table.

"The universal language," Daniel said, staring up, the holographic representation reflecting on his glasses, lighting the absolute wonder on his face, a wonder Rodney knew had to be matched on his own.

"Like the Heliopolis you found on Earnest Littlefield's planet," Rodney said, not taking his eyes off the graphical representation floating over their heads. "I read the reports, the universal language made up of the basic building blocks of life--is it the same text as the wall?"

"What I can make out of it; it seems so," Daniel answered.

"A passage from the New Testament," someone said from the midst of the crowd. "Where the hell are we?"

"Maybe we're dead," someone added.

"I don't think we're dead," Rodney said. He looked over at John. "I don't feel dead--not that I'd know how dead--"

"You're not dead, Rodney," John assured him.

"Are you sure? I mean, we don't really know how being--"

"You're alive, Rodney," John assured him again.

Rodney stared at him a moment, then he reached across with his left hand to pinch his right forearm where it was secured in the sling--ow!--well, if he wasn't dead, he wasn't dreaming either.

Daniel was moving off toward another section of black, curved wall that stood at a distance from this one. Caldwell watched him go for a minute, then he seemed to sense the unease that was starting to move through the people standing there. He turned to sweep his eyes over everyone.

"You have your orders," he said loudly, bringing every single one of them under at least some semblance of control. "Move out!"

Rodney turned back to meet Sheppard's eyes. John gave him one of those smiles that always went right through him.

"Don't you dare get yourself killed," Rodney threatened.

"I'll try my best not to," Sheppard said, adding a waggle of the eyebrows to the effect of the smile.

Rodney could not make himself sit down the entire time his team was gone, no matter how badly his body hurt. He paced, holding to his right arm with his left to keep from jostling it, keeping his gaze fixed in the direction John, Teyla, and Ronon had disappeared into the city. He kept his headset on to monitor the transmissions of all the teams--there was no sign of any indigenous people. The buildings were structurally intact, constructed of some dark green stone veined with gold. Doors slid open at the approach of any person bearing the Ancient gene, lights came on when they entered the rooms, equipment hummed to life when touched by those same people, just as it had happened when they arrived on Atlantis. Teams were finding huge research labs, and what appeared, upon a cursive look at least, to be a library that covered uncountable square miles at the heart of the city, stretching both far into the sky and for stories deep beneath the ground.

There were what appeared to be museums, art galleries where they were surprised to find works from Earth amidst alien paintings, deserted residential buildings, and three planetariums. There were storage facilities containing all manner of things, from huge bolts of cloth to wheeled carts to machinery of every imaginable shape and variety. There were two bays of flying ships including jumpers like those they had left on Atlantis, as well as what was undeniably a huge performance hall complete with a grand piano.

It became immediately apparent that the city was laid out in quadrants. The quadrants were then broken into alternating segments, interspersing massive garden or park areas with segments of the city's buildings. Passageways lead down underground, though both Elizabeth and Caldwell refused to allow their exploration.

The two leaders called back the survey teams when they noted the planet's sun lowering in the sky. They had no way of knowing how long, or how cold, the nights would be here, and wanted their people under cover before dark. One of the teams had found what they believed would be suitable shelter, a medical facility reminiscent to the one they had on Atlantis that was attached to a massive lecture hall filled with rows of thickly padded stone benches each large enough to serve as a sleeping platform.

The survey teams converged back at the stargate to assist in moving the injured to shelter. Sheppard's team was the last to return, of course, by which time Rodney was a near basketcase with worry over them--and they returned only to want to go back out again to collect fruit Teyla had recognized in one of the park areas. Rodney had time to only catch Sheppard's gaze for a moment to assure himself that John was unhurt before they were going back out again to get one of the wheeled carts they had found during their survey so they could fill it with enough fruit to feed them all for the evening. They certainly didn't have enough MREs to go around; they'd thought they were bound for Earth, after all.

Rodney accompanied the others to the buildings they had chosen for shelter, following a makeshift stretcher bearing Radek to the infirmary Carson and Dr. Lam would be setting up in the smaller of the two buildings. Carson moved to check Radek as they placed him on one of the exam tables there. Radek had been unconscious now for hours, which Rodney did not think could be a good sign by any stretch of the imagination. Radek was the best friend Rodney had ever had in his life, after John, and Rodney certainly did not want to lose either one of them.

Sheppard found him there later.

"How is he?" John asked, resting one hand on Rodney's good shoulder where Rodney sat on a peculiarly shaped and extraordinarily uncomfortable stool he had pulled up alongside Radek's bed.

Rodney looked up at him, glad to have him here at last where at least he knew he was safe. "Carson still won't know anything until he regains consciousness."

Sheppard gave his shoulder a comforting little squeeze. "Come on, Rodney. You need to eat something and get some rest. I have some guaranteed non-citrus fruit picked specially for you." He reached down to take up Rodney's pack and the two other bags that Rodney had managed to carry here one-handed.

Rodney sighed and got to his feet, grimacing at the ache in his tailbone from the hard stool on which he had been sitting. He walked with John out of the infirmary and down a wide hallway to the side entry of the lecture hall where the others had set up camp. People were moving about the large room, some eating fruit of varying colors, others already bedded down on the thickly padded benches as if trying to get to sleep.

Rodney followed John down between two rows of benches to where Teyla and Ronon were sitting side-by-side on one of the thickly padded surfaces in a less-crowded corner of the large room. A pile of fruit was stacked on the bench between them. Rodney seated himself opposite his two teammates and Sheppard sat down beside him, close enough that the outside of John's thigh rested against Rodney's, which was decidedly nice in Rodney's opinion. Ronon picked up a yellow fruit and tossed it to Rodney, who gave it a sniff, then experimentally bit into it. He was surprised to find it was pretty good.

"Still no sign of any of the natives?" Rodney asked.

Teyla shook her head. "We have seen no one."

"It doesn't make sense," Ronon said, then bit into something green and hairy-looking that he had taken up from the pile to hold in both hands.

Rodney stopped eating mid-swallow and almost choked on the food in his mouth until he realized the green and hairy-looking thing was some kind of weird fruit. Fruit or not, it looked like it had three legs and a head. That would be one thing that would certainly not be on his diet here.

"The city appears to be unused," Teyla said.

"Abandoned, like Atlantis?" Rodney asked.

"No," John said from beside him after reaching across to choose a piece of fruit. "Completely unused."

Rodney stared over at him for a moment.

"There were clear signs on Atlantis that the city had been inhabited. There's none of that here. Everything we've seen looked as if it has never been used at all, the buildings, the furniture and equipment, everything."

"That doesn't make sense," Rodney said, not realizing he had virtually echoed Ronon's words until Ronon caught his eye. Rodney frowned, irritated. "No one builds and maintains a city to never use it."

"What makes even less sense are all the anachronisms," John said.

Rodney turned his head to stare over at him--even after knowing the man for over two years now, Rodney was still startled every time John said something that showed the extent of his actual vocabulary, or the level of his true intelligence.

"Anachronisms?" Teyla asked. It wasn't a word that translated into Athosian.

"The paintings and other art from Earth--Rembrandt, Picasso, di Vinci, Michelangelo--the grand piano, the Biblical quotation carved into that wall in English and other Earth languages," John explained.

Rodney had been turning a possibility over in his mind. "Do you think it could be a simulation?" he asked, looking over at John again.

John's dark eyebrows rose.

"We've been stuck in one before, that time we thought we had returned to Earth. It took a while for any of us to see through it--" then he remembered "--well, any of us but you. You were manipulating your part of it."

"I'm not manipulating anything now."

"Are you sure?" Rodney stared at him.

"Would I be dreaming up un-lived-in buildings and old paintings?" John demanded.

"Well--no." Last time it had been a hot bachelor pad and dead friends.

"Maybe it's you," John suggested.

"Me? A Biblical quote?" Rodney gave him a sour look. "Religion and science don't mix, Sheppard."

" _‘Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things...'_ "Sheppard quoted from memory, giving him a knowing smirk.

Okay, so Rodney was in love with him, and the supercilious son of a bitch knew it. Rodney gave Sheppard a withering look.

"That was always my favorite passage from the Bible," John said after a moment, almost off- handedly.

"You are manipulating things!" Rodney accused. "That's why the grand piano is here!" Sheppard had been threatening to have one delivered to Atlantis aboard the Daedalus if he had to in order to hear Rodney play.

"I'm not manipulating anything! Would I let you get hurt?"

Well, no, he wouldn't. "You may not be the only one manipulating things." Rodney frowned.

"There's not even anything to tell us this is a simulation, Rodney," John said.

"Perhaps it is someone who collects things from your world," Teyla put in, bringing their eyes to her, "or things from many worlds. Perhaps the city was not meant to be lived in."

Rodney considered that for a moment. "You mean, it could be one huge museum?"

"That makes as much sense as anything," John said. Then he looked over at Ronon, "Toss me another one of those yellowfruits," making the last two words into one.

Ronon picked one up and tossed one over to him.

"‘Yellowfruits,'" Rodney repeated. "Are you naming things here already?"

John shrugged. "Why not?"

"What are you--Adam? Having to name all the plants and animals and ships and puddlejumpers everywhere we go?" Rodney demanded, remembering the story from when he had read the Bible at the age of eight.

His entire body hurt like hell and he was in no mood for another instance of Sheppard's name- everything fetish.

"If I'm Adam, what does that make you--Eve?" John asked with a grin.

Ronon and Teyla were exchanging looks that said they clearly did not understand the reference.

Rodney quickly looked around to make certain no one else had overheard the comment, wincing as he joggled his bad shoulder in the process. Simulation or not, stranded here or not, Caldwell could very well take it into his head to court martial John if he learned that he and Rodney were lovers.

"Are you out of your mind?" he demanded, turning at last to look at John again. John was forever taking chances on letting their secret out.

"Adam and Eve are mated like you?" Ronon asked. He and Teyla knew about the two of them; that was the one thing John had insisted upon immediately after they had become involved. The two of them knew, and Radek and Carson, but no one else; Rodney had seen to that for John's sake.

John grinned. "Adam was the first man according to Genesis in the Christian Bible. Eve was his wife, so it follows that if I'm Adam, Rodney has to be Eve."

Rodney couldn't help himself. He snapped out, "Maybe I'm Lilith, since I prefer to be on top at least half of the time," although he managed to say it very quietly.

There was a split-second's silence, then Ronon roared with laughter, which brought every eye in the room right to where the four of them were sitting.

Rodney wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole right now.

When Ronon's laughter died away to continuous chuckling, Teyla ventured to ask, "Lilith?" She looked from Rodney, to John, to Ronon. She was smiling now as well.

"Rodney read virtually every religious text he could get his hands on by the age of eighteen, even though he doesn't believe there is a God," John said.

"That's why I don't believe there's a God, one of the reasons--and I read them all by the time I was thirteen, before I had anything better to do," Rodney snapped out, virtually in one breath.

"And this Lilith?" Teyla asked again.

"Adam's first wife," Rodney said. "She and Adam didn't get along because she thought she was his equal--"

"--characterized by the fact that she didn't want to lay beneath him for sex," John put in, interrupting Rodney to do so. "That's why Rodney--"

"They get it, Sheppard. They get it," Rodney said, even though he knew John would never let it go if he could tease him a bit longer.

"--because we take turns--"

"Just kill me now," Rodney moaned, not believing how his day was going.


	5. Kav and Carter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kavanagh disagrees with Sam Carter. Rodney gets involved

John shut up at last without saying anything more. At least he had not spelled out what it was the two of them took turns at doing, although he knew Ronon, at least, would have a good idea. Same sex relationships were common among the military on Ronon's homeworld of Sateda. They had believed it guaranteed a more effective fighting force, just as with the Theban Band on ancient Earth.

John nudged Rodney's good shoulder gently with his own once the four of them had finished eating. "Think you can get some rest?"

Rodney sighed. "I'm so tired I could go to sleep sitting up right now." He moved his injured shoulder slightly, then wished he hadn't. "I really need to determine where we are in relation to Earth, though," he said to himself as he rubbed his tired eyes. That was the one thought that had kept running in the back of his mind the entire time they had been eating. If he knew where they were, he might be able to think of something to do to get them home.

"Kavanagh and that yellow-haired colonel have already left to do that," Ronon said.

"You mean Carter?" Rodney asked, dropping his hand to stare at Ronon. "Kavanagh and Carter? Left for where?"

"The nearest of the planetariums," John said. "They're going to try to get a fix on our position."

"Kavanagh couldn't find his own ass with both hands and written instructions," Rodney said, dismissively. "How is he supposed to get a fix on our position?--and Carter, she always flies by the scientific seat of her pants."

"You said she's good," John said, bringing Rodney's eyes to him.

Sam Carter was a touchy subject between them. John knew Rodney had had an attraction for her before he and John had gotten together, just as he knew Rodney had lied about their having had an intimate relationship during the time Rodney had been at the SGC--Rodney had found himself telling Sheppard the truth about everything after they had sex for the first time, including the fact that Rodney had never been with anyone, male or female either one, before he had been with Sheppard. John's few words about Sam back then had been to tell him it was not nice to kiss and tell--especially when you hadn't even done the kissing--but Sheppard had taken an immediate and obvious dislike to Sam Carter the moment she had arrived on Atlantis. Rodney liked to tell himself Sheppard was jealous, though Sheppard had no reason to be; Rodney was stupidly smitten over the man, which Sheppard knew, and used all-too-often to his advantage.

"Isn't she supposed to be some kind of national treasure where scientific knowledge is concerned?" John asked.

"Exactly what nation is that supposed to be?" Rodney demanded, thoroughly offended. He had never been called anyone's ‘national treasure.'

He saw Ronon and Teyla exchange a look.

"While you, Dr. McKay, are a treasure of both your galaxy and mine," Teyla said with a smile.

"Well--" Rodney began, then was silent for a split second. "Okay," he finally said, completely mollified.

"Why don't we leave the position plotting to Kavanagh and Carter for the night and try to get--" John began, but Kavanagh's voice cut through his words as the ponytailed scientist entered the lecture hall at Sam Carter's side with the rest of SG1 and Vala Mal Doran trailing behind them.

"I tell you, you're wrong," Kavanagh was saying, very loudly.

And exactly why had anyone thought Kavanagh would agree with any other living creature about anything? Rodney found himself wondering.

He sighed and shook his head, knowing this was going to involve him before it was over with.

He went ahead and got to his feet even though there was not a square inch of his body that was not aching. Carter, Kavanagh, and their entourage made their way to where Caldwell and a pained-looking Elizabeth had been consulting at the far side of the lecture hall. They were already talking in quiet tones by the time Rodney, John, Teyla, and Ronon got to them.

"...Sheppard in a jumper to rendezvous with them," Sam was saying when Rodney got within earshot of her.

"Wait a minute," Rodney said. "Sheppard in a jumper where? To rendezvous with who?--and we don't even know if the jumpers they found are even flight worthy."

"Colonel Carter has a fix on our position," Elizabeth said, actually smiling now even as she held an arm across her bandaged ribs.

"She **thinks** she has a fix on our position," Kavanagh said, stressing the second word.

Rodney ignored him, turning his eyes to Sam instead.

"The power surge from the solar flare caused the wormhole to jump to a gate at the very edge of the Milky Way Galaxy," she said. "I've plotted the course the Odyssey will be taking on their mission to assist the Asgard at P3X-533. It takes them to within jumper range of this planet. All we have to do is get word to them and they can come to ferry us back to Earth." She was virtually bouncing on the balls of her feet with excitement, and it was contagious.

"That's the best news I've heard all day," Elizabeth said, smiling even more broadly now.

"When will the--" Rodney began.

But Kavanagh interrupted him. "We are not where Colonel Carter thinks we are. She's wrong."

Rodney saw Sam grit her teeth for a moment as if trying to control her temper. Rodney had seen that look on her face before; he'd put it there himself on more than one occasion.

She turned to Kavanagh. "Look," she said, "I've already told you time is a factor here. We don't have enough of it for you to waste chasing incorrect theories."

"You're wrong," he said, refusing to back down.

Elizabeth looked up at him. There was certainly no love lost between the two of them, as Rodney well knew. She despised Kavanagh, and he despised her in return. It was not that long ago that she had given authorization for him to be tortured for information when she had suspected him of planting a bomb in Atlantis. The torture had never taken place when they had found out he was innocent of any wrongdoing, though the knowledge of that incorrect decision still hung in the air between them. Why Kavanagh had remained on Atlantis after that, Rodney could not say, although he suspected he may have done it simply to be an ongoing pain in Elizabeth's backside.

"Dr. Kavanagh, if Colonel Carter believes--" Elizabeth began, her eyes narrowing with obvious dislike.

"She's wrong," he said, interrupting her words.

"Colonel Carter is a very well respected and experienced--" Elizabeth tried again.

But again Kavanagh interrupted her. "And she's wrong. You don't have to believe me, get Dr. McKay to check her findings."

Rodney saw a quiet comment pass between Colonel Mitchell and Teal'c where they stood behind Sam. Vala opened her mouth to say something, but Daniel Jackson silenced her with an irritated scowl.

"I don't think there is any need to--" Elizabeth began.

"We can certainly take the time to have Dr. McKay look over everything," Caldwell said, his eyes coming to rest on Rodney.

Rodney had known this would involve him before it was over.

"There isn't time, Sir," Sam said. "We have just enough time to get a jumper to the necessary coordinates to intercept the Odyssey's flight path. We could have the ship here in just over a week to ferry us to Earth."

At last there was some good news in this day straight from hell, Rodney thought. He glanced over at John, who was watching the exchange with interest.

"You'd better take the time," Kavanagh was saying now. "She's talking about maximum jumper range, with no margin left for a return flight if the Odyssey isn't where she thinks it will be."

"What?" Rodney said. He turned to look at Kavanagh fully for the first time.

"She's not telling you that she is talking about sending someone out on a fool's errand to look for a ship that very well may not be where she hopes it will be, at maximum jumper range from this planet--it's a suicide mission," Kavanagh told him, then returned his eyes to Caldwell. "We're not where she thinks we are. She made a hypothesis then refused to consider any data that didn't support what she expected to see. She's refused to even consider any other possibility--I hope to God I'm wrong about where I think we may be. Colonel Carter wouldn't give me the time to even confirm what I was seeing. If I hadn't followed her here she would have already had you sending someone off in a jumper looking for a ship that won't be there."

"Where is it you think we are, Doctor?" Caldwell asked, looking more concerned now than at any time during the conversation.

"I--" Kavanagh began, then turned his eyes to Elizabeth before returning them to Caldwell, "I think it would be best if Dr. McKay looks at all the data." Which--though exactly what Rodney intended before John or anyone else left on any mission--still surprised the hell out of Rodney to hear it from Kavanagh.

"If Dr. Kavanagh isn't even confident enough in his own theory--" Elizabeth began, but Kavanagh cut her off again.

"Confidence in a theory isn't proof, is it Dr. Weir?" he demanded, staring at her, and Rodney knew he was thinking about her confidence in his guilt not so long ago, confidence that certainly had not been proof, for the man had been completely innocent.

Elizabeth stared at him but did not respond.

"Certainly there's time for you to show Dr. McKay what you have," Colonel Caldwell said, looking at Sam. Rodney could see a thorough comprehension of the situation on the man's face; and who better to understand it, Rodney thought. After all, it had been Caldwell--or actually the Goa'uld controlling him--who had been guilty when Kavanagh had stood accused.

"Sir, we don't have the time," Sam said, determined, as always, that she was right and that there was no reason to consider any other opinions. "We have to have the jumper in position to meet the Odyssey or we're going to lose this opportunity." Her teammates had moved up to stand on either side of her, in clear support of her idea.

"This might be the only chance we have to get back to Earth, Colonel. I can't see how we can let it get past us," Mitchell said, staring at Caldwell.

"Colonel Carter is most often right about these things," Teal'c said quietly.

"I could start out toward the rendezvous coordinates and hold position to allow for a return trip until I hear from you," John suggested, looking over at Rodney. "That would give you time to check things out."

"No, you can't do that," Rodney told him. "We don't know what's out there," he said, pointing upward toward the domed ceiling, meaning the space surrounding this planet. "There could be defense satellites programmed to shoot down any unauthorized launch. We don't know how the natives might react to your going off with one of their jumpers, either, or if the jumpers are even flight worthy. You could get stranded out in space alone, which would be worse than being stranded here on this planet with everyone else. Radek is out cold and can't run a diagnostic check on one of the jumpers, and I need to check over the data."

And he was not about to take a chance with John's life. Taking necessary risks, when they had to, was one thing, but to jump just because Sam Carter said to jump was not a necessary risk, not for John, not for anyone.

"Rodney," Sam said, bringing his eyes to her. She was giving him one of those looks now, the same kind she had directed at Kavanagh earlier, one of those jaw-clenched, I-think-I'm-smarter- than-you-are-so-don't-fuck-with-me looks that always got under his skin. "We don't have time for this. We have to have a jumper in position to intercept the Odyssey. Your time would be better spent--"

"I'll thank you to not tell me how my time should be spent, Colonel," Rodney told her, getting mad now. Neither John Sheppard nor anyone else was going anywhere off this planet until he looked at all the data.

Sam's jaw clenched even tighter, causing a muscle to jump in her cheek. She turned her eyes to Caldwell. "Colonel, we're wasting time here--"

"We certainly are," Caldwell said. "Sheppard, I want you to start a pre-flight check of one of the jumpers. Take Dr. Novak with you to--"

"Novak isn't qualified with the jumpers," Rodney said. "Radek and I are the only two people here who are capable of running diagnostics and checking the systems for flight in the time constraints you're talking about. Radek certainly isn't capable of doing it right now, and I have to check this data. No one is going anywhere until I've looked at everything."

A muscle was jumping in Caldwell's cheek now. Rodney looked to Elizabeth, who was amazingly keeping her mouth shut and staying out of this in the one time Rodney really needed her support. Her eyes were moving from Rodney to Sam to Kavanagh, as if she could not bring herself to speak up in defense of the position Kavanagh had introduced to begin with.

"Well, get on with it," Caldwell said, clearly not happy with being caught in the middle of a scientific debate when he knew time could be running out on their one chance of rescue. "I want this done as quickly as possible, then I want a jumper in the air--" as if his final decision had already been made.


	6. Oh, We Absolutely Should Not Be Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney realizes where they are.

Rodney could only thank the unknown Ancient genius who invented transporter technology as the doors to the small room John had found in the lecture hall opened to deposit them inside the planetarium. He could see where Sam and Kavanagh had been at work here earlier. The holographic display of a section of space hovered in midair in the otherwise-darkened center of the room, and the screen of a massive display terminal was lit with fluctuating colors and Ancient text.

Kavanagh walked past him to where two of their interface cables lay abandoned on the flat surface before the display terminal. He then sat down and set about attaching one to the rear of his laptop to access the Ancient technology there. Sam was doing the same with the other, looking thoroughly pissed in the process. Rodney hoped to hell she was right about where they were, and that there would be enough time to get a jumper out to rendezvous with the Odyssey so they could be rescued--he just had to be certain first, to know for himself there was no possibility of error. Not if John's life, or the life of anyone else, could hang in the balance.

He watched as Sam and Kavanagh both worked over their laptops for a moment. Dr. Novak was fidgeting with her own hands where she stood now just barely out of the transporter. Kavanagh had asked that she accompany them here. She actually hiccuped when Rodney looked at her, then followed that hiccup by apologizing profusely, her eyes moving from one to another of their party as if she had no more idea of why she was here than Rodney did.

Rodney moved of to examine one of the control consoles there while he was waiting. He could hear Colonel Mitchell mutter something under his breath and glanced around to find Teal'c raising an eyebrow in return--but then his attention was taken by Vala Mal Doran as she moved up to virtually lean against Sheppard. She was eyeing the man as if he were a particularly delicious-looking piece of meat.

Daniel took her arm and dragged her back unceremoniously before John could even react.

"Jealous?" she asked, giving Daniel a predatory smirk. She leaned on him now instead, crossing her hands atop his shoulder as she looked up at him.

Daniel turned to take her by both arms to move her away from him, looking thoroughly disgusted as he released her. His entire time on Atlantis had been consumed with having to keep an eye on her, as Rodney well knew, to the point she repeatedly interfered with their mission. Rodney would have been ready to kill her by now for the sheer irritation factor alone.

Rodney stepped up to place himself between her and John just incase she decided to start leaning in that direction again.

Sam must have gotten her command sent to the Ancient database first, because Rodney saw an annoyed expression come over Kavanagh's face just before the holographic display in the middle of the room changed. Sam turned to look at Rodney.

"This is a section of the star alignment directly above us," she said. "There are telescopes in orbit around the planet, more advanced than any I have ever seen. Once we're back on Earth we really should send a scientific team to--"

"Yes, yes, yes," Rodney said, irritated--hadn't she said they were in a hurry? He waved a hand in a ‘speed it up' motion.

She gave him one of those patented looks of hers, then turned back to her laptop. The stroke of a few keys and the holographic star alignment winked out then reformed again in blue instead of yellow. "This is the computer's projection of the same star alignment as it would appear from a world that we have labeled in the SGC database as P4X-737. We've never taken the time to travel to the planet through our gatesystem because it is at the very edge of the Milky Way Galaxy."

"Yes?" Caldwell said, sounding impatient.

"They're the same." She turned back to her laptop to type a few keys.

The blue star alignment hologram was joined by a return of the first, again in yellow. The second gradually superimposed the first, beginning to merge blue and yellow into green.

"They bear some partial similarity, granted, but--" Kavanagh began.

Sam cut him off. "Do you have any idea the statistical odds of another star alignment matching perfectly on so many points." She turned her eyes to Rodney, then Caldwell. "They're so astronomical as to be impossible. The Odyssey will pass within jumper range of this world on their way to P3X-533. We still have just enough time to intercept them in route. The longer we delay, the less likely we can make the rendezvous, and the more risk to the pilot " she said, consulting her wristwatch, "We can still make it only if we--"

But Rodney was noticing something peculiar about the star alignment. Kavanagh was right; it didn't quite meet up.

He made his way toward the center of the room to study the hologram more closely. While the major constellation in the center of the alignment seemed to mate up perfectly to green, there were a number of differences in the perspectives of the stars surrounding it, points of yellow and blue where the two did not match.

"It's not the same," Rodney said, turning to look at Carter.

"The projected alignment from P4X-737 is only a computer extrapolation of that perspective. Of course we can expect there to be some degree of error," she told him by way of explanation.

"And what about the gravity anomaly," Kavanagh said quietly. He was staring at Sam in that supercilious manner of his, his arms now folded over his chest and his head cocked to one side.

"Gravity anomaly?" Rodney asked, looking from one to another.

"Dr. Kavanagh thought he noted a discrepancy in the orbit of the outer planets in this system," Sam said.

Kavanagh sat forward and hit a final keystroke on his laptop. Sam's stellar alignments disappeared from the darkened center of the room to be replaced by a hologram of a solar system. There were twelve planets of varying sizes, including four gas giants. The eight inner planets had fairly typical orbits, circling around their sun. The ninth, however, was distorted, distended out in an oval orbit in one direction farther from the star. The orbits of the outer three were even more distended, stretching far away from their sun in that same direction, as if being pulled by some massive force of gravity out in space.

A black hole? A singularity?

No, that didn't seem quite right. There was something else, something about the planet out furthest from the star. One side was lighted, and it was the side facing away from the planet's sun.

Rodney turned his eyes to the massive display terminal inset into the wall so that he could read the text now scrolling in Ancient there. The temperature gradients were off. Planets farthest from the star in that elliptical orbit were vastly warmer than those closer in.

A twin star?

No that wasn't right either. The gravity anomaly affecting the outer planets was far too intense.

Rodney turned back to look at Kavanagh. "Are you sure this data is correct?"

"I pulled it from the orbiting telescopes."

"Were you able to get a look at what is exerting that pull?" Rodney asked him, indicating the distended orbit.

"Colonel Carter commandeered the uplink to check the stellar alignment before I could get more than an partial read."

"I don't understand what any of this has to do with our position," Caldwell said.

"The Daedalus passes through the region of space near P4X-737 on its trips between Earth and Atlantis," Kavanagh said, sounding as if he were lecturing a particularly slow child. "If there were a gravity anomaly this powerful along that path, we would know it. We would have been routing your flight path to avoid it. We wouldn't be taking the chance of the ship coming out of hyperspace due to some equipment malfunction only to be caught in the event horizon of whatever is causing this."

"Event horizon?" from Elizabeth this time.

Rodney was getting impatient now. "You can use the uplink now. Let's get a look at what's out there," he bitched--why did he have to tell everyone how to do everything.

Kavanagh turned back to his keyboard and started to type in commands. Rodney turned his eyes to Sam--she was being very quiet now. She had jumped to conclusions and had been proven wrong. By Penn Kavanagh, of all people.

And it didn't look like Rodney would be getting back to Earth in a little more than a week.

He sighed.

"You okay?" John asked quietly from beside him.

"No, I'm not okay," Rodney complained. He felt John's hand on his good shoulder for a moment. A little squeeze. God, Rodney wished he could just go somewhere, take some nice pain pills so his shoulder would quit hurting, then curl up with Sheppard and go to sleep and pretend this day had never been.

The solar system hologram winked out in the center of the room, to be replaced this time by something unlike anything Rodney had ever seen before. It appeared at first to be a massive star, but then the Ancient technology picked it out to its separate components, a cluster of three separate stars spinning wildly in orbit around what the equipment identified as a massive singularity.

There was a moment's absolute silence, which Caldwell finally broke.

"What the hell is that?"

"It can't be--" came a voice from near the closed transporter doors.

Rodney turned to look at Dr. Novak. She was shaking her head as she stared at the hologram in the center of the room.

"Novak? You know what this is?" Caldwell asked.

"No--I mean--yes. Dr. Zelenka told me--but it can't be--" She fell silent, staring at the hologram again.

"Novak!" Caldwell barked, obviously wanting an answer.

The woman jumped. "Sir--"

"Crap," Kavanagh said, before she could say anything more. He reached up to shove his laptop away from him on the flat surface.

"Will somebody tell me what this means?" Caldwell demanded, looking from Kavanagh to Novak to Rodney. Rodney just shook his head and looked over at John. Rodney had no idea how anything like this could even be possible, how it could remain stable for even the briefest period of time. Maybe--

"I overhead Zelenka telling Dr. Novak about it--the singularity, the three orbiting stars. The most amazing thing he had found in the Atlantis database." Kavanagh said the last sentence in an almost singsong voice. He was staring at Novak.

"I asked him what the most interesting thing was that he had learned from the Atlantian database. He showed me the images of the Chlaar--" she said, nodding toward the hologram in the middle of the room "--oh, we absolutely should not be here." She sounded thoroughly worried.

"Where?" Colonel Mitchell asked. "Couldn't there be more than one of these? How do you know one is not sitting near the planet Carter was talking about?"

"There is nothing even remotely like this formation in the Milky Way Galaxy," Rodney said. "Thanks to the scientific teams we've managed to send through the Earth stargate over the years, we've managed to get a reasonable survey of most of our home galaxy, and at least part of the Pegasus Galaxy since we've been on Atlantis--and I don't think we've run across anything like this in Pegasus--" Rodney looked at Novak skeptically.

"Not in the Pegasus Galaxy, or the Milky Way, either one. Dr. Zelenka said that after he heard of Dr. Jackson's discovery of the Ancient's--or the Alteran's--thousands-of-years trip from their home galaxy to the Milky Way," she said, her eyes on Daniel Jackson now, "and of the Ori still living there today, he theorized the data from that trip could be in the Atlantis database. He found it there, detailed star and navigational charts of the journey, and tagged it for transmission to Earth." She turned her eyes back to Elizabeth and Caldwell. "This cluster--the Ancients called it the Chlaar system--caught Dr. Zelenka's attention. He showed it to me, and said he had marked it to show it to you," she said, now looking at Rodney. "He wanted your opinion when you had a free moment as to the physics at work to keep it stable."

"He kept telling me there was something he wanted me to see, but we never could find the time," Rodney said, turning to stare at the hologram again, the wildly spinning suns impossibly orbiting a massive singularity.

"I don't understand," Elizabeth said. "Are you saying we're on a planet somewhere along the path the Ancients took to the Milky Way Galaxy?"

"No, not on the path," Novak said.

Rodney turned to stare at her.

"The Chlaar was the system closest to the Altera's home system" she said, turning her eyes from Elizabeth to Rodney, and back again. "The way it appears here, how it's affecting this solar system, is exactly how it appeared from the Alteran's point of origin." She was silent a moment, as if allowing that pronouncement to sink in. "We're on the Ancient's home world."


	7. A Point in Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other shoe drops, and Rodney and John get a quiet moment alone

For a moment, there was stunned silence, then it seemed as if everyone started talking at one time.

"Are you sure--"

"That can't be--"

"The Ori galaxy?"

"Do you have any idea the distance--"

"No, that's impossible," Sam said, her voice cutting through all the others. She rose to her feet. "We know from experience that when a wormhole jumps, it jumps to another gate somewhere along the path between the point of origin and the wormhole's original destination."

"This isn't the same kind of jump you experienced before," Kavanagh told her.

"Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait," Rodney said, holding one hand up to silence all of them. He looked at Kavanagh. "Do you have any idea how much power that would take? It takes a fully powered zedPM just to connect a wormhole from Atlantis to Earth, and the distance you're talking about is much, much, much, much farther. The Ori may have been able to connect wormholes from their home galaxy to the Milky Way to send Priors and ships through, but we theorize they needed a singularity at both ends to make it work. We didn't have a power source even remotely capable of--"

"Yes, we did," Kavanagh said. "We had the explosion of Atlantis and the Daedalus, the explosion of the Atlantis gate, and, before that, all the power of Atlantis's sun. I wouldn't be surprised if we left a singularity behind where Atlantis's system used to be."

Then it struck Rodney what Kavanagh was saying. "Oh, no," he said, all the pieces falling into place.

"Even if that happened, it all took place after the wormhole jumped, after we'd already come through the stargate," Elizabeth said.

"That doesn't matter at the level of physics he's talking about," Rodney told her. "Quantum mechanics--effect can precede cause." He stared at Kavanagh. "We really could be on the Ancient's homeworld. Isn't that where the Ori live?" Rodney asked, looking over to John.

"Calm down, Rodney. Let's make sure of where we are before we go jumping to any conclusions," John said, placing a hand on Rodney's shoulder again. "Is there any way we could compare the star alignment to the stars above the Ancient's homeworld?" he asked.

"We'd have to have that data from the Atlantis database," Rodney said.

"Dr. Zelenka downloaded all the star charts and navigational data from the Atlantis database to his own laptop," Novak said. "He wanted to make certain it reached the SGC, since Atlantis never got a chance to transmit it."

Caldwell looked over at Colonel Mitchell and Teal'c. "If the two of you would get Dr. Zelenka's laptop. I'm assuming it would have made it to the infirmary with him."

Mitchell nodded and Teal'c gave a slight bow, then the two of them left together. It seemed to take forever for them to return with Radek's computer. Rodney got a chance to sit down at least, collapsing onto another one of the uncomfortable stools. He noted that John seemed to be on alert now, standing nearby with his finger on the trigger of his P90. John's eyes kept scanning the room, as if he expected an Ori to materialize before him.

At last Mitchell and Teal'c returned, telling them Zelenka was still unconscious. Rodney took possession of Radek's laptop and got John to disconnected Sam's so that he could interface Radek's with the Ancient computer system. It took him a moment to sort through Radek's file system using his left hand only, but at last he found what he was looking for. He decompressed the file into an isolated part of the Ancient computer system, startled at the compression ratio Radek had used, and the volume of material he had brought with him--certainly all this couldn't be star charts and navigational information. He keyed into the Ancient systems to remove the hologram from the center of the room, then pulled a more extensive scan of the night sky by uplinking to the telescope Kavanagh and Carter had discovered in orbit; he wanted to remove any chance of error this time.

Rodney sent the new scan of the stellar alignment to the holographic projector to display in the middle of the room in yellow, then called up the last recorded stellar alignment of the sky above the Ancient's home world from the data he had pulled from Radek's computer, overlaying it over the first in blue, just as Sam had done.

They didn't fit.

Rodney felt a breath of relief until he realized--they were too close. It was as if the magnification was wrong. Or--

He checked something on Radek's computer.

"Oh, no--" he said, quietly.

"What is it?" John asked.

"Stellar drift," Rodney said after a moment. "It's the same alignment if you adjust for time."

"That makes sense. The information in Atlantis's computer from the Ancient's trip would be thousands of years old," Mitchell said.

"So--we are in the Ori galaxy?" Elizabeth asked, sounding worried.

"Not exactly," Rodney answered. He was typing furiously one-handed, trying to create a program.

"Not exactly?" Caldwell asked. "Are we or aren't we, Doctor?"

"Give me a minute," Rodney said, not raising his eyes from the screen before him. Almost there, and they could know for sure.

"Doctor?"

"Give him a minute, okay?" John asked, sounding irritable. Rodney could feel him there behind him. At least he was glad that John was here--no, he wasn't. John shouldn't be stuck here. He should be back on Earth where--

He keyed in the last few commands and set the program in motion, turning to watch the hologram in the midst of the room. The initial image pulled from the information in Radek's computer disappeared and was replaced by another, and then another. He knew he had been right; he could see that now, as each new image overlay that of the hologram of the night sky above them, each growing closer than the last to matching that alignment. How far?--was all Rodney could keep thinking. How far--?

"Oh no," he heard Sam say as she watched the holograms change out before them. She understood now, watching the alignments change.

Kavanagh was only a moment behind her. "We've traveled in time," he said, very quietly. Rodney glanced up at him, watching the changing alignment flicker in the man's eyeglasses.

"Traveled in time," Elizabeth said, sounding startled. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, we're sure," Rodney said. He felt John's hand come to rest on his uninjured shoulder once again.

"Oh, come on. Time travel is not possible--" Vala began, sounding amused, as if she thought they were having one over on her.

But Sam silenced her cold.

"Yes, it is. We've done it before, just not this far," Sam said.

"This far?" for the first time in the short while since Rodney had met her, the pushiness was gone from Vala Mal Doran's voice in an instant.

"How far?" Teyla asked.

"Which direction?" Ronon took a step closer to her.

"The past," Rodney said. "Far into the past." He felt John's fingers squeeze his shoulder. "The Ancients kept detailed astronomical observations--I can't believe Radek managed to bring all this with him--" Rodney allowed his words to fall silent, watching one alignment change to another, and another.

At last the changing stopped. Two star alignments perfectly mated, blue to yellow turned into green, without any touch of the original colors remaining.

Rodney stared at it, then dropped his eyes to Radek's laptop, hearing John's voice behind him asking, "How far, Rodney?"

Rodney stared at the computer screen, then typed in a few commands, not believing what the computer was telling him.

"How far?" John asked again.

"Rodney?" Elizabeth said.

"The beginning," he answered at last, turning on the hard stool so he could stare up at John.

"The beginning?" John asked him.

"That's what the Ancients called it. The alignment here," he vaguely motioned to the hologram sitting static now in the center of the room, "the alignment above us now matches the oldest recorded astronomical observation in their database on Atlantis. I can't access any astronomical data from the system here; it seems to be blocked, but the Atlantis database called this star alignment their beginning."

"So both the Ancients--the Altera--and the Ori should be in this galaxy now?" Teyla asked.

"If we're going to have to be dealing with the Ori on their home ground--" Caldwell began, but Rodney interrupted him.

"No, you don't understand. We've gone back further than that, much much further. Even the amount of stellar drift supports the current alignment as far preceding their departure from their home world."

"Wait a minute," Colonel Mitchell said, holding up a hand and stepping closer to Rodney and John. "The crystal for the arctic gate on Earth was estimated to be--what?--fifty million years old? And that gate wasn't even built until after the Ancients had already made it to Earth after traveling thousands of years from their home galaxy."

"And you're saying we're at a point in time that far precedes their leaving their home world," Daniel said, staring at Rodney. "That would assumedly be at a point when the Altera and the Ori were still one race."

"More than fifty million years in the past, to the wrong part of the universe," Ronon said. "Is that really possible?" he looked from Rodney to Teyla.

"It would make sense, actually," Rodney said. He had been rapidly thinking over the situation.

"This makes sense to you?" John asked, sounding surprised. His hand dropped from Rodney's shoulder, and his eyebrows rose when Rodney turned to look up at him.

"Yes. Each time we travel through the gate, we're traveling through a wormhole in space-time," Rodney told him. "This time the Atlantis gate suffered a massive overload, beyond anything it was ever designed to handle. The explosion of Atlantis, of the Daedalus, of the gate itself, the power of Atlantis's sun; as Dr. Kavanagh said, it's very likely we may have left a singularity behind where Atlantis's system used to be, that we may have destroyed the star itself. That extraordinary surge of energy created a temporal wormhole, closing a loop," Rodney said, putting the thumb and index fingers of his left hand together in the shape of a circle to illustrate his point, "throwing us back in time to the initial point of origin of gate travel through space-time."

"But this isn't our initial point of origin for gate travel," Elizabeth said. "That would be Earth."

"Earth was our point of origin the first time we stepped through a stargate," Kavanagh said, picking up Rodney's point, "but the original point of origin for all gate travel would be the Ancient's home world, the home world of the gatebuilders. It makes sense."

Everyone was staring at him--including Rodney. Rodney had never thought that much of Kavanagh's intellectual agility. Maybe he had been wrong about the man.

"Think of it this way," Kavanagh continued, sounding pissed that no one but Rodney was apparently keeping up with him, "no matter which gate you go through on which world, or where you travel throughout the gate system, it all started with the first wormhole opened through the first gate, the first trip through space-time, which would have originated from this world."

"So, it's like hitting a reset button?" Sheppard asked, looking from Kavanagh to Rodney.

"Not exactly," Rodney told him.

"It's pretty damned close," Sam said, apparently keeping right up with Rodney and Kavanagh.

Rodney nodded--actually it was pretty damned close. In a temporal sense, anyway.

Caldwell looked around at all of them.

"So, gentlemen and ladies, if we're on the Ancients home world, where are the Ancients?" he asked after a moment. "I think a race of advanced humans would have the potential of becoming either dangerous enemies or powerful allies."

Elizabeth nodded in agreement. "Perhaps we had better introduce ourselves."

"We haven't found any sign of anyone else, advanced human or otherwise," Mitchell said. "We haven't searched the entire city yet, of course."

"And what about all the Earth anachronisms?" Sheppard asked, and Rodney turned in his seat to look up at him. "They're out of time as well as place, if we're when and where we seem to be."

"Do we have any hope of getting back to our own time?" Teyla asked.

Rodney took a deep breath and let it out slowly--he had nothing. Fifty-some-odd million years into the past, to an unexplored part of the universe.

He looked at Sam, then Kavanagh as well. Sam opened her mouth, and closed it again. Kavanagh was saying nothing.

"Making contact with the inhabitants of this world is first on the agenda--" Caldwell said. "Peaceful contact," he added, looking over at Elizabeth, who smiled in return.

"At least we know from experience that we can't affect our own timeline with our presence here," Rodney said, looking up at Sheppard. "All we've done is just create another reality in the multi-verse--or a series of realities from this point forward." He frowned--he was too tired to even think about the effects throughout time. Would every universe created along their own timeline now double from this point forward to include a past with them somewhere at its own genesis?--Rodney shook his head deciding that was a thought better left for another day.

"So we can safely contact the Altera," Elizabeth said. It wasn't a question.

"Have you thought maybe they've already ascended," Vala put in, as if she thought it was some brilliant idea she had come up with.

"Haven't you even been listening?" Rodney asked her. "They haven't traveled to the Milky Way Galaxy yet, or built Atlantis. None of them may have ascended at this point in time."

She literally made a face at him, which was nothing but the topper on this fucked-up day.

For a moment none of them said anything, as if letting Rodney's words sink in.

"I guess we need to tell our people the situation we're facing," Elizabeth said, looking around at each of them.

"No, we can't do that, not yet," Sheppard said.

"Oh?" She raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"Right now everyone is still expecting Rodney to pull another miracle out of his ass to get us all home."

"Well, my ass is all out of miracles," Rodney told him sourly. "The gate's fused and we're fifty- some-odd million years before ‘home' even existed, in case you've forgotten."

"They don't know we've traveled back in time, Rodney, and it doesn't matter if they heard you say the gate's fused," John said. "You've told us things were impossible over and over again, and you've done them anyway. You've pulled off miracle after miracle and saved them time after time. They think you'll do it again."

"Yes, of course they do, but I'm not Superman." As soon as he said it, Rodney wished he hadn't. John had once cut him down once when he had said something very much like that.

"But you're the closest we've got," John said this time, very quietly, which really was kind of nice. "Right now they believe you'll pull another rabbit out of the hat and get them home. You've done it too many times, said things were impossible only to go ahead and get them done."

"Well--" Rodney said, and didn't know what else to say. He knew he was good at what he did.

John turned his eyes to Elizabeth and Caldwell. "Right now, the thirteen of us in this room are the only people who know we've traveled back in time, and that some miracle repair of the stargate won't solve the situation, and it has to stay that way for now."

"You're suggesting we lie to everyone?" Elizabeth asked.

"No. I'm suggesting that we allow everyone to hold onto their hope that Rodney will pull off another miracle until we've had time to fully assess the situation. Right now we still have too many unknowns, and a belief in Rodney may be the only thing that's keeping some of our people from panicking."

"It is true that we have had remarkably little panic among our people," Teyla said.

John nodded. "We'll tell everyone the truth, but only after we have the entire truth to give them, including the answers to questions that are only one step away from panic--like where are the inhabitants of this world? And will they be friendly or hostile?"

"Will we find more than just fruit to eat?" Rodney put in.

John gave his shoulder a slight squeeze.

"And the anachro--whatever," Ronon said, looking over at John and Rodney, and then to Elizabeth. "What are they doing here?"

"And advanced humans can have some pretty spectacular powers," Daniel Jackson said. "We need to know how the Altera in this time period compare to humans at our level."

Elizabeth nodded. "That all makes a great deal of sense."

"Yes it does," Caldwell said. He looked around at all of them. "So the first order of business is to get answers to those questions, if possible."

"After we get some rest," Rodney said. He was exhausted.

"Tomorrow morning will be soon enough--assuming there are periods of daylight and dark here similar to most worlds." Elizabeth looked at Rodney as if he should have the answer to that question. He could only stare at her in return.

"So, we try to make contact with the Altera tomorrow, maybe expand the survey of the city," John said.

There was a general murmur of agreement.

"Perhaps you and Dr. McKay can get one of the jumpers working to do a flyover of the planet," Caldwell suggested, and both Sheppard and Rodney agreed. "You could scan for life signs."

"We can see if the city has biometric sensors, like those on Atlantis. We could check for life signs directly here in the city," Kavanagh said. He looked over at Novak.

"I could--um--help with that--I suppose." she said, looking decidedly nervous.

"I'll take a look at the information Dr. Zelenka downloaded from the database on Atlantis," Daniel said. "I'll see if it tells us anything about this point in Alteran history. I'd also like to get a look into what the survey teams called the library or archives they found in the center of the city."

"I'll see if I can access the database for the city," Sam said.

"Why don't you and Dr. Jackson coordinate your work," Caldwell said, looking from one of them to the other. "I want everyone working in teams of at least two. I don't want anyone wandering off on their own until we're more sure of our situation."

"Teyla and I will look for a source of water and safe food in addition to the fruit we already found," Ronon volunteered, looking over at Teyla, who nodded in agreement.

"Colonel Mitchell, Teal'c," Caldwell said, turning to the two of them. "I'm placing the two of you in charge of coordinating teams to try to locate and make contact with the Altera. Work with Sergeant Bates; I'm leaving him in charge of security over our personnel here . I want all our bases covered. I don't want to lose any people." He looked over at Elizabeth for a moment.

She seemed to be considering something. She turned her eyes to John, then back to Caldwell. "Perhaps we had better notify Dr. Beckett and Dr. Lam of the full extent of our situation. They're our only medical personnel here. They should know what they may be facing in treating our people."

"We probably ought to tell Radek, as well," Rodney said. He noticed everyone was staring at him. "That is, hoping he's conscious and doing well enough tomorrow so we can tell him. He may have noticed something else in the Atlantis database, something he wasn't able to download and bring with him."

Elizabeth nodded. She looked back up at Caldwell. "I'll apprise Carson and Dr. Lam of our situation as soon as we get back to the infirmary."

"We both will," Caldwell amended.

Elizabeth actually smiled. "We both will," she echoed, giving another slight little nod. They were getting along much better now than Rodney had expected--either that or he was so tired he was no longer paying close enough attention to them to catch the sniping. "Carson will let us know when and what Dr. Zelenka can be told."

Rodney took a deep breath and let it out slowly--he really was worried about Radek.

Elizabeth was still looking up at Caldwell. "I think that covers all the bases."

"What about me? What should I do while you all go off traipsing everywhere tomorrow?" Vala asked. Rodney had forgotten she was even there.

"Well, you--uh--" Caldwell began, then looked to Elizabeth with a questioning look.

"Perhaps it would be best if you work with Dr. Jackson and Colonel Carter tomorrow," Elizabeth said, stepping up to the plate.

"Oh, lovely," Sam muttered under her breath as Daniel turned to stare at Vala with that put-upon look he always wore when she was in his vicinity.

Elizabeth was now looking at each one of them in turn. "We need to keep in mind Colonel Sheppard's suggestion that we keep our exact location and time in history among just ourselves for the time being. At present, only the thirteen of us know exactly when and where we are. We want to keep it between us--with the exceptions of Carson, Dr. Lam, and perhaps Dr. Zelenka, until we can have all the facts, and until we can make a decision on how best to reveal things to our people." She kept her eyes on Vala for a moment, as if making certain the other woman understood her meaning, then she turned to Caldwell.

"Agreed," he said. "Now, I think we all need to go get some rest."

Rodney did not think he had ever been so exhausted before in all his life as he felt when they reached the lecture hall again. He thought they should check on Radek, but Sheppard wouldn't let him, telling him Carson would let them know if there had been any change. Rodney didn't think he could walk another step, although John managed to steer him down one of the long rows of benches to a deserted corner pretty much away from everyone. The lights had been lowered somehow, and most everyone was laying down. Rodney sank down on one of the thickly padded surfaces with relief as John went to fetch their packs and belongings from where they had left them earlier--Rodney was sore, he was aching, his shoulder throbbed like hell, and he only wanted to go to sleep.

He managed to get his vest off with Sheppard's help, and pushed it, along with his other things, beneath the bench. He frowned when he looked up to see Dr. Novak coming down the row of benches toward him. He really did not want to deal with anyone else tonight.

She stopped between his bench and the one just across from him where Sheppard was sitting unlacing his shoes.

"I thought--" she began, then stopped for a moment, took a deep breath, and continued, "I know Dr. Beckett and Dr. Lam are not giving out painkillers--I thought--I don't know if it would do any good--but if you want--" she looked flustered for a moment.

Rodney stared at her, having absolutely no idea what she was trying to tell him. Then he noticed the bottle of Tylenol in her hand.

"Tylenol," he said, surprised--it would sure be better than nothing at all. "Sure, I'll take a couple. Thanks."

She opened the bottle and shook two out into his hand when he extended it, then stared at him as Sheppard handed across his own canteen so Rodney could swallow them down. Rodney's canteen was in his pack beneath the bench.

She was still staring at him when he sat back from returning the canteen to John.

"Uh--thanks," he said again, having no idea why she was still standing there.

She managed only a more flustered look than normal and hurried away. Rodney watched her go, catching sight of Kavanagh staring at them from across the room just before Rodney lay back on the bench with a wince and a sigh, relieved to at last be able to rest his muscles.

"I think Dr. Novak likes you," John said quietly as he lay down on the next bench that short distance away. Rodney was too tired at the moment to even really wish Sheppard was sprawled half on him on the same sleeping surface, but it was a nice thought anyway and one he thought he might take into sleep with him.

"Everybody likes me," Rodney said a moment later when his exhausted mind finally caught up to what Sheppard had said to him.

"No they don't."

Asshole--Rodney thought, though fondly. "You like me," he said, glad they were far enough away from others that no one else could hear them.

"That I do," Sheppard said, and Rodney could hear the smile in his voice, "at least on occasion." He was trying to be a smartass, as usual, but Rodney could hear the fondness behind the words.

"Besides, she lacks the accessories I'm into at the moment," Rodney whispered across the space.

"‘Accessories,' huh?" Sheppard stated, very quietly, knowing damned well Rodney was referring to his penis. Then he demanded, "At the moment?'" he didn't sound any too happy.

"Yeah. If you don't let me get some sleep, I may decide to try a differently equipped model."

There was silence a moment. "Nope, you're too attached to Shep, Jr.." Rodney could hear the smile in his voice, and he could not help but to smile in return. He had no idea which one of them had begun to refer to John's penis as Shep, Jr., but it had a tendency to come up when John was in a teasing mood. Why the hell he was in a teasing mood tonight was anybody's guess. They were stuck on an alien planet fifty-plus-million years back in history with no conceivable way to get home; Rodney was bruised and battered and not about to get laid anytime soon--well, why not tease. They were not about to do anything else tonight or in the foreseeable future.

"Big Shep," Rodney whispered, grinning to himself in spite of his exhaustion and the pain in his body. The nickname always made him think of a big, dopey dog, but it was good for Sheppard's ego, and it was a rather descriptive term--Sheppard was certainly big where it counted.

"Hot Rod," Sheppard whispered in return, the grin evident in his own voice. ‘Hot,' Rodney wasn't, not even by any stretch of his own ample imagination, but he liked that John could manage to think of him that way.

There was a moment of companionable silence between them. When it stretched out, Rodney began to wonder if Sheppard had gone to sleep that short distance away. His own mind wouldn't shut off no matter how tired his body was, or how badly he needed sleep--he was beginning to think about the time ship Old Elizabeth had told them about. What if he could get his hands on the Ancient's research on time travel--

"Go to sleep Rodney," he heard from just across the way. "We're together and we're safe. Radek will be awake tomorrow and pissed that he missed the excitement. We'll find a way home or we'll make a life here--the weight of the world can wait until tomorrow morning for you to take it up again."

And with that Dr. Rodney McKay drifted off to sleep fifty-some-odd million years in the past.


	8. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel visits Radek in the infirmary

Radek Zelenka woke on a hard surface and knew immediately he was not where he should be--if he were, he would be in an infirmary or sick bay or hospital, not laying on this hard _tabulka_ with no sheet over him and without the comforting beep of monitors filling his ears.

"Hello?" he called, looking around as best he could with the world a total blur. He had no idea where his glasses were. His head hurt and he felt as if he had been hit by something very big and very mean. The last thing he could remember had been going through the stargate, so that made no sense at all.

He had called out in English, but the answer came in Czech, surprising him. He was one of only a handful of Czech-speaking personnel on Atlantis, and this voice, though the accent was perfect, was not a voice that was immediately familiar.

" _Jste probudit_ ," a Male voice said--‘You are awake,' in Czech. Then to Radek's absolute astonishment someone was placing his eyeglasses on his face, and Radek found himself staring up into the eyes of Dr. Daniel Jackson.

"Dr. Jackson--I forgot you are linguist," Radek said, in English again.

Daniel shrugged. "I don't often get to practice my Czech--and it's Daniel," he said, smiling. "Is the accent that bad?"

"No, it is perfect."

"Ah! Lad! So you're awake again," Carson said, appearing at Daniel's side. Daniel moved out of his way and Carson bent to check Radek over.

"I take it--we are not where we should be?" Radek asked.

"Hold on, let me examine you before you go asking questions," Carson said, then proceeded to make him take off his glasses to flash a penlight into Radek's eyes. "We had you moved into this room by yourself so I could keep an eye on you last night--you had us scared, lad. Rodney and Colonel Sheppard have been in and out of here checking on you repeatedly. I think Rodney would have set up camp in here this morning if Sheppard would have let him. Elizabeth and Colonel Caldwell have been in, Teyla, Ronon, Major Lorne, Dr. Novak from the Daedalus-- we've been worried about you."

"What happened?" Radek tried again, amazed that so many people had been concerned over him.

"Hold on, and be still. You're as bad as Rodney for fidgeting," Carson fussed as Radek shifted away from Carson's prodding of a painful something on his forehead.

"No one is as bad as Rodney for anything."

Carson smiled and found something else painful to prod.

Daniel was watching them. "Should I step out?" he asked, motioning slightly toward the doorway.

"No, almost finished here," Carson said, moving a finger back and forth before Radek's eyes.

"Is everyone okay?" Radek asked, following the finger with his gaze, hoping that would satisfy Carson so he would not start back with the prodding.

"We have injured, like you. We haven't lost anyone, though."

"What happened? Where are we?"

"One more minute and I'll let Dr. Jackson tell you." Carson said. "How are you for pain?--I'd rather not give you anything if I can avoid it."

"My head hurts, but I can live with it--if you'll just stop poking things," Radek said, flinching away as Carson found another tender spot Radek had not known about.

Carson asked him several thoroughly stupid things, including his age and name, then finished up, straightening to look at him. "Well, you'll live," Carson said, putting his penlight away in the pocket of his white lab coat. "You have a concussion, which accounts for the headache. I want you to stay in bed for the next few days, preferably here where I can keep an eye on you. I'll let Dr. Jackson fill you in while I check on my other patients." He glanced back at Daniel and gave him a slight nod.

When he left the room a moment later he closed the door, which struck Radek as extremely odd. He looked up at Daniel as he reached up to replace his glasses on his face.

"Where are we?" Radek asked, extremely worried now.

Daniel took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then looked around for a moment--apparently for a place to sit down, as he pulled a stool over to Radek's bed and sat. "You remember about the massive solar flare and the wormhole jumping to another gate?"

Radek nodded.

"It didn't jump to a gate between Atlantis and Earth, as they thought at first. The power surge was so massive that it caused the wormhole to jump a much greater distance, in both space and time."

"Time?" Radek frowned at him.

"They believe the massive power surge from the solar flare, from the destruction of Atlantis and the Daedalus, and from the explosion of the gate must have triggered something, collapsing the star and creating a singularity that powered the wormhole's jump, even though the wormhole jumped before any of that happened--"

"Yes, quantum theory allows for reverse causality."

"So I understand," Daniel said.

"So--where are we? When are we?"

"Thanks to the information you brought along on your laptop from the Atlantis database, Dr. McKay, Dr. Kavanagh, and Colonel Carter were able to get a fix on our position because of something called the Chlaar formation."

"The Chlaar? It is near here?" Radek said, surprised. He had hardly believed such a thing could really exist, even after seeing it in the Atlantis database.

"Yes."

Then Radek realized. "That means--" he allowed his words to trail away.

"We're on the Ancient's homeworld."

Radek allowed that to sink in for a moment. "And the Ancients, they are here?"

"We haven't seen anyone yet. The city we're in is obviously Ancient design, but it seems--not abandoned, it's as if it's never been lived in."

A city never lived in? That made no sense. "You said--we have jumped in time?" Radek asked, frowning. .

"Yes. Dr. McKay was able to use the information you brought from Atlantis to get a fix in time from the star positions."

"The stellar charts and astronomical observations from the Ancient's homeworld," Radek said, remembering.

Daniel nodded. "The star positions match the oldest data you downloaded, the point the Ancients called the beginning."

Radek remember that chart, remembered his fascination over it, the view of a time so long ago in the---

He stared at Daniel a moment, his mouth open with astonishment. "That would be--" for a moment he could not say it, then he managed, "over fifty million--" Again he fell silent a moment. " _Svatý materský ze Buh_ ," he muttered at last to himself, looking away.

"The gate on this end was fused from the massive power surge, but even if it wasn't--" Daniel began, but Radek was no longer listening to him. They were over fifty million years in the past, on a world they had never intended to visit, with nothing left to them but--

" _Jé! Kde je mí kufr?_ " Radek said, trying to sit up. Then he switched to English as Daniel rose quickly to try to restrain him, Daniel's hands closing over his shoulders to keep him from rising from the bed. "My case? Where is my case?" He tried to look beyond the other man, to look toward the corners of the room--what if he had left it behind on Atlantis? What if it was gone? What if he didn't have--?

"Be still. Tell me what you're looking for," Daniel said, looking worried, refusing to let him move.

Radek's head was pounding all the more. He lay back, the fear knotting his stomach. "My blue case. It has to be here."

Daniel stared at him for a moment, as if to make certain he would not try to rise from the bed again, then he released his shoulders and straightened to look around the room. "This one?" he asked, and took a few steps to lift something from the floor just out of Radek's sight.

Radek let out a sigh of relief. Daniel placed it on the hard surface beside Radek and Radek reached to unzip it and reach inside, his fingers closing over the familiar edge of something he had handled so many times over the past two and a half years. He drew it from within the confines of the case and looked at it, holding it with its bottom edge resting on his chest--a silver frame containing a photograph. The dearest possession remaining in Radek's life.

Radek looked at it for a moment, holding it now with his left hand so the fingers of his right could trace over a familiar face, then he reached into the pack again and partially drew out a photo album just to make certain it was also there, leaving his hand resting atop it as he looked up at Daniel again. Daniel was watching him, and where Radek had expected to see confusion on the man's face he was surprised instead to find understanding.

"My--partner," Radek said, though the word was so inadequate to describe what Milos had been- -Radek's lover, the person with whom he had shared his life. He looked down again at the photograph, at Milos and himself, taken the last day of Milos's life. They had been sitting outside a restaurant in the United States on their anniversary trip, so happy, the sunlight catching Milos's blond hair and making it shine. "We were together for fifteen years before he was killed."

Daniel had sat down beside the bed again. Radek lifted his eyes to him, not really caring what the man might think--Radek had long ago chosen never to apologize to anyone for his life. He was _homosexuál_ ; he had loved a man and had seen that man die because of it. He really did not care what the world might think.

But Daniel did not seem ready to condemn. Daniel's eyes moved from the photograph in Radek's hands, which he had leaned closer to see, to Radek's face, and he smiled, a sad, sweet smile that touched Radek as few things had touched him in recent years.

"He was a very handsome man," Daniel said, quietly. "You look as if you were very happy together."

Radek nodded and looked back down to the photograph again. "We were," he said, then added, very quietly, "We were very much in love."

There was a moment's silence between them, broken by Daniel at last. "I only have one photograph of my wife," he said, bringing Radek's eyes to him again. There was such sadness in his expression. "Her name was Sha're; we were married for only a little over a year when the Goa'uld took her. That was eight years ago. She was killed several years later, before we could save her--"

"I'm sorry," Radek said, meaning it. Eight years. "You still mourn her." It wasn't a question.

"I always will."

Radek couldn't help himself. He asked, "You're still alone?" although it did not sound like a question.

Daniel smiled, though he still looked sad. "Grieving for someone doesn't mean you can't fall in love again. I did, or maybe I had been in love with him all along."

Him. The pronoun had not been lost on Radek. No wonder Daniel understood. "You left him behind on Earth?" God, how horrible that would be. Fifty-million years in the past before your lover had even been born.

"We didn't part on the best of terms. He objected to my coming to Atlantis," Daniel shook his head. "He was afraid I wouldn't come back. I guess he was right."

"He knows about Atlantis?" Radek asked, surprised.

"He has security clearance," he said, but didn't say anything more. Radek didn't ask, either, assuming Daniel's lover must be with the SGC, most probably with the American military, and thus subject to the ridiculous ‘don't ask, don't tell' rule.

A comfortable silence fell between them for a moment.

"You've been out for the better part of a day," Daniel said after a time. "Dr. Weir and Colonel Caldwell have teams out scouting the city to try to make contact with the Altera. In this time period they would have been an advanced human race still on the path to ascension, before the fracture between the Ancients and the Ori. Doctors Kavanagh and Novak are trying to get the city's biometric sensors online to look for lifesigns other than our own, and Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay are trying to get one of the puddlejumpers they found flying so they can do a scan of the planet. I heard McKay complaining about flying in a ship built fifty-million years before his birth just before I came to check on you."

"McKay is good at complaining," Radek observed.

"This time he has a good excuse. He dislocated his shoulder and got bruised up pretty bad when he came through the gate. Colonel Sheppard and I managed to get the shoulder back into place, but he's got to be hurting."

"Poor Rodney," Radek said, wincing in sympathy. He had dislocated a shoulder once years before and well remembered how it felt.

"You and Dr. McKay are good friends." It wasn't a question.

"Yes," Radek said. "He is my best friend--egotistical bastard that he is."

Daniel laughed. It lit up his entire face.

Radek couldn't help but smile in return.

"He and Colonel Sheppard are quite a pair," Daniel said, but didn't say anything more. Radek stared at him for a moment, wondering if Daniel had seen or heard something to give Rodney and Sheppard away. Radek was constantly warning the two of them they were too obvious if they wished to keep their relationship a secret. How all of Atlantis had not figured them out yet was beyond Radek's ability to understand.

"Tell me about the city?" Radek asked after a moment.

"It's amazing," Daniel said--and he began to talk, telling Radek about massive buildings built from green stone veined with gold, buildings stretching into the heavens and for stories beneath the ground, filled with all manner of astounding things. Daniel was the most animated speaker Radek had ever met, so totally captivated by the subject, his hands moving, his words speeding along, his eyes so alive with wonder in that mobile face, that Radek found himself smiling again as he watched the man.

Daniel told him of anachronisms from Earth, works of art and paintings, of quotations carved on walls in uncountable languages and displayed in holograms created from the very building blocks of life. Daniel had found a quote from the Rig Veda carved into the outside wall of the lecture hall where their refugee population had spent the night: "‘ _Who here will declare whence it arose, whence this creation? The gods are subsequent to the creation of this. Who, then, knows whence it has come into being?_ '" And a quote from something called the Enuma Elish, the Babylonian creation myth, on the outside of this very building they were in: "‘ _My blood I will take and bone I will fashion; I will make man to inhabit the earth...._ '" But the quotations near the stargate were the most astounding to hear, and Radek lay and listen to them with utter astonishment as Daniel read from the notebook he had copied them down in, Radek recognizing not only the Biblical quote on love from 1st Corinthians that he said they had found first, but also a section from Plato's Symposium that Daniel had found on another wall near the stargate.

"‘ _...if there were only some way of contriving that a state or an army should be made up of lovers and their loves, they would be the very best governors of their own city, abstaining from all dishonor, and emulating one another in honor; and when fighting at each other's side, although a mere handful, they would overcome the world. For what lover would not choose rather to be seen by all mankind than by his beloved, either when abandoning his post or throwing away his arms? He would be ready to die a thousand deaths rather than endure this. Or who would desert his beloved or fail him in the hour of danger? The veriest coward would become an inspired hero, equal to the bravest, at such a time; Love would inspire him. That courage which, as Homer says, the god breathes into the souls of some heroes, Love of his own nature infuses into the lover._ '"

Radek stared at Daniel for a long moment after Daniel finished reading the quote. "But--what are they doing here? How did they come to be here? If we are where you say in place and time, those things have not been made or written yet," he said at last.

"I don't know," Daniel answered, closing the notebook to replace it in his pack. "All I can say is that I feel better about a race of people who would choose those to be the quotes they leave to greet visitors at the stargate."

They were both silent for a moment, then Radek thought to ask, "My eyeglasses? I meant to ask- -" He spoke the words in Czech without even realizing he had intended to do so.

Daniel's eyebrows rose in a questioning look.

"Where did you find them?" Radek asked, still in Czech, and Daniel answered in the same.

"They must have gotten knocked off when you came through the gate. I found them beside you while Dr. Beckett was seeing to you. You were out cold, so I tucked them in my pocket before they could get broken. I've lost enough glasses on alien worlds and had to do without them for weeks at a time where everything was a blur. Jack always said--" his voice stopped for a moment, something in his blue eyes behind his own glasses, an undeniable something that told Radek all he needed to know about this Jack, this man who beyond doubt had to have been Daniel's lover following the death of Daniel's wife. After a moment Daniel continued, still in Czech, "Jack always said the SGC had a budget line item just for replacing my lost eyeglasses alone."

It wasn't long before Daniel left him there so that he could accompany Colonel Carter and Vala Mal Doran to the large library facility they had found at the heart of the city. Carson came to check on Radek again, then left him alone as well, dimming the lights as he left. Radek lay in the near-darkness, one hand on the closed photo album on the bed beside him, the other on the back of the framed photograph that now lay pressed to his chest--Milos had not been born yet in this time line, was all Radek kept thinking. Milos had not lived yet to die only because of who he loved. They would be together again, millions of years in the future, as would Daniel and his wife, and Daniel and his Jack. That was a comforting thought.

Radek closed his eyes, picturing Milos from his memory, the first time they had made love so many years before, and the last time on the very morning of the day Milos died.

But it was Daniel Jackson who came to him in his dreams that night.


	9. A Puddlejumper Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More strange discoveries as Rodney and John survey the planet

It had proved ridiculously easy for Sheppard and Rodney to get the first puddlejumper they tried that morning ready for flight. All Sheppard had to do was walk into it and it hummed happily to life as if it had been waiting for him, which was exactly how every other piece of Ancient technology he ever met had behaved.

John was ready to take it up immediately for their survey of the planet, though Rodney made him wait until he completed a full system check, listening all the while to John's inane comments about how this jumper had a ‘new car smell' compared to those on Atlantis, and his comparing Rodney's demand for an extensive systems check before flight to too-extended foreplay before really good sex.

At last Rodney opened the hangar's roof-bay doors and allowed John to take the ship up, Rodney seating himself in the co-pilot's chair and watching as they rose high into the air, then higher still as the city stretched out below them. Rodney leaned forward to try to get a look at it out the windshield. It looked remarkably like Atlantis from above, with the extensions that had served as piers on Atlantis reaching out here like the spokes of a wheel. The entire city sat surrounded by a high wall in the midst of a circular area cleared in woodlands.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Rodney remarked offhandedly, staring down at how the veins of gold in the green stone from which the city was constructed made it sparkle like a jewel from this distance.

"Yeah, and much bigger than Atlantis," John said. "I'm bringing up the HUD," and it came to life on the screen before them.

Rodney sat back and looked at the data displayed there, watching as it changed to scanner mode to search for a complete read of lifesigns in the city below.

"Well, that verifies your theory, if nothing else," John said, staring at the display.

"What does?" Rodney glanced over at him.

John nodded at the screen and Rodney turned to look at it. "Altera," John read from the very top of the display where Rodney now saw the word spelled out in English letters. "It was Ancient for a moment, then replaced itself with the English lettering."

"English--did you do that?"

"What, make it translate?--no, I was just looking at it and it changed."

"English," Rodney repeated, shaking his head. He stared at the display. There was a measure of the area covered by the city written in Ancient just below it. The damned thing converted into English and into kilometers as he stared at it, then into miles. "Stop that!" he snapped, speaking to the ship. It was very unnerving. The jumpers on Atlantis had never done anything like that.

"I'm not doing anything!"

"No--not you, the ship," Rodney explained.

"You're yelling at the ship?"

"Yes--well--" He didn't say anything more. He was reading the display. Sheppard was flying them in a pattern over the city so they could look for lifesigns. There were pairs of readings moving out through the streets and buildings, apparently those being their survey teams, as well as the larger cluster of readings in the lecture hall and a few remaining in their makeshift infirmary. Rodney couldn't help but stare at the infirmary readings for a moment, wondering if Radek--

He didn't even complete the thought before the lower corner of the display nearest to him filled with information: " _Radek Evzen Zelenka_ ," the first line read, followed by what appeared to be all kinds of medical data scrolling beneath it.

Rodney turned to meet Sheppard's unnerved look. Sheppard's dark eyebrows were knit together.

"Is Evzen his middle name?" Sheppard asked.

"How should I know? I know yours and mine and that's it," Rodney said.

John reached to key on his radio. "Carson, this is Sheppard," he said into the tiny attached microphone.

Rodney keyed on his headset so he could listen in. "Yes, Colonel," Carson came back almost immediately.

"Is Zelenka conscious? Is he doing okay?"

"Aye, he is, and I think he'll be fine. I just want to keep him under observation for the next several days."

"I'm glad to hear that." John glanced over at Rodney again. "Can you ask him something for me?" he said into the microphone.

"Certainly, Colonel"

"Could you ask him what his middle name is?"

For a moment there was silence. "I don't think I heard that correctly. Did you say you wanted me to ask him his middle name?" Carson sounded confused.

"Just humor me, okay, " John said.

"Well, alright. Hold on a minute." They could hear him muttering something about a ‘bloody middle name,' and ‘don't I have enough to do already,' under his breath as he apparently made his way to where Radek rested. At last his voice came over the radio again, this time incidentally as he was speaking to Radek. "Son, I've got Colonel Sheppard on the radio. He wants me to ask you for your middle name."

Rodney heard Radek's voice at a distance over Carson's radio a moment later. "My middle name?" sounding confused. As bewildered as Rodney was at the moment, it was still good to hear his friend's voice after having been so worried about him.

"Yes, your middle name," Carson said, sounding indulgently put-upon, which was an odd combination even from Carson.

"Evzen," they both heard Radek say, which Carson repeated into the radio.

"Thanks," John said, then keyed off his headset.

Rodney started to key off his as well, then thought to add, "Tell Radek we're glad he's okay and we'll see him later," before he hit the switch.

He and John stared at each other for a long moment. "How the hell would the jumper system know Radek's middle name?" John said.

Rodney shrugged, sitting there open-mouthed. He had absolutely no idea.

He turned his eyes back to the heads-up display. Radek's name was still sitting there with the medical data scrolling beneath it. How the hell--? Rodney began to think--then the display changed again, replacing the scrolling data with: _Radek, Czech, Earth, meaning: Glad; Evzen, Czech, Earth, meaning: Of Noble Birth; Zelenka, Czech, Earth, meaning: Little Innocent One...Radek Evzen Zelenka fathered Claire Dusana...Claire, Latin/Greek, Earth, meaning: bright, shining; Dusana, Czech, Earth, meaning: a soul, a spirit..._

Then that section of the display gave a flicker and went dark.

"Hey!" Rodney said, staring at where the words had been. He reached up with frustration and jabbed at that section of the HUD.

"Radek has a daughter?" John asked, sounding puzzled, as well he should. They both knew Radek was gay, and, more than that, he had told them he had never had a relationship with a woman. "Well, I guess maybe he tried it at least once with the other--"

"No, he's never had sex with a woman. I asked him one time," Rodney said, thinking hard at the display now, which refused to cooperate with him.

"Maybe it was artificial insemination, or something," John said. He gave Rodney another one of those eyebrow-wrinkled looks when Rodney glanced over at him.

Rodney stared at him a moment. John got the message and reached up to key on his headset again.

"Uh--Doc, it's Sheppard again," John said into the radio as Rodney keyed his on.

Carson gave a sigh. "Yes, Colonel." He definitely sounded put-upon now.

"Could you give Radek your headset and get him to key in a secure channel with me and Rodney?"

"Are you going to keep calling all day long? I have bloody work to do, man."

"It--may be important," John said. "I'll try not to call again."

The muttering was much worse this time. At last he gave his headset to Radek.

"Is something wrong?" Radek asked over the radio, sounding concerned.

"No, not really--did you secure this channel?"

"Yes."

John looked over to meet Rodney's eyes again. "Radek, have you ever fathered a child?" John asked when Rodney didn't speak up to ask the question.

For a moment there was absolute silence over the headset. Then Radek muttered something in Czech, followed by the English, "I know I hit my head, but this is ridiculous."

"You're not hallucinating," Rodney said, feeling the need to step into the situation. "It's an honest question. Have you ever fathered a child? By artificial insemination or--?"

Radek cut him off, "Why it is any of your business, I do not know, but--no, I have not fathered a child."

"You've never been a sperm donor or anything?" John asked.

A more vehement expression in Czech this time. "No, I have not been a sperm donor, and before you ask, unless a man can get pregnant I have not fathered a child by sexual intercourse, either-- now do you want to pry into my sex life any further?"

"Uh, no. Sorry," John said. He started to reach up to key off the headset.

"Why do you ask?" came over the radio before they could disconnect.

"Just--uh--something that came up on the HUD," John said, looking over at Rodney again.

"What came up on the HUD? In a puddlejumper?"

John silently mouthed the words, ‘Help me,' to Rodney, his eyebrows raised.

Rodney decided to step in. "It showed us your name and said ‘fathered Claire Dusana.'"

"‘Claire Dusana?'" Radek repeated. "You're sure it said Dusana?" His voice was very different now.

"Yes."

"That is my mother's name."

John and Rodney exchanged a look. "D-u-s-a-n-a," Rodney spelled out the name, frowning.

"Yes." The link was silent for a moment between them. "I have fathered no children, Rodney. I have never had intercourse with woman, only with man, and only with Milos in the last eighteen years. I never gave sperm or did anything in any way that could make me father a child. I--" again a moment's silence. "Who would know my mother's name? Why would it--?"

"Relax, Radek," John said. "We've seen a lot of odd things since we've been here. Rodney and I will tell you more when we get back to the city."

"Dr. Jackson told me we are on Ancient's homeworld, fifty-million years in past."

"Yes, and it's nothing to worry about now. Just get some rest and we'll see you when we get there."

They disconnected at last.

"‘Nothing to worry about?'" Rodney repeated, staring at John. "This is the most freaked-out place I've ever been--Bible quotes on walls, grand pianos, Picasso's paintings, Michelangelo's David, now Radek's middle name and some crazy shit about him fathering a child and giving it his mother's name--what the hell is going on here?"

"I don't know, Rodney," John said, reaching out to pat his thigh.

"And I was worried about being eaten by the natives," Rodney muttered offhandedly.

For some reason that made John smile.


	10. Foreplay and Puddlejumpers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Foreplay and puddlejumpers kind of says it all

That was only the first of daily puddlejumper missions for Rodney and John over the next two weeks as they were sent out repeatedly to survey the planet, the planet's several moons, and their immediate area of the solar system. At least the missions were uneventful--no life-sucking aliens, no bugs ready to try to sap the life out of John, no energy-consuming darkness bent on eating them.

Now they were returning to the city following their fifteenth jumper mission in as many days, yet another flyover of the planet's largest moon. Rodney lifted his eyes from the datapad in his hands as the jumper banked over a tree-covered mountain range to the east of the city, catching sight of the buildings glinting as always like precious stone in the late-afternoon sunlight.

"The Emerald City," Rodney said to himself as he stared, not even aware that he had intended to say the words aloud until he heard them spoken.

John smiled over at him. "Just ignore the guy behind the curtain, huh?"

Rodney had to return the smile, even if the concept really wasn't that funny under the present circumstances. It had certainly seemed as if they'd taken a side trip to Oz at times over the past two weeks, so much so that Rodney had found himself wondering on occasion if he hadn't hit his head instead of dislocating his shoulder on his trip through the gate, and if he might not be dreaming this entire place. The weird discoveries had only continued as the days had progressed. They had found more text in English and other Earth languages carved onto the exterior of buildings, as well as the Mona Lisa and di Vinci's self-portrait hanging in an art gallery next to the lecture hall. Daniel had discovered what he believed to be the contents of the Lost Library of Alexandria in a series of hermetically sealed rooms beneath the library, and Sam a massive archive of recorded music within the city's database--Earth music, from Mozart to Elvis to Aerosmith, and even John's favorite, Johnny Cash. The grand topper of them all, however, had been Teyla and Ronon's discovery of an entire storage room filled with nothing but boxes of sexual lubricant, which had done nothing but make Rodney think yet again that this had to be a simulation and that John was manipulating things, until John pointed out that the lube was not the brand they used. At least they hadn't happened across a wicked witch bent on destroying them all.

At least not yet, anyway.

Elizabeth and Caldwell had finally informed everyone on their fifth day on the planet of exactly where they were in the universe, and--more importantly--when they were in time. The news of being on the Ancient's homeworld, fifty-plus-odd million years in the past, had gone over with mixed results in their refugee population. Those among them who had been part of the initial Atlantis expedition seemed to accept it easily enough. They had, after all, embarked once already on exploration of an alien world with little hope of ever seeing Earth again. They now set about exploring this place instead. Others were frightened. More than Rodney liked to think about seemed to believe he would find a way to fix everything and get them home, no matter how many times he said it could not be done. The strangest reaction of all had come from a Sergeant Hopkins, formerly of the Daedalus crew, who had stripped himself naked at breakfast one morning to declare he had been visited by an angel.

They had an abundance of food and water here, the promise of comfortable quarters when Elizabeth and Caldwell approved their moving away from the centralized shelter of the lecture hall, and a fascinating--if damned bizarre--city to explore. They had found no Ancients here, no intelligent beings of any kind except for themselves, and, moreover, no evidence that any had ever lived here except for the very existence of the city. Kavanagh and Novak's scans, adjusted to search for readings at the level of biological trace residue alone, left little doubt. John and Rodney's flyovers of the planet had turned up no evidence of civilization beyond the city complex. It was a beautiful world, completely free of pollution, with oceans and continents teeming with life. The creatures they found were identical to those of Earth--catfish and coyotes, elk and buffalo, eagles and porcupines and white tail deer, even an opossum they startled into playing dead when they touched down once so John could take a leak.

The closest thing they had found to themselves was a small population of what Carson called "pre-humans" on the planet's largest moon. Rodney and John had been sent repeatedly in recent days to take scans of them from a cloaked jumper, enough to realize that the creatures were rapidly dying out. Carson and Lam seemed inordinately interested in the little beings, who were on average not quite four feet tall, so much so that Rodney was becoming very curious as to what they found so fascinating about creatures who had not even yet mastered fire.

All in all this was not the worst place in the universe to be stuck for the rest of your life, Rodney supposed, for stuck they certainly were, with no way to ever get back to their own time or to Earth.

At least he and John were stuck here together, which most defiantly counted for something.

"We can be happy here," Rodney said, again to himself, although John responded.

"We're together, that's what matters," John said, with another smile--God, he was so handsome, Rodney thought as he stared at John. Hazel eyes that shaded into green according to what was around him, dark brown hair always mussed as if Rodney's fingers had been in it, lips that were meant to be kissed--and the other things that talented mouth could do...

Rodney turned his eyes away before he could really get to thinking about what he wished they could be doing right now.

John misread his look, which was very unusual for the two of them. It was very rare that John Sheppard did not read Rodney McKay like an open book.

"We'll be okay, Rodney," John said, very quietly, bringing Rodney's eyes back to him.

Rodney knew what he was thinking about--how could he not? Rodney had spent the last six months worrying about what would happen if they were ever found out. John could face court martial, a prison term, worse. Even here--probably most especially here--stuck at the ass-end of the universe fifty-million years in the past under Caldwell's military command, which in military matters made Caldwell judge, jury, and execut--

"We'll be okay," John said again, interrupting his thoughts. John reached out and touched Rodney's thigh, allowing his warm hand to rest there for a moment before returning it to the puddlejumper controls. They didn't often say ‘I love you.' They didn't have to; they both knew, reserving it for their most intimate moments instead when it mattered the most. The look John gave Rodney now said all he needed to hear.

Rodney turned his eyes again out the windshield of the jumper, watching as they drew nearer to the city. Music began to play suddenly within the ship, which Rodney knew was John's doing even before he heard the first words of Johnny Cash singing _I Walk the Line_. John had been inflicting Cash on Rodney off and on all morning while they had been flying the mission.

"What--are you in love with the man?" Rodney demanded, turning to look at him again. "You made me watch the movie with you three times when we went back to Earth."

"Have you seen Joaquin Phoenix?" John asked with a bit of a devilish grin. "He's hot."

"Not as hot as Reese Witherspoon."

"Hey!" John came back, which put an end to that subject. He could see John was in a ‘thou art mine and will consider no one hot but me' kind of mood, which probably came from the fact they hadn't had sex in two weeks.

The song began again only a heartbeat after it ended, and John sang along with it this time, glancing over at Rodney repeatedly with a smile. It really was a nice song when you paid attention to the lyrics, about a man who was being faithful to his spouse because he was in love.

Rodney gave John a smile in return. It had been a long time, too long, since they had been able to be close. Rodney was feeling much better now after the rough trip through the gate. Maybe--

But they were coming in low over the hangar bay already and it was too late to turn the jumper back to look for a private place to land. John brought the jumper in and settled it among the other ships there. Rodney sighed and gathered up his pack after he started the rear hatch lowering, thinking maybe they could wander off a bit later to find some place where they could be alone. Certainly, in this massive city they should be able to--

But John had other thoughts in mind. He turned to Rodney, setting aside the lifesigns detector that he had taken up to look at. "No one is anywhere near this bay except us," he said, coming half out of his seat to capture Rodney's mouth with his. He was taking Rodney's pack from his hands, setting it aside, his tongue swiping deep in Rodney's mouth.

Rodney was with him in an instant, even as John pulled him to his feet and started to back him toward the rear of the jumper, settling him on one of the bench seats there without once breaking the kiss. Rodney finally had to come up for air as John began to fumble with Rodney's belt and the buttons fastening his pants--God, Rodney was hard already. It had been far too long--then John's hand closed around him and all thoughts of anything else went away. John was on his knees, licking his way up Rodney's cock, then taking him into his mouth, the heat and moisture enveloping Rodney and making him moan as John took him to the back of his throat. Rodney's fingers were in John's hair, his hips restlessly rising off the seat again and again even as he tried to keep himself from thrusting, and he was coming all too quickly, pleasure that John swallowed as Rodney moaned his name. John was so good at this. So very good. And he kissed Rodney's penis after taking it from his mouth before he stretched up to capture his lips again, his tongue diving deep and tasting of Rodney's semen.

"I'm going to take you," John said, very quietly when the kiss was finished, "so deep you won't know where I leave off and you begin," which was exactly where Rodney had known they were going with this.

Rodney reached a hand down to slide it up under John's tee shirt to reach bare skin. "Next time it's my--"

But another voice interrupted his worlds. "Got room for a third, boys?" And Rodney looked past John to see Vala Mal Doran leaning against the wall just inside the open hatch, a huge smile on her face.


	11. Outed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Rodney are outed. An ugly confrontation ensues

John knew the moment they entered the lecture hall that afternoon that Vala had to have made nothing less than a public announcement of what she had seen them doing. They had followed her immediately, just as soon as Rodney had calmed down from a state of near-hyperventilation at knowing they had been caught. Rodney was worried that Caldwell might try to courtmartial John even here if he learned they were involved, but John was more concerned over a few homophobic grunts under his command who he had been unable to get reassigned off Atlantis before the evacuation. John knew all too well what had happened to Radek and his lover back on Earth, and he was afraid of it happening to Rodney here--Radek and Milos had been beaten, and Milos killed, simply because some ignorant assholes had seen the two men holding hands.

All too many eyes came to them as soon as they entered the lecture hall. Vala gave John a wink and a wicked grin as if she thought it was all great fun. It had been no more than twenty minutes before that John had threatened to break her neck if she didn't get the hell out of the jumper bay and away from the two of them, but even then John had known she didn't understand what being caught could mean to them. She had found the idea of two men together sexually appealing. She had no way of knowing that in present company it could cost one or both of them their lives.

Caldwell was staring at John and Rodney. Weir. Lorne. Bates. Mitchell, Teal'c and Carter. Kavanagh and Novak. So many others. Teyla and Ronon were making their way across the room toward them, as was Radek, the scientist looking very worried as he reached them.

"She outed you," he whispered to John and Rodney. He moved to stand at Rodney's other side, with Teyla taking up a position beside him and Ronon alongside John. Ronon's hand rested atop the butt of his gun. Weir started in their direction.

Worley, one of the biggest Marines and one of the worst homophobes among them, was slowly crossing the room. Three other Marines and an airman were just behind him, the very ones John had been concerned about the most.

Worley stopped right before him, staring at John. "Is what she said true? She saw you sucking McKay's dick?" he demanded. His fists were clenching and unclenching at his sides.

The nutjob Hopkins, who was dressed now in something that looked as if it had recently been a set of peach-colored sheets, was coming up behind them.

John stared at the lot of them, then swept his eyes around everyone in the room, bringing his gaze back to Worley. He was not going to lie now. They were caught, and there was nothing they could do but tell the truth.

"What I do with the man I love is none of your business, Major."

"Major Worley--" Weir tried.

Worley said, "Faggot," then hawked and spit in John's face.

"Hey, there's no need to--" Rodney said, stepping forward with one hand outraised. John reached for him, wanting to keep Rodney behind him in a more protected position, but Worley got to him first, slamming both open hands into Rodney's chest to send him reeling backwards.

Ronon was on the man in an instant, chest-to-chest with him. "You want to try that again, with me this time?" he demanded, staring down at him.

The man met his eyes for a moment, then turned his head and spat on the ground far from Ronon's feet.

John stared at him, wanting in that moment to kill the man.

"Major, stand down," Caldwell ordered as John at last reached up to wipe his face. Ronon moved back to his position at John's other side.

"I ain't serving under no fag, Colonel."

"Stand down," Caldwell ordered again.

Hopkins was beginning to mutter, then his voice rose loud enough for John to hear him. " _‘If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death, their blood is upon them.'_ "

Caldwell wheeled on him. "Sergeant!"

Hopkins seemed unable to hear him. His eyes were fixed on John. " _‘Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God.'_ "

"That's enough!" Caldwell roared.

" _‘For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. Their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural, and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in their own persons the due penalty for their error.'_ " He thrust one hand out toward John, index finger pointing. He was shouting now. " _‘Though they know God's decree that those who do such things deserve to die, they not only do them but approve those who practice them.'_ "

Teal'c was suddenly beside the man, speaking very quietly. "If you are unable to silence yourself, I will silence you."

The man's words dropped back to muttering again. He was picking at the sheets wrapped around him. Teal'c made his way to stand at Teyla's other side.

Worley was staring at Caldwell now. "I won't serve under no faggot."

He turned to sweep his eyes over the other military in the room.

"How many of you are willing to serve under a fag who'd rather suck another man's dick than do his duty?!" Then he looked at Rodney, pointing at him as he spoke back into the room. "And who wants to work with some queer who would rather take it up the ass than find a way to get us all home?!"

"Stand down, Major," Lorne said quietly, moving to stand between John, Rodney, and the men before them.

"What is this, Lorne? You a fag lover?--or are you one yourself?" Worley said, staring at him.

"I'm saying stand down." Lorne's hands rested on his P-90.

"So am I," Bates said, moving up alongside Lorne.

"What, Bates? You're willing to serve under a fag? To work with one?" Worley demanded.

"I'm willing to serve under this one, if that's what you want to call him," Bates said, his hands moving to his own P-90 where it was attached to his vest. "Colonel Sheppard has saved our asses time and again. McKay has, too. They've earned our respect. I'll serve under or work with either one of them any time."

"As will I," Radek said from Rodney's other side.

Worley turned to glare at him.

"And just so we have the labels affixed if they matter so much to you," Radek said, staring up at the much larger man. "I am homosexual as well. My partner was killed by an ignorant _cubcí syn_ just like you."

There was a moment of utter silence in the room.

"Physical bonding was encouraged between soldiers on Sateda," Ronon said, literally smiling at Worley. His hand had returned to the butt of his gun. "I've shared my body with more men than women in my life--if you want to make something of it." He was obviously hoping for a fight.

"The same is encouraged among the Jaffa," Teal'c said. He inclined his head to Ronon slightly as he met his eye, one warrior acknowledging another.

"Whoa!" Mitchell said in a surprised whisper. He looked over at Daniel Jackson where Jackson stood nearby, as if he expected a similar reaction from his teammate.

Daniel only stared at him for a moment, then turned his eyes toward Worley. "Men have loved other men for as long as human beings have existed, Major," he said. "Our own ancient history and myth is filled with the stories of same sex love--Gilgamesh and Enkudu, Achilles and Patroclus, Alexander the Great and Hephaestion, so many others. The Christian Bible might condemn homosexuality, but it also tells the story of David and Jonathan--Jonathan whose soul was _‘knit with the soul of David,'_ and who David mourned Jonathan's death as having loved him with a love _‘passing the love of women.'_ " Worley was staring at him now. "You served under a man for years who had a male lover, Major, and never knew it. It never mattered to you because you never thought to question the sexuality of a man who would risk his life to save the lives of you and your men. I heard you say once you'd storm the gates of hell for him if he ever asked you to."

John could see the man make the connection. "You lying son of a bitch--Jack O'Neill is no fag-- " His fists tightened at his sides again.

There was a moment's hesitation as if Daniel had never meant to name the man, but he had gone too far to stop now. "Jack and I have been lovers for years."

John heard a soft sound of surprise from Sam Carter.

"I ought to break your fucking neck for lying about--" Worley took a step toward Daniel.

Teal'c was beside the man in an instant. "You will remain where you are unless you wish to suffer injury."

"You and General--" Sam Carter was saying, her eyes on Daniel. There was a look of utter astonishment on her face.

"Yes, Sam," he said, almost gently, looking at her now.

"But, General O'Neill--"

Teal'c's voice was very soft, "He and Daniel Jackson have been together for many years."

She stared at him for a moment, then turned and walked from the room without saying another word.

Worley had fallen silent during the exchange. He glanced around at the four men behind him, then turned to stare at Caldwell.

"You are ranking military officer here, Colonel," Worley said. "What are you going to do about this?"

"You want Sheppard's court martial," Caldwell said. It wasn't a question.

Worley only stared at him.

Weir stepped in. "Colonel, we need John Sheppard exactly as--"

"Doctor, this is a military matter," Caldwell told her.

She opened her mouth to speak again, but seemed unable to think what to say.

A smile touched Worley's face. He met John's eyes, tightening his fists at his sides again.

"In military matters, I'm in charge here; that's the agreement we came to, Doctor Weir," Caldwell continued, in his best command voice, "and I don't have the time or patience for this kind of thing--it's not ‘don't ask, don't tell' here, it's ‘do your job and I don't give a fuck who you sleep with.'"

Worley turned to stare at him. "You can't change the regs--"

"I just did--this isn't Earth, Major. This is Altera, which makes us the Alteran military at the moment, and it just so happens that in military matters I'm the big dog on this particular lot."

Worley just continued to stare.

"Dismissed!" Caldwell barked out, meeting the eyes of Worley and the four men behind him.

There was a moment's noticeable hesitation, then each of them gave salutes. They left the room, each of them meeting John's eyes one last time as if to make certain he understood this was not the end.

It was the end, John told himself, for he would kill any one of them who came any where near Rodney. Rodney moved close enough that his shoulder bumped John's, almost as if he were by instinct seeking that contact. John met his eyes, finding Rodney's expression still filled with concern.

"Well, Colonel," Lorne was saying, drawing John's attention, "I would never have expected it, but to each his own."

John just stared at him, not knowing what to say.

Then Lorne's face broke into a broad grin. "I knew there had to be some reason you hadn't shot the arrogant son of a bitch by now."

John couldn't help but smile, feeling himself relax at the acceptance Lorne was obviously showing them.

Bates was looking at him, his jaw set, his dark eyes still enraged. "If those a-holes give you any more trouble, Sir, they'll answer to me," he said.

"Thanks, Sergeant," John said, surprised as the man's angry reaction.

Bates must have seen the look on his face. "My favorite cousin is a lesbian, Sir," he explained. "She was raped by a bunch like them who were determined that all she needed was a man to make her straight. If they give you any more trouble, they'll answer to me." He snapped off a perfect salute, then went to take hold of Hopkins, whose voice was rising again. "You, come with me," he said, then escorted the man from the room.

Weir was smiling up at Caldwell. "‘Big dog on this lot,' huh," John heard her mutter when Caldwell met her eyes.

A look passed between the two unlike anything John had ever seen Weir give anyone before.

She then turned to John, Rodney, and the group of people around them, which now included Daniel Jackson, Teal'c, Colonel Mitchell, Dr. Novak, and, surprisingly, after a moment, Kavanagh. John noticed Daniel give Radek a nod, which Radek returned.

"Well, you two," Weir said, looking at John and Rodney, "you caused quite a stir." There was a smile on her face.

"We never intended to come out!" Rodney snapped.

"Especially not in a way that everybody would know just exactly what you had been found doing," Ronon said from very close by.

"Oh, God, just kill me now," Rodney said, blushing beet red. John put his arms around him and drew him close, then kissed him there before everyone even as Rodney's body stiffened in protest. If they were outed, then John was going to take advantage of it. He was tired as hell of hiding how he felt about Rodney. He thought for a moment Rodney would faint when he released him to slide one arm around him instead.

Weir was smiling. "Well, Colonel," she looked over at Caldwell. "If the new military rule is ‘do your job and I don't give a--ah--damn who you sleep with,' then I think perhaps we need a new civil rule to allow for same-sex marriage here, if anyone cares to take us up on it at some point."

Everyone stared at her for a moment in seeming complete surprise.

"We're here for the long-haul, remember," she said, looking around at all of them. "The subject of marriage is going to come up." The smile was still on her face.

John looked over at Rodney. "I guess you'll have to break out those wedding rings."

"Wedding rings," Rodney squeaked. Rodney had no idea John had found them. John had stumbled across the ring case in the bottom of one of Rodney's bags while looking for something back when Rodney's arm had still been in a sling, and he had put them back without saying a word, touched by the very fact that Rodney had to have bought them in the few weeks they had returned to Earth after they had become lovers. They were identical wide gold men's bands, each with the single word ‘Forever' engraved within it.

"Yes, wedding rings," John said, giving him a smile.

Rodney swallowed hard, staring at him.

"Colonel," Caldwell said when John looked at him at last.

John returned the same, "Colonel," with a nod of his head.

"Interesting use for a puddlejumper," Caldwell remarked with a bit of a smirk. "Perhaps the two of you could find personal quarters to use from now on?"

John felt his own face heating up at that. He glanced over at Rodney again.

"Well, if everyone's finished outing himself as the case may be, I need to speak with the lot of you," came Carson's voice from very nearby.

They all turned to find that he and Dr. Lam had entered the room.

Carson's eyes were fixed on Weir now. "We're running out of time, Elizabeth. If we don't do something soon, we're going to lose too many of them."

"Lose too many of what?" John asked, having no idea what they were talking about.

Weir then turned to Rodney and John. "We need your help," she said.

"Why is it always us?" Rodney complained, a sound of pure exasperation in his voice.


	12. Jigsaw Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney has an astounding revelation

"We have a problem," Dr. Carolyn Lam said a short while later once they were all gathered in a room that opened off the lecture hall, the door closed behind them.

"Which problem is that?" Rodney asked, irritated as hell. "The problem of being stuck fifty- million years in the past? Or the problem of being in the wrong part of the universe? Or maybe the problem that Sheppard and I just got outed before every single person living on this planet?"

She stared at him a moment. "The problem that we don't have a viable breeding population."

Rodney opened his mouth to respond, but had no idea what to say to that.

Then he had to ask, "‘Breeding population'--of what?"

"Humans," Carson answered.

For a moment, everyone in the room fell silent.

Carson was looking around at all of them seated around the large, circular table. There were thirteen people who had followed the two doctors from the other room. In addition to John, Rodney, Teyla, Ronon, Elizabeth, and Caldwell, Radek had accompanied them, as had Daniel Jackson, Mitchell, Teal'c, Lorne, Kavanagh, and Novak.

"I'm certain you've noticed our population of refugees is far more male than female," Carson was saying, "on the order of nearly ten to one--ten men to each woman--and while that might be pleasant prospects for some of the ladies among us, it doesn't present a viable long-term population mix for building a society."

"Even if half our population were male and the other half female," Lam said, picking up from there, "our numbers are almost below the very lowest projected level of viability. All it would take is one serious bout of disease or genetic mutation and we could lose too many people to survive, even generations into the future."

"Generations--we're to that, then? Having to think about having families, kids, here?" Lorne asked. "So there really is no way--" He turned his eyes to Rodney.

"For the last time-- **no** , there is no way I'm going to get us home," Rodney stated, tired of having to answer this same question over and over again.

Lorne glanced at John where he sat beside Rodney.

"He's telling the truth," John told him. "We're here for the duration."

Lorne sat back. "Okay then." He turned his eyes to the two doctors.

"And, as we've all discussed before, we may not know where the Altera have gone in this reality, but they're certainly not here," Lam said. "We have this world to ourselves to build a life here."

"And we need to start building that life," Carson said, "which includes starting to have wee babies before too long. Otherwise, forty or fifty years down the road we could have an aged population with very few younger members to tend the elderly, much less to carry on once we're all gone."

That was a sobering thought, all of them growing old, dying off one by one until none of them were left but a few of their offspring. That was not remotely the life that Dr. Rodney McKay had thought he would live.

"But why would any of us want to have children," Mitchell asked, "if all we're going to do is leave too few of them here to survive?"

"We don't intend for that to happen, son," Carson said. "Hear us out, and you'll see what we have in mind."

He glanced over at Dr. Lam, then at Elizabeth and Caldwell. Elizabeth gave him a slight nod, which Rodney assumed was a signal to continue.

Carson took a deep breath and let it out slowly before he continued. He glanced over at Elizabeth again. "Colonel Sheppard and Rodney have discovered a small population of--pre- humans, for lack of a better word--on the largest moon circling this planet. They're rapidly dying out from disease that the scans show we can easily cure. We have the capability to save an entire race of beings who will die out without our intervention." He paused just a beat before he continued. "We also have the capability to alter their DNA enough to make their descendants genetically compatible with our own."

"That's not going to do us any good," Kavanagh said. "I've seen McKay and Sheppard's scan data. The creatures are living in caves and don't even have the rudiments of language yet. No matter how much you monkey with their genetics, we're talking about the need for tens of thousands, possibly even hundreds of thousands, of years of evolution before they would be compatible with us--"

But Rodney understood. He looked at Elizabeth and Caldwell and found them both watching him expectantly. He opened his mouth to speak, but John beat him to the words.

"Not if we put them in a time dilation field," John said from where he sat beside Rodney.

"Of course," Radek said, sitting forward, the overhead lights reflecting off the lenses of his eyeglasses.

"So, you can build one?" Elizabeth asked, looking from Radek to Rodney and back again. She was smiling now.

"Of course we can," Rodney said, not believing she had to ask.

"Yes. We can give them as much time as they need to develop on evolutionary scale," Radek said.

Kavanagh stared at him for a moment, then surprised Rodney yet again by being only one step behind. "If we use a tight enough temporal compression ratio, only years would have to pass to us." He glanced across the table at Rodney. Rodney could almost see the wheels turning in the man's mind.

"We let them develop as a human race," Carson said, "helped along by our ‘monkeying with their genetics,'" he glanced over at Kavanagh, to give the man the credit--or perhaps the blame-- for the use of the phrase. "We let them develop a culture of their own, and at some point in the future, when knowledge of us would not be disruptive to their society, we let them know of our existence."

"But we would be changing the very nature of what these creatures are," Teyla said. She looked very concerned.

"They're going to die out without our intervention, love," Carson told her.

"But does saving them give us the right to change what they were meant to be?"

"Someone did the same to us--the Ancients, presumably--many thousands or millions of years ago in our own timeline," Carson said. "In mapping the human genome, we found 223 genes with absolutely no evolutionary precursors within our own genetic makeup, as well as evidence of what could have been gene splicing."

Everyone was silent for a moment with the impact of that statement.

"We were altered from what we would have been," Carson continued. "Humans throughout all the galaxies are the result of that. We can save these creatures, and introduce enough of our own genetic material into their mix to direct their evolutionary path toward our own, then monitor them and correct for any genetic mutation over what could be only years in our own sense of time."

"What if they want nothing to do with us then?" Ronon asked. He was leaning back in his chair staring around the table at everyone. His eyes settled on Carson. "You're hoping for matings between us and these humans you intend to create. What if they want nothing to do with us when they find out we exist?"

"I think the term we're looking for is ‘inter-marriages,' and the merging of the two cultures," Elizabeth said. "As to the possibility they would want nothing to do with us--we'll just have to trust that won't happen." Which had to be the stupidest sentiment Rodney had heard throughout the entire conversation.

"All this sounds very well and good," Daniel said, "especially as we know the Ancients did virtually the same thing to create us, but have you considered that since that time the Ancients developed a strict policy of non-interference in the entire lower planes of existence. They've learned to do that from experience with the Ori. The Ori use less developed beings--humans--for their own benefit, simply because they can."

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely," Rodney observed, understanding Daniel's meaning.

"That's not saying that we would use these creatures," John said.

"Is that not what we are doing?" Teyla asked, and everyone looked at her. "We can call it what we wish, but you are talking of using these creatures for our own benefit."

"Do we have any choice?" Caldwell asked. "I'll take it as a given that we'll save these pre- humans, because we can. We can then either let them develop over the next millions of years as they will, while we die out over the next five or six decades due to the size and mix of our own population, or we can do what we have to do to save ourselves and to guarantee their long-term survival as well."

"Wait a minute," Mitchell said, raising one hand. He looked from Caldwell to Elizabeth. "I just want to make certain I'm understanding here. Are you suggesting that the women among us pick or choose multiple husbands and begin having children with them?" he asked. "Or that people pair up as they will and that the unattached men among us--the straight ones, that is--" he said, glancing toward Daniel, Radek, Rodney, John, Ronon and Teal'c, "wait around years without having sex while we wait for a bunch of cave-dwelling near-apes to turn into human beings? I think I'd rather turn gay."

"I think we'd rather you not," Radek said, with an absolutely deadpan expression.

"Indeed," Teal'c put in as one eyebrow lifted.

Daniel locked eyes with Radek and the two of them exchanged a look. Daniel bit back an obvious smile. Rodney watched them a moment, noting that Radek's eyes continued to dwell on Daniel after Daniel looked away again, then Rodney's mind began to wander as everyone continued to debate the subject. This didn't affect him anyway. John shifted in his chair and nudged Rodney's knee with his own, bringing Rodney's eyes to him for a moment. Rodney was so glad to have him here. The last two weeks had been one of the few extended periods of time when they had been able to spend virtually every moment together. Now they didn't even have to hide their relationship any longer. They were living on a world that wasn't threatened by the Wraith or the Goa'uld or the Ori or any other enemy the universe had dreamed up to throw at them, which meant no need for any future Sheppard-heroics that could get the man killed. John would be safe. They would be together, and living their lives out here to the point of being old men together didn't sound so bad if it meant that Sheppard would live long enough to get there with Rodney.

Rodney's eyes came to rest on the words carved into the opposite wall, in English again as in a number of other languages. This was one of the few rooms he had seen that held its own inscription, for most of the other inscriptions they had found had been carved into freestanding walls or on the outside of buildings. This one sounded vaguely familiar, and it took him a moment to recognize that it was from Plato:

 _And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself...the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and one will not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment: these are the people who pass their whole lives together; yet they could not explain what they desire of one another. For the intense yearning which each of them has towards the other does not appear to be the desire of lover's intercourse, but of something else which the soul of either evidently desires and cannot tell, and of which she has only a dark and doubtful presentiment. Suppose Hephaestus, with his instruments, to come to the pair who are lying side by side and to say to them, ‘What do you people want of one another?' they would be unable to explain. And suppose further, that when he saw their perplexity he said: ‘Do you desire to be wholly one; always day and night to be in one another's company? for if this is what you desire, I am ready to melt you into one and let you grow together, so that being two you shall become one, and while you live live a common life as if you were a single man, and after your death in the world below still be one departed soul instead of two--I ask whether this is what you lovingly desire, and whether you are satisfied to attain this?'--there is not a man of them who when he heard the proposal would deny or would not acknowledge that this meeting and melting into one another, this becoming one instead of two, was the very expression of his ancient need. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love._

Rodney smiled to himself and read the words through again. The quote was so long that, in all the various languages in which it was presented, it covered all the walls of this room. The Altera certainly had a thing for love. He kept expecting to find the most well-known of the _Sonnets from the Portuguese_ carved into some wall declaring _‘How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.'_

This really wasn't a bad city to be stuck in, Rodney thought, if you had to be stuck somewhere. He was at last getting to do some theoretical research in between surveys for Elizabeth and Caldwell. He and John had been toying with the idea of actually trying to build their own stargate, though there was no place they could actually gate out to at this point in history. Rodney, like many other scientists involved in the Stargate Program, had understood for years how the stargates worked, how matter was dematerialized and transported from one gate to another, but when it came to the theory behind the process, the physics underlying the events, they still had only the vaguest concepts, which was something they would have to understand if they were ever to build a working model of their own. Rodney and Radek had learned a great deal from the Atlantis database, but there had never been the time to spend at the theoretical work, and, of all things, the mathematical concepts had given them the most trouble. The math simply made no sense, or it hadn't until a week ago when John had seen Rodney's calculations on his pad, had taken it away from him, and had returned it a half hour later with the announcement that what he was dealing with was base eight mathematics.

Since then, so much had fallen into place regarding not only the theoretical physics behind the stargate system, but also the same that underlay Ancient transporter technology, and even zero point energy, which might lead them to being able to construct their own ZedPMs one day. John's pronouncement of having seen the base eight math at the heart of Rodney's theoretical calculations had allowed Rodney to expand those theories on a much grander scale--he was beginning to see base eight behind everything, from the movement of planetary bodies, to the rate at which the universe was expanding, to the joining of the theories of relativity, quantum theory, and M theory, in other words, a unification of everything.

It was just too bad the Nobel Prize for physics would not be invented for another fifty-million years, Rodney thought with a bit of a smile.

Radek was spending much of his time lately with Sam and Daniel. Carson had tested a revised gene therapy on him while he had been in the infirmary. It had taken in Radek this time in an astounding degree, to Radek's great delight and Rodney's utter irritation, because it had given Radek a facility with Ancient technology now second only to John's. Sam and Daniel had co- opted Radek's time since then to help them in their exploration of the city, which Radek had happily gone along with to satisfy his own curiosity about the place. They had to have someone with the gene, anyway. Altera was far less user-friendly than Atlantis had been to those who did not possess the ATA gene.

Carson was delighted that the revised gene therapy had worked, and was planning now to give it to others in their population--that is when he and Lam finished with the two projects currently keeping them occupied, a cloned stem cell treatment to take the place of Teal'c's tretonin, as he had only a limited supply with him, and whatever it was they intended to do with the pre- humans. Monkeying with genetics was far too much biology for Rodney. The only biological subject that interested him was sex, and that only with John, alone, somewhere where no one could walk in on them, which was just exactly where he really wished they were right now. They could return tomorrow to the theories behind building their first stargate and creating their own ZedPms, while Carson could futz with DNA and gene splicing and creating human beings. Give us a bit longer, Rodney thought, and the people who had ended up here as unwilling Atlantis refugees would recreate everything the Ancients had built over the course of millennia, from the gate system, to ZedPMs, to human beings. After all, the best minds from the Milky Way Galaxy were right...

Rodney's thoughts came to a screeching halt as all the pieces fell into place...the beginning. That was what the Ancients had called this point in time, the star alignment above them on their first night on this planet. The Altera weren't missing. They were--

"Oh, my God," Rodney said, very quietly, suddenly aware again of what had evolved into a heated debate around the table concerning their own population mix and the pre-human creatures.

"Rodney?" John said, reaching over to rest a hand on his arm. There was a concerned expression on his face when Rodney looked over at him.

The Altera were--

Rodney turned to look around the table at the others gathered there, his eyes touching on Elizabeth and Caldwell, Carson, Dr. Lam, Radek with Daniel beside him, Teal'c, Mitchell, Lorne, Kavanagh and Novak, Teyla and Ronon, settling on John again at last. The Altera were--

Everyone was staring at him now. Silence had fallen in the room. " _‘Who here will declare whence it arose, whence this creation?...'_ " Rodney said to himself almost at a whisper as he stared at John, quoting one of the lines from memory that he had seen carved on the front wall of this very building.

"Rodney?" Elizabeth said.

"Rodney, are you okay?" Radek asked. He looked concerned when Rodney turned his eyes to him.

No, he wasn't okay. He was--

Rodney swallowed hard and turned to look at Elizabeth and Caldwell. "We have to do it, to create human beings--"

"But at the cost of altering what the creatures were meant to be?" Teyla asked. "How do we have more of a right to exist than they do?"

"Because we've done it before--or we will have done it--or--" Oh, God, why did this have to be so hard to explain? "What we decide here today could very well be the one thing that determines whether humans ever exist in this universe beyond our own lifetime."

"‘The one thing that determines whether humans ever exist,'" Carson repeated. "I don't understand, Rodney." When he should be the one person to understand, because it was his damned idea in the first place.

But Daniel Jackson got it. He stared at Rodney for a long moment. "You're suggesting that we are the Altera, the forerunners of the Ancients," he said, very quietly.

There was a moment of absolute silence, then, " _Svatý materský ze Buh_ ," Radek breathed out, his eyes on Rodney as well.

"At this point in time the Altera would be an advanced human race still on the path to ascension," Rodney said, looking from Radek to Daniel and back again. "We can argue the question of ‘advanced' if you'd like, but it all makes sense--Carson's adapted gene therapy, the plan to alter the creatures' DNA, my and John's theories on building a stargate, our discussion of how to create ZedPMs; we're duplicating the Ancient's own advancements. Even the star alignment that helped determine where we are; the Atlantis database referred to it as the Altera ‘beginning,' their starting point."

"Our beginning on this world," Caldwell said. Rodney turned to look at him, seeing comprehension now on his face.

"You're saying we are the Ancestors?" Teyla asked. She looked startled.

"The Ancestors of the Ancestors, anyway," Mitchell said.

The forerunners of the Ancients...the Gatebuilders...

"But if we are the Altera--and I'm not accepting that we are," Kavanagh said, seeming very unwilling to even deal with the concept, "where did this city come from? It didn't just pop into existence out of thin air. And all the things here, the things from Earth and other worlds, they had to come from somewhere."

" _‘There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy,'_ " John quoted Shakespeare from memory, surprising Rodney. Rodney looked over at him.

"The Ancients," Elizabeth breathed. She sounded overwhelmed, which was pretty much how Rodney felt in that moment.

Mitchell seemed to be struggling with something. He shifted in his chair, then again. "Then the Ori--" he began at last, turning to look at Daniel.

"--will come from us," Daniel finished for him.

"Or they will in one timeline, one reality, or a series of realities," Radek said, causing both men to turn to look at him. "We have no way of knowing if something we have done already, some decision we have made, may have already split us off from that future. We may stay together as one civilization in this timeline, or we may already have given birth to the seed that brings the Ori into being in our universe."

"And the Ancients were--or will be--responsible for the creation of the Wraith," Elizabeth seemed to have come back to herself again. She was looking at Rodney now. "We will be, our descendants--"

"And for leaving behind the technology that will bring power to the Goa'uld," Teal'c said.

"And for creating human life throughout the universe," Radek stressed the positive, which was so thoroughly Radek, "creating gate system, building Atlantis, creating repositories of Ancient knowledge--"

"And for creating enemies as powerful as the Ori at least in the reality we came from, and who knows how many others," Caldwell said, bringing the topic back to hard reality. "Absolute evil determined to make all humanity worship them."

"And to wipe the Ancients from existence," Daniel said.

"The descendants of our own people from existence," Rodney clarified, meeting Daniel's eyes.

For a long moment, they were all silent, then Radek spoke up.

"We can not speak of this after we leave this room," he said, his eyes on Elizabeth now. "We can not have our people knowing this, watching one another, trying to predict from whom Ori will spring, if they come into existence in this generation, in this reality, at all--"

"Looking to see who is going to go dark side on us," from Mitchell.

"If anyone does," Elizabeth said, staring at him. "As Dr. Zelenka said, we have no way of knowing whether the Ori will even come to being in this timeline. If they do, it could be hundreds or even thousands of years from now."

"Well, that's fine, but it doesn't take care of the problem that brought us here today," Carson said, staring at Elizabeth. "If we're going to save these creatures, we need to do something soon before we lose too many of them."

Elizabeth nodded. "So, we're agreed we cure these beings." She looked around at the others.

"Of course we are," Carson insisted. "I'm bloody well not going to let them die. Not when I can cure them easily."

"And as to interfering in their evolution?" she asked more quietly, looking from one face to another of those gathered around the table.

"Do we have any choice?" Rodney asked.

"No, we don't," John said from beside him.

Carson was staring down the length of the table to Teyla. "We really have no other choice, love. We're not going to harm these beings, just nudge them along toward becoming more like us."

She stared at him a long moment, then gave a brief nod, perhaps not in agreement, but at least in understanding.

Elizabeth took a deep breath and let it out slowly, her eyes coming to John and Rodney. "Carson and Dr. Lam will need your help over the next several days."

"We have an aerosolized delivery system for the medication, if we can deliver it to the moon in a cloaked puddlejumper," Carson said.

"We can handle that."

Caldwell wasn't through with them yet. "We have some very smart people here," he said, "and I'm sure some of them will start to put things together sooner rather than later, but, as Dr. Zelenka suggested, I'd like to delay the discussion of the Ori for as long as possible. With any luck, we may avoid them altogether in this reality."

The meeting broke up after that, although all of them, except for the two doctors, stopped again as a group just within the lecture hall.

"I think it would be a good idea to let our people move to personal quarters tonight if they wish," Elizabeth said, her eyes on Caldwell. "After the earlier unpleasantness--" She left the words hanging in the air between them.

Caldwell nodded in agreement. "We've already surveyed and chosen an area for personnel quarters." He turned to look at John and Rodney. "Colonel, I assume you and Dr. McKay will be sharing--"

"Yes, we will," John answered, and Rodney felt his face heat up as everyone in their group turned to look at him. He wasn't accustomed to so many people knowing he had a sex life.

Caldwell then looked around at the others. "For the time being I'd like two people to each quarters for safety reasons. Ronon, I'd like you in with Dr. Zelenka, and Teal'c, you with Dr. Jackson. I'd like you four to take quarters near Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay. "

"Segregating the gay people, Colonel?" Radek asked.

"No, putting people together who I know will look out for one another," Caldwell said, sounding irritated at the challenge. He looked at Elizabeth. "Dr. Weir, perhaps you and Teyla--"

"Of course," they both said, exchanging a look.

Caldwell looked at Mitchell. "Colonel, you'll bunk in with me, and Major," he said, looking at Lorne, "you and Dr. Beckett. I'd like all of us in the same vicinity with Sheppard and McKay." He swept his eyes over the lot of them.

"What about me and Dr. Kavanagh?" Dr. Novak asked, then looked suddenly flustered when she realized how they might have taken her words. "I didn't mean--not--uh--not us together. I meant--" she waved a finger between them, then shook her head and shut up without saying another word.

"Perhaps you could share quarters with Vala," Elizabeth said, although she looked apologetic even as she said the words.

Vala had wandered up to the group the minute they had entered the room, mouthing a soundless ‘Sorry for the trouble' to Rodney and John as she went to stand at Daniel's side. Daniel gave her an irritated look.

Elizabeth still had her eyes on Novak. "You might be able to show Vala something more of our ways and customs," although Novak looked thoroughly horrified at the prospect.

Vala was smiling at the female scientist. "We'll have fun," she said in a cheery voice. "I'll show you something you could do with your hair, maybe lend you some clothes." She seemed quite happy with the idea.

"She looks fine just exactly as she is," Kavanagh snapped out, seemingly before he realized he was going to say it. He then stared at Vala with his mouth hanging open before turning to look at Novak. John elbowed Rodney lightly, as if to make certain that Rodney was paying attention. Kavanagh just stood there, staring at the woman for the longest time with this thoroughly stupid look on his face, then turned and walked away without saying another word.

Novak stared after him for a moment, her own mouth hanging open now, then called out. "Dr. Kavanagh--" and followed, catching up with him as he went out the door.

Rodney looked over at John with utter astonishment. "Kavanagh--and Novak?" he said.

"Well, they say there is someone for everyone," John said, with a smile.

"Yes--but Kavanagh?" Rodney insisted.

"Well, I fell in love with you, didn't I? He's only slightly more annoying than you are."

"Oh, funny, ha ha," Rodney said, giving him a sour look.

Elizabeth turned her eyes to Vala again. "Perhaps we could get Colonel Carter to--"

But there was a sudden disturbance near the door, Kavanagh's voice calling out, "Colonel Caldwell!" as he re-entered the room. Novak was with him, as was someone else.

Rodney stared as a child crossed the room, a young girl of about twelve years of age, with long black hair that hung in waves over her shoulders, and dark eyes that moved from one face to another of those who stood there as a group across the room. She was dressed in a plain white shift that came almost to her ankles, and her bare feet made not a sound as she slowly crossed the stone floor to where they stood.

"Adria," Vala breathed, a sound almost below hearing. Mitchell and Teal'c had trained their P- 90s on the girl immediately, and Daniel had drawn his gun. Rodney heard the safety released.

"She's just a child," Teyla said, looking around at the weapons with obvious surprise.

"She's Ori," Mitchell said, never taking his eyes from the girl.

But Daniel shook his head. "No, she's far worse than that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Much thanks to shazkatt who e-mailed to ask how they would supply Teal'c's need for tretonin fifty-million years in the past. shazkatt reminded me of something I had stupidly forgotten, and gave well-thought-out solutions to the problem. It is much appreciated.


	13. The Lines Drawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stranded in the past on the Ancient's homeworld, members of the Atlantis expedition and SG1 now have the answers to many of their questions. Now an unexpected enemy arrives in their midst

Carson and Dr. Lam examined the child in the infirmary a short time later surrounded by the presence of ten armed marines. Vala Mal Doran stood alongside, hugging her own arms, her eyes on the girl as if she could not stop watching her. Rodney, John, and the others observed through a soundproofed window from the next room.

There was a long moment of silence, which was at last broken by Teyla. "I do not understand. I thought these Ori were creatures made from fire, yet you say she is one of them?" She turned to look at Mitchell, but it was Daniel who answered her.

"The Ori are ascended beings who have the appearance of fire," he said. "They seem to mostly exist together in a pit from which we think the Biblical references to a ‘lake of fire' representing hell and utter damnation were derived." He was speaking even more rapidly than normal, his eyes never straying from the girl in the other room.

Teyla stared at him, obviously not understanding the religious reference. Elizabeth opened her mouth as if to clarify the issue, but Daniel continued before she could.

"She's the living incarnation of all the Ori are. More than that, she's the Ori equivalent of a harsesis. She has all the knowledge of the Ori, all their penchant for evil, as well as all the genetic knowledge of the Goa'uld who once took Vala as a host. If there ever was living evil in all this universe, we're looking at the purest incarnation of it, the worst of the Ori and the Goa'uld wrapped up into one." He nodded toward the window and the girl beyond, who was staring through, meeting his eyes, as if she could hear every word he'd said even from beyond the soundproofed glass. She reached a hand up to brush a long strand of hair back from her face, her movements slow, deliberate, as if she were tasting, feeling the world as she experienced it. Simply watching her sent a shiver down Rodney's spine--there was something ‘not right' about her, something that was definitely not human, further from human, in fact, even than the Wraith.

"But she's only a child," Teyla persisted.

"Vala's child," Daniel said, and Rodney was almost certain for a moment that Daniel's eyes moved to Vala where she stood in the other room watching the girl, "conceived through the intervention of the Ori. Adria went from baby to child to woman in the space of only hours after her birth. I've seen her kill, torture, with no remorse at all, and seen her relish the experience. She has all the power of fully advanced humans, and probably now of the Ori and Ancients as well. She must have ascended to have retaken this form of a child again."

"But why would she do that?" Rodney asked. "And what is she doing here, if we're--who and what we think we are, then why is she here?" He didn't like this at all. There was something extraordinarily unnerving about the girl, although he could not have put a name to what it was that made him feel that way. John was standing close enough that his shoulder brushed Rodney's. Adria's dark eyes suddenly came to the two of them, giving Rodney the clear impression that she had sensed that touch. John must have seen the reaction, because Rodney felt John's body still slightly beside him, then John put an arm around Rodney very deliberately, sliding a hand up his back under his jacket. Rodney glanced over at him, seeing John's eyes now fixed on the girl. Rodney turned his gaze to her as well, seeing her expression changed, her eyes narrowed as she stared at John with something akin to hatred on her face. What the hell--?

"She is here because we are here," Radek said very quietly, staring through the window. It was the first time he had spoken since they had entered the room.

Daniel turned to stare at him, long enough and hard enough that Radek turned to meet his eyes.

For a long moment neither man spoke.

"Good and evil," Daniel said at last, his eyes moving over Radek's face, "both having to exist in each universe, a balance of the cosmic scales."

"You're talking as if you think God put her here," Mitchell said, "or the devil."

"Just because there are such things as ascended beings doesn't mean there isn't something else out there, over them and us as well," Elizabeth said.

"Amen to that," Lorne said, very quietly.

Rodney decided to keep his mouth shut and not spout off his own views on religion in all its incarnations.

John's hand was still on his back, stroking very slowly up and down. It should have been distracting, but it wasn't. John's eyes were fixed on the girl, and hers on him as well. It did not occur to Rodney to realize what the others might think of what John was doing, until he heard Caldwell's command voice.

"Colonel, perhaps this isn't the place--"

But John interrupted him, turning his head quickly so the girl could not read his lips. "That's not what I'm doing, Colonel," he said, almost at a whisper. John's eyes moved over the others gathered there, then he removed his hand out from under the back of Rodney's jacket and reached his other to take Lorne's hand instead.

"Uh--Colonel--" Lorne said, both eyebrows raised. Rodney watched as the girl's features relaxed once more. Her eyes turned to meet those of Lam when the doctor spoke to her. Adria looked for all the world almost like any child for a moment.

"Testing a theory," John said, then released Lorne's hand. He turned his back to the window to fix Kavanagh with his gaze.

"Kavanagh, I'm going to start counting in a moment. When I reach ten, I want you to place your hand on Dr. Novak's lower back and keep it there," John said.

Novak gave a little surprised movement, her eyes large and startled when Rodney turned to look at her.

"What?" Kavanagh asked, sounding astounded. His mouth was hanging open again, the light from the ceiling fixtures reflecting off his eyeglasses.

"Just do it--and keep your hand low enough that the girl can't see it through the window," John snapped, still at a whisper. Then he began to count as he turned back around, his lips barely moving. Rodney watched Adria's face through the window. She was answering a question from Carson now. As soon as John said, "...ten..." her attention shifted immediately to the window again, this time to where Kavanagh and Novak stood, her features tightening.

"What the hell?" Kavanagh said, obviously having seen the reaction himself. He removed his hand and Novak nervously took a tiny step away from him.

"She senses it," John said, his hand returning to Rodney's back, sliding around until his arm was around Rodney's waist and they were standing hip to hip with their sides fully touching. Adria's eyes returned to the two of them with the purest look of hatred Rodney had ever seen on any face. "I have feelings for Rodney. I'm in love with him. She can sense that when we touch--" he said, turning from the window again so she could not read his words. "Kavanagh, you're attracted to Dr. Novak in more than just a sexual sense alone, aren't you?"

Novak was crimson now, her eyes set on Kavanagh, her mouth hanging open, the woman so started for once that a state of obvious nerves had not reduced her to hiccups.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," Kavanagh said, thoroughly affronted.

Rodney could not help smirking at the man. "He is."

Kavanagh gave him a look that could kill.

"Gentlemen--" Elizabeth said, trying to bring them back to the subject, but it was a subject that Daniel Jackson had not once strayed from.

"And Adria doesn't approve," Daniel said. He was studying the girl, his eyes never once leaving her, a look of concentration on his face.

Mitchell reached out and put a hand on Ronon's arm, uninvited, obviously intending to test the theory for himself. The girl ignored him, though Ronon turned an expression on Mitchell that said the man should remove the hand at once or risk losing it.

Mitchell removed it.

On the other side of the window, Dr. Lam looped her stethoscope around her neck, spoke to Adria briefly, then turned and followed Carson from the room to where the others were observing.

"She appears to be human, though in absolutely perfect health," Carson said as he closed the door behind them. He turned to look at Elizabeth. "Too perfect health, Elizabeth."

"Like that ascended--" Rodney began, then changed what he had been about to call her to "-- Chaya--Athar--whatever the hell she wanted to call herself." He glanced over at John. He was still pissed at John about that, even now more than a year and a half later. God, he hated her; he really hated her. John had flirted with her, admitted he kissed her, even shared glowy--whatever the fuck it was--with her, which pissed the hell out of Rodney even if it had been almost a year before he and John had become lovers.

"An ascended being who was mimicking human form," Elizabeth said.

Lam pushed both hands down into her lab coat pockets. "The synaptic activity in the girl's brain is at ninety-three percent. We've theorized that eighty to ninety percent is required for the ability to ascend at will."

"So she has ascended and chosen again to appear in human form," Teal'c said, turning to stare through the window at the girl.

"She claims to be fully human again," Carson said. "She says she's given up ascension, that she followed SG1 to Atlantis as an energy form because she knew you had gone there looking for a weapon to use against the Ori. When Atlantis was evacuated, she followed us through the stargate, thinking she would find herself on Earth, only to end up here."

Lam picked it up from there. "She says she's stranded here, just as we are, and that she's given up ascension and retaken human form to be with her mother."

"‘To be with her mother!'" Mitchell repeated, sounding thoroughly doubtful. "The Queen Bitch of Evil retakes human form to be with her mommy?" he asked, sarcastically.

Daniel turned to stare at him with an exasperated look on his face.

"I've read the reports of your previous encounters with her," Caldwell said, his eyes moving from Daniel, to Mitchell, to Teal'c. "With all she's capable of doing, the kind of power she has, we can't have her here, not if we're going to build a life on this planet."

"We have to face the fact that there is nothing we can do to her," Daniel said. "We have no way of destroying an ascended being, whether she's masquerading as human or not."

"Destroying?" Teyla said, obviously surprised at the use of the word. "She's a child, no matter what--"

"She is not a child," Daniel told her sternly, sounding almost angry. "You need to get rid of that concept right now. You all do." He looked around at all the others gathered there in the small room. "She's taken this specific form for a very good reason, and you'd better understand that before you leave this room."

"She knows we'd never harm a child," John said. Daniel met his eyes and nodded.

"And would protect one from anyone else who would seek to do it injury," Teal'c said.

"But why hasn't she already tried to destroy us?" Kavanagh asked, seeming to have recovered his composure. He was studiously ignoring Novak at the moment. "If the girl has all the power you claim she has, and if we're who you believe we may be--the forerunners of the Ancients--then surely she has to know that. Aren't the Ancients the sworn enemies of the Ori? Haven't the Ori sworn to wipe them out? Why hasn't she tried to kill all of us, to keep the Ancients from ever coming into existence?"

"Because she can't," Radek said, and everyone turned to look at him. "We are beginning of everything, both Ancients and Ori, and even the humans who worship them. She knows that. If she kills us, she stops the Ori from ever existing." He used one finger to push his glasses up on the bridge of his nose.

"The balance of good and evil," Daniel said, staring at Radek again. Radek nodded.

"So the Ori will descend from us, as will the Ancients," Teal'c said, very quietly.

"And until then we just pretend she's a human child who wants her mother?" Rodney asked, staring at Daniel. This was so fucked. And just this morning he had been thinking there was no wicked witch out to get them all.

Well, ding dong, here she is.

"There's nothing else we an do," Daniel said. "We watch her--"

"Watch her?" Rodney demanded, his voice rising in spite of himself. "Someone who can change into energy on a whim?" That was the stupidest fucking idea he had heard all day.

"We do the best we can," John said, picking up Daniel's argument. "This is an Ancient city, Rodney, no matter where the hell it came from. Maybe there is something here that will tell us how to contain her."

"And until then we just live with her," Rodney demanded, "pure evil determined to wipe out any of us who aren't likely to turn into Ori or Ori worshipers." Yeah, which meant the smartest among them would be the first to go, which meant he was a dead man, followed by Sam, Radek, and John. They were truly fucked, the four of them.

"There's nothing else we can do," John said, echoing Daniel's earlier words.

"Oh, we are so screwed," Rodney said. His day had just gone from bad to the pits of hell.


	14. The Mathematics of Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stranded over fifty-million years in the past, members of the Atlantis expedition and SG1 realize they are the Altera. Now, with Adria in their midst, and the split still to come that will create both the Ancients and the Ori, will they be able to find any moment of peace?

Sam Carter sat on a low stone bench at the mid-point between the now-useless stargate and the black stone wall on which was carved that verse from 1st Corinthians. Darkness had fallen around her, as well as the first patters of a warm, light rain, but still she could not make herself move. There was an ache inside of her unlike anything she had felt in a very long while, an ache that was only worsened by the soft voice of Daniel Jackson speaking her name from the darkness at the other side of that divine definition of love.

"Sam--"

And Sam got to her feet and started to walk away from him.

"Sam, please, wait," Daniel said, and she stopped and waited, turning back to look at him, and at Teal'c, who was with him.

Daniel came to stand before her, stopping to stand between her and that black, curved wall. Sam stared up at him, unable to see his face in the darkness. For a long moment there was silence between the three of them. Then at last Daniel spoke.

"I'm sorry, Sam," he said, very quietly.

"It's true, then. You and--" she stopped herself, then continued, "--General O'Neill, you're--" She couldn't finish the sentence.

"Yes," he answered simply as Teal'c's eyes moved from one to the other of them.

"You could have told me."

"I know, Sam."

God, she felt like such a fool. She'd worried about Daniel so many times, worried that he was living his life alone after the loss of Sha're, when all this time...

And General O'Neill...

She turned her eyes to Teal'c. "And you knew?"

He gave a slight bow of his head, the Jaffa version of a nod.

"Did everyone know but me? I thought we were friends, Daniel," Sam said, returning her eyes to Daniel.

"We are, Sam. Teal'c knew, and Janet, but no one else."

Janet. Of course. Their doctor. She would have been able to tell...and oh, but Sam didn't want to think about that, to be picturing...

And not even Janet had told her. Janet, who had been her best friend. Janet who had known for years how Sam felt about Jack, who had died, just one more loss in Sam Carter's life.

And all along...

"You could have told me, Daniel," she said again, coming back to that again. He could have told her, spared her so many years, all that waiting for a man who all along had been in love with someone else. With Daniel.

Sam stared up at him for a very long time as the rain fell, soaking now through her uniform to dampen her skin, soaking into the earth around her, this brand new world where Jack O'Neill was both fifty-million years in the past and future around them, unreachable, gone as surely as if he had never existed in either of their lives.

"You've been happy?" Sam asked at last. "You've both been happy?"

Daniel smiled. She could see it even in the darkness. "Yes, we've been happy."

"You could have told me, Daniel. I wouldn't have told anyone. I would never put Jack's career in danger. I love--you both, you know." There had been only a moment's hesitation, and what she had said had been the truth. She did love them both, had loved them both, all along. Maybe not the same, but she had loved them.

She was suddenly hugging Daniel, although she could not remember having instigated the hug, though she knew she had to have, for Daniel did not reach out to anyone.

Anyone other than Jack.

Oh, God, she should have known all along, should have seen it. It had been right before her, so many times.

Daniel smiled down at her when she released him. "You've missed all the excitement today," he said.

"Excitement?" she asked, feeling strangely as if a burden had been lifted off of her, which made no sense whatsoever.

"Dr. McKay has put some of the pieces together about the Altera."

"McKay couldn't put together a crossword puzzle if someone else supplied him with all the answers," she said--she loved ragging on McKay. The man's ego was bigger than he was, although she had to admit now that he did have a cute boyfriend in Colonel Sheppard--a concept that Sam had yet to get her mind wrapped around, that Rodney McKay was gay, when he had been making passes at her for years, or at least he had until this trip. Sheppard at least explained a lot about that omission.

"Well, I think he's right about this--and Adria is here."

Sam's hands immediately closed over her P-90. "Adria?" Here? And they had been wasting time--

"Yes, she--" Daniel began, but Teal'c took a step forward into their conversation, bowing his head slightly with that unassailable dignity of his.

"Perhaps you would allow me to tell Colonel Carter of what has taken place," Teal'c said.

Sam and Daniel both looked at him. Teal'c held a hand out to her there in the darkness.

"Will you walk with me, Samantha?" he asked. He had so rarely called her by her first name in all the years she had known him that it took her by surprise. Her hand was in his before she even knew she had put it there, his warm fingers closing over hers even as she heard a deep rumble of thunder in the distance.

They walked away in the softly falling rain, leaving Daniel Jackson standing there alone behind them.

~~~

  


  
  
_Duo_   
  


Daniel smiled to himself as he watched them go--he hadn't known. As close as he was to Teal'c, he'd never known.

He shook his head, still smiling to himself as he turned to start toward the lecture hall. Maybe at least something good would come of all this. It was his fault they were all here anyway. If he'd just listened to Jack--

The thought of Jack renewed an ache inside of him that had not gone away for weeks now, not since the moment he had learned there was no way they were ever getting back to their own time, or to Earth. For the second time in his life Daniel had allowed his curiosity to cost him the person he loved, first when he had unburied the stargate on Abydos to test his theory about the cartouche room, which had resulted in Aphophis taking Sha're, and now in needing to see Atlantis so badly that he had cost himself Jack. Jack had been so completely against his going to Atlantis from the moment he had learned of the distance, and had done everything he could to keep Daniel from making the trip--but after multiple tries where fate had stepped in again and again to keep him from going, Daniel had seen Atlantis at last. And it had cost him--

Everything. It had cost him Jack. And Daniel knew he could never forgive himself for doing that to both of them.

He gathered his few possessions from the lecture hall, seeing others gathering their things as well, everyone preparing to move to personnel quarters. He didn't have much, just his pack and two duffle bags, little more than he'd had as a kid getting shipped from foster home to foster home from the age of eight to sixteen. He knew which quarters he would be sharing with Teal'c, for he had gone there a number of times over recent days to kel-no-reem with his friend. The quarters had been surprisingly ideal for that purpose, spacious, quiet, with soft mats on the floor, thick curtains to shade the stained-glass windows, and oddly enough a supply of candles of various sizes filling several drawers in one room.

Then it occurred to him that if things went well with Teal'c and Sam, Daniel might be looking for another roommate very soon, which only made him smile again even as Jack remained in the back of his thoughts.

At least Sam would be spared Vala-sitting duty. Adria had asked that her mother share quarters with her, and Vala had accepted, which had surprised Daniel, although he knew it should not have. Their quarters would remain under guard, on a different floor from those of the other personnel quarters, by Caldwell's command--as if an armed guard could do anything to stop Adria if she decided to act against them.

When she decided to act. Daniel had no doubt about the use of that word.

He knew Caldwell had said he wanted the core group of people who were aware that they were most likely the Altera to take quarters in the same area, but still he was surprised to find virtually every one of them--except for Teal'c, and Doctors Kavanagh and Novak--all in the same hallway that he was headed toward. They had not made pre-arrangements for which quarters to take, at least not that Daniel could recall. Sergeant Bates was moving among them now, writing their names down on a list that he thumb-tacked to the wall at the head of the hallway. Sheppard was signaling a door open, pulling a red-faced Rodney McKay through the door with him then signaling the door shut, causing Daniel to catch Radek Zelenka's eye and the two of them to exchange a smile. There was little doubt what Sheppard and McKay would be doing tonight.

Daniel then turned to signal open the door to his own quarters, hearing Radek opening the door directly across the hall, then Ronon's deep voice as the big man followed Radek into the room. "Why'd you pick quarters with so many books?"

Books? Daniel thought, his curiosity immediately piqued. He had not found books anywhere in the city except for the library itself. Books, or any written word, as always, were one of his greatest weaknesses.

Daniel immediately forgot about his intention of getting settled into his new quarters and made his way across the hall, his curiosity, as always, getting the better of him. The door had already hissed shut behind Radek and Ronon, so Daniel knocked, then waited. It opened only a moment later for Daniel to find himself face-to-face with Radek Zelenka.

The Czech scientist blinked up at him.

"Did I hear you--" Daniel began, then looked past Radek's shoulder to catch a glimpse of the room behind him--and Daniel couldn't say anything more. He just stared, not believing what he was seeing. He heard Radek say something, then Ronon from the room beyond, but Daniel was not listening to either one of them. He walked right past Radek and into the room, to the far end just before the balcony doors to stare around himself.

Caldwell and Weir followed him inside, apparently thinking there must be some kind of trouble between the three men. The first words Daniel clearly heard were Weir's, "Oh, my God," as she took in the room for herself.

"What is wrong?" Radek asked, looking from one of them to the other.

"It's Dr. Jackson's office," Weir said, for Daniel could not say anything. He was walking from shelf to shelf, allowing his fingers to run over book bindings and artifacts, things he knew so well. He reached to take down a leather-bound volume, to unwrap the cord holding it closed-- one of Nick's, his grandfather's, journals, looking just as Daniel had last seen it last at the SGC. This latter half of the room was not exactly like his office, but his shelves were here, his desk, his worktable, interspersed with clearly Ancient furnishings. He turned to look at the front half of the room, and recognized it as well, or at least the similarity--Radek's lab in Atlantis. Daniel had seen it only once, and then only in passing. It wasn't exact, but similar enough that he knew what it was meant to be--the clean lines of worktables, bright lights, Ancient technology, a large display screen flickering colors and Ancient text, two computer workstations.

Radek was staring at him when Daniel met his eyes. "I thought it was only more Earth anachronisms, the books, and part looking like lab on Atlantis--both are Ancient cities--except--" his words trailed off.

Daniel only stared at him.

"The computer interface was already here." He fell silent for a moment. "It has Czech keyboard. I saw that when I first found this room days ago; that is why I chose it, that and--"

Again his words fell silent. When he began to speak again, his words were in Czech.

"Have you ever been to Prague? Have you ever seen _Orloj_? The Astronomical Clock? It is here. You can see it only from balcony beneath it, and from window here," Radek was saying.

He started into the other room, with Daniel right behind him. Weir, Caldwell, and Ronon followed. Ronon said something, but Daniel did not pay any attention. Radek went to the floor- to-ceiling stained glass windows that opened out onto the balcony there, opening one, then stepping back to allow Daniel to see through--and Daniel could see it, what he had seen before only in photographs back on Earth, the _Prazský Orloj_ , the Prague Astronomical Clock, or something that looked very much like it, set into the face of a building across the way.

"Milos and I would go see it," Radek continued, still in Czech, "at least once a year, and stand in Old Town Square waiting for Apostles to walk."

Daniel turned to stare at Radek, more confused in that moment than he had ever been before in his life--then he caught sight of one of the two beds in the room, the same narrow bed from Daniel's bedroom that Jack had always complained about so much, saying it was not big enough for two grown men to sleep in, much less for them to do anything else.

Daniel walked over to it, then bent to run his fingers over the blue blanket and sheets covering its mattress.

"Dr. Jackson?" Caldwell said, drawing his attention at last. Daniel turned to look at him. There was a clear question on the colonel's face, but one he seemed unable to find the words to ask.

Daniel brought his eyes back to Radek.

"I think perhaps we are meant to share these quarters," Radek said, meeting his gaze.

"Ya think?" Daniel said, raising both eyebrows, realizing even as he said the words that he had sounded just exactly like Jack.

Weir suggested that Ronon share quarters with Teal'c, and she, Ronon, and Caldwell left, leaving an awkward silence behind them as Daniel and Radek stood staring at each other in the first of the two rooms. The other anachronisms that had been found in the city had been non-specific, simply things from their own time and from Earth--but this was part of Daniel's life, part of his own world. And Radek's, as well.

Daniel moved to the desk that looked so much like his and sat down, then opened a drawer, hoping it would be empty--but it was not. There were pens and pencils there, and the empty leather-bound notebooks he used now for his journal, just like that same drawer would have held on Earth. He turned his eyes to the Dell laptop sitting closed on the surface of the desk, the laptop that looked identical to the personal one he kept at home, then opened it and turned it on, waiting as it made the familiar noises that Daniel knew so well. He caught sight of Radek now walking along the shelves, looking at the books and artifacts there, though not touching them.

When the computer came up, it displayed Daniel's desktop. He clicked on an icon, and then another, hoping that if anything had made it here to this new world with him, that--

And the folder was there, the collection of photographs Jack had put together when he'd had a new scanner to play with, photographs of the two of them together, photographs of them with their friends--Teal'c and Sam, Janet, Cassie, and General Hammond--photos of Jack with Sara and Charlie, old photographs of Daniel's parents he had managed to hold onto through foster care, the one single image he had of Sha're. Daniel looked at that photograph for a long moment, then called up instead his favorite image of Jack, one he had taken himself, Daniel wishing so badly in that moment that Jack was here.

"All these books you had at your office at SGC?" Radek asked, an odd tone to his voice.

Daniel glanced up at him. "Yes."

"Including _Men Loving Men: A Gay Sex Guide and Consciousness Book_?" Radek asked, turning to Daniel with the book now in his hands.

Daniel stared at it for a moment, surprised beyond words. Then, "No!" he said, coming out of his chair to take the book from Radek. "This was in our bureau drawer in my bedroom!" He stared down at the familiar cover, not believing he was seeing it, complete with the flagged Post- It notes for the pages Jack liked to refer back to. "It was never at the SGC!"

"I didn't think so," Radek said with a smile--then reached to take the book back from Daniel again.

Daniel released it, although he was embarrassed beyond words to have someone else other than him and Jack handling something that had meant so much to the beginning of their intimate life together.

Radek flipped through it, glancing at the text, then the drawings and photographs. "Something like this would have been good to show to Rodney," he said after a moment, obviously to himself as he turned another page.

"Rodney?" Daniel asked--McKay? And Radek? What about Sheppard?

Radek smiled again, obviously knowing just exactly what Daniel had thought in that moment. Then went to sit down on the equivalent of an Ancient sofa nearby. "Rodney asked me if I had a book in English about ‘gay sex' when he and Colonel Sheppard first became lovers." Radek handed the book to him and Daniel sat back down in his chair with it in his hands.

"Oh," Daniel said. He looked down at the familiar cover again. "This was actually a gift," he said, then raised his eyes to Radek's again. "An air force major named Paul Davis gave it to me before Jack and I became lovers. Paul was there when I had to give the okay to destroy a sub that Jack was on, to keep Jack and Teal'c from being eaten alive by replicators. Paul and his partner had been together for years. He said he could see how I felt about Jack, and he gave me this as an encouragement to get me to talk to Jack about my feelings."

"Jack was your first, wasn't he?" Radek asked, very softly. "The first man, anyway?"

Daniel nodded--he couldn't believe he was talking to Radek about this, that he was talking to anyone about it. Sex was something very private to him, very personal. But he heard himself answering.

"The only man, and Sha're is the only woman, except--" Daniel's words trailed away--he wished he had not thought of this, that he had not brought it up. Radek was looking at him in the most open, accepting way. "I--there was this goa'uld. Hathor. She drugged all the men on the base. She--"

He didn't have to say it. Radek understood. "She raped you," he said, very quietly.

Daniel nodded again, staring down now at the book in his hands, his fingers clenching it tightly. "She used me, my DNA, to make more goa'uld."

There was a soft sound of--perhaps surprise--from Radek.

Daniel looked up at him. "They were destroyed, thank God, but not before she tried to implant one in Jack to turn him into a Jaffa," he said, with a shudder, before turning his eyes back to the book in his hands again.

There was silence for a moment between them.

"And you and Sha're, you had no children?" Radek asked.

"No," Daniel said. "We didn't do anything to prevent it; it just never happened. Sometimes I wish--" again his words trailed away.

"That you had had a child together," Radek supplied, and Daniel nodded again, still staring at the book.

"She had a child, a son, fathered by Aphophis after she was taken over by a goa'uld. I delivered him--that was one of the hardest things I've ever done, to look down into that baby's face and know what Sha're had gone through, and that--" He just couldn't say it.

"That he should have been your child," said so very quietly.

Daniel didn't answer. He knew Radek understood. Again silence fell between them, broken by Daniel at last as he looked over at the other man. "You and Milos, did you ever considered adopting or using a surrogate?"

"No, we were both so busy with our work. We had lesbian friends, a couple, who wanted one of us to donate sperm so they could have a child. We didn't. After Milos was killed, I wished--" It was Radek's turn this time for the words to trail away. His eyes left Daniel a moment, and were so sad when they returned again. "It would be nice to know some part of him still lived."

"That's how I felt about Sha're's son."

"You and your Jack, did you talk of adopting, using surrogate?"

"No. Jack had a son, Charlie. He died." Daniel left it at that.

For a long moment silence fell between them.

"Can I ask you--you said Milos was killed?" Daniel asked, although he was reluctant to bring it up.

"Yes. We were on anniversary trip, fifteen years together," Radek said, getting up from where he had been sitting to pace across the room toward the stained glass door that opened onto the balcony, Daniel turning in his chair to follow him with his eyes.

Radek was hugging his own arms in that moment in a way that reminded Daniel very much of something he used to do himself. Radek stood for a moment with his back to Daniel, his eyes set on the colored glass, although Daniel would have almost bet that he wasn't seeing it, that he was looking into his own past instead.

"We went to restaurant that night," Radek said, very quietly, not turning around. "We were so happy, so much in love. I reached out and took his hand--if I had not done that--" The words stopped as Radek continued to stare into his own pain.

Daniel rose from his chair and closed the distance between them, stopping only a few feet away.

"They called us ‘queers,' ‘fags,' like that ignorant _cubcí syn_ called Rodney and Sheppard today."

Radek turned to look at Daniel, such pain in the blue eyes behind his eyeglasses that Daniel could literally feel his hurt.

"I loved Milos. We were going to spend our lives together. He was my--partner, my mate, my spouse in all but legal way. We lived in each other's hearts. We spent every minute together-- and they killed him."

For a long moment, Radek's words fell silent.

"We were leaving restaurant together. One said, ‘Look at the queers holding hands,' and they were on us. They beat us both, but that wasn't enough, one got _sochor_ \--uh--prybar from trunk of car. Milos tried to get him off me. He hit Milos, again and again. He wouldn't stop--"

"Oh, God, Radek, I'm so sorry," Daniel said, seeing the horror in his own mind as Radek said the words.

Radek's eyes were bright with unshed tears. There was such quiet dignity in his face, every bit the man Milos had loved in that moment, his chin raised even as he continued. "In hospital they wouldn't let me see him. They had intern keep me in another room. I was nothing to him, they said. Fifteen years of lifetime together, and I was nothing, all because we were both men." A moment's silence, and somehow Daniel knew what Radek would say even before he said it. "Milos was alone when he died, with no one there to see him go."

Silence again, then:

"He was alone."

Radek lowered his chin at last. Daniel knew he was fighting back tears he would never shed. Daniel reached out to him, placing a hand on his upper arm--lightning flashed beyond the stained glass beside them, washing them both in vivid color as a massive bolt struck the ground outside, the blast shaking the door in its frame and rumbling through the floor beneath their feet even within the soundproofed building.

Daniel and Radek looked at each other, then both looked toward the balcony doors, both reaching for the handle at the same time, Radek's hand closing over Daniel's just as Daniel pulled open the door--another massive bolt streaked down from the sky to strike the ground in the park area below the balcony, almost deafening them both with sound as they closed their eyes and turned away from the flash.

Daniel could see the afterimage of the lightning bolt even with his eyes closed, but he still turned back at last to look outside, stepping out onto the balcony behind Radek to stare out at a dark sky with lightning streaking across the bellies of the clouds. Daniel had never seen anything like it in his life, jagged bolts forking horizontally across the sky, racing away to the sound of continuous thunder, with massive bolts breaking away to strike the ground from time to time hard enough to make his ears ache.

A heavy rain was coming down, sheeting under the edge of the balcony, though he and Radek were protected where they stood.

"My God, what is happening?" Radek said, very quietly. "It is like world is coming to an end."

~~~

  


  
  
_Tres_   
  


Elizabeth Weir stood just within the open balcony door to the quarters she would be sharing with Teyla Emmagan, Colonel Caldwell beside her. She narrowed her eyes and turned away as another bolt of lightning forked down to strike the ground, the sound of the impact and the deafening roar of thunder drowning out Caldwell for a moment as he tried yet again to raise either Teal'c or Lieutenant Colonel Carter over his headset radio.

Sergeant Bates had stopped them in the hallway to tell them that he had completed a headcount of the people then scattered between this building and those still making their way here from the lecture hall, and that Teal'c and Carter were not among their number. He had been unable to reach either by radio, though he assumed the growing electrical activity outside might be interfering with the signal. The storm had already been going in force by then, a storm unlike any Elizabeth had ever seen in her life, making her wonder how they would ever survive here if this turned out to be a regular occurrence.

"Colonel Carter, Teal'c, report," Caldwell said for the uncountable time, then listened for a moment. "Colonel Carter, Teal'c--"

" _We..........Colonel..........._ " Elizabeth heard over her own headset through bursts of static. It was Teal'c's voice.

"Repeat again. We're not hearing you clearly," Caldwell said, his eyes locking with Elizabeth's.

" _We.................safe and...........................wait here until the storm............_ " An earsplitting squeal of static drowned him out at last.

Caldwell winced, as did Elizabeth, as the volume played out over their headsets.

When it died away, Caldwell asked, "Do I understand correctly that you and Colonel Carter are together and have taken shelter to wait out the storm?"

" _Yes, we're fine, Colonel. We..._ " came Sam Carter's voice this time before static drowned out her words as well.

"Understood," Caldwell said, still meeting Elizabeth's eyes. "We'll keep someone monitoring this channel throughout the night. Let us know if you run into trouble. Caldwell out," just before he keyed off his own mike. Another lightning bolt broke away and raced down to hit the ground, though this time at a distance away in the city.

When the thunder died away again Elizabeth could hear Teyla and Ronon speaking in the next room. Ronon had accompanied them here after they had heard Bates report.

"Well, Colonel, perhaps--" Elizabeth began, but Caldwell interrupted her.

"Stephen," he said, still meeting her eyes.

For a moment she could only stare up at him, aware suddenly of how close they were standing.

"Elizabeth," she said at last, knowing this was breaking down a wall between them that should perhaps not be torn down, not if they were to remain responsible for their people here.

He smiled. For so long she had seen him as--not the enemy, but perhaps as her rival. Her rival for command of Atlantis.

But now Atlantis was gone and here they were, forced to work together for the good of their people, teaching her over the past two weeks that Stephen Caldwell was much more than a uniform and military discipline alone. What he had done for John and Rodney today had proven that.

He placed a warm hand on her cheek, lightly running one calloused thumb over her lips and she drew in her breath quickly, the intimacy of that touch with their eyes locked almost more than a kiss. Another bolt of lightning streaked down from the sky, impacting the ground just outside this building, but she did not see it, having closed her eyes at last to lean into the warmth of his hand.

"I've wanted to do that for a very long time," he said as she opened her eyes to look up at him again, "a very long time."

~~~

  


  
  
_Quattuor_   
  


"Maybe you should leave these quarters to the two of them," Ronon Dex said, turning his eyes from the interchange in the balcony doorway between Dr. Weir and Colonel Caldwell to smile down at Teyla instead, his dark eyes moving over her face.

Teyla put a hand on his bare arm to draw him out of the room, hearing the hard impact of lightning again just outside the building, followed by the roar of thunder. She had no idea how Dr. Weir and Colonel Caldwell could endure standing in that open doorway with the fury of this storm just beyond them.

Ronon was still smiling down at her when they stopped just within the first room of the quarters. "You could share quarters with me instead," he suggested, his eyes still moving over her face.

Teyla had to resist the urge to smile. She knew very well how he had been looking at her almost from the first day they met. "Ronon, my people, are--what was the word Dr. Weir used?-- matriarchal by nature. Athosian women choose their mates; they are not chosen."

His smile deepened into the one she saw now even in her dreams at night. "What do I have to do to be chosen?" he asked.

"We'll see," she said, no longer able to resist the smile. "We'll see."

~~~

  


  
  
_Quinque_   
  


Dr. Carolyn Lam collapsed down onto the Ancient's version of a sofa in the quarters she would be sharing with Sam Carter, her eyes settling on Cameron Mitchell as he wandered around the room looking at the paintings on the walls. He had carried her bags here from the lecture hall, and seemed now in no hurry to leave. That suited Carolyn just as well. He was a familiar face, the most familiar on this planet, and she had no desire to be alone until Carter showed up.

Cam had been--there was no other word for it--her revenge fuck against the husband who had left her for another woman, although Carolyn had not indulged in that revenge until the day after her divorce had become final. Her ex-husband had hated Cam from the moment Cam had arrived on the base, and had called him "that cocksure son-of-a-bitch" from that very first day--Cam had certainly proven himself better in bed than Andy, intent on giving as much pleasure as he received.

Cam had asked her to dinner the next day, and again the day after that, although Carolyn said no both times, and again when he called less than a week later, until he got the message at last. She had been too raw emotionally at that time, too unwilling to get into another relationship, and she could see that was where this was heading. They were too good together for it not to be, so she has avoided him thereafter.

That had been when Cam had been flying test aircraft at Area 51 and Carolyn had been the CMO there. When he had been reassigned shortly thereafter, she had never thought she would see him again, only to find them both at Stargate Command, and now here.

Cam had said hardly a word since they had entered her quarters tonight, which was very unusual for him. The man liked to talk, as she well knew. His silence did nothing but tell her how awkward this was for him, how much he must think he had done something wrong for her to have cut him off back then so completely without ever explaining the reasons. They had never talked about it after both finding themselves at Stargate Command.

Carolyn got up and crossed the room to where he stood now, although he did not turn from the painting he seemed to be examining. She reached up to place a hand on his back, hearing thunder crash outside, another bolt of lightning impacting the ground, then again, though she felt perfectly safe here. He turned to meet her eyes as her hand dropped away.

"I'm glad you're here, Cam," she said after a moment. She could almost feel the tension within him peak, and then begin to bleed away.

At last he smiled.

~~~

  


  
  
_Sex_   
  


"So--are you gay?" Major Evan Lorne asked as he settled himself on one of the beds in the quarters he would be sharing with Carson Beckett.

He caught Carson just as Carson was about to seat himself on the bed opposite. Carson paused and stared over at Lorne. "Would it matter if I am?" he asked.

"No, I'd just wondered."

"Wondered?" Carson went ahead and sat down.

"You and Cadman didn't last long, and McKay did kiss you," Lorne's words stopped. He waved a hand as if that finished the sentence.

"What--you think being attracted to other men is catching?"

"Hey, I didn't mean to insult you."

"I'm not insulted, lad, not by any means. My best friends are gay, just in case you haven't noticed--and it was Laura in control of Rodney's body who kissed me. Daft woman, expected me to run with her every evening like I was a bloody track star instead of a medical doctor."

Lorne stared at him.

Carson heaved a sigh. "Besides we're going to have to get past labels here if we're going to survive as a people. You'd better learn that now."

"You're talking about the ten men to every woman thing."

"A good number of our men are going to have to become more flexible over preconceptions of sexual attraction and love or they're going to be spending a great deal of time alone here--" Carson frowned "--or worse."

"With the worse being anarchy, I'm betting," Lorne supplied, surprising Carson, "rape, both of women and men who might be considered the more vulnerable among us, murder, civil war even in this small a population, us managing to destroy ourselves."

Carson stared at him for a long moment, then nodded. He'd not wanted to spell it out, not to Elizabeth, not to Colonel Caldwell, not to Dr. Lam, not even to himself. To spell it out had seemed to make it all the more real a possibility, especially considering what happened to Rodney and Sheppard today when they'd been outed. He sighed.

"It will take years, even under a time dilation field, to get the pre-humans to our level of society, even once they are genetically compatible with us," Carson said. "I'm afraid too many of our men are not going to be willing to wait just in the hope of finding a wife among the new people, and polyandry, our women taking more than one husband, is not likely to work either. Men from our modern society would not take kindly to the idea of sharing a wife."

"So encouraging gay marriage is the answer," Lorne said, looking as if he were thinking over things.

"What's ‘gay' about marriage?" Carson asked. "Marriage is marriage, two people coming together to build a life and a family, and maybe to have children together."

"A life and two-person family, anyway--there wouldn't be children from two men."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Carson said, with a smile.

Both Lorne's eyebrows raised.

"I have this idea, a way of combining the DNA of two male parents. It's only theoretical, mind you, but I think it would work, and I believe we can construct a freestanding artificial womb, as well."

Lorne was obviously intrigued. "How would you get the DNA from two male parents to combine?--would you use sperm to make sure you had only 23 chromosomes from each parent?"

Carson stared at him, surprised. "You're interested in genetics?"

"Just because I'm military doesn't mean I'm stupid," Lorne said.

And Carson had to smile.

~~~

  


  
  
_Septem_   
  


Lindsey Novak had never felt so ill-at-ease in all her life. She sat on the Ancient's idea of a chair in the quarters she had finally managed to find for the night, hiccupping as she tried to look anywhere other than at Dr. Kavanagh where he sat in her chair's twin in the opposite corner of the room.

They had apparently been forgotten, the both of them, when personnel quarters had been assigned, and by the time they'd gotten to this building after studiously trying to avoid one another for over an hour--somehow inadvertently managing to run into each other over and over again during that time--they had found themselves the odd man and the odd woman out. All the other quarters had been filled by the time they started checking. Every other person had someone to share with. They were literally the odd man and the odd woman of their number.

And here they were together.

Dr. Kavanagh had managed to find these quarters empty at the end of a short hallway, the only empty quarters they could find throughout the two floors approved for personnel quarters by Colonel Caldwell and Dr. Weir. The rooms Colonel Caldwell was sharing with Colonel Mitchell opened off this same hallway, as did those shared by Dr. Weir and Teyla. In fact, now that Lindsey thought about it, everyone who had been in on Dr. McKay's epiphany about the identity of the Altera that afternoon had quarters opening off this same hall--not only Caldwell and Mitchell, and Weir and Teyla, but Dr. McKay and Colonel Sheppard, Doctors Zelenka and Jackson, Teal'c and Ronon, Colonel Carter and Dr. Lam, and Major Lorne and Dr. Beckett. Lindsey had seen their names scribbled on a list thumbtacked to the wall at the end of this hall, which was how Dr. Kavanagh had realized this room was free, for this room had no names entered beside it.

The two of them would spend the night here, for there was no place else for either of them to go. Dr. Kavanagh had said he would sleep on one of the Ancient sofa-like things in this room, and that Lindsey could have the bedroom alone with its twin beds, although she could not imagine going to bed with Dr. Kavanagh here in this next room--she couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in the infirmary earlier, and, before that, in the lecture hall. Men made her nervous, which is why she spent so much of her time alone. It was impossible to date, anyway, when you hiccupped your way through every moment you spent alone with a man.

Just like she was hiccupping now, over and over again, even as lightning flashed lighting the colored windows that lead out onto the balcony repetitively. Even if Dr. Kavanagh were interested in her--and she still couldn't believe that he might be, not when he had hardly spoken to her throughout most of the afternoon, not since he had said she looked ‘fine just exactly as she is' and had done his best to completely avoid her ever since--he certainly did not act as if he were interested. Colonel Sheppard had asked him if he were attracted to her, and, now that she thought about it, Lindsey did realize that she and Dr. Kavanagh had spent virtually every waking moment together since they had been on this planet, so much so that she had actually begun to enjoy his company in spite of how negative he always seemed to be--but this, tonight, felt like some horrid joke, stranding her alone for a night with a man, only for her to spend the time hiccupping and him sitting like a statue in the corner, hardly moving even when bolts of lightning struck the ground just outside this building over and over again.

Lindsey watched the light flash through the stained glass of the balcony doors, wondering if this would be their last night on this planet, if the question as to whether they were the Ancients would be answered right here, in whether this world destroyed itself in the midst of the fury of the storm outside.

"And I didn't want to die before I ever made love," she said, very quietly, to herself, then felt the horror wash through her as she realized she had spoken the words aloud. She turned her eyes to Dr. Kavanagh--he was staring at her, an odd expression on his face even as the lightning flashing through the stained glass again reflected flashes of color off his eyeglasses--then he was standing up to cross the room toward her.

She got to her feet and backed away--but he didn't stop. He followed her still until she backed into the wall and he was standing so close she could feel the heat of his body against her. He was looking at her now, his eyes moving over hers, and both hands came up to cup her face between them. Lightning struck the ground outside, hard enough this time to shake the stained glass in its frame--but Lindsey could only stare up at him, hiccupping quietly, just before he lowered his lips to hers and stole her breath away. Her knees went weak, and she brought her hands up to cling at his shoulders--oh God, no one had ever kissed her like that, and the stone floor was vibrating beneath them though she did not know if it was from the repeated lightning strikes into the ground outside the building or the beating of her own heart.

Lindsey was not certain for a moment if she could even breathe when the kiss ended--he smiled down at her, the smile completely transforming his face, doing away with the straight-laced, always-negative Dr. Kavanagh and replacing him with this good-looking man with a smile that went right through her.

She stared up at him for the longest time. "You should do that more often," she said, reminding herself to breathe at last as she stared up at him, thoroughly entranced.

"What--kiss you?" The smile only deepened.

"No--I mean--yes--yes--but smile like that, too." She couldn't quit staring up at him. Her hands were on his chest now, between them, and he was holding her. Then he slid his hands up instead to pull the pins from her bun and loosen her hair, running his fingers through it.

"You could give me a reason to smile," he said.

"What?"

He glanced toward the bedroom door, then back down at her again with meaning.

"Oh--Oh!" she said, thoroughly flabbergasted at the idea.

But she did not object one bit when he took her hand and squeezed it briefly before leading her to the other room.

~~~

  


  
  
_Octo_   
  


John loved doing this, loved giving pleasure to Rodney.

He took Rodney to the back of his throat again, humming with satisfaction at the sound Rodney made, Rodney's hips lifting from the mattress even as John knew he tried to resist the need to thrust. Rodney might tease John about his "oral fixation," but John loved doing this, loved how he could make Rodney react, how Rodney would give himself fully to the pleasure. As much as John loved the full act of lovemaking--penetrative sex as Rodney sometimes called it--there was something about this that John really loved, the sheer giving of pleasure when your own pleasure wasn't at stake, of making Rodney react to every thought, as if they were truly one. The only other time he had experienced anything like it had been the few minutes he had spent flying Atlantis, when his every thought then had made the city respond to him, when John and Atlantis had seemed almost one--doing this for Rodney was like that.

Rodney's fingers were in John's hair, Rodney's head thrown back, his eyes closed even as John took him deep again. Lightning flashed outside, lighting the room in colored stutters of light over and over again through the stained glass of the balcony doors, but there was silence in this room but for the sounds of pleasure between them. John had seen to that, having thought ‘quiet' to those balcony doors to hear them seal with Ancient efficiency, thanking God for his ATA gene that made this city respond to him even more readily than had Atlantis.

The storm had not even been that bad at that time, but bad enough to be distracting to the things that were meant for these rooms--making love, being close to Rodney, and, before that, hearing Rodney play at last. There was a baby grand piano in the next room, taking up a significant amount of the floor space, one of only two pianos they had found throughout the city, which is why John had insisted on these quarters for the two of them. Rodney had fussed that the workstations and seating arrangements in the next room had been crowded together to make space--but he had been pleased. John had seen it on his face, and the peace there as well when Rodney's hands first touched the keys, a quietness in Rodney McKay that John had never seen there before.

Rodney had closed his eyes as he played, hesitating only a moment when he first touched the beautiful instrument, going somewhere inside himself that John understood, because he was a musician as well, though not with the skill and feeling that he had seen tonight in Rodney. There had been a keyboard in the corner of Rodney's quarters on Atlantis, one he had had shipped aboard the Daedalus, but it could have been nothing like this, and even that John had never been able to get Rodney to play when he was there. Rodney's music had been for him alone, until tonight, for all too many years.

Rodney had wanted to be a concert pianist as a child, a dream ripped from his hands when he had been no more than twelve years old, by a teacher probably fed up with dealing with the pain-in- the-ass Rodney had likely been even back then--and John wished more than anything else that he could find that teacher right now and beat him to within an inch of his life for hurting the child Rodney had been then.

Rodney's fingers tightened in his hair now. "Don't make me come, John. Please, don't make me come," Rodney said, breathing heavily as he looked down at John, his face, neck and shoulders flushed. "I want to come in you--please."

John withdrew Rodney's penis from his mouth, licked the exposed tip once from where the foreskin had pulled back, then kissed it before moving up in bed to capture Rodney's mouth with his. Lightning seemed to be flashing continuously outside now, stuttering in constant flashes of color through the balcony doors, so much so that the room seemed eerily lit by fireworks even in that absence of sound. John ended the kiss and looked toward the balcony doors, wondered if it were possible, then thought ‘opaque,' and the stained glass that was obviously not stained glass obligingly became thoroughly opaque.

John then smiled down at Rodney. "That's better," he said, then kissed him again, snaking a hand down between them to stroke Rodney. Then he asked, "So---mmmm--" as he sucked a moment at Rodney's lower lip, "ready to take me?"

Rodney looked up at him with surprise. "I thought--I've already come once today. Don't you want to take me first?"

"You take me, then you're going to have to make an honest man of me before you get me inside of you."

"‘An honest man'?" Rodney repeated, obviously not thinking clearly. All his blood was occupied elsewhere, after all.

John held up his left hand and waggled his wedding ring finger back and forth. "You're going to have to put a ring on this finger."

"You'd really--" Rodney started, then seemed to change directions "--you'd marry me if we could?"

"We can, Rodney. You heard Weir."

"Then you will?"

"Is that a proposal, Dr. McKay?"

A split second's silence even as Rodney's hips moved restlessly to the movement of John's hand on his penis. "Yes--will you?"

"Yes, I will--Dr. Rodney Sheppard-McKay," John grinned at him.

Rodney gave him a sour look. "Colonel John McKay-Sheppard."

John had to laugh, especially as a squeeze of just the right pressure made Rodney groan with need.

"You are **so** not making me agree to anything about any name with my dick in your hand," Rodney said, breathing heavily as he tried to roll John over, but John wasn't budging.

"Afraid whatever you say can and will be--oh--" John said, his thought completely derailed as the sneaky bastard somehow managed to reach down and slide a finger up inside John's already well-prepared passage. They had taken care of that for each other when they had first gotten in bed.

Rodney smirked and John allowed himself to be rolled over easily until Rodney was on top of him. Rodney was in charge now, pressing John's knees up and apart, Rodney slicking himself up as John reached down to stroke himself, getting his hand slapped away gently as Rodney told him he had "plans for that"--then Rodney was slowly sinking into him, the heat and the fullness something John had missed so much over recent weeks.

Rodney paused after he was fully inside, his balls against John's ass, allowing John to relax. "I love you," Rodney said, very softly, meeting his eyes.

This was the moment John always waited for. "I love you, too," reaching up to touch Rodney's face, seeing the love there, the caring, the need. John had never done this with another man, although he had felt an attraction toward men as well as women for most of his life, an attraction he had not pursued because of his military career. He'd had sex with women before Rodney, and had received oral sex from a guy once back in his college years; he'd even tried to return the favor back then without much success, that having been the limit of his experience with other men--but he had never thought about giving in to this until he'd fallen in love with Rodney.

Rodney began to move slowly, whispering, "I love you," kissing him again. Worley and others like him might condemn what the two of them were doing, but they could never understand--this was love, love unlike anything John had ever dreamed possible, love beyond anything Worley or someone like him could ever believe. Rodney was part of him. John was part of Rodney, and, like that quote John had seen on the conference room wall today where Rodney had pieced together the truth of their being the Altera, John would happily give up his life if he could somehow be blended into Rodney, if they could live even as one soul in the afterlife, whatever that might be.

Rodney was jolting him hard beneath him now, nearing his release, and it felt so good. "Come in me," John whispered, and that was all it took. Rodney was coming, the pleasure washing across his face, and John could feel the heat fill him. Rodney collapsed in John's arms, breathing heavily, covered with sweat, gently separating their bodies so they could roll onto their sides.

Rodney looked drowsy within seconds, though he could not quit touching John. John smiled at him, having big plans for Dr. McKay before he got any sleep tonight.

As soon as Rodney's breathing returned to some semblance of normalcy, John asked him. "Now, what about those wedding rings?"

Rodney looked at him, the blue eyes content. "Um?" the genius asked, causing John to grin. John was pretty certain that had been good enough to short-circuit the genius's brain for at least a while.

"Wedding rings? As in ‘make an honest man out of me?'" John asked, waggling his wedding ring finger again.

Rodney gave him a strange look. "You don't--want to do it for real? I mean, before Elizabeth, maybe with our friends there?"

"Yes, I want to do it for real, before Elizabeth and with all our friends there, and we can do that tomorrow morning--but tonight I want to put a ring on your finger and I want you to put one on mine. I want us to agree to spend our lives together, longer if we can manage it, ‘forever' like you had engraved in the rings, and I want it to start right now."

"You saw what was engraved inside of them." Rodney propped up on an elbow to look at him.

"Didn't you mean it?"

"Yes, I meant it. I do mean it."

"So do I," John said, with a smile. "Two people joining their lives really starts here," he continued, touching first Rodney's chest over his heart, and then his own. "We don't have to have official okay or acceptance for that to be, and fuck every government in every world throughout time that wouldn't let two people marry who are in love just because they're the same sex--I love you. I want to spend my life with you. I want to spend forever with you. I want to be your husband--and I want to bury myself in you and never come out and I'm not going to do it until we exchange rings. I'm desperate here, Dr. McKay," he said, pressing his erection against Rodney. "Can't we get this going because I'm really looking forward to consummating this marriage."

Which made Rodney laugh.

"Why don't I get the rings, if they're still in your pack, and you--" John began, but Rodney interrupted him.

"You're going to keep that ass in this bed and what I left in you exactly where I left it," Rodney said, which did not surprise John at all. That was just the way they were. "I'm going to clean up, then I'll get the rings."

Rodney disappeared into the Ancient's version of a bathroom, which was not all that different in functionality from the ones they'd known on Earth, even if everything did look quite different. John could hear the water cut on in the shower and he reached down to stroke himself, thinking of--

"Hands off! That's mine!" Rodney ordered from the bathroom over the sound of the water, even though John knew damned well Rodney couldn't see him from where he was--he just knew. He always knew.

John grinned to himself and stretched out onto his back--he was happy. They were at the far side of the universe, fifty million years in the past, with Evil incarnate in their midst, and the lightning storm from hell outside, and he was happy. That irritating, arrogant, brilliant, never- boring, always-fascinating son-of-a-bitch in the bathroom was all he needed.

He ran his fingertips lightly over his chest, brushing one over a nipple as he heard the water shut off in the other room. Rodney came back out a few minutes later, damp, sexy, still naked, already getting hard again--the man was the horniest human being John Sheppard had ever met in his life.

Rodney had a washcloth in each hand. He came to kneel on the bed and bent over John to kiss him, then proceeded to take both John's hands, to wash them first with a warm, soapy cloth, then to rinse them with the second. John had no idea why that was so sexy, but it was, and even more so when Rodney bent to lick his way up first one palm, then the other before drawing one of John's fingers into his mouth to suck on it. John was breathing heavily by the time he was finished.

"I'll get the rings," Rodney said after he removed John's finger from his mouth.

"What?" John asked, unable to think of anything but Rodney's mouth in that moment.

Rodney smirked and got up from the bed to go get his pack. He dug the ring case out and started back to the bed, stopping half-way there as a sudden panicked look came across his face. "What if yours doesn't fit?" he said. "We can't get it sized here. What if--"

"It will fit, Rodney."

"Did--did you try it on? Are you sure?"

"No, I didn't try it on, but it will fit."

"How do you know?" he asked, slowly closing the distance to the bed.

John reached to draw him down on the mattress. "Because it will."

Rodney lay there beside him just staring at him for a moment until John took the ring case from his fingers and opened it. He waited for Rodney to take John's ring from it, John taking the other and setting the case aside. He then took Rodney's left hand and slid the wedding band on his finger and looked into his eyes. John started to speak, but Rodney wasn't finished yet.

"Seems like we ought not be naked when we do this," Rodney said, frowning at him.

"Rodney, do you want to marry me, or not?"

"You know I do."

"Then?"

Rodney opened his mouth to argue some more. John could see it coming.

"Rodney, stop thinking. Stop analyzing, and marry me."

"Okay," Rodney said simply, causing John to smile. John kissed him quickly, then looked at the ring he still held on Rodney's finger before returning his eyes to Rodney's again.

"I love you," John told him. "You're--" then he smiled, "the other half of me, the better half of me. I want to spend my life with you, my forever with you."

"Wow," Rodney said, and John laughed.

Rodney just stared at John a long moment, until John reminded him of what he was supposed to be doing by waggling his wedding ring finger at him again.

"Oh, yeah," Rodney said, fumbling and almost dropping John's ring onto the mattress in the small space between them as he tried to take John's hand and get it onto his finger--then he looked up at John, sliding the ring half-way on. "I--I love you so much. When I first met you-- you know, you were the kind of person who always irritated the hell out of me. You were so good-looking and cool and sexy--and you had the gene that I didn't have back then."

John could only stare at him--this was not at all what he had expected. He quirked an eyebrow at Rodney.

"I don't know how we ever became friends. I mean, we didn't seem to have anything in common. You're a soldier and I'm a scientist--"

John really hoped this was going somewhere. He quirked the other eyebrow at Rodney.

"But--God--you're everything I am and everything I'm not," Rodney said, his eyes locked with John's, and John felt the words go right through him and bring a lump to his throat. "You're what it takes to make me whole. I love you and I want to be with you forever--even longer if I can."

The wedding ring was on John's finger and he did not even know when Rodney had slid it home- -then they were kissing.

When John eased himself into Rodney some time later, he knew they were complete.

~~~

  


  
Adria   


The air was alive, crawling across Vala's skin until she thought she would scream--anything to make it stop. Anything.

Massive bolts of lightning struck the ground again and again outside the building--she could hear it through the open balcony doorway, could feel it, could almost taste it in the air, the flavor of charred wood and burned earth.

Electricity spidered continuously across clouds colored red from lightning-kindled fires in the park areas. Vala stared out at them, and at Adria who stood on the balcony even in the midst of the driving rain, water running from the ends of her hair and soaking through the thin shift she was clothed in--Vala was afraid for her, and afraid of her as well, for she knew Adria was doing this.

She knew--

Even as lightning began to strike repetitively in the same spot outside almost as if it were the temper tantrum of a god.

Vala screamed, for she could take it no more, her hands clamped now over her ears, her eyes shut tight. "Stop it! Stop it!"

And silence fell, so complete it was deafening, filling the room until there seemed no space left for anything else.

Vala opened her eyes to find Adria entering the room through the balcony doorway, watched as from one step to the next the girl's hair dried and her shift became new, until her feet whispering dry against the stone floor became the loudest sound around them.

Adria came to stand before her, the child's eyes moving over Vala's face.

"Were you afraid, Mother?" the girl asked, her head tilted to one side.

Vala opened her mouth to speak, but Adria spoke again first.

"Will you tell me?" the girl asked. "What is it like to fear?"


	15. Eternity's Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A madman dressed in bedsheets and a confrontation with the homophobes only begins John and Rodney's wedding day on Altera

Sixteen people met in the park area before the building the next morning, almost as if it had been prearranged, although Elizabeth knew that it had not.

She stood beneath a sky so bright blue it was as if the storm had never existed, Colonel Caldwell beside her--Stephen, for they had crossed a bridge between them in the midst of the storm that did away with titles forever. He had walked her here from the quarters she had shared with Teyla, but the others had come on their own--Teyla and Ronon from an early morning run, Rodney and John from their own quarters, Carson and Major Lorne, Radek and Daniel, Mitchell and Dr. Lam, Carter and Teal'c, Doctors Kavanagh and Novak. They had come to look at a pit blasted into the earth by repeated lightning strikes the night before, the grass around it burned, as were the trees nearby.

It was Colonel Mitchell who said the exact thing that passed through Elizabeth's mind. "I didn't think lightning ever struck in the same place twice."

"Oh, please," Rodney said, looking suddenly irritated. "In actuality, lightning has a tendency to- -"

But Radek interrupted him. "Did you really think that was normal storm last night?" he asked, staring over at Mitchell.

Mitchell opened his mouth to respond, but John spoke first.

"It was her," he said, unnecessarily, for they all knew.

Others were in the park area as well, what looked to be the majority of their small population, looking at damage from other strikes, or perhaps celebrating the fact that they had made it through the night. Sergeant Hopkins was among them. Elizabeth heard his voice only a moment before she saw him.

" _‘And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a flame of fire...'_ " Hopkins was saying, walking very slowly as he stared up at the sky, clothed still in what appeared to be the same set of peach-colored sheets he had been wearing the day before. People were stopping to stare at him.

Elizabeth exchanged a look with Caldwell.

" _‘...and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed. And...God called unto him...and said, Moses, Moses...Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.'_ "

"Colonel," Elizabeth said, reaching out to place a hand on Stephen's arm--something was not right here, she could feel it.

" _‘And the Lord said, I have...seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry...And I am come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians...And I will stretch out my hand, and smite Egypt with all my wonders...'_ "

Hopkins stopped where he was, raising both hands over his head now, reaching toward the cloudless sky above.

" _‘For when unrighteous men thought to oppress the holy nation; they being shut up in their houses, the prisoners of darkness, and fettered with the bonds of a long night, lay exiled from the eternal providence....Only there appeared unto them a fire kindled of itself, very dreadful: for being much terrified, they thought the things which they saw to be worse than the sight they saw not....'_ "

"He just went from Exodus to the Wisdom of Solomon," Daniel muttered, staring at the man.

"Is it just me, or is he starting to sound like one of the priors?" Mitchell asked, leaning toward Daniel and speaking quietly.

Everyone in their small, and what seemed now suddenly very vulnerable, population was standing around listening to the man as if he were the morning's innocent entertainment--a madman, dressed in bedsheets, quoting scriptures to the sky.

But there was something more. Elizabeth could feel it.

"Stop him," she said, digging her fingers into Stephen's arm, although she could not tear her eyes from Hopkins, and from what she could see beginning there between the man's upraised hands--a shimmer of heat, like those she had often seen above asphalt roads on a hot summer day.

And it was growing.

Apparently Stephen saw it as well, even as Elizabeth caught sight of who stood now at a distance beyond Hopkins--Adria, accompanied by Vala, and the half-dozen armed men who had been assigned to keep watch over the girl.

Adria's eyes were fixed on Hopkins.

Stephen was already in motion. "Sheppard, Mitchell, I need both your teams," he barked. John's team was at his one side in an instant, SG-1 at the other. They had gone no more than five feet before someone stepped out from behind one of the charred trees nearby, directly into Rodney's path.

Rodney ran into him before he could stop himself.

"Goddam faggot touched me," Sergeant Elberg spat, shoving Rodney hard enough to send him staggering back a few steps.

"What are you--ten years old?" Rodney demanded before he could stop himself.

John shot him a look that Elizabeth could clearly see was meant to shut him up. Rodney must have gotten the message, for he fell silent immediately, staring at the man.

Major Worley moved out from behind the tree and to Elberg's side only a moment later, joined within seconds by Aames, Petrie, and McGahn, the five together again who had been at the heart of the problem the day before. Elberg might have been the one to step into Rodney's path, but Elizabeth had no doubt that Worley had been behind it. It was clear that he was the leader of this little knot of blatant homophobes.

It was also clear they would be having no end of trouble out of them.

The little confrontation had drawn the attention of Hopkins. He had dropped both arms and was now staring at the two men. Whatever had been forming between his upraised hands was gone.

Worley's eyes moved from Caldwell, toward Hopkins, then back again. "You weren't planning on interfering with the man's religious freedom, were you Colonel?" he asked, an odd smile twisting his face. "Many of us still believe in the word of God here--" then his eyes moved to John and Rodney "--about all things."

Hopkins Bible quoting from the day before echoed in Elizabeth's mind, " _‘If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death...'_ "

A cold shiver ran up her spine and she hugged her arms for warmth.

She moved forward to take her place at Stephen's side. "Colonel, we need to get the mission underway to treat the pre-humans this morning."

Worley turned his eyes to her, his smile deepening--then his gaze left her face and traveled down her body. Elizabeth could feel the look raking over her just as surely as she could see it.

Caldwell stiffened beside her, taking a half-step forward toward the man before she reached out to place a hand on his arm, digging her fingers into his skin through the fabric of his uniform to bring him to a halt.

"Colonel, we need to get started on this mission," she said, raising her voice slightly. She had never needed anyone to fight her battles for her, and was not about to start needing anyone to do so now.

Besides, she had dealt with enough sexist jerks in her life to know to never show them weakness.

She met Worley's eyes for a long moment, thoroughly wishing the man were anywhere other than on this planet at this particular point in time.

He returned his eyes to Stephen at last. "Sounds like she's got a job for you, Colonel," he said, then came to attention and snapped off a perfect salute to Stephen in direct contradiction to the look of pure insolence that remained in his eyes.

A moment later as they turned away, Elizabeth heard the man mutter, "Pussywhipped," behind them.

~~~

John met Rodney's eyes as they entered the lecture hall with the others a few minutes later--there was a look of disappointment on Rodney's face, as well as absolute certainty that they would never be able to do what they had planned for this morning, not after what had just happened in the park area.

But John Sheppard was not about to let anything stand in the way of what he knew was most important in his world.

He reached to take hold of Elizabeth's elbow as she started to precede them in the direction of the connecting hallway to the infirmary, stopping her, and the others along with her.

"Listen, Elizabeth, I know we need to get this mission underway, but there's something we need to do first," he said as she turned to look at him. "It won't take long." He turned his eyes to Rodney.

"Um--" Rodney looked nervous for a moment, then looked over at Elizabeth. "We'd like you to marry us," he said at last, then seemed to double-think how that had sounded. "I mean--us--" he motioned a finger between him and John, "to each other, not to--" then he pointed the finger at her.

She burst out laughing. "I get it," she said, still smiling, "and I'd love to marry you--to each other," she clarified.

"If you'd--officiate--and whatnot," Rodney added, looking decidedly nervous. He was wringing his hands together before him, until John reached over and placed a hand atop them to stop the wringing, bringing Rodney's eyes to him. John smiled, and Rodney seemed to try to make himself relax. John returned his eyes to Elizabeth.

"It won't take long. We've already exchanged our vows to each other in private, and our wedding rings," he said, raising his hand to show her the gold band now on his wedding ring finger. Rodney did likewise beside him, then returned to wringing his hands again until John reached across to rest his hand atop them once more. "We'd just like you to do the ‘do you John' and ‘do you Rodney' part here before everyone to make it official."

"I'd love to," she said with a smile.

"And no ‘'till death do you part,'" Rodney said in a hurry, as if John would forget.

John smiled over at him. "We promised each other ‘forever,' so no ‘'till death do you part,'" he clarified, then turned his eyes back to Elizabeth again. "Just make it ‘from this day forward.' We can both live with that."

They had, in fact, discussed the wording at length that morning.

She nodded. "So--where would you like to do this?"

He and Rodney had agreed easily on where they wanted the wedding to take place, in the conference room they had been in the day before, the one that had that quote on the wall: _And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself..._ It just seemed very fitting.

Besides, John wanted to do this completely shut away from Worley and the homophobes and their idea of the way this new world should be, which was far too much like the old. He wanted just these fourteen people there with them, these people who had come together again and again since they had been here on Altera.

It seemed right to have them witness the first marriage that would take place on this world.

They made their way into the room and Rodney got Elizabeth to stand before the English version of the quotation. John looked over at Teyla and Ronon as Rodney returned to his side. "I was hoping the two of you would stand up with me?"

"We would be delighted," Teyla said, smiling and inclining her head slightly.

Ronon leaned over and whispered to her in his normal growling undertone--the one that was loud enough to carry throughout a reasonably sized room. "That doesn't mean we have to watch them have sex, does it?"

"No! That doesn't mean you watch us have sex!" Rodney snapped, his face turning red in an instant.

John grinned and put an arm around Rodney to give him a hug, then turned his eyes to Ronon again. "It's an Earth custom to have your best friends stand with you when you get married," he said.

He then looked at Rodney and angled his chin toward where Radek and Carson stood at either side of Dr. Jackson. Rodney was absolutely no good at asking anyone to do anything for him. Rodney was an ‘I demand it if I want it' sort of person, but this was one instance where he was going to have to ask to get what he wanted.

Rodney looked over at the two men. "I--uh--" he started, then seemed to be unable to come up with the words.

Radek and Carson exchanged a look of understanding around Daniel Jackson.

"I would be honored to stand with you, Rodney," Radek said, smiling at Rodney now.

"Aye, as would I," Carson said, smiling as well.

They took their places before Elizabeth, facing the quote on the wall, and he and Rodney turned to each other to join both hands. Elizabeth smiled at them and began.

"We are gathered here today to witness the joining of two lives into one," Elizabeth said with a smile, having to do this from memory--then John turned his eyes to Rodney again and was completely lost, as he had been from the day, more than two years ago now, when Rodney had walked into that cloud of energy-consuming darkness to save everyone on Atlantis. That had taken bravery, and a strength of character, even amid the fear, that John had never seen in anyone before--that had been his first peek inside of Dr. Rodney McKay, to the man behind the snark, beneath the attitude and ego and well-earned arrogance. He was a good man, a good person, one of the best human beings John had ever known, even if he also, admittedly, could be one of the most annoying--but John loved him. He loved him as he had never thought it was possible to love anyone, and was loved just as fully in return.

"Do you John--"

And, yes, he did. He always would. They would not speak their personal vows here today--those words had been meant for each other alone, last night, in those moments when their lives had really become one.

"Do you Rodney--"

And Rodney smiled, that funny little crooked smile that always went right through John.

 _Forever..._ John thought, looking into blue eyes that promised the same.

Forever...

~~~

When they kissed at the end of the vows everyone broke into spontaneous applause. John had to laugh, bumping his nose against Rodney's as he gave him a hug--they were married, perhaps the first marriage to take place between human beings in this timeline, considering they were living fifty-plus million years in the past before their own beginnings.

That was a truly startling concept when he thought about it.

"We ought to have a marriage certificate to commemorate this," he told Rodney after giving him another kiss.

Rodney looked thoroughly happy as his hands slid down to John's waist beneath his uniform jacket. "Don't worry, I won't let you forget who you marrie--" But a familiar sound cut into what Rodney was saying, the same sound made by a lifesigns detector ejecting from its wall niche inside a jumper.

They both turned, keeping one arm around each other, in time to see something lowering from the bottom of what had looked like nothing but a rectangular light fixture set into the wall. Whatever it was came free and started to fall, and Carson, who was standing nearby at Rodney's far side, caught it before it could hit the floor.

"It's a book," he said almost immediately, holding it up so they could all see. It was perfectly square, about an inch thick, and looked as if it were bound in aged brown leather.

Daniel Jackson took it from him and turned it over in his hands. There was something stamped deeply into the cover, either an eight or an infinity symbol, according to how the book was turned.

Daniel opened it as Radek moved up next to him. John could see there were two lines of Ancient writing on the thick cream-colored paper of the flyleaf.

" _Per aeternitatem iuncti_ ," Daniel read. " _Amore iuncti_."

A very strange look came over Elizabeth's face. "‘Together for eternity,'" she translated, then turned her eyes to John and Rodney. "‘Joined in love.'"

John looked at his new spouse just as Daniel turned the page.

" _Svatý materský ze Buh_ ," Radek breathed almost immediately, bringing everyone's attention to him. He was staring down at the book in Daniel's hands.

"What is it?" John and Rodney asked together. Rodney started to step forward to see for himself, but John refused to release him.

Radek only lifted his eyes to look at the two of them.

"What is today's date?" Daniel asked, which seemed to have absolutely nothing to do with anything. "What would it have been if we were still in our own time and on Earth?" He looked over at Radek, but it was Mitchell who answered first.

"August the 8th."

"And it's our sixteenth day here," Daniel said, still staring at Radek.

"Yes," Radek said, nodding as he returned the stare.

Carson had moved to Daniel's other side. "Oh, my," he said after a moment, now looking at the book as well.

John was going to be ready to hit something in a moment if someone didn't tell them what the hell was going on.

"What is it?" he and Rodney demanded in exactly the same breath again.

Daniel, Radek, and Carson all three lifted their eyes to stare at them at once--then Daniel simply handed the open book over to John.

John looked down at it and started to read, hearing Rodney's quiet, "This is impossible," beside him at the same instant those same words passed through his mind.

" _‘August 8, 2006--Altera 16--'_ " he read aloud. " _‘John Patrick Sheppard and Rodney Ingram McKay were joined in Marriage. Witnesses were...'_ " and fourteen names were listed below, of the fourteen people in the room with them.

The entry looked as if it were in John's handwriting, something he knew beyond doubt that he'd never written.

John turned the page, then stared at it for a for a moment before handing the book over to Elizabeth.

She looked down at it, then snapped it shut without saying another word.


	16. One Plus One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't escape destiny, especially on Altera, although Elizabeth Weir certainly tries

Elizabeth had only just made it into her quarters late that afternoon when a tap came at the door.

She knew who it would be before she went to answer it.

"Colonel Caldwell," she said, staring up at him a moment later as she stood in her now-open doorway.

"Stephen," he supplied, just as he had done innumerable times during the day when the two of them had been alone, only for her to use his title and last name.

Elizabeth sighed. "It's been a long day."

"Can I come in?" his eyes moved over her face.

"Teyla isn't here," she said, knowing that wasn't an answer to his question. She just couldn't deal with this now, not after--

"I know," he said. "I saw her in the park sparring with Ronon."

Elizabeth nodded.

"Can I come in?" he asked again.

She stepped back and motioned him inside with the book she still held in her hand, that she had held on to all day long through the curious stares and questions that had come from every one of them who had not seen that second page. She had sworn John and Rodney to silence. No one else had seen what they had seen, and she intended to keep it that way, just as she intended to never turn another page of that book herself, to lock it away or destroy it forever.

She just feared the damned thing would reappear somewhere no matter what she did. This place and everything here did seem to have a mind of its own.

She signaled the door shut behind them and turned to look at him. "Did you want something, Colonel?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest, holding the book to her. "It's been a long day, and--"

"Our names are listed on the second page in that book, aren't they?" he asked, staring at her. " _‘...joined in Marriage,'_ " he quoted.

She could only stare at him with her mouth open, absolutely unprepared to deal with something like this, or with him.

She managed to rein in her wildly racing thoughts only with considerable effort.

"I don't know what--" she began.

"What date did it show?"

"Colonel--"

"Stephen--" he supplied yet again, closing the distance between them. When he reached up and touched her face she pulled away and crossed the room to stand staring at a painting of lovers embracing, her back turned to him.

"I think you should leave," she said, knowing he would not. It felt as if her life were careening out of control with nothing she could do to stop it.

He closed the distance between them again, coming to stand right behind her, his hands closing over her shoulders, his body so close now that she could feel the heat of him against her, strong, solid, making her think of how empty her bed had been now for more than the past two years.

"Elizabeth," he said, very softly, his lips next to her ear--a kiss pressed there. She gave a sharp little intake of breath, his hands sliding down her arms now, making her shiver with wanting his hands to continue, for him to keep touching her--it had been far too long.

"Colonel--" she could hear the pleading sound in her own voice, both that he stay and that he go, all at the same time.

"Our names are listed together," he said softly, against her ear once again. "‘Joined in love.' ‘Together for eternity,'" quoting again from memory.

"Yes," she said, unable to stop herself--and they were, written in what she knew damned well had been her own handwriting, although she also knew she had never put those words to paper in her entire life. She tilted her head to one side and he pressed a kiss to her neck almost as if he knew that was what she wanted, right at the pulse-point, sending a shiver down her spine--and she was turning to him, seeking his mouth, her hands going to either side of his face.

The kiss only made it worse, made her want him all the more, and her life was careening out of all control and she no longer wanted it to stop.

Elizabeth would always know she had made the first move, reaching between them to close her fingers over the zipper at his chest.

~~~

"Uh--Teyla--" Ronon said, his hand closing over her elbow the minute they entered her quarters that evening, drawing her up short. He could see the crumpled pile of what looked to be Colonel Caldwell's uniform on the floor, Dr. Weir's shirt, and some funny thing that looked like something Earth women must strap around their chest.

"Yes?" she said, turning to look at him. That's when the low moan came from the next room. A look of concern came across Teyla's face, and Ronon realized suddenly that she hadn't seen the scattered clothes and did not know what was going on.

She pulled free from his hand and made it all the way to the doorway into the bedroom before he caught up with her. For one brief instant they both got a good look into the next room, then Teyla wheeled about, looking horribly embarrassed. They made their way out of the quarters and signaled the door shut behind themselves.

Teyla leaned back against the wall in the hallway. For one brief moment they stared at each other.

Ronon smiled at her at last to try to break the tension. "Caldwell looks good for a man his age."

He didn't know what he expected she would say in return, but it certainly wasn't, "Is it always like that?" she asked, staring up at him.

For a long moment Ronon didn't know how to reply. Then he asked, "You mean, you haven't--"

Teyla moved away from the wall. "My people mate for life, Ronon, and we do not choose a mate until we wish to bear children."

"Oh."

She walked across the hall, hugging her arms as if she were cold. Ronon had never seen her at anything other than her most supremely self-confident--the self-confidence was there still, but this was something more, Teyla letting down her guard.

He followed her as she went to stand before the closed door to the quarters across from her own.

"I've never before seen anyone actually--" her voice trailed away. She didn't look up at him as he came to stand beside her.

"It can be any way you want it to be," Ronon said quietly, looking down at her, answering the question she had asked: _‘Is it always like that?'_

She looked up at him. "You've given your body to both women and men in the past." It wasn't a question.

"Yes," he answered. She already knew. She had heard what he had said the day before.

"My people mate for their entire lives, Ronon," she said again, staring up at him, meeting his eyes with an intensity he had never seen in her before. He was afraid suddenly that she would tell him he was unsuitable for her, that she could not accept a man who had ever been with anyone else. "If I choose you, you will never give your body to anyone else, ever again."

He smiled, his eyes moving over her face. "I can live with that."

They fell silent as Colonel Carter and Teal'c came around the nearby corner. Carter said hello and Teal'c inclined his head in greeting, then the two made their way down the hallway and to Carter's door. Ronon looked down at Teyla again.

"We'd have beautiful children together," he said very quietly, smiling down at her. She smiled as well.

Ronon heard Carter's door slide open, and from the corner of his eye he saw the woman start to step forward. Then heard a surprised sound and lifted his eyes in time to see her step back and hurriedly signal the door shut again.

"That was--um--" Carter said, turning to look up at Teal'c.

"--unexpected," the big man supplied.

Ronon looked down at Teyla then put a hand on her back as they started in that direction. They didn't reach Carter and Teal'c before the door to the room they were standing before opened and Colonel Mitchell and Dr. Lam stepped out. Mitchell was fastening up his shirt and Lam's was on wrong.

"Sorry, Carter--we--ah--" Mitchell began, then seemed to run out of words.

"There's just something about weddings," Lam said, as if that explained everything.

"Then perhaps you should have one of your own," Teal'c answered, raising an eyebrow as he stared at them.

Mitchell and Lam looked at one another.

"I gather I need to find new quarters," Carter said. The woman's face had turned pink, but she looked now as if she were trying to not laugh.

"As do I," Teyla said, speaking up. "Perhaps we might share?" which disappointed Ronon to no end. "The quarters Colonel Mitchell and Colonel Caldwell were sharing should now be free--"

"Caldwell--and Weir!" Mitchell asked, suddenly grinning. "Well, that old dog!" he laughed.

Lam reached over and slapped him hard on the arm, which shut the man up immediately.

~~~

Elizabeth woke before dawn the next morning to the sound of Stephen's breathing, the warmth of his shoulder beneath her cheek.

When she looked up she found him awake already.

"Good morning," he said, smiling.

"Good morning," she said, feeling suddenly awkward.

She started to sit up, pulling the sheet up to cover her breasts--but his hand came up to cup her cheek and he propped up on an elbow to capture her mouth with his, sending a spike of absolute need through her again.

"We can't--" she said several moments later, holding him away with one hand on his chest when the kiss was ended.

"Can't?" he asked, leaning back to look at her. God, he was so...and his body...she'd never imagined...under that uniform...

She took her hand from his chest where it still rested. "We can't do this."

"Why not?"

"We just can't."

She sat up and reached for her robe where it lay across the back of a nearby chair, pulled it on and stood as she knotted it around her waist--he knew why they couldn't do this. They were responsible for everyone here, the two of them--their entire refugee population, trapped here fifty-million years in the past at the dawn of the Ancients and the Ori, the small kernel of people who could spawn both those groups and the beginning of mankind itself, with a scripture-quoting madman in their midst who had appeared poised to pull off an Ori-like "miracle" the day before, homophobes who could decide to challenge Stephen's military leadership, an unstable population mix that could easily devolve into civil war if pushed the wrong way, and Adria planning to do whatever it was she was planning.

They couldn't be thinking of themselves right now.

"Elizabeth--"

She didn't turn to look at him. "I'm sorry, Stephen," she said, "but would you please get dressed and leave?"

"Elizabeth--" she could hear him getting up from the bed. Elizabeth knew she would never be able to stand her ground if he touched her again--she reached to open the stained glass door and stepped out onto the balcony, pulling the door shut after herself.

It wasn't quite dawn yet, but it was comfortably warm outside, even clad in nothing but the thin satin robe. She went to stand at the balcony railing, rubbing her hands over her face for a moment before leaning against the rail with her arms folded across her breasts. God, how could she have allowed this to happen--then it suddenly occurred to her that she had not been using any form of birth control, adding another worry to the mass of those already filling her mind.

"Oh, God, what next?" she wondered aloud, closing her eyes.

"Elizabeth, are you okay?" came Rodney's voice from somewhere to her right.

Elizabeth opened her eyes quickly and turned in that direction, finding him and John curled up together, seated against the outside wall of their quarters there on the balcony, the balcony that opened onto all four rooms on this side of the hallway, a fact she should have thought about before walking out here wearing nothing but her robe.

"Rodney," she said, having no idea what else to say.

They were both barefoot, though dressed in charcoal uniform pants and matching black tee shirts, which could account for why she hadn't noticed them in the darkness when she first had walked out here--well, that and the fact that she had been intent on doing nothing but getting away from Stephen in that moment.

 _...Stephen...oh, God, don't let him walk out here_ \--she thought, starting to move back to the door to her own quarters.

"I didn't mean to disturb you," she said aloud, clenching the robe together at her neck, feeling altogether too exposed in nothing but the flimsy material.

"We were just waiting for the sunrise, first one officially married. Are you okay, Elizabeth?" John asked, rising easily to his feet, pulling Rodney up with him. The two of them seemed unable to break contact with each other, immediately looping an arm around each other's waist. They took a few steps toward her.

"Yes, I'm--"

Then the balcony door to her quarters opened and Stephen walked out wearing nothing but the sheet from her bed wrapped around him, his chest exposed, and Dr. Elizabeth Weir wanted to sink down through the balcony flooring and disappear from all existence even as he gently took hold of her arm with the hand not holding the sheet in place and drew her up against him.

"Elizabeth, don't do this," he said staring down at her in the darkness.

"Stephen--" was all she could think to say--then she simply pointed past him to John and Rodney.

Stephen turned to look at them, still holding her arm.

"Colonel," John said, grinning from ear to ear. He looked just like the proverbial cat who had just swallowed the canary.

"Sheppard," Stephen said, then looked at Rodney. "Dr. McKay."

"Hello," Rodney said, grinning as well, giving him a little wave. "Did you two--have fun last night?"

Elizabeth wanted to shoot all three of them.

"I--" Stephen began, then seemed to run out of words. He looked at Elizabeth as if he thought she would supply him with a few.

"I do hope your intentions are honorable, Colonel," Rodney said, trying to sound severe, grinning all the while.

If she didn't shoot anyone else, she was going to settle for shooting Rodney. Sheppard was at least keeping his mouth shut, even if he was grinning from ear to ear, looking from one of them to the other as if he knew damned well what they'd been doing all night.

"So--I gather the two of you are together now?" Rodney asked, motioning from one to the other of them.

Yes, she was definitely going to shoot him.

"No, we're not--" Elizabeth began, but Stephen interrupted her.

"Yes, we are," he said, staring down at her now as if they were alone there on the balcony.

"We'll talk about this later," she told him.

"You think you can just tell me to get dressed and leave, with no explanation at all?"

"Stephen--"

He was still gently holding to her or she would have walked away from him.

"We can't do this," she said at last, unable to do anything but look up at him now. "We have too many responsibilities. Everyone here, with everything going on--"

"We're stronger together. You've got to feel that. I do."

"Stephen--" God, she wanted to. She wanted to so badly. She was so tired of being alone--but there was too much riding on the two of them. They were the leaders here. They had to put their people above what they might want for themselves. "I can't--" she pulled her arm from his gentle grip until his fingers closed in the air between them.

"You're a fool, Elizabeth--"

The words were spoken so softly. The thought didn't surprise her as much as did the voice speaking them--Rodney, not grinning now when she turned to look at him, but staring at her with a look of sadness on his face that she could read even in the darkness.

"Rodney, this isn't--" she began, intending to tell him that this was none of his business--but John interrupted her first.

"He's right, Elizabeth. You are a fool if that's what you think."

She could only stare at the two of them.

"Sheppard, McKay--" Stephen began, his voice harsh as he turned to look at them again--and she realized with a start of surprise that he was going to defend her, even though the two men were actually speaking up to support his point.

"You're not doing anyone any favors by denying yourselves some happiness," John said.

Elizabeth turned to stare at him and Rodney.

"We're all we've got here, Elizabeth," Rodney said, very softly, "this little core of people to build a world and a life--and frankly I'd rather spend a minute with John than a thousand years alone."

Elizabeth looked up at Stephen as he stepped closer to her again--almost touching, close enough that she could feel the heat of his body through her robe.

"Do you love him, Elizabeth?" Rodney asked, softly.

"Yes," she answered, without even thinking. Her eyes moved over Stephen's face.

"Do you want to be with him, spend your life with him, longer if you can?"

"Yes."

A moment's silence. "Colonel, do you love her?" John asked.

"Yes," Stephen answered, no hesitation at all.

"Do you want to be with her, spend your life with her, longer if you can?"

"Yes, I do," Stephen answered.

"Then, by the power invested in us as the only other married couple on this planet--we now pronounce you husband and wife," John said, surprising the hell out of Elizabeth.

She turned to stare at him, her mouth hanging open, realizing what he and Rodney had been asking the two of them, what they had done.

Then John smiled. "That is--if that's what you both want," he said, giving Rodney an obvious squeeze where he had an arm around him.

Rodney was looking between Elizabeth and Stephen with interest.

Elizabeth looked up at Stephen, who was laughing at what the two men had done to them.

"I--well--" She had no idea what to say.

Stephen smiled down at her. "Mrs. Caldwell?" he asked, "Dr. Weir-Caldwell?"and she couldn't help but laugh. They were standing on her balcony, her in nothing but a satin robe and him wrapped in a bedsheet, and they had just gotten married.

There was no thought within her to contradict him, to say this was not what she intended--it was right, she could feel it, just as surely as she could see the Alteran sun breeching the horizon in this morning's sunrise.

It was not until later that day that she showed Stephen the book with the eternity symbol pressed into its cover, and what was written inside on the page after John and Rodney's wedding: _‘August 9, 2006--daybreak, Altera 17--Elizabeth Augusta Weir and Stephen Edward Caldwell, III were joined in Marriage. Witnesses were John Patrick Sheppard-McKay and Rodney Ingram Sheppard-McKay.'_


	17. Threshold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Radek is attacked, and they must all deal with the aftermath

Life on Altera settled into something at least resembling a routine over the next six months--well, as much of a routine as anyone could expect living in this place.

On this particular day, Radek Zelenka sat in the lab he and Rodney had taken in what had become known as the city's Research Complex, a huge sprawl of buildings stretching away from the central library. It was the afternoon of their 200th day on the planet, and Radek was vehemently cursing his computer screen in Czech.

" _Jsi v hajzlu_ ," he finally said, winding down somewhat, irritated as hell but having no outlet other than swearing at the thing. He would almost think someone was playing a joke on him over recent months, using the Alteran database, but not even Rodney would be stupid enough to mess with Radek's research.

Radek had begun to study ascension, going through all the information in the city's database on the subject--then the material had begun translating itself into other languages all of its own accord. It had started out in Ancient, as he had expected, but shortly thereafter the very material he had read in Ancient the day before presented itself in Czech the next morning--which Radek had not found that strange at all, considering all the other peculiar things that kept presenting themselves around here--but then it had changed to English, then Spanish, then Goa'uld, all in short order.

Radek, Rodney, and Sam Carter had all gone over the computer interface, run diagnostics, and tried everything they could to try to stop the translating, but could find nothing wrong with either Radek's computers or the Alteran database. Radek had tried other city terminals, had borrowed someone else's laptop to try instead, had gotten Daniel's assistance with a translation program to render Goa'uld back to some language Radek could read--only for the Goa'uld to translate itself immediately to Mandarin, then almost immediately to Asgard.

At that, Radek had finally thrown up his hands in frustration and brought in the big guns--a six- foot-tall, blue-eyed linguist who was probably the only person on the planet who could keep up with the damned thing, and who had a personal interest in the topic of ascension anyway. Daniel translated, and Radek dug deeper into the material. Before long they were both so immersed in the research they were spending virtually all their time together, not just their nights and evenings in the quarters they shared.

Daniel had been working with him today, as usual, and the Alteran computer system had been behaving itself--as it usually did when Daniel was near. If Radek had not known better, he would have sworn the database preferred Daniel to him, for it usually stopped the silly language- of-the-moment games when Daniel was in the room. The material for the last two days had remained in a modern dialect of Goa'uld, which was easily translated by the program Daniel had created, leaving Daniel free to follow his own thread of research into the more spiritual aspects of ascension, while Radek immersed himself in the scientific analysis of the stages of human evolution that lead to ascension as a natural process.

As the research was going well, and dinner time approaching, Daniel had volunteered to go to the mess to bring back coffee and a meal for both of them. Radek had stopped what he was doing to watch Daniel leave the room--there were definite advantages to spending so much time with Daniel Jackson, one being that he was an extraordinarily good-looking man who could make a pair of BDU pants look better than the SGC had probably ever intended they look. Radek admired Daniel--and in more than a physical sense alone--he liked him, and knew damned well he could fall in love with the man if he gave himself half a chance, but Daniel was in love with Jack O'Neill, mourning him, trapped here in the past long before Jack was born, no more ready to let go of the man he loved than Radek was to let go of Milos.

Radek had turned back to his work after Daniel left his sight, only to find out that what had been Goa'uld nicely translated to Czech for him a few minutes before was now some language he had never seen in his life--and he had then set about calling the Alteran database everything he could think to call it.

" _Jsi v hajzlu_ ," he said again, pushing his chair away from the workstation--and it really was fucked up, this language-translating demon in the Alteran computer system, a computer system that liked to torment Radek alone out of all the people in this city, for it didn't do this to anyone else.

He sighed and thought for a moment about trying to catch up with Daniel so they could eat together in the mess, but decided against it. The way his day was going, he would miss the man and end up eating alone.

He settled to going over a few notes he'd made instead--handwritten, on a pad of paper, so the computer system couldn't mess with them. This really was the strangest place in all the universe; he had been certain of that even before the database had begun to play tricks on him. First it had been the _anachronismus_ \--the anachronisms--the things that had no reason for being here, both out of their own place and time, then that strange child's appearance, then the lightening storm from hell all those months before. In the past six months things had gotten only stranger, for that lunatic Hopkins had begun to perform what might seem like miracles to some--healing a broken leg one of the marines had suffered in a fall, stopping a storm into dead calm with nothing but spoken scripture, moving things with the wave of his hand, kindling fires in midair that no one could extinguish.

Dr. Lam's scans had shown that unexpected areas of the man's brain had become active, giving him advanced human abilities--they had known Adria was behind it, but there was nothing they could do. At least the showy, pseudo-miracles were doing no one any harm.

Radek sighed and took off his glasses to rub his tired eyes for a moment before putting them back on. He was hungry enough now to eat virtually anything Daniel brought back from the mess, although he hoped that whoever had this afternoon's shift could actually cook. Radek himself had almost set the makeshift kitchen on fire the last time he, Daniel, Rodney, and John had shared that duty.

He went back to reviewing his notes, although his mind wandered away to thoughts of Daniel almost immediately. He really did like the man. In the last six months Daniel had become one of the closest friends Radek had ever had in his life. They talked about everything: their pasts, interesting discoveries, their theories about various things, their feelings about life and existence and the universe in general. Radek had never before had so many discussions on the very essence of being what they were as thinking, self-aware individuals with free will--Daniel made him consider things he would never have considered otherwise. The man was brilliant and handsome, well-read and insatiably curious, full of the wisdom of the ages one moment and childlike awe the next--he was a good man, the kind of man Milos would have been proud to know.

And to Radek there was no greater compliment than that.

He thought for a moment he heard Daniel returning. There was a sound in the hallway just beyond the door. Radek turned in his chair, prepared to help Daniel with their dinner--but it wasn't Daniel. A big man stood within the open doorway, the width of his shoulders almost filling the frame from side to side--Worley, the leader of the homophobic neanderthals among the military, his eyes on Radek now.

Radek got up from his chair as Worley entered the room, the man reaching out to signal the door shut behind him.

"What do you want?" Radek demanded, determined to take the upper hand here. He knew better than to show any weakness before a man such as this one.

"You better watch your tone with me, faggot," Worley said, walking further into the room, his eyes quickly scanning the space, though he stayed between Radek and the door.

"I asked what you wanted," Radek demanded again. His stomach was knotting up inside of him, but he could not show it.

"To talk to you," Worley said, cracking his knuckles now as he stared at Radek, trying to be even more intimidating, as Radek well knew.

Radek didn't say anything, waiting. He could smell the alcohol now, the noxious home-brew concocted by some of the scientists. Stupidity, bigotry, and liquor were never a good mix.

"I know what you're doing, you know," Worley said, starting forward.

"What I'm doing?" Radek repeated, having no idea what the man was talking about.

Worley was slowly approaching him, all the while staying between Radek and the door. "Why we're here, what brought us here, why there are so few women here, and why the ones who are here are such tight-assed bitches they won't give a man some--you and McKay did it, didn't you? You brought us here, trying to turn us all into a bunch of fags. Beckett saying he's turning apes into humans--that's the choice you're giving us, isn't it? Either we breed with animals or we all turn into a bunch of queers."

"You're out of your mind," Radek said, eyeing the door past Worley's shoulder. The man was absolutely insane, and so drunk all the stops were gone. Radek had to get out of here, and now.

His guts were twisting inside of him, his mind suddenly flashing back to the night Milos died, and Radek could almost see again the glint off the prybar that had beaten both him and then Milos that night, could almost feel the roughness of the pavement beneath his cheek and the sting of blood in his eyes, the feeling of pain throughout his body, and blow after blow as the bar was brought down again and again. He tried to shake off the memory, knowing damned well it could cost him his life if he did not get out of here now--he moved to the side as Worley reached for him, then tried to make it to the door, but Worley had hold of him, grabbing his wrist, twisting it up behind his back, turning and shoving him hard face-first into the nearby wall until Radek felt all the air leave his body with the impact.

Worley was crowding against him, twisting the arm up further and further until Radek feared it would break. The man jerked him away from the wall, then slammed him into it again, using the entire weight of his body this time to drive Radek into the surface, his fingers knotted into Radek's hair to drive his face into the wall as well. Blood started to flow from Radek's nose, covering his lips. A sharp pain shot through his side, and it was suddenly hard to draw in a breath, but Worley wasn't finished with him yet. The man's weight was on him, crowding him, Worley driving upward with the arm twisted behind Radek's back until Radek was forced to rise on his toes in an attempt to lessen the pain. Worley's face was against his ear, rough stubble grating the skin, and with horror Radek realized that he was feeling the man growing hard now against his hip, Worley apparently excited by the pain he was inflicting.

"This is what men like you like, isn't it?" Worley breathed against his ear, forcing the arm up even further behind Radek's back, causing Radek to cry out in pain. "Being somebody's bitch--"

"Do you get excited by beating up women as well?" Radek managed to say, though the words cost him a fist driven into his right kidney that almost caused him to black out from the pain before he was yanked from the wall and driven back into it again hard enough to drive the air from his lungs once more--then Worley's mouth was against Radek's ear again.

"Always told my old lady that one hole was as good as the other--I guess yours'll do just as well- -" and his hand was between Radek and the wall, fumbling with Radek's belt, and Radek realized what the man had in mind--

He began to fight, shoving hard against the wall with his free hand to try to get Worley off him, trying to turn, driving a heel down hard into the top of the man's foot. He managed to free himself, only for Worley to drive a fist hard into the side of his head, sending him stumbling sideways, his senses addled for a moment.

Radek tried to make it to the door, but his steps were unsteady now, his vision blurred, his glasses lost in the struggle. He shook his head, trying to clear his thinking, his eyes set on the way out--but Worley was on him again, driving a knee hard into Radek's groin, doubling him over with pain, and he was being shoved face-first over the nearby desk.

Worley knotted his fingers in Radek's hair, lifting his head up to drive his forehead hard against the desk, then again, and darkness began to threaten Radek's vision--but still he felt it as his pants and boxers were being yanked down, and a moment later the feel of a cock against his ass, his arm twisted again behind his back, holding him pinned in place. He knew it was going to happen, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He knew, even as darkness began to descend--

Then the door opened somewhere behind him, and he heard Daniel's voice. A sound of pure rage tore the air, but Worley was dragged off him before he could do anything more.

Radek managed to slide to the floor, his pants down around his knees, blood now over the entire lower half of his face, the taste of it filling his mouth. Across the room John Sheppard held Worley pinned to the wall, one forearm tight across the man's windpipe, cutting off Worley's supply of oxygen as Worley choked and his face turned deep red. Rodney stood nearby with his gun pointed to the man's head.

"Give me a reason," Rodney was screaming, over and over again, even as his hand shook. "Just give me a reason."

The last sight Radek saw before unconsciousness took him was Daniel's worried face.

~~~

Carson had given him the good stuff. That was what told Radek that he had been seriously hurt, for Carson didn't come off the good stuff unless he had to. It couldn't be replaced, after all, here some fifty-odd million years before the first pharmaceutical company had ever been built.

Carson hadn't given him enough though. The edge of pain dancing at the periphery of consciousness made that clear, that and the knowledge that something bad had happened to him, or had almost happened.

"You're going to be fine, son," he heard Carson say. Then to someone else, "There was no penetration, but he was beaten to bloody hell and back--what would make anyone do something like this?" And another time, "I had to do surgery to repair the damage to his shoulder. It looked like the man tried to twist his left arm off. He also has three cracked ribs, not to mention a concussion and a bruised right kidney. He also took a knee to the groin. He'll live, but he's going to be miserable for a while--Elizabeth, see if you can't get Daniel to go get some rest. He hasn't left once since they brought Radek in."

 _No, he wouldn't_ \--Radek thought. _He'd be afraid I'd die alone_ \--just before he faded from consciousness again.

The first time he came fully awake to the gnawing reality of pain that seemed everywhere in his body, Daniel was there.

"Hey," Daniel said, the minute Radek opened his eyes.

Radek tried to respond, but his mouth was dry. Carson was suddenly there with a cup of ice chips, handing it over to Daniel. Daniel slid one into Radek's mouth as Carson assured Radek he would be okay. Radek could only wonder at where the hell they had managed to come up with ice here on Altera, although it felt like heaven in his mouth.

"Remember that tall piece of equipment we couldn't get to initialize in here? It's an ice machine," Daniel supplied, as if he were reading Radek's thoughts.

"Good," Radek managed, hoarsely, for it did not surprise him at all. Nothing did here anymore.

"It started up on its own this morning."

"My eyeglasses?" Radek asked, for he wanted to see Daniel more clearly.

"I have them," Daniel said, sitting the cup of ice aside.

He pulled them from his pocket, then took the time to clean them off before settling them on Radek's face, telling Radek to remain still. Radek had no objection to that; every movement made some part of his body hurt only worse, and his left arm was completely immobilized.

"The frames were bent, but I think I have them straight," Daniel said, sitting back at last. He looked worried, his brows knit slightly.

His next words, though, surprised the hell out of Radek.

"I'm sorry, Radek," he said.

"‘Sorry?'" Radek repeated. "This isn't your fault."

"I should have come straight back, but I ran into Rodney and John--God, Radek, I'm--"

"Not your fault," Radek said again. "Not your fault at all." He reached out and placed his hand over Daniel's where it was knotted into a white-knuckled fist on his knee, even though the movement made him ache all the more.

"He didn't--we got there before he could--" Daniel seemed unable to say the words.

"I know."

"God, Radek, I'm--" Daniel began, and Radek knew he was about to apologize again, though he was interrupted by the entrance of Rodney and John.

"You're awake!" Rodney said, sounding surprised. "I told you he'd wake up while we were gone!" He looked worried to death as he approached the bed.

"Hey, buddy, how're you doing?" John asked Radek, smiling even as he reached out a calming hand to place it on his spouse's shoulder.

"I will be fine," Radek answered.

"Rodney and John have been here most all the time since you've been out," Daniel told him.

And Daniel had been here one-hundred percent of that time. Radek knew that without having to be told.

"John made me go eat," Rodney said, as if he needed to explain. "He said he could tell my blood sugar was dropping, that I was starting to bitch--"

Radek flinched at the sound of the word, Worley's voice filling his mind, _"This is what men like you like, isn't it? Being somebody's bitch--"_ and for a moment Radek could feel the man's body against him, and the certain knowledge that--

He shook the memory off, his eyes coming to rest on Daniel, and he knew suddenly beyond doubt that Daniel had seen that reaction, that he had known...

Radek started to withdraw his hand from where he realized it was still resting atop Daniel's still- clenched fist, only for Daniel to capture the hand in his own instead.

"It gets better," Daniel said quietly, meeting his eyes, and Radek knew Daniel was speaking from the knowledge of what Hathor had done to him years before. "It takes time, but it does get better."

~~~

Major Evan Lorne felt like a spring that had been wound far too tight by the time he and Carson got back to their quarters that night. He kicked off his shoes and stretched out on his back on his bed, watching as Carson pulled off his uniform jacket and headed for the bathroom.

"I'm going to take a shower," Carson said, throwing the jacket on his own bed and tugging his shirt up out of the waistband of his trousers. "If I fall asleep in there, don't send in a search party until the morning."

"Okay," Evan said, then watched him disappear through the door, signaling it shut behind himself. He knew Carson was exhausted. They all were. There had been little sleep for any of them since Radek had been attacked what was now more than two days before.

Radek had finally become conscious enough this afternoon to tell them what had happened. Worley had beaten the hell out of him in the midst of an attempted rape--

As if there had been any question of that after what Sheppard, Rodney, and Daniel had walked in on.

Worley was telling an altogether different story, of course--that Radek had come on to him, and had gotten his "ass kicked for being a fag."

What concerned Evan was that there were people who believed that hogwash, circulated by several of the marines who had heard it immediately after Worley's arrest. Already a small group had presented themselves at the cell where they were holding Worley on one of the underground floors below the lecture hall, demanding his release. The same group, armed with Bibles and even a sign that read "God Decrees All Sodomites Should Die" had tried to gain access to the infirmary, as well.

Evan was watching his own worse nightmares for what might happen on this world starting up before his eyes.

But that was not what was on his mind now, not what had been plaguing him ever since the attack. He was still trying to comprehend the idea of a man who claimed that he believed homosexual sex was a sin, who would forcibly take the same from another man against his will. Evan had worked a brief stint as a prison guard before his military career, and had seen it then-- men who saw nothing wrong in using other men for sex in prison, simply because there was no access to women there, who would easily kill another man if they believed him gay in the outside world.

And they had far too many men here to their number of women.

It was a mix that invited this to happen again and again on this world. Rape--of their women and of men as well--murder, anarchy devolving into a civil war. Or perhaps a religious one. The very formula Evan could see as the possible start of the Ori in this timeline.

All because of the concept of what it was to be a man.

Evan had always considered himself to be strictly heterosexual. He'd never come close to any kind of sexual contact with another man, had never thought about it until recently as he'd watched their women here pair off with other men one by one, as well as two of the women pair up together. Already a number of marriages had taken place, and a few babies were already on the way--Penn and Lindsey Kavanagh were expecting a boy in about three more months, who would be the first child born here on Altera, and in just the past week Evan had learned that Cam and Carolyn, and Colonel Caldwell and Dr. Weir, were expecting as well. There were virtually no unattached ladies in their midst any longer except Vala Mal Doran, who spent all her time with her daughter.

And there was no way Evan would be going there.

He had to wonder now if he could have a physical relationship with another man. It was either that or continue to settle for his own right hand until the new humans reached a level when the two societies could hopefully be merged--and Evan couldn't get past the thought that would mean a relationship with a being who might have existed for perhaps only days in his own sense of time, because of the time dilation field.

That was just downright weird.

He'd almost prefer a relationship with a man. There was even the possibility of two men having a child together here, if Carson's experiment worked. And perhaps--

The bathroom door slid open and Carson came into the room, one towel wrapped around his middle and knotted in place there as he used another to dry his hair. The towels were real terrycloth, cut from huge bolts of the stuff they had found in a storage room here.

"That hot water felt good," Carson said quietly, sighing to himself as he crossed toward the inset drawers where his clothes were stored. "The bathroom's all yours," he told Evan back over his shoulder.

Evan didn't move but continued to watch Carson instead. Carson dug into a drawer and came out with a pair of sleep pants, sleeveless t-shirt, and underwear, then crossed back to his bed. He tossed aside the towel he'd been drying his hair with and dropped the one around his waist so that he could begin to dress, his back to Evan. Evan watched him--they had become good friends in the months they had been here. They had more in common than Evan would have believed before the first few of many evenings they had spent talking in this room over the last six months.

Carson ran his fingers through his wet hair after he was dressed, then gathered up the wet towels and returned them to the bathroom before coming back to begin to turn down his bed.

"Carson, why don't we have dinner together tomorrow night in the mess?" Evan asked, his eyes on Carson all the while.

"I really don't know what time I'll be breaking for dinner tomorrow," Carson said, going to fold his jacket over a chair. He didn't turn to look at Evan.

"You have to eat, you know."

"Aye, and I will, but I might just grab something and go back to work. I'd like to finish running this last set of genetic scans on the moon-humans."

"You can take enough of a break to sit down and eat."

"And I will, when I have time."

"Carson--"

"I said I will, Evan." Carson still had not turned to look at him.

"Are you this dense with women?" Evan asked, frustrated at the man.

"What?" Carson asked, glancing over at him at last.

"I'm asking you to have dinner with me, Carson, as in ‘go to dinner with me,' as in ‘go out with me,' even if the only kind of going out we can do here is to the mess."

"Oh," Carson said. Then, "Oh!" as what Evan was asking him finally sunk in.

He looked at Evan for a long moment, and Evan found himself suddenly afraid that Carson would say no.

But he didn't. "I'd love to go to dinner with you, Evan," Carson said at last. He looked at Evan a moment longer, then started to turn away--but he turned back and gave Evan a little smile that Evan could not help but return.


	18. Freefall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the attack on Radek, Carson Beckett and Major Lorne manage to find their way together--with a little help from John and Rodney.

Evan Lorne was scheduled for early duty the next morning guarding the asshole who had tried to rape Radek. Somehow he was not surprised to arrive in the corridor outside the holding cell to find Worley's four cronies facing down the single guard who had been posted there. Two additional men would be stationed in the room, standing guard just outside the cell, but they would be little use to the guard out here if Worley's buddies decided to take him down.

"You know goddamn well Vic didn't do what that little faggot accused him of doing," Elberg said, standing with his fists clenched as he stared at Major Curtis, the man who had been stationed in the hallway. Curtis held one finger on the trigger of his P-90, even though the men he had been facing down were men he worked with every day.

"Do you think Zelenka tried to twist his own arm off?" Evan asked, drawing their attention as he walked past them to join Curtis before the door.

"The little fag came on to Vic and Vic beat the shit out of him for it," Petrie said. He was cracking his knuckles as if aiming for a fight.

"You're even stupider than you look if you buy that load of crap." Evan's temper was rising.

"Vic should have killed the little queer," McGahn said, very quietly.

"Is there a problem here?" Caldwell asked, coming down the hallway from where he had just walked out the transporter doors.

"No, Colonel, no problem." Elberg looked around at his buddies. "We're just here to visit our friend." He returned his eyes to Evan and Curtis.

"Aren't you supposed to be on duty, Sergeant?" Caldwell asked.

"You know, that's just it, Colonel," Elberg said, turning to look at Caldwell at last. He was a big man, standing a good three inches taller than Caldwell. "We're trying to figure the reason we should be pulling duty shifts here. We signed up for the United States military, and as far as we can see the United States doesn't exist right now. I figure we're free men, don't you?"

Caldwell's jaw clenched. Evan saw a muscle jerk in his cheek.

"We don't see how you and Weir get to be the government here, either," Elberg continued. "We haven't had an election, and you're not the cops. You've got no right to be holding Vic against his will."

"Sounds like unlawful imprisonment to me," McGahn muttered nearby.

"He's got all the right he needs," Evan said, pointing the muzzle of his own P-90 at the center of Elberg's chest. "You got a problem with that?"

Caldwell reached up to key on his radio. "Sergeant Bates, Colonel Mitchell, Colonel Carter, report to the hallway outside the detention cell," he said, then keyed off his headset without another word.

Evan saw Elberg tighten his fists at his sides.

Evan moved the P-90 slightly to make certain it was keeping their attention. "I suggest you boys leave unless you want to be in that cell with your pal in a few minutes," he said.

"We'll be back," Elberg said, jabbing a finger in Evan's direction. "You can believe that; we'll be back."

"I'll be waiting," Evan said in return, staring at the man.

They left, walking down the hall, then turning to go up the nearby stairs just before the transporter at the end of the hall opened and Colonel Mitchell stepped out.

Caldwell brought his eyes to Evan and Curtis as Mitchell made his way toward them. Within seconds the transporter doors opened again to produce Carter and Bates.

"We're going to have more trouble out of them," Evan said.

"We certainly will." Caldwell looked troubled. He was still staring up the hall. After a moment Bates, Mitchell, and Carter joined them.

"Colonel," they each said in turn.

Caldwell nodded in acknowledgment, then quickly brought them up to speed.

"I want four people in this hall at all times, and two inside guarding that bastard, three eight-hour shifts each day," he concluded after a moment, then looked around at the five of them. "I want only personnel we can trust pulling duty down here. I don't want anyone setting this son-of-a- bitch free."

"Yes, sir," they all said, again in turn.

Mitchell met Evan's eyes as Caldwell walked away. "We've got a storm brewing, don't we?" he asked, looking concerned.

"We sure do," Evan told him.

~~~

That day turned out to be one of the longest of Evan's life. Eight hours in close proximity to a scumbag he'd dearly love to kill made it seem that long.

He and Bates ended up pulling duty inside the room, keeping guard over the man locked into the cell, Worley confined both behind bars and an electronic security field. Worley spent the entire time staring at Evan, probably because Evan returned the stare, thinking all the while of how they'd all be better off if the son-of-a-bitch suffered a bullet to the brain. Worley and his buddies were going to be trouble here, big trouble, before this was over with. Evan could feel it coming already.

"Are you okay, Major?" Bates asked him as they entered the transporter when their shift finally ended.

"Yeah, just hungry, I guess," Evan said as the doors closed to whisk them away. He and Bates parted company as they left the transporter on the main floor of the lecture hall, Bates heading directly toward the mess, while Evan went toward the infirmary to meet up with Carson so they could go have dinner together. He was having trouble wrapping his mind around the idea that he was about to go on a date with Carson Beckett, but he honestly wanted to give this thing a chance. It just made sense under the present circumstances, even if Evan couldn't quite imagine he and Carson actually having sex, even if things did progress in that direction.

The infirmary was quiet when Evan entered. Carson was checking Radek's shoulder, at the site of the surgery done to repair damage inflicted by Worley during the attack. Radek's eyes were squeezed tightly shut, his forehead and upper lip beaded over with perspiration, his right hand knotted in the bedsheet covering him, the sheet twisted into a taunt rope that he yanked as pain spiked through is features. Evan had known they had come close to exhausting the supply of pain medication in the last few days, but he had not imagined...

Daniel Jackson was standing at a distance from the bed, hugging his arms as if he was cold, Radek's discomfort reflecting on his own features with each painful sound Radek made. Teal'c was sitting across the room in silence, keeping a protective watch over Radek and Daniel both just incase Worley's buddies--or the Bible-thumping hatemongers who had already tried to gain access to the infirmary with their signs declaring ‘God Decrees all Sodomites Should Die'--tried to get in here. All too many people seemed to blame Radek for what had happened to him, to have accepted Worley's story that Radek had come on to him and had earned the beating he had suffered.

There was no accounting for idiocy on this or any other world, as Evan well knew.

He watched as Carson re-dressed the wound, then straightened. "You can relax now, son. I'm finished," Carson said at last, very gently. His voice was so soft. "See if you can relax and get some rest," he said.

He then turned to see Evan standing in the doorway. He looked unbelievably tired, and worried as he crossed the room to join him there.

"Elberg and McGahn tried to get in here earlier," Carson said the minute he reached Evan. He glanced back over his shoulder to Radek as Daniel pulled a chair close to the bed to sit down. Evan could hear Daniel speaking quietly to Radek, although Radek did nothing more than nod in response. "Teal'c and Daniel stopped them before they made it in the doorway, but Radek could hear them yelling that they were going to ‘fuck him up good' when he gets out of here for what he'd ‘done' to Worley--what he'd done," Carson repeated, shaking his head. "Done by--what? Refusing to be raped? Simply being who he is?"

"Are you okay?" Evan asked, concerned for his friend. Carson honestly looked exhausted.

"Radek had at last been asleep before they showed up--mercifully asleep, because we were almost completely out of pain meds. The noise startled him awake and he tried to sit up. He pulled out his stitches and did some more damage to that shoulder. I had to go back in to stop the bleeding. We're completely out of pain meds now. There's nothing I can do to even lessen--" His words simply halted.

Evan understood. He reached out and placed a hand on Carson's arm.

"I can't leave him like this, Evan," Carson said. "I know we were planning on having dinner together, but I can't--"

"It's okay, Carson, I understand."

Carson just sighed and nodded. Dr. Lam joined them in that moment and handed Carson a datapad. She, too, looked exhausted.

"The most recent scans of the moon-humans," she said, but did not elaborate any further.

Carson nodded, looking at her. "You should go get some rest, love. You've been here since early this morning--Evan, would you walk Dr. Lam to her quarters and stay with her until her husband gets there?" he asked, looking at Evan.

"I'd be happy to," Evan said, understanding Carson's reasoning. If Radek had not been safe in his own lab--

"And Carolyn," Carson turned back to her, interrupting Evan's thoughts, "I don't want to see you back here again until the morning. I'm going to stay here for a bit longer, and I'll stand on call tonight--you've got to take care of yourself for the wee babe." He then reached up to key on his headset before she could object. "Colonel Mitchell?" he said, then waited only an instant before the man's acknowledgment must have come in return. "Major Lorne is escorting your lovely wife to your quarters. I believe you're off duty now. I trust you'll meet her there and stay with her?"

Carolyn looked at him for a long moment after he keyed off the headset. "You think it's really come to that? Making sure we're never alone?"

As an answer, Carson simply looked back at where Radek lay on the bed in the room, his eyes closed with pain, then returned his eyes to Carolyn again.

She nodded in obvious understanding, then shrugged out of her lab coat and folded it across a nearby chair.

Evan caught Carson's eye and nodded, then helped Carolyn gather her things. Just before they left the infirmary, Carson gave him an apologetic smile. "Maybe we can have dinner tomorrow night?" he suggested. It was obvious he did not want to let this go, no more than Evan did.

"We can do that," Evan said, "but, until then, why don't I bring back a tray of food for both of us tonight--you have to eat, Carson. There's no reason we can't have dinner together here in the infirmary." It actually made a great deal of sense.

"That sounds good," Carson said, giving him a smile. Evan took a moment to confirm that arrangements had already been made for someone to bring dinner for Radek and Daniel, then he left with Dr. Lam. Colonel Mitchell had already arrived at their quarters by the time Evan and Carolyn reached there, so Evan left the good doctor with her husband and headed off to the mess to get dinner for himself and Carson.

The serving line was much shorter than usual, as the dinner time rush had already passed. The place was virtually empty, although McKay and Sheppard were in line only a few people ahead. Evan knew they had spent the early part of the day in the infirmary, as they had every day since the attack, taking their turn to watch over Radek, as had all his friends. They were bickering back and forth now the way they often did, but they kept catching one another's eye off and on all the while, a secret little smile playing first at the corner of Sheppard's mouth, then McKay's, making Evan wonder if this was some weird version of verbal foreplay to what they would probably be doing tonight. He didn't think they knew what had happened in the infirmary earlier, and Evan decided not to tell them. They deserved an evening together in peace and could deal with that in the morning.

As they left the line with trays in hand, Sheppard put one hand on McKay's back to guide him toward a table in an isolated corner. McKay looked over at him and smiled, getting a smile from Sheppard in return-- _they're just like any other couple_ , Evan thought, not knowing why that thought struck him so strange. But they were in that moment, just a couple having dinner together.

The S.O. filling trays had to call Evan's rank several times to draw his attention away from Sheppard and McKay. "Major? Major?"

Evan looked at him at last.

"You want some of this or not?" the man said, holding up a ladle full of something Evan didn't even look at.

"Yeah, sure," he said, holding out his tray with its double set of dishes, turning to look at Sheppard and McKay again.

McKay was dubiously sniffing at his drink when Evan neared their table no more than a moment later.

"This smells terrible," McKay said, giving the drink another sniff.

"It's tea, Rodney," Sheppard said. "It smells like tea." He sat down to begin to unload his tray.

"Well, it smells like there's lemon in it."

"There's no lemon on the entire planet, Rodney. We're a citrus-free world, as far as we can tell."

"Well, it still smells like it has lemon in it. Surely they have to have something else." And off he went, to butt back into the head of the serving line to ask if there was anything else to drink, Sheppard grinning and shaking his head all the while.

Evan stopped alongside Sheppard's table.

"Colonel," Evan said, drawing Sheppard's attention from the food he was examining on his plate.

"Major," he said, looking up at him.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Evan asked, although he really had no intention of eating here, as Carson was expecting him. He just felt a sudden urge to talk to Sheppard.

"Have a seat." Sheppard motioned to a chair on the opposite side of the table from where McKay's tray sat.

Evan sat down as Sheppard lifted an experimental spoonful of something green to his nose to give it a sniff, his eyes going to where McKay was now arguing with the S.O. filling trays.

Evan watched him watching McKay for a moment, then couldn't keep himself from asking. "Colonel, were you gay before McKay?"

Sheppard turned to look at him, a startled look on his face, the spoon poised before his mouth where he'd been about to give the green stuff an experimental taste.

He sat the spoon down on his plate with the green stuff untasted.

"Is there a reason you're asking, Major, or are you just collecting information on other people's sex lives to satisfy your own curiosity?" Sheppard asked him.

Evan knew he was walking on sensitive ground, especially with all the homophobia Sheppard and McKay had been subjected to from the day they were outed. "I--uh--with the shortage of women here, and it'll be years before the moon-humans reach a level where they can even know about us, Carson says--" He ran out of words. He had not intended to bring Carson into this.

"Carson, huh?" Sheppard asked, considering Evan for a moment, his eyes moving over Evan's face.

Evan knew the colonel had just put one and one together and come out with two--that being Evan and Carson, and the possibility--

"Gay's just a label, Evan," Sheppard said, and the use of his first name wasn't lost on Evan. "Just like straight and bi and whatever-else are labels. I was attracted to men as well as women, I just never acted on it before Rodney."

"I just never would have imagined you--McKay, sure, Zelenka, even Dr. Jackson, but not you."

Sheppard stared at him hard. "Don't let pre-conceptions fool you. Rodney had never been with a guy before me--and would you imagine Ronon or Teal'c as having had male lovers?"

"Well, no." Evan looked at him for a moment, considering. "What made you--act on it finally, with McKay?"

"He was my best friend and I fell in love with him," Sheppard said, simply.

Evan didn't know what to say to that.

"It's the most natural thing in the world when you're in love, whether the anatomy is what you're used to or not. Making love is still making love."

"But--isn't it different? I mean, it can't--feel the same."

"What, the love or the sex?" Sheppard asked, staring at him, and the question drew Evan up short, because he had to admit he really wasn't certain which he had meant.

"Both," he said at last, deciding to be perfectly honest with himself and with Sheppard.

"Being in love is being in love--do you really think it's different if you're in love with a man? If you can get yourself past all the bullshit you've been taught all your life and just realize that when you fall in love, you fall in love with a person and not the gender of his or her sex organs, any more than you fall in love with their hair or eye or skin color, or how much they happen to weigh. And the sex--" His voice trailed off.

"Yes?" Evan asked, most definitely not wanting him to stop there. That was really at the heart of his wanting to talk to Sheppard.

Sheppard grinned, then returned to looking at his plate again. "There are a lot of things two guys can do together, Lorne."

"Anal sex," Evan said, quietly, glad as hell they were sitting in an isolated corner of a virtually deserted mess.

Sheppard glanced over at him. "That's certainly one of the things."

"But it--well--I know some guys do that with their girlfriends or wives, but it sure can't feel like- -" he stopped right there, because he knew Sheppard understood.

"Like a vagina?" Sheppard supplied.

"Well, yeah." Of course. What else did he think he meant.

Sheppard was smirking again--though now at his own plate, as if lost in thinking of exactly what they were talking about. "Don't knock it until you've tried it," was all he said.

"What?"

"And from both sides."

"What?" that made no sense.

Sheppard looked at him again, this time as if Evan was being dense. "You like it tight? Every guy likes it tight. It'll be tight, the tightest thing you ever felt."

"Oh," Evan said, not knowing what else to say. Tight. Okay.

"The only thing that might be better is when he does it to you. You'll feel things you've never felt before, things I can't even describe."

"You mean, you let McKay do you, too?"

Sheppard opened his mouth to respond--but McKay was suddenly there, standing alongside the table. His first words made it clear that he had walked up in time to hear what they were talking about.

"You're talking to him about our sex life?" he demanded at a shocked whisper, staring at Sheppard.

Sheppard reached up and pulled him down into his seat, then leaned toward him. "Remember when you went to talk to Radek?" he asked, staring at McKay.

Evan had no idea what that was about--although he felt like a sudden intruder between them, and wondered if he could find some way to leave the table now without looking like a complete ass.

"Radek?" McKay asked, apparently not understanding.

"You went to try to borrow a book?" Sheppard made it into a question. "You know. Before. The first time." Each short sentence said at a whisper.

"Oh," McKay said, comprehension coming over his face. "Oh!" and he looked at Evan, surprised.

"Okay, McKay, don't let your eyes pop out of your head," Evan said, unable to stop himself. He was thoroughly embarrassed.

"Oh, well, then. That's okay," McKay said, obviously regaining his equilibrium. He looked over at Sheppard. "Who?" he asked, then to Evan's surprise whispered, "Carson?" to his husband.

"Shit!" Evan said, and started to get up from the table. He still had not meant to bring Carson into this.

"No, no, no, it's okay," McKay said, apparently going for soothing, and not making it.

"Sit down, Evan," Sheppard said. "We're not going to tell anybody. You ought to know that."

Evan sat back down, though he felt uneasy with both of them there. Talking to Sheppard had been one thing--but McKay? McKay was--well, McKay, and an arrogant pain-in-the-ass even at the best of times.

"So--um--" McKay cleared his throat. "What do you want to know?" his voice getting a bit higher with the last sentence. He lifted his chin, looking decidedly uneasy.

Evan had to keep from banging his head on the table top. He could not believe he was actually going to talk about sex with Rodney McKay.

~~~

Their dinner had long ago grown cold by the time Evan reached the infirmary. Carson didn't seem to mind--the food was pretty bad anyway, so being cold honestly did not make it any less edible. They really did need to come up with a list of those among them who could actually cook, and restrict food preparation duty to them before someone managed to poison them all with one of the noxious concoctions that all too often passed for meals around here.

Dinner turned out to be a quiet half hour in Carson's office as he and Evan talked over the events of both their days. It was not until it was almost over that it occurred to Evan that this was a first date and that it had gone better than any first date he'd ever had in his life--well, with the exception of the inedible food that had been a part of it.

Carson caught Evan's quickly hidden little smile at that thought.

"What?" Carson asked.

"What--what?" even though Evan knew damned well what he was asking about.

"The smile," Carson asked, watching him and smiling, too.

"Just thinking this wasn't too bad for a first date."

"Oh, aye," Carson said, the smile broadening, "not too bad at all."

Evan left him there in the infirmary as Ronon and Teyla arrived with dinner for Radek and Daniel. The two of them would stay through the night to keep watch over Radek until Sheppard and McKay arrived in the morning to take their place. Carson would be staying for a few more hours, then would be on call through the night while he tried to get some sleep. Evan could hear him trying yet again as he was leaving to get Daniel to leave with Teal'c so he could actually get some rest, but Evan was pretty sure Daniel Jackson wasn't going anywhere, not so long as Radek was in the infirmary. The two of them had become pretty inseparable in the time they'd been on this planet.

Evan arrived at the room he shared with Carson, keying open the door and locking it behind himself before going through to the bedroom. He took off his headset, unhooked the P-90 from his vest then shed the vest as well, removed his gunbelt, and stretched out on his back on his bed, thinking he might close his eyes for a while.

He was asleep before he knew it was going to happen. He awoke much later, realizing a dim light was filtering through the stained glass in the balcony door panels. It was daybreak, making Evan wonder why Carson had not wakened him when he got in. Evan rolled over, looking to where Carson should be sound asleep in his own bed, finding by the dim, colored light that the bed across the way was empty.

Evan sat up and ‘thought' the lights on, blinking as sudden brightness flooded the room. Carson's bed was still made.

"Carson?" Evan called, rubbing his eyes, getting up from his bed, going to stick his head in the bathroom, then going to look in the other room of their quarters. What the hell?

He went to snatch his watch up from the bedside table. He had reset it just the morning before, as he did virtually every morning, due to the days here lasting the equivalent of almost twenty-six hours of Earth time, which played all fucking hell with twelve or twenty-four hour timepieces in this place. He had slept right through the night; it really was daybreak, and Carson should be here unless there was a medical emergency he'd had to deal with.

Evan got his headset from the nightstand, put it on, keyed a channel and said, "Dr. Beckett, this is Major Lorne."

There was no answer.

"Dr. Beckett, this is Major Lorne. Please respond." He waited a moment, reaching to take up his gunbelt from the nightstand to strap it on, securing the leg strap on the inside of his right thigh.

Still no answer.

"Carson, this is Evan, please respond," Evan said, again, hearing the concern rising in his own voice.

Dead silence in return.

He started immediately for the nearest transporter, leaving it a moment later as close as he could possibly get to the infirmary. He found the lights dimmed the minute he entered. Ronon rose to his feet where he and Teyla were sitting keeping watch, one hand going to the butt of his gun until he saw it was Evan.

Radek stirred on the bed across the room, asleep at last, and thankfully did not waken. Neither did Daniel Jackson, sound asleep where he sat nearby, his glasses askew.

Evan crossed to Ronon and Teyla.

"Have you seen Carson?" he asked very quietly.

"Not in some time," Teyla whispered in return. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know. He wasn't in our quarters."

Evan started through the infirmary, opening door after door. He had not realized how large this place actually was, the hallway taking turn after turn, branching off into others that Evan had to check as well.

Room after room was empty and dark as Evan's guts began to twist into knots, his mind beginning to play scenario after scenario of what might happen to Carson here. Hopkins with his "miracles." Adria capable of doing almost anything. The shortage of women here, and the thought of what Worley had tried to do to Radek--and the image of Carson being forced face-first over a table with his pants yanked down suddenly wouldn't leave Evan's mind.

He hurried his pace, yanking open one door after another--how fucking big could this place be? He should never have fallen asleep. He should never have returned to their quarters alone. He should have waited here with Carson until Carson was ready to leave. If someone had hurt--

There was light coming from underneath the last door at the end of the final hallway. Evan wrenched the door open, startling Carson awake where he had been sleeping with his head on arms crossed on the work surface there. Carson turned, shoving his chair back at the same time, trying to rise, catching a foot and almost falling before Evan grabbed him by an elbow to keep him on his feet.

"Why the hell haven't you been answering your radio?!" Evan demanded.

The blue eyes framed by all those long lashes stared at him, surprised. "The bloody headset was feeding back from some of the equipment in here. It was giving me a headache, so I took it off," he said, staring at Evan. He looked as if he were still half asleep.

Evan sighed from the pent-up stress now fading out to relief. "Do you have any idea what time it is, Carson?"

"I thought there might be something in the Alteran database on the medicinal values of native plants, maybe for pain relief," he said, motioning to where his laptop sat interfaced with one of the Ancient terminals. "Why? Is something wrong? Is someone hurt?" he asked, starting to walk past Evan as if he intended to leave the room.

Evan stopped him. "No one's hurt, Carson, and nothing's wrong--except me searching every damned room in this building for you. I woke up and you weren't in our quarters. You weren't answering your radio. I was afraid maybe--" he let his words trail away.

"Oh," Carson said, his eyes moving over Evan's face. Evan could see that he understood, perhaps more than Evan had wanted him to. "I didn't mean to worry you."

"Well--" Evan stared at him a moment. "Come on, Carson. Dr. Lam is on call today and it's my one day off. Let's go get some sleep."

Carson shut down his laptop, then disconnected it to follow Evan down the twisting hallways and into the infirmary proper. He checked Radek over quickly without raising the lights, then rescued the crooked glasses from Daniel's face, folding them to leave them on the table at Daniel's elbow before crossing to speak to Ronon and Teyla.

"We're going to get some rest," he said, very quietly. "If he needs anything--"

"Dr. Lam is on call," Evan finished for him.

Carson turned to give him a strange look.

Evan steered him from the infirmary and toward the transporter. He keyed their door open when they reached their quarters, then followed Carson through to the bedroom where Evan removed his gunbelt and placed it on his bedside table. He stopped for a moment and watched as Carson turned down the covers on his own bed in preparation for getting some rest. Evan had to wonder if the man even realized he was still wearing the white labcoat he had been working in all day.

"Carson, you can't sleep in that," Evan said at last.

Carson straightened and turned to look at him.

Evan closed the short distance between them, then reached to begin to unbutton the labcoat. "You must really be half asleep on your--"

He had meant to say ‘feet,' but he never finished the words. He lifted his eyes instead and met Carson's gaze, realizing suddenly how close they were standing. Evan's hands paused as he met those blue eyes, then he continued to unbutton the labcoat. They were standing too close and Evan knew it, the heat of Carson's body against him, and Carson was moving closer still. His nose brushed Evan's--not quite kissing, not yet...

Evan's hands dropped to Carson's beltbuckle almost of their own accord, and he felt Carson do the same. A moment's work and suddenly Evan's pants were open and Carson's hand closed over him. Evan couldn't help but rock his hips forward, his lips meeting Carson's for the first time--and Carson tasted sweet, so sweet, his tongue stroking over Evan's.

Evan's hand closed around Carson's cock and it felt so right, his fingers wrapped around another man's dick for the first time in his life, Carson's hand inside Evan's boxers, stroking, as was Evan. Hips moved together, and it didn't matter they were two men. This was too good, Carson biting Evan's lip just as they broke apart to begin to hurriedly remove their clothes without either of them saying a word, too impatient to wait any longer.

Carson's bed was narrow but somehow they fit, bodies locked together, fingers around each other's cocks, hips moving, and they didn't last long, Carson crying out into Evan's mouth as semen hit his skin...

Evan awoke hours later to the feel of a warm body against him. He and Carson were laying nose- to-nose on Carson's pillow, breathing into the same small space, Carson's leg thrown over his. Evan could feel Carson's cock pressing into his stomach, hard again, and he lay there a moment focusing on that feel, and on the realization that he and Carson had had sex.

Damned good sex.

It had been easy. So--easy. There had been nothing strange or weird about it, no matter what Evan's preconceptions had been. Carson had seemed to know just exactly how to touch him.

And why shouldn't he? He had a cock of his own, after all.

Evan's entire body seemed to be focused on the sensation of that cock against him now. It had felt so different in his hand compared to his own. He'd felt the slide of what he'd realized was a foreskin under his fingers, even if he hadn't had the chance to really see for himself at the time. They'd been too busy trying to climb into each other's skin, too busy giving each other pleasure.

He was curious now.

Evan leaned back and tried to look down, but Carson went with him, seeming determined, even in his sleep, to keep full-body contact with Evan. Evan at last managed to maneuver back enough to be able to see down--yes, Carson was most definitely uncircumcised. Evan had to wonder what that must feel like, to have that sheath of skin sliding over the head of your penis.

Evan reached down and slid his fingers over Carson's cock, sliding the foreskin back gently, then down over the head again, enjoying the feel of it under his fingertips. He slid his hand down the length of that hard cock to wrap his fingers around it, then drew them up to the tip, gently sliding the foreskin back, then forward again as he stroked Carson. He was so fascinated with what he was doing that he did not realize the rhythm of Carson's breathing had changed until he looked up to find that Carson was wide awake now and watching him.

"Oh, uh--" Evan said, feeling guilty at being caught touching the other man in his sleep.

Carson's fingers closed over his before he could remove them. "You can touch me all you want, Evan," he said, his hand leaving Evan's to close around Evan's cock instead. Carson already knew just how to stroke him to drive him out of his mind.

Evan looked down to where his own hand was moving on Carson's cock, sliding the foreskin back and forth again over the head. "What does that feel like?" he asked, absolutely fascinated with the way that looked, with how that must feel to Carson.

"It feels good," Carson said, his hips moving slightly to Evan's touch. "Maybe I can show you one day; there is such a thing as docking, you know."

"Docking?" Evan asked, looking up to meet his eyes. "Is that the Scottish word for anal sex?" he asked, wondering what that had to do with what he'd asked Carson--but Sheppard did say tight, so maybe--

Carson laughed. "No, just something I read about--I do know all manner of things about sex, you know. I am a medical doctor." He was teasing Evan.

"Yeah, you are, aren't you." Evan returned the smile, his hips moving now to Carson's stroking of his cock--god, the man had good hands.

"So, you're not bothered by the idea of anal sex?" Carson asked.

"I have to admit I didn't really--" he let his words trail away. "But I talked to Sheppard and McKay--"

"You talked to Rodney McKay about sex?" Carson's hand stilled on him.

Evan restlessly moved his hips to remind Carson of what he was supposed to be doing.

Carson gave his cock a gentle squeeze that made Evan moan with need, then resumed the talented stroking, adding a little twist beneath the head that just about sent Evan out of his mind.

"I didn't intend to talk to McKay about it. He walked up when I was talking to Sheppard."

"Well, it is impossible to find one of them without the other around here."

"Yeah," Evan said, no longer thinking clearly--oh, god, Carson was definitely good with his hands.

"So, what did they tell you?" Carson asked him.

"About what?" Evan asked, licking his lips as he looked up at Carson. The only thing Evan could think about right now was how Carson was making him feel, how he hoped he made Carson feel in turn as he tightened his fingers around Carson's cock and sped up his stroking.

Carson laughed--and how the fuck could he keep thinking clearly enough to talk when they were doing this? "What did Sheppard and Rodney tell you about anal sex?" Carson asked him.

"Oh--that it's good, really good."

Evan had to wonder if he had missed something in the conversation when Carson then asked, "How would you feel about taking a shower with me, Evan?"

"What?"

"A shower? A nice, hot, slippery shower?"

Hot...slippery...yeah. Evan swallowed hard. "That sounds good," he said.

Carson's hand leaving his cock was not so good, but by then Evan was so hard he would have followed the man anywhere.

He did follow Carson to the bathroom, then stood and watched as Carson turned the shower on and adjusted the temperature. Carson got a bottle of something from one of the drawers to place it on the shelf in the roomy shower stall, then drew Evan inside to press him back against the heated tile wall as warm water rained down on them from multiple directions.

Carson was kissing him, his tongue swiping over Evan's and then exploring. Their cocks were trapped between them and they were moving together--oh, this was good. So very good. The water made their bodies slide just right and Evan was afraid he would come from the overload of sheer sensation alone.

Carson seemed to sense how close he was and backed off, reaching to take a bar of soap from the shelf to soap his hands--then those hands began to move over Evan, amazingly strong hands, kneading his shoulders, sliding over his chest, washing away the dried come from the night before, brushing over his nipples, and Evan was doing the same, sliding soapy hands over Carson's skin, amazed at how right this felt.

Carson moved behind him, those big hands sliding over his shoulders, moving down his back, then Carson pressed close, his chest to Evan's back, his crotch to Evan's ass, sliding his arms around Evan, his cock slipping between Evan's thighs from the rear as one soapy fist closed over Evan's cock and the other went to cup his balls. Carson's breath was hot in his ear, his lips pressed there for a moment as his hips rocked forward.

"Do you trust me, Evan?" he asked softly, the words practically breathed into Evan's ear as he rocked his hips forward again, pushing Evan into that tight, slippery fist closed around him, making Evan moan.

"Yes," Evan said at last, leaning back into him, finding it very hard to think right now.

Carson's hand continued to move on his cock. His left hand moved from Evan's balls and around to slide into the tight space between Carson's crotch and Evan's ass, gentle fingers moving, sliding between Evan's asscheeks, and Carson lightly brushed a finger over the tightly puckered opening there. Evan's hips jerked with surprise at the intimacy of that touch, even as Carson asked, "Will you trust me with this?" He pressed a kiss to Evan's ear, his body so close, that hand still moving on Evan's cock.

"Yes," he said, surprising himself. Yes, he would.

Carson pressed a kiss to his shoulder, that finger lightly brushing over Evan's opening again, and this time the touch was more expected, the startled reaction less intense. Carson gave his cock one last squeeze and released it and Evan could not help but moan at the loss of contact.

"Trust me," Carson said, pressing another kiss to Evan's shoulder. He had taken the bottle down from the shelf where he had placed it earlier and Evan realized suddenly what it was--something they could use for lubrication. Sheppard and McKay had told him they would need plenty of--

"Oh--" Evan breathed as the finger returned, slicked this time with something more than water alone. The hand that returned to his cock was slick as well as Carson pressed close again, his breath in Evan's ear. A moment of brushing over that tight opening and Carson gently breached him, sliding that finger inside, causing Evan to gasp--they were doing this, they were really doing it. Carson was going to fuck him.

And two fingers, sliding in and out. Stretching him. Getting him ready. Carson so close. Evan had leaned forward and braced his hands against the shower wall, standing with his legs further apart to make this easier, but Carson was right there, stroking him, giving him pleasure the entire time he prepared Evan for the pleasure Carson would take for himself. This wasn't so bad. It wasn't--

Then Carson found some spot inside him that sent pleasure sparking through Evan's body, brushing his fingers over it, then again, and again, and Evan's thighs were trembling as he tried to stay on his feet. Carson laughed lightly, brushing over that spot again as he continued to stroke Evan's cock. If he did that a few more times Evan was going to come. If the light brush of two fingertips felt like that, then what would a cock--

And suddenly the idea of having Carson's cock inside of him was much more interesting. The next brush of those fingers made him moan, "Fuck me, Carson," even before he could stop himself.

"No, love, I'm not going to fuck you," Carson said, so close against him, those fingers sparking pleasure through Evan again, causing his thighs to tremble. "I'm going to make love to you."

"Love?" Evan repeated, then gasped as Carson found that spot again. "Carson, please--" and he sounded as if he was begging.

"We will. I just want to make sure--"

"I'm sure, Carson--"

Carson laughed again. "Eager, Evan, just give me a moment."

And there were three fingers, stretching him, getting him ready--then slick pressure against his entrance, and Evan had a moment to wonder whether he could take it, whether this was really going to work, whether Carson--

Then Carson was entering him, slowly, so very slowly, pressing forward, strong fingers moving to wrap around Evan's cock as he pushed in further, so very slowly--so hot, so very hot, filling Evan completely. Evan had never imagined anything could be like this--Carson wrapped around him, Carson filling him, Carson in every sense and feeling as warm water washed down around them.

"God--" Evan gasped as Carson began to move at last--fuck, how could anything feel like this? Sensation. Everything was sensation. Carson built up slowly, taking his time, taking Evan, but he was thrusting at last, each thrust driving Evan into that tight, slick fist Carson kept wrapped around his cock, sending sparks of pleasure through him from that place inside that Carson's cock kept finding. Evan was moving with him now, taking himself on Carson, taking Carson as well, and Carson was whispering his name, the thrusts becoming harder, more determined, as if trying to merge their bodies into one. So good, so good--and Evan was coming at last, coating Carson's fist with semen, knowing where he wanted to be for the remainder of his life.


	19. The Hard Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the attack on Radek, the new Alteran society is threatening to come apart at the seams

The lights had been turned off in the infirmary by the time Carson and Evan arrived there late that afternoon. Candlelight flickered off the walls, dancing off the lenses of Radek and Daniel's eyeglasses, throwing strange, moving shadows on the ceiling overhead.

Daniel sat in his chair by the bed, his legs folded beneath him, his hands on his thighs, his eyes closed. Radek lay with his hands resting lightly atop the sheet covering him, his eyes closed as well, his face peaceful. There were no signs of pain tightening his expression, drawing lines of tension alongside his eyes or mouth, as there had been even in his sleep in the days since the attack.

Carson looked to where Teal'c and Sam Carter sat at the other side of the room keeping watch over Radek and Daniel. Teal'c raised one finger to his lips to assure Carson and Evan's silence, although his expression never once changed. Carter seemed to sense Carson's confusion. She smiled and nodded her head toward the hallway that opened at the far side of the room.

Carson and Evan made their way in that direction, starting down the hall to find Carolyn in her office, along with Elizabeth and Colonel Caldwell, Colonel Mitchell, and a very pregnant Lindsey Kavanagh along with her husband, Penn.

"So, what's going on with--" Evan began even before Carson could ask, motioning with one thumb back in the direction of the infirmary proper.

"Daniel had an idea that kel'no'reem might assist Radek in managing the pain," Carolyn said. "It actually seems to be working."

"‘Kel'no'reem?'" Evan looked over at Carson.

"It's a kind of meditation used by the Jaffa," Carson told him, then his eyes settled on Lindsey. "What are you doing here, love? Is everything okay?"

"I came for my checkup with Dr. Lam. We didn't want to disturb Radek and Daniel, so we thought we'd wait for a while before leaving." She smiled at Penn, who was sitting as close to her as humanly possible there on the Ancient version of a sofa.

"Lindsey and the baby are both right on schedule," Carolyn said. "Another few months and she'll be having the first baby born on Altera."

"The first baby born in this timeline," Lindsey said, looking at Penn. "It's hard to wrap your head around."

"Especially now," Penn said, taking her hand to intertwine their fingers and obviously squeeze it. The man had always been negative, but right now he looked more concerned and genuinely worried than Carson had ever seen him, which was saying a great deal.

"We have a problem brewing," Elizabeth said, drawing Carson's attention. Her own expression was somber.

"Another one?" Good Lord, weren't they dealing with enough already?

"Actually more than one," Colonel Caldwell said, looking over at his wife.

Carson pulled a couple of chairs out from where they had been tucked beneath a workstation and he and Evan sat down. They'd had such a wonderful morning, and now--

"Major Worley's friends are demanding that he either be released or stand trial immediately," Elizabeth told them.

"Just because they demand--" Carson began.

"They've been gathering support," she continued, effectively silencing him. "They're telling everyone we don't have either the jurisdiction or the authority to hold Worley--after all, this isn't Atlantis, the Daedalus, or any US military base. We haven't had an election and we don't have a proven judicial system. We're a conglomeration of citizens from multiple nations and more than one galaxy, a conglomeration that has held together to this point by mutual consent alone."

"Oh, crap--" Carson muttered.

Elizabeth nodded. "Since no two of our countries of origin have the same laws, they're insisting the only laws that exist here are those we now create for ourselves."

Evan muttered an expletive under his breath.

"Oh, it gets better," Colonel Mitchell said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Carson looked at him.

"They're gathering support from that bunch of whackjobs who've been going around with the signs saying that God decrees all gays should die."

"And those ‘whackjobs,'" Carolyn said, borrowing her husband's word, "are insisting the only law that can exist here should be the law of God."

"Whose God?" Evan asked.

"Theirs."

"The one that wants all the gay men dead," Evan said, turning his eyes to Carson.

"They're gaining more support than that," Lindsey said, still holding Penn's hand, their fingers intertwined, "people you'd think would never support someone else over--" she didn't finish; she just motioned between Colonel Caldwell and Elizabeth with her free hand.

"We're going to have to put Worley on trial immediately, before we lose control of the situation," Caldwell said. "I need you to tell me when he'll be able to testify."

"‘When he'll be able...'" Carson repeated. "Colonel, he's been through bloody hell. The man was beaten badly. He was nearly raped. He has three cracked ribs and a bruised kidney. He's in significant and continuous pain. I've had to do surgery on his shoulder twice in the last few--"

"Doctor, I need to know a date, and it needs to be--"

Elizabeth lay a hand on Caldwell's arm, silencing him. "Carson, we need to try Worley before we lose the ability to try him. We very well may have to hold an election to establish that someone has a recognized right to govern and legislate laws here. If Worley's friends or the religiously conservative--" she waved a hand for a moment, seeming to be searching for a word "--‘whackjobs,'" she finally said, falling back on Mitchell's word as well, "gain enough support, they could seize control, free Worley, and pass laws that could put Radek on trial instead, potentially for his own life, simply for being a gay man--not only Radek, but John, Rodney, Daniel, Ronon, and Teal'c, as well."

Carson's gut twisted into knots at the thought that Evan would now be included among those names, if only Worley and his cronies knew, that so many of his friends--

"But what's to guarantee," Evan began, "even if we do try Worley, even if we do manage to convict him, that they won't force an election anyway, or stage an outright coup, and seize power to do things their own way, freeing Worley in the bargain."

"That could happen." Elizabeth sighed. She looked extremely tired. Carson got up to go pour her a glass of water from the pitcher Carolyn kept across the room, thinking of the wee one she was carrying. She most definitely should not be under so much stress, and neither should Lindsey, or Carolyn. Elizabeth accepted the glass with a smile and took a sip as he resumed his seat, then continued, "We believe, though, if we can prove we can function as a society, one that can enforce laws that any rational mind would want to see enforced here, that it'll be less likely for our population to allow them to seize control."

That made a great deal of sense, even if it did mean one more burden they would be asking Radek to deal with in addition to everything else he had already been through.

"I'll talk to Radek as soon as he and Daniel finish kel'no'reem," Carson said, wishing like hell that he was not going to have to tell Radek Zelenka that the trial of his attacker could be the one thing the continuation of their society would be hinged upon.

~~~

"Carson, can I speak to you a moment," Evan asked as the others began to discuss the impending trial.

Carson followed him from Carolyn's office and to his own, where Evan closed the door after them, then turned to look at him. That morning, and the night before, now seemed very far away as Carson met Evan's eyes across that short distance between them.

"Carson, with everything going on now--" he didn't finish the sentence.

And suddenly Carson understood. He sighed and shook his head. "No one has to know about us, Evan, and nothing has to happen between us again if you don't--"

"Wait a minute," Evan said, closing the distance between them in an instant. He took Carson's face between his hands and kissed him, surprising the hell out of Carson even as Carson felt the need to try to climb in the man's skin with him again. "This is easy," Evan said when the kiss was ended, brushing his nose against Carson's before kissing him again. "That, out there--" he said, and Carson understood that he meant the remainder of this planet outside themselves, and the insanity threatening to destroy the civilization they were trying to build here "--is the hard part."

"Aye," Carson said.

"The first night we all moved to quarters here, you said the guys on this planet are going to have to become more flexible over the ideas of sex and love or this place was going to start coming apart at the seams. Well, it's coming apart--but I'm not going to hide, Carson, not unless you want to. I'm not afraid for myself, but you have to know that letting people know about us now could put your life in danger. You've seen those goddamn signs. You know what those religious nutjobs are saying. You'll be a sitting target here in the infirmary. Anyone can gain access to you here simply by saying they're sick. We can have Caldwell station security permanently in the infirmary, but, according to how this trial goes--"

Carson silenced him by kissing him, wondering vaguely if this was how Sheppard managed to live with Rodney, by kissing the man into silence whenever he was just not getting it.

"I don't want to hide, Evan," Carson said when the kiss was finished. "There's not a single closet on this entire planet. I don't want to construct the first one just to hide our relationship in."

Evan smiled. "Okay, then," he said, then grinned. "Well, you have to admit, this will make one thing easier--"

"What's that?" Carson couldn't help but smile as well. Evan was a very handsome man--a fact that Carson was becoming more and more aware of.

"Explaining how it happens that I'll be the other parent of the first Lorne-Beckett, Beckett-Lorne- -whatever--child born on this planet, if your project works--"

Carson stared at him, surprised. He had hoped Evan might be willing to provide the other sample that would be needed in his first attempt to see if it would be possible for two men to have a child together, a child who would hopefully come to term in a freestanding artificial womb in Carson's lab, but they hadn't even discussed--

Evan apparently noted the startled look on Carson's face. He frowned. "You weren't going to ask me?"

"I was going to ask for a volunteer. I'd hoped you'd be willing--"

"You combine your DNA with anyone else other than me and we're going to have a problem, Carson," Evan said, staring at him hard.

Carson couldn't help but to laugh. The damned civilization might be threatening to come apart around them, but he knew now at least they were in this together for the long term.

~~~

It was the next day that Daniel left the infirmary for the first time since the day Radek had been attacked. Until then, he had showered and shaved each morning in the infirmary facilities, changing into the fresh uniform brought the evening before by Teal'c. He'd taken his meals there, and had kept Radek company, making certain his friend remained safe.

This day, he did all that, but when Teal'c and Sam arrived to replace John and Rodney to help guarantee Radek's security, Daniel met John Sheppard's eyes.

"I want to see Worley," he said.

Radek stirred uncomfortably in his bed and looked over at him. "Why?"

"I just need to," Daniel said, never taking his eyes from John.

John returned the stare for a long moment, then nodded, understanding. He was second-in- command of the military here. Daniel knew he could make it happen.

The lower level of the lecture hall, where the detention cell was located, was quiet when John, Rodney, and Daniel stepped out of the transporter. Caldwell was talking to the guards stationed at the end of the long hallway before the closed door. He turned and watched as they approached--he had every reason to stop them, every reason to question why they were there.

He did none of that. Instead his eyes moved from one to the other of them as they stopped before the door--Radek's closest friends. The three men who had witnessed and stopped the attack.

Caldwell signaled the door open himself without saying a word.

Vic Worley was laying on the narrow bunk in the cell. He turned his head on his pillow to see who had entered.

John saw Bates and Curtis, standing guard in the room, exchange a look with Caldwell when he followed them inside.

Worley slowly got up from the bunk to cross toward the cell door. "What is this, fag visiting day?" He stopped and stared at the three of them.

Daniel didn't say anything, neither did Rodney, standing at John's other side.

Worley's eyes moved from one to the other of them, returning to Daniel at last.

"How's your boyfriend, Jackson? Is he ready for another round?" A smile touched the man's lips.

John wanted to knock it down his throat.

"Next time I won't go so easy on him, you know. Next time we'll finish what we started."

He felt Daniel tense beside him. John had never wanted so badly to kill anyone in all his life.

Worley's eyes moved over each of them, from Daniel, to John, to Rodney, to Caldwell, to Curtis, to Bates. Worley took a step closer to the cell door, his eyes coming to rest on Daniel again, a look of pure hatred on his face. "That little faggot boyfriend of yours accused me of trying to fuck him--I'm going to fuck him. I'm going to fuck him 'til he bleeds. I'm going to fuck him 'til he screams. I'm going to fuck him 'til he begs me to kill him so the pain'll stop--do you think anybody'll believe his story over mine when we have a trial? Do you really?"

Daniel stared at him a moment.

When he spoke, it wasn't to answer Worley's question, but to say what John knew he had come here in the first place to say.

"If I ever see you out of that cage, I'll kill you," Daniel Jackson said, very quietly, meeting Worley's gaze.

Daniel didn't say anything more.

He stared at Worley for a moment longer, then turned and left the room without another word.


	20. Aequalis Libra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Radek, Daniel, and the others are caught in the middle when the society begins to threaten to come apart around them on Altera. Religious fundamentalism and homophobia are on the rise--is the stage set for the Ori to begin?

Jack had always said Daniel was the most stubborn human being he had ever known.

Jack had never gotten to know Radek Zelenka.

Daniel stood just out of Radek's sight at the edge of the infirmary's bathroom doorway, watching as Radek got dressed for the trial that would take place that day--as he attempted to get dressed, stubbornly refusing the help Daniel had offered, just as he had refused Carson's help, and Sheppard's, and Dr. Lam's as well. He was trying now to do up the buttons on his uniform pants--to do them up one-handed, his other arm immobilized in the sling Carson had provided. He was obviously in pain, the tension creasing his features. He looked exhausted just from the struggle to dress himself alone. He should not be facing the trial already, before he'd had time to heal and recover--but Radek had insisted after Carson had told him what could be at stake for them all.

Sheppard's team waited in the infirmary proper, along with Carson and Major Lorne, from which they would accompany Radek and Daniel to where the trial would be taking place in the lecture hall. Radek had asked to be left alone to get dressed, although Daniel was unable to keep himself from watching over him--Daniel had lost too many people in his life: his parents, Shau're, everyone he had known on Abydos, Janet Frasier, Catherine Langford, and now Jack as well. He was not going to lose another person he cared about. He'd had far too few close friends, and Radek had become his closest friend here, closer even than Teal'c, which had come as a surprise to Daniel. From the first, something had just clicked between them. Jack would say they were too much alike--talkative, argumentative, passionate about the things they cared about. And they'd both known too much tragedy in their lives.

They'd spent the vast majority of their time together since they'd been here, and now that Daniel thought about it, it seemed almost as if this city had made certain of that, although he knew that was impossible--but first there had been their quarters, filled with things from both their lives, the only anachronisms they'd found here that had been personally identifiable with anyone. Then there had been the Alteran database, translating itself into other languages to torment Radek alone.

Or to keep Daniel working alongside him as the only person who could translate.

If Daniel had only thought of that the day of the attack, he would never have left Radek alone, then maybe--

"I know you are there, you know," Radek said in Czech. He turned to meet Daniel's eyes where Daniel stood at the edge of the doorway.

Daniel stepped out, embarrassed at being caught watching him. "I wasn't--"

"I know," Radek said, interrupting, letting Daniel know that he realized Daniel had not meant anything by it. He met Daniel's eyes a moment longer, then looked down to where he had been attempting to button the fly of his pants. "This is impossible with use of only one hand."

Daniel walked into the room. "I could help, if you'll let me."

Radek sighed, but nodded his head after a moment. Daniel could almost feel the reluctance radiating of off him as he walked closer. He remembered what it had been like after what Hathor had done to him, the desire to not be touched by anyone. Jack had broken through that, continuing to touch Daniel just as he had always touched him, a hand on an arm, or a shoulder, nothing more than the good friends they'd been back then.

Daniel reached for the unbuttoned fly of Radek's pants and sensed every muscle in Radek's body tensing. He looked up to meet Radek's eyes.

"It's not--" Radek began, the blue eyes so tired behind his eyeglasses. _It's not you--_ Daniel understood.

"I know, Radek."

Radek nodded, understanding.

Daniel did up the buttons and fastened Radek's belt, wishing he could just as easily make everything else right again.

~~~

The first thing Radek saw when he left the infirmary was a sign reading ‘God Decrees all Sodomites Should Die.' It was in the hands of a scientist he had known and worked with for two and a half years.

"Idiot," Rodney muttered, and Radek saw him catch Sheppard's eye.

Radek started to say something, but his attention was drawn to Elberg, McGahn, Petrie, and Aames as they approached from across the wide hallway that lead to the lecture hall. The men had been waiting for them. Ronon stepped directly into their path, as Daniel, Sheppard, Rodney, Lorne, Carson, and Teyla closed ranks around Radek.

"Get out of my way," Elberg said, coming almost chest-to-chest with Ronon--as if anything he said or did could move Ronon Dex from wherever he wanted to be.

"Why don't you make me?" Ronon asked, and Radek could hear the smile in his voice--he was still spoiling for a fight with these _neandrtálec_ , as he had been since the day Rodney and Sheppard had been outed.

Elberg stared at him a moment, then looked beyond him to meet Radek's eyes. There was a look of pure hatred on his face as he raised one hand to point at Radek. "You better tell the truth today, you little faggot. They'd better let Vic go, or we'll--"

"Is there a problem here?" Caldwell asked loudly as he approached. Sergeant Bates, Colonel Mitchell, and Lieutenant Kagan were with him.

Elberg stared at Caldwell for a moment, then turned his eyes back to Radek. "You heard me, you little faggot," he said, then glanced at Caldwell again before walking away.

Radek felt Rodney shift uncomfortably at his side. "It'll be okay," Rodney said nervously, and Radek looked over at him.

Radek didn't have the heart to tell the man that he didn't think it would ever be okay again.

~~~

This was the strangest trial Carson had ever heard of in his life.

Radek gave his testimony about the beating he had endured, and the attempted rape, answering each question that Elizabeth, who was handling the prosecution, put to him. Dr. Sturdevant, formerly the head of the marine geology and geophysics department on Atlantis, now the self- styled leader of the religious movement responsible for the "God Decrees All Sodomites Should Die" signs, and the man Worley had chosen to act in his defense, asked only one question in his cross-examination:

"Are you a sodomite?"

Radek stared at him for a long moment, the pain and exhaustion creasing his features. "I am a Czech," he finally said, never once looking away from Sturdevant. "I am a man. I am a scientist. I am now a citizen of this world--and if you are asking if I am homosexual, yes, I am, although it is no concern of yours."

He asked the same single question of Daniel in cross-examination, and Rodney and Sheppard as well, when they each testified to what they had witnessed when they walked in on the assault. Rodney's response was to tell Sturdevant that his sex life was none of Sturdevant's business. Sheppard's was to tell him that what he did with the man he loved was no one's concern but theirs. Daniel had a very Daniel response, and nothing less than Carson had already learned to expect from the man.

"‘Sodomite' is an English word meaning a person who takes part in the act of sodomy. The word ‘sodomy' is derived from the Latin term _peccatum Sodomiticum_ , or the ‘sin of Sodom,'written about in the Christian Bible, the Torah, and the Koran, and actually refers--not to the act of anal intercourse itself--but to intended or attempted homosexual rape, the very crime that your client, Major Worley was attempting to commit against Dr. Zelenka when we--"

"I demand that the witness be instructed to answer the question!" Sturdevant yelled, looking to Caldwell, who was acting as judge.

Caldwell appeared to be trying to repress a smile where he sat on the raised platform. It was the only smile Carson had seen on his face since all this had begun. "I believe Dr. Jackson is answering the question," Caldwell said, and waved his hand to Daniel to let him know he could continue, if he had more to say.

And Daniel did, of course. "The religious passages that are the basis of the ‘sin of Sodom' appear in Genesis chapter 19 of your Christian Bible, and refer to when men of the city of Sodom purportedly demanded that two male angels visiting the just and righteous Lot be sent out to them to be raped. Lot offered his two virgin daughters to be gang raped by the men instead--an action that is apparently acceptable in your Christian Bible--"

"That's--" Sturdevant tried.

Daniel wasn't finished. "There is another, similar, story in the book of Judges where men from the city of Gibeah demanded that a male traveler be sent out to them to be raped. The man whose home the traveler is staying in offers the traveler's wife and his own virgin daughter up instead, and the traveler does actually give his wife over to the gang rapists who assault her throughout the night, an assault that results in her death, and that, too, is apparently just and right in your Christian Bible--"

"That's--" Sturdevant tried again.

"The Bible can be used to justify all kinds of bigotry, Dr. Sturdevant, and the death penalty for all manner of things in addition to your favored topic of anal intercourse--blasphemy, disobeying ones parents, cursing ones parents, working on the sabbath, for loss of virginity, for adultery, for having intercourse while a woman is menstruating. The list of things the Christian Bible disapproves of is endless--men wearing their hair long; wearing clothing made of wool and linen; women speaking in church; either sex wearing clothing more appropriate for the other; eating pork; wearing a rounded beard; women braiding their hair or wearing gold or costly clothing-- would anyone here want to live in a world ruled by those tenets?"

"Colonel--" Sturdevant gave it one more try, speaking over Daniel's voice as he looked at Caldwell.

"And to answer your question directly--" Daniel said, holding up one finger to demand Sturdevant's silence "--yes, I have had a male lover, and yes, I have participated in anal intercourse, although I have been celibate since leaving Earth because the man I made a commitment to is not here."

Sturdevant stared at Daniel for a long time after Daniel stopped speaking, as if he were not sure whether Daniel was finished or not. He then resumed his seat beside Worley without another word, wearing the purest look of hatred that Carson had ever seen displayed on any face. Daniel had just managed to make a fool of the man in front of everyone here for Sturdevant's bigotry and ignorance, and he had managed to place a target in the middle of his own back for Sturdevant and his "God Decrees All Sodomites Should Die" faction in the process, as Carson well knew, although Daniel had said some things here that needed badly saying today.

It was Carson's turn next to testify. He responded to Elizabeth's questions, relating the extent of Radek's injuries suffered in the assault. He was surprised when she finished to have Sturdevant ignore him completely as if he were not even on the stand. Carson stared at the top of the man's balding head for a long moment where Sturdevant sat on the padded bench beside Worley, the man now staring down at a page of the Bible in his hands, then Carson turned his eyes to Colonel Caldwell, wondering if he could leave the stand. Caldwell nodded and Carson stepped down to go resume his seat next to Evan, wondering what the bloody hell was coming next.

He didn't have long to wonder. Sturdevant's time had come to present Worley's defense. The first person he called was Hopkins, dressed in another one of his many sets of colored sheets belted about him as if they were robes. They'd tried to keep Hopkins from attending the trial, and had managed to prevent Adria, due to her age and the nature of the charges against Worley, but there was nothing they could do to prevent anyone's appearance if they were called as a witness.

Hopkins, bearded now, his hair uncut since had arrived in this place, and obviously uncombed, looked like the madman that he was as he took a seat at the stand.

"Geoffrey," Sturdevant said, addressing Hopkins by his first name, "what planet are we living on?"

The question was so inane that Carson looked over at Evan, wondering if he had understood it correctly.

"This is Altera," Hopkins said, picking at his sheets with one hand and staring at a space near one wall, not meeting Sturdevant's eyes.

"How did we come to be here?"

This Elizabeth objected to, although Carson could not see the harm in the question. They had ended up here due to a malfunction of the gate, after all.

"God placed us here," Hopkins said, when Caldwell allowed him to answer.

"There are people here from a number of nations of Earth. What nation's law should we follow here?"

"Sergeant Hopkins is hardly qualified to--" Elizabeth began.

Hopkins's eyes came to Sturdevant and he answered before Elizabeth could finish. "The law of God is the only law that matters on this world." His dark eyes looked absolutely mad as he stared at Sturdevant.

"And what is God's law regarding those who commit the abomination of sodomy?"

Elizabeth rose from her seat, trying to put a stop to it before things could progress any further-- but it was already too late. From the corner of his eye, Carson saw a fire spring up, white-hot, at the point to one side of the room where Hopkins had been staring a moment before, a fire that Carson knew they would be unable to extinguish, as they'd been unable to extinguish any that Hopkins had started psychically since his abilities had first begun to manifest here. The fires were one of Hopkins's favorite tricks.

Carson felt people shifting uncomfortably around him.

" _‘If a man lies with a male as with a woman...they shall be put to death...'_ " Hopkins quoted from memory, his voice rising. His mad eyes never left Sturdevant.

"And when Zelenka, the sodomite, attempted to get Major Worley to participate in the abomination of sodomy with him, what should have been Major Worley's response?"

"He should have killed him," Hopkins said, and another flame erupted instantaneously almost where Colonel Caldwell was sitting, silencing the words Caldwell had been beginning to shout to try to silence the man. Caldwell jerked back out of the way, then moved around the blaze and immediately toward Elizabeth where she sat beside Radek--this was not good, not good at all, and Carson could feel it. Hopkins was just getting started. The man was completely insane and fully capable of doing almost anything he thought his God might ask of him.

Caldwell had placed himself between Hopkins and Elizabeth and Radek. He started toward Hopkins, shouting for Ronon, Teal'c, Mitchell, Carter, and Bates to close in as well--one glance around by Hopkins and the six were flying back as if slapped away by a gigantic hand. People were screaming now, some trying to leave the lecture hall, piling up at the doors as Carson realized that they would no longer open.

Evan shoved Carson behind him. Carson saw Daniel do the same to Radek and Sheppard to Rodney across the way, even as the four of them, along with Ronon and Teyla, placed themselves in a protective position between Hopkins and where Penn Kavanagh was trying to shield the very pregnant Lindsey against a wall. Elizabeth was helping Caldwell to his feet, the man cradling an arm that Carson would have bet was fractured. Caldwell didn't seem concerned about the injury, however, instead pushing Elizabeth back to the more protected position alongside Carson. Carolyn was suddenly there as well, as her husband, Caldwell, Teal'c, and Carter closed ranks before them and alongside Evan.

Hopkins was shouting scriptures at the top of his lungs now. His words immediately began to reverberate off the stone walls of the large room as if picked up and repeated by numerous voices. The volume increased until Carson's ears ached, until he could feel it in the base of his skull, vibrating there. Worley still sat at the front, watching everything, and he was laughing. Sturdevant stood between him and Hopkins, his arms outstretched, his eyes fixed on the ceiling overhead as if he thought that Hopkins's tricks were an act of God.

Carson's eyes went toward where he knew Radek would be behind Daniel, wanting to make certain that his patient was unhurt. For all he knew Hopkins might choose to strike the man dead, to exact God's punishment himself after what he had said to Sturdevant--but Carson's gaze locked with that of John Sheppard instead. John was staring at him, staring at him hard, hard enough that Carson could suddenly feel it, itching in the back of his mind like the tug of their shared Ancient gene's connection with Alteran technology. John had allowed Rodney to come up beside him and he turned to look at him now, breaking eye contact with Carson--but Carson could still feel it, growing stronger still as Evan turned to him, Evan who had been born with the gene, as had both John and Carson.

The feeling was growing only stronger, Caldwell turning to Elizabeth, Mitchell to Carolyn, Carter to Teal'c. Across the way, Daniel had turned to meet Radek's eyes, Teyla to meet Ronon's, Penn to meet Lindsey's--Carson did not have to see it to feel it. They each had the gene now, all of them in this group of sixteen, either from birth or through the intervention of Carson's gene therapy. Carson could almost hear their thoughts--almost--whispering at the edges of his consciousness...

 _...the greatest of these..._

 _Love never ends..._

 _...effect can precede cause..._

 _...base eight behind everything..._

 _...made up of lovers and their loves..._

Not thoughts, not really, something more, something less, and Carson could feel the others, Evan clearest of all, the reaching out, the connection to the city around him, and for the first time in his life he didn't fight the gene...

The blow that struck Hopkins drove him from his feet. The flames extinguished immediately. The reverberation of scriptures off the stone walls died away.

 _'The truth--'_ Carson thought, feeling it echoed through the others, and almost before the thought was done a hologram was forming at the front of the lecture hall, the image of Radek pushed face-first against a non-existent wall, Worley holding his arm twisted behind him.

"Always told my old lady that one hole was as good as the other--" echoed in Worley's voice from the air around them, and the hologram Worley was fumbling with Radek's belt as Radek began to fight him.

The real Worley was on his feet now and shouting, "It's not real! They made it up! Zelenka and McKay made it up! That's not what happened!" even as the hologram of the man shoved Radek's hologram face-first over a non-existent desk to yank his pants and boxers down in an obvious attempt to rape him.

The hologram broke apart and reformed to an enlarged image of Worley's face at the front of the room. The thin lips moved as he spoke. "I'm going to fuck him 'til he bleeds," echoed in Worley's voice around them. "I'm going to fuck him 'til he screams. I'm going to fuck him 'til he begs me to kill him so the pain'll stop--"

The hologram winked from existence.

Worley was still shouting. He only fell silent after Sturdevant got in his face and yelled, "In God's name, shut up!"

Silence descended in the room. Carson could hear the doors to the lecture hall suddenly slide open.

But it seemed no one desired to leave any longer.

~~~

It was truly coming home, walking into the quarters Radek had not seen since before the attack. They would be safe here, for the doors would open for no one but Radek and Daniel once they were secured. Carson had reluctantly agreed to allow him to finish his recuperation here--Radek had given him no choice.

"I am going to my quarters," Radek had said once the trial was over.

"Radek--" Carson had begun.

"You cannot stop me," Radek had told him, holding one finger up to silence Carson's continued attempt to argue the point in a manner that reminded even Radek of Daniel in that moment.

"Stubborn Czech," Carson had muttered at him.

"Stubborn Scot," Radek had said in return.

"You need to get some rest," Daniel said now as they walked into the bedroom they shared.

Radek took off his glasses and rubbed his tired eyes. His shoulder throbbed and his head was hurting. He was exhausted beyond belief--but his mind would not stop working. He had to ask.

"What happened in there today?" he asked Daniel as he sat down on his bed. He replaced his glasses to stare at his friend.

Daniel sighed and sat down on his own bed across the way. "I don't know."

"But it was us, I know it was, all of us. I could feel it," Radek said, wanting to hear Daniel confirm the words.

"Yes."

"Do you think we triggered something in city with the Ancient's gene, some technology, or was it--?" he let his words trail away.

Hopkins had attempted no more of his "miracles." Worley had been fairly convicted by a clear majority of their citizens, for they had allowed a vote to each person in their small population today instead of making use of a jury. Worley's friends were demanding the verdict be set aside and that he be tried again, insisting the holograms had been faked by Radek and Rodney--but Sturdevant had withdrawn from Worley's case even before the vote, then had openly voted for Worley's conviction.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," Mitchell had muttered as they watched Sturdevant walk away--which, while a complete non sequitur in that moment, somehow made sense to them all.

Daniel didn't answer Radek's question now. He knew no more than Radek did, after all, as Radek well knew. Instead he said, "Why don't we try kel'no'reem before we go to bed. Maybe it will help you get some sleep."

Getting ready for bed was a slow and painful process with the use of only one hand, but finally Radek managed it. Daniel had already set up thick candles on Radek's bedside table by the time Radek came out of the bathroom, had lit them and turned out the lights. He had also stacked pillows against Radek's headboard, which Radek sank back against gratefully.

"Is it okay--" Daniel began, motioning toward the foot of Radek's bed as Radek drew his legs up under him so that he could sit more comfortably.

"Yes, of course," Radek said, knowing what he meant. Daniel settled down before him on the mattress with his legs folded beneath him. They stared at each other a moment, then both closed their eyes, and Radek began the slow relaxation and focusing process that Daniel had taught him that could lead to kel'no'reem. It was becoming easier each time they did this, Radek's ability to reach that waking sleep, feeling his mind open up to begin to dream in a manner completely unlike the dreams he had at night. He was aware of the pain in his body, but he no longer hurt. He could feel his heartbeat. He could feel the pulse of blood through his veins, the movement of air around him. He was somewhere else, everywhere. No where. And Daniel was with him, in every fiber of his being, in the stone walls around him and the feel of the bed on which they sat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Author note: "Aequalis Libra," the title of this chapter, is the Latin basis for our English word "equilibrium," meaning balance, or the stability that results from balance--"aequalis," meaning equal or even, and "libra" meaning balance or weight.)_


	21. Tipping Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stranded in the past on the Alteran homeworld, eight couples come to realize there is something special about them, something that could have repercussions far into the future.

Escape was the only thing on Ronon Dex's mind.

He met Rodney's eyes and angled his head toward the doorway. No one was watching them at this moment. If they made their move now...

Even before Rodney could so much as twitch, John's hand closed around his wrist.

"Rodney," he said in that warning tone, his eyes--closed a moment before--meeting those of his spouse now.

"I have things I need to be doing," Rodney said, definitely twitching now.

John stared at him.

"Oh, come on now, you hate meditating as much as I do. I remember what you said after being stuck with the Ancients in that time dilation field for six months with nothing to do but meditate." Rodney gave John a sour look.

"It's for your own good," John told him.

Ronon looked over to find Teyla staring at him, a look on her face that said clearly she knew he had been behind the intended escape. She had been fascinated by the kel'no'reem meditation she had seen Daniel and Radek using in the infirmary to help manage Radek's pain. Teal'c had agreed to teach it to her, and Ronon had been roped into coming along. They'd been having breakfast with John, Rodney, Carson, and Evan at the time and Carson had suggested Rodney might try it as well to help lower his blood pressure. Rodney had refused, but John had insisted, so now here they were, the four of them, a week after Worley's trial, sitting on the floor in Teal'c and Sam Carter's living quarters, staring at each other by candle light.

"Kel'no'reem requires silence," Teal'c said, staring at them disapprovingly.

"I was in the middle of an experiment in my lab," Rodney said, motioning with one thumb back in the general direction of the Research Complex. He fidgeted again.

"I'm not good at sitting and doing nothing," Ronon said, then started to rise to his feet, determined to leave now that his opinion was out in the open. He would make it up to Teyla later.

Teal'c ignored Rodney, knowing fully well, as Ronon did, that John Sheppard would never let him out of this if it might be good for his health.

Teal'c stared at Ronon instead. "Perhaps Satedan warriors are incapable of achieving kel'no'reem," he said, and Ronon stopped half-way up to stare at him. There was a clear look of challenge in Teal'c's eyes.

Ronon settled back down.

Teal'c nodded after a moment and looked around at the four of them. "Relax. Focus on the center of your mind--" he began again the instructions he had given them earlier.

Ronon closed his eyes--relax. How was he supposed to relax? Relaxing was what got people killed.

Focus he could handle. Teyla wanted him to do this. She would do this easily, reaching the waking sleep Teal'c had described.

Rodney said something again and John silenced him, but Ronon ignored them, concentrating on Teyla instead. Thoughts of Teyla. Teyla wanted him to do this. He rolled his shoulders, feeling tension beginning to bleed away from his upper body. Maybe--

The door from the hallway slid back. Ronon opened his eyes, finding Sam Carter there in the doorway with Mitchell right behind her. There was a look of concern on both her face and Mitchell's. Sam's hand was resting on the butt her gun.

"You were off radio--we need you all in the lecture hall. Now." She turned and left the doorway without another word.

"Oh, crap," John said, meeting Ronon's eye. This could not be good.

~~~

The interior of the lecture hall reminded Elizabeth painfully of the night they had arrived on this planet. Back then people had been working together, seeing to the wounded, getting themselves to shelter, trying to find out where they were in the universe. Now a number of those same people were gathered at one end of the large room, some shouldering their packs, others with bags resting on the stone floor at their feet, many of them not meeting her eyes. Others stood around watching, waiting to see what would happen. It looked as if the majority of their population was here again, as on the day of the trial, though for vastly different reasons.

"What's going on?" John asked when he and the others arrived.

"Sturdevant announced this morning that God had instructed him to lead His people out of ‘Babylon,'" Stephen said, where he stood nearby with Carson, Evan, and Carolyn. They had not seen or heard from Dr. Sturdevant in almost a week, not since the evening of the trial. Elizabeth had become concerned about him after she learned he had not shown up for meals in several days, and had sent Kagan, Barasso, and two other marines to check on him, only to have the men rebuffed at the door of the room Sturdevant was now sharing with Hopkins with shouts of "sons of Sodom!" ringing in their ears.

"‘Lead His people out of Babylon,'" Rodney repeated, sounding as astounded as Elizabeth felt. "If this city is Babylon, where does he think he's taking them? Are they going to go live in a cave in the woods and eat bark?"

Elizabeth sighed and shook her head. "Sturdevant said God directed him to a quadrant at the very edge of the city, pretty much nothing but spartan living quarters surrounded by gardens."

"So God approves of Babylon's suburbs, just not the city proper," Mitchell remarked sarcastically.

Rodney opened his mouth to say something, but Elizabeth cut him off with, "Gentlemen, please," because her head was hurting already and she didn't think she could take anything more. She turned to look at the group waiting again, hugging her arms, suddenly cold. "This is a mistake," she said, knowing they all understood. A rift in their population. Religious extremists on one side, science and more liberal thought on the other. This was the very formula for the Ori to come into existence, the one thing they had hoped to avoid in this universe--and they were watching it happen before them.

She started across the room, still hugging her arms for warmth. Stephen called her name, but she did not turn to look at him. She couldn't just stand back and watch this happen without doing anything.

"Please, listen to me," she said, hugging her arms all the while. She felt the others move up behind her. "We all know where we are, and we know the point we're at in history. We may not know where this city came from, but we do know the history the Altera lived out here--that we will live out here, if we're not careful. The Altera in our universe, from our own past, were once one great race, a race that fractured apart to create the Ancients and the Ori, two races that spent tens of millions of years trying to destroy or control each other and all of mankind all the way up to the time we were born. For God's sake, we can't repeat the same--"

"How dare you ask for anything for the sake of God!"

The voice cracked across the lecture hall, silencing her words. Sturdevant was suddenly there, walking slowly into the room, leaning on a cane that he had not needed the week before, in his other hand holding a closed Bible. Hopkins was beside him. Sturdevant was gaunt, and looked as if he had not slept in recent memory, his eyes were haunted, with dark shadows beneath them. His skin had a gray cast. His hair was almost completely gone now, and what was left--black only the week before--was ghostly white and wispy now. He looked like a man who had seen hell, and lived to talk about it, who had wasted away from health to scarecrow in only a week, his clothes hanging off him, his face now a living death mask, a skull with skin stretched across it.

"Dr. Sturdevant--" Elizabeth said, concerned about him. She started toward the man, as did both their physicians, Carson and Carolyn. She couldn't understand how he could even be walking. He looked too ill.

"Keep back from me, harlots of Babylon, son of Sodom," Sturdevant said--and Elizabeth felt a pressure in the middle of her chest, pushing her backwards. Her feet slid on the stone flooring. She grabbed for Carolyn, who was sliding back as well, and held on as Carson, sliding also, grabbed hold of both of them to keep them on their feet. Stephen was suddenly there, his good arm around her, his solid presence welcome at her back as Cam and Evan did the same for Carolyn and Carson. The pressure released her as the start of fear moved through her that Sturdevant might hurt the baby she was carrying, or Carolyn's. Elizabeth caught sight of Adria, standing near one wall, alone for once, her mother and the guards no where within sight, the girl's eyes taking in everything. Adria had gotten to Sturdevant, either directly, or through Hopkins; Elizabeth knew that now.

The others moved in between Sturdevant and where Elizabeth, Carolyn, and Carson stood braced against their spouses. Elizabeth could suddenly feel the beginning of the same connection as the day of the trial, the same energy as when they stopped Hopkins--then felt it strengthen as if a circuit had been completed as she saw the transporter doors slide open across the way to reveal Radek, Daniel, Lindsey, and Penn, who was only half-dressed, his shirt missing and his long, curly hair loose from it's accustomed braid.

Sturdevant must have felt it as well. His eyes moved to the four before the transporter, then back to Elizabeth and the others before him. For a long moment he did not say anything. When he did, he turned to speak to those gathered there waiting for him, and those watching.

" _‘And Jesus being full of the Holy Ghost returned from Jordan, and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered. And the devil said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, command this stone that it be made bread,'_ " Sturdevant quoted.

"Luke, chapter four," Mitchell said quietly from nearby where he stood with his arms around Carolyn.

" _‘And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God. And the devil, taking him up into an high mountain, shewed unto him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. And the devil said unto him, All this power will I give thee, and the glory of them: for that is delivered unto me; and to whomsoever I will I give it. If thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be thine. And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan...'_ "

Again for a moment he fell silent, leaning on his cane.

"We have been lied to, held in darkness," he said, his sunken, haunted eyes moving from person to person from that skeletal face. Elizabeth could only imagine what he'd been put through, perhaps truly ripped from time for forty days, or perhaps a lifetime that could have passed as the blink of an eye to the others on this planet.

A thin line of drool escaped from the side of his mouth and he wiped it away. His eyes moved to Elizabeth, to Stephen, then slowly around to the others out of their core group of sixteen as Radek, Daniel, Lindsey, and Penn came to join them.

" _‘I will shew unto thee the judgment of the great whore that sitteth upon many waters....'_ " Sturdevant said now, his eyes returning to settle on Elizabeth again. " _‘...I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet colored beast, full of names of blasphemy....And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet color...And upon her forehead was a name written, Mystery, Babylon the Great, The Mother of Harlots and Abominations of the Earth....Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues....and she shall be utterly burned with fire: for strong is the Lord God who judgeth her.'_ "

He hooked the cane over his arm and opened the Bible in his hands to a page he had marked with a torn slip of paper. He stared down at it a moment, then returned his eyes to Elizabeth.

" _‘...call ye on the name of your gods, and I will call on the name of the Lord: and the God that answereth by fire, let him be God,'_ " he said, and immediately the Bible in his hands burst into flames. He held it, even as people stepped back. Elizabeth could feel that connection to the others in her mind, and the joint decision, _do nothing_. She did not know what they had done to stop Hopkins that week before, just that they had done it, that they could do it again now if they chose, but she also knew beyond certainty that to act now could make matters only worse. Many of their people might have the gene, and might have first-hand experience with the seemingly magical things the gene could do with the aid of Ancient technology--but their people had seen too much magic, too much hocus-pocus, too many strange things since setting foot on this world.

Sturdevant lowered his face until it was in the flames, until they covered his skin, and the flames shot up until it seemed his head was burning--someone screamed and several men started to step forward to stop him.

Sturdevant lowered the burning Bible from his face and the flames died away. He was unhurt, as was the book before him.

But he had accomplished what he wanted.

His eyes moved over those gathered there before him. Elizabeth allowed her gaze to move over them as well, many of them her people--her responsibility--now for more than two and a half years. A sick feeling settling in the pit of her stomach as she saw belief on the faces of so many, belief that Hopkins had not been able to engender, for he had not been a man of God before his conversion to what Elizabeth knew beyond doubt would become the Ori religion one day.

"Come out of Babylon, and I will make you safe," Sturdevant said, then turned and slowly started toward the transporter without a backward look.

To Elizabeth's absolute heartbreak, all too many people of their people followed him.

~~~

When the transporter doors closed on the last group to leave, Radek met Elizabeth's eyes. Their remaining citizens were beginning to disburse. He knew they would need to get a head count, to figure out who all they had lost, but that could wait for a few hours at least.

"How did you know?" Elizabeth asked, her eyes moving from Radek, to Daniel, to Lindsey and Penn.

"We--could feel it," Radek said, turning to look at Daniel. They had felt it. The same thing they'd felt a week before. They'd known something was wrong that involved the other members of their tightly knit group. He and Daniel had started immediately from their quarters, only to meet Penn and Lindsey in the hallway outside their door.

"Base eight," Rodney said quietly, and Radek turned to look at him. It was a complete non sequitur.

Rodney was staring at John.

"What?" Radek asked, certain he had misunderstood. The phrase ‘base eight behind everything' had been running through his head for the past week, like a song stuck on a loop in his mind that he could not get rid of, along with bits and pieces of two of the quotes they'd found carved on walls near the stargate, and the noncausality phrase ‘effect can precede cause.' It had been damned annoying, haunting even the times he and Daniel had been in kel'no'reem.

"Do you think--?" Rodney asked John, ignoring Radek completely.

"But there are sixteen, not eight--" John said.

"Eight couples--" Rodney's eyebrows rose.

"Yeah." John seemed to be considering something.

"What?" Radek asked again. He hated it when they did this. ‘Base eight behind everything' would be running through his head forever after this.

"But what--" John began.

"Maybe it has something to do with an octal scale, an operating frequency--"

"It is the math behind Ancient tech." John's brows were wrinkled.

"Rodney--" Elizabeth tried. He ignored her, too.

"You know, it could--"

Mitchell let go with an ear-splitting whistle, two fingers in his mouth. They all turned to stare at him. "Okay, boys, why don't you back it up and tell us what you're talking about?" he said, staring at Rodney and John.

They both turned to look at him as if just realizing he and the others were still there. "Oh--uh--" Rodney said "--it's just, we've been noticing this thing about base eight mathematics." He glanced over at John.

"It's like base eight is--" John began.

But Lindsey Kavanagh finished for him "--behind everything."

Radek turned to stare at her. "How did you know?" he asked. She only stared at him a moment, as if embarrassed to have gotten into the middle of this. Everyone was staring at her now. She placed her hands atop her very pregnant belly and looked over at her husband.

Penn gathered his long hair back into one hand as if it were bothering him, then let it go to spring back out in curls as he apparently had nothing to secure it with. "We've had this phrase stuck in our heads for days--"

"Base eight behind everything," Radek said, astounded.

"Yes--"

A general murmur of agreement moved through all of them.

"And ‘...effect can precede cause...,'" Lindsey offered. Penn nodded in agreement.

"‘Love never ends...'" Carson said.

"‘...the greatest of these...'" Carolyn and Sam said together, then looked at each other.

"‘...made up of lovers and their loves...'" Daniel said, and Radek met his eyes.

Radek stared at him for a moment. " _Svatý materský ze Buh_ ," he breathed. Those were the phrases that had been stuck in his head for days, each and every one of them. To hear them come from the lips of the others--

"This is impossible," Elizabeth said, looking up at Caldwell.

"This whole fucking place is impossible--ow!" Mitchell said, wincing and taking hold of his upper right arm as his wife backhanded it hard for his choice of words. "Sorry ladies," he said, looking around at Lindsey, Elizabeth, Teyla, and Sam, seeming suitably contrite after Carolyn's reprimand.

"Those have been repeating in my mind ever since the day of the trial," Teyla said.

"Yeah, mine too." Ronon was staring down at her.

"We thought it was just us," Rodney said, his eyes on John. "We'd been working on the base eight thing for months. It does seem to be behind everything--Ancient technology, the expansion of the universe, maybe even a final grand theory of unification--and we'd talked about reverse causality the first night we were here--"

"And the love stuff--with us--" John motioned between himself and Rodney. What he'd said on its own did not make any sense, but Radek understood.

"Two of the phrases are from the 1st Corinthians quote on the wall near the gate," Sam said.

"The other is from Plato's Symposium; it's also on a wall near the gate," Daniel said. " _‘...if there were only some way of contriving that a state or an army should be made up of lovers and their loves...'_ " His voice trailed away on final word as he stared at Radek, the most peculiar look coming to his face.

"Daniel?" Radek asked, concerned.

Daniel stared at him for a moment longer, then started to turn away. He stopped and made a round-up motion with one finger for all of them to follow him before he continued on toward the door that exited from the lecture hall. Radek followed, the others coming along behind him. He was pretty certain he knew where they were going, to the wall where that quote was carved, and Daniel lead them directly there, to stand staring at the curved, black stone surface that held the words in language after language:

‘ _...if there were only some way of contriving that a state or an army should be made up of lovers and their loves, they would be the very best governors of their own city, abstaining from all dishonor, and emulating one another in honor; and when fighting at each other's side, although a mere handful, they would overcome the world...._ '

"It was the inspiration for ancient Earth's Sacred Band of Thebes," Daniel said quietly, staring at the carving on the wall, "an army made up of lovers and their loves, put together because it was believed, according to Plutarch, _‘a band cemented by friendship grounded upon love is never to be broken.'_ "

Radek stared at Daniel a moment, then returned his eyes to the wall, thinking. For some reason his mind turned to the quote carved on the walls in the conference room just off the lecture hall, the quote Rodney and John--and so many of the others--had stood before when they married, and then to the quote from 1st Corinthians carved on the black stone wall nearest to the stargate, the quote that had also provided phrases that had run through his mind over recent days.

"Someone is trying to tell us something," he said quietly, never taking his eyes from the words before him.

"Yeah," John said from where he stood beside Rodney, "but who?"

~~~

"Why the quotes?" Mitchell asked late that evening as he, Carolyn, Radek, and Daniel sat together in the mess hall eating dinner. "If whoever built this place had something they wanted to tell whoever it was that came along behind them, why not leave a clear message instead of a bunch of quotes?"

"Us," Radek said, absently stirring the vegetable stew in the bowl before him. He felt everyone looking at him and lifted his eyes. "They knew it would be us--the Earth anachronisms, the personal items in my and Daniel's quarters--whoever it was, they knew it would be us."

"Then that begs the question even more--why not leave us a note, carved on a wall or thumbtacked to a door: ‘Dear Atlantis refugees, welcome to Altera. You're fifty-million years in the past at the ass-end of the universe. Be careful of the crazies among you--and, by the way, if you have eight pairs of lovers who are the best of friends at the heart of your civilization, it might come in handy.'"

Radek met Daniel's eyes across the table but didn't say anything. He and Daniel weren't lovers, but he saw no reason to disabuse Mitchell of the notion. After what Worley had tried to do to him, how close he'd come to being raped, and the beating he had taken that day, he didn't think he would ever be interested in sex again. He'd flashed back to the beating he and Milos had taken over and over again during what Worley had done to him, to the night Milos died, to the point he had felt the sting of blood in his eyes again, the cold of the asphalt beneath his cheek, the pain of the prybar being brought down on him over and over again, until it seemed as if it had just happened again, as if Milos had just been ripped from him.

Besides, there were too many other things to think about right now--like the fact they had just lost seventeen percent of their already too-small population to what Radek knew would one day become the Ori. Radek had seen the lifesign readings provided by the city's sensors, the two groups, one in a quadrant at the very edge of the city, the other here in the central part of Altera, readings that had only been confirmed by the headcount they had finished no more than an hour before--seventeen percent of their population, people they could not afford to lose, lost to fervent though misguided religious beliefs, or simple hatred of those in the chain of command here.

Worley's friends, Elberg, McGahn, Petrie, and Aames, were among that latter group. They had spent the last week demanding that Worley be retried, accusing Radek and Rodney of having falsified the holograms that had led to his conviction. Their demands had failed, and now they'd gone with Sturdevant's group, leaving Worley to rot alone in the detention cell.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish," Sam had said when she'd learned they were gone. Radek had to agree, but he was also worried at what those homophobic _neandrtálec_ could stir up among the people Radek knew would one day become the Ori--what if their hatred of Radek and those who had supported him became the very basis of the Ori's determination to wipe out the Altera? That was a sobering thought.

To all their surprise, they had discovered that Adria had remained in the heart of the city with her mother.

"Keep your friends close but your enemies closer," Caldwell had said when he'd been told she was still among them.

Whether that had been his belief as to her motives, or his own assessment of the value of having her where they could still keep an eye on her, Radek did not know or really care.

Daniel had obviously been thinking about Mitchell's question regarding the quotes. "Ascended beings won't interfere in the lower planes of existence," he said now. "The Ori grant advanced human abilities to the Priors, men who've chosen and accepted that path, and the Priors use those powers to try to convince humans that the Ori are gods to be worshiped, but the Ori themselves aren't allowed to directly interfere in the lives of human beings. Maybe the quotes are the same thing for the other side, a means to give information to allow us to choose a path of our own without their direct interference."

"But if we're the forerunners of the Ancients, and no one has ascended at this time, then where did the quotes--" Mitchell began. He looked confused.

"‘...effect can precede cause...'" Radek quoted to him--one of the damned phrases that had been running through all their heads for days.

Mitchell nodded and pointed a finger at him in agreement. "Yep--forgot that one for a minute."

"Free will," Carolyn said, drawing their attention. She was staring at Daniel. "They can give us choices, information, nudge us in one direction or another, but they either can't or won't take away our free will."

"Yeah," Daniel nodded.

Mitchell sat back in his chair. "So you think some Ancient is behind all this?" he asked, motioning to the city around them.

"No, I don't, not really," Daniel answered, both his eyebrows rising. "This is too deliberate, too pointed, far too specific. That's not how they operate."

Even Oma Desala, Radek knew. He and Daniel had discussed the possibilities at length on many nights when they'd been alone in their quarters. Oma did try to interfere, and was allowed to do so to a degree, but she was more _if you know the candle is burning then the food is already prepared_ , or something like that. The ascended they'd met were nothing if not obscure. What they had here on Altera was deliberate information, a deliberate message, designed for them alone through the quotes and anachronisms they'd found here, whether Mitchell saw it that way or not.

"So, who?" Mitchell asked, the big question they'd all been asking since the day they had arrived on this planet.

"I haven't the foggiest idea," Daniel said.

That summed up Radek's feelings exactly.

~~~

Teyla was unusually silent when she and Ronon reached their quarters that night. Ronon kept watching her as she did the stretching exercises she did every evening, and as she took her hair down from what he'd heard Weir call a ‘ponytail' so she could brush it. They'd assisted with the count of their remaining people here in the heart of the city, then had escorted Penn and Lindsey Kavanagh back to their quarters from where they had been checking the equipment that monitored the time dilation field. Lindsey had stopped just after they'd exited the transporter, smiling and reaching for Penn's hand to place it on her pregnant belly where she'd apparently felt their baby kick.

"Feel that," she'd said, pressing his open hand to her side.

Ronon had watched them, still amazed that he'd gotten to be friendly with the two of them, for they were as different from him as any two people could be. He'd also come damn close to torturing Penn for information once when they'd suspected him of being a saboteur on Atlantis, something Ronon had apologized for since, though he had apologized for few things in his life.

Lindsey had noticed Teyla watching them, and asked. "Would you like to feel?" then had reached to take Teyla's hand to place it where Penn's had been only a moment before.

A look of absolute wonder had come over Teyla's face an instant later. "That's the baby?" she'd asked, smiling broadly, making Ronon love her all the more--he did love her, even if she was driving him insane with a need she wasn't ready to fulfill. They'd been sharing quarters for months now, ever since Sam had moved into Ronon's former quarters to be with Teal'c. Ronon and Teyla shared living space, but not a bed, for, to Teyla, to share their bodies meant having children. Ronon had tried to explain there were other things they could do, ways they could give pleasure without risking childbearing--Teyla knew that, but it was not the Athosian way, and though she might be the only Athosian in this universe, she would forever be the product of her people.

Teyla had gone into the bathroom to change into her sleep garments, and she came out now to slide between the sheets of her bed, watching as Ronon removed his shirt. The first night they'd shared quarters he had walked out of the bathroom naked after he'd taken a shower, for nudity had been nothing among his people on Sateda--Teyla had been shocked, for Athosians were more private with their bodies. He had learned very quickly that the people of Athos and Sateda were different in so many ways.

Some things were the same though. She liked to look at him when he wasn't wearing his shirt. He'd learned that almost immediately, the way her eyes would follow his body.

He tossed his shirt aside and went to sit down on the edge of her bed to run a thumb over the soft skin on the inside of her arm just beneath the elbow--so soft, softer than any woman he'd ever known, even though she was also the strongest, both in her body and soul. She was probably the only person on this planet, other than Teal'c, who would have any chance to best him in a fair fight.

"You're being very quiet," he said.

Her fingers had moved to stroke the healed Wraith feeding scar in the center of his chest, as she often did when they were alone like this. Her eyes followed the movement of her fingers. "I am?"

"Yes." So soft. His thumb traced a pattern on her skin.

"It's just--it's such a miracle, Lindsey and Penn's baby, Elizabeth and Stephen's, Carolyn and Cam's." Her eyes continued to watch the movement of her fingers. "They will grow up without fear of the Wraith. They'll have children, and their children will have children. They'll grow old. They'll never be culled."

"There are the Ori, or what will be the Ori," Ronon reminded her. They had today seen what the others were certain was the Ori's beginning in this universe, after all.

"But that's different," she said, her eyes coming to his at last, although her fingers continued to trace the feeding scar. "The Wraith were powerful. They had ships and weapons and their numbers were overwhelming. They could do whatever they wanted to my people and yours, to planet after planet, and all we could do was to try to survive in enough numbers to begin again after each culling--these Ori are different. They come from us; we are just as strong as they are."

"Yes," Ronon said. She stared at him a moment.

"Does it bother you?" she asked at last, her eyes fixed on his.

"Does what bother me?" He thought maybe she meant the healed scar on his chest. He reached to capture her fingers where they continued to touch it to bring them to his lips instead.

"That there is Wraith DNA in my genetic makeup, that if we have children--if I have children-- some part of the Wraith will live on in them."

And suddenly he understood. Everything.

"Teyla--no--by all that--" he bent his head to press her hand to his cheek. After a moment he brought his eyes to her again. "I love you. That's all that matters. You're not Wraith."

"But they're in me. Back in our own galaxy, it had some value. I could warn my people. I could sense when they were coming, which could keep you and John and Rodney alive when we were offworld. Here--"

"It doesn't matter--do you think I care what's in some little part of your DNA. For all we know, it could me in mine, too. There had to be some reason they stopped feeding off me the one time they tried, that they made me a runner instead."

She only stared at him.

"I want to be the father of our children. I want to see you and me in them. I want to teach our sons and daughters to be strong. I want a family with you--and I don't care about the Wraith and the Ori and any other enemy we might find."

She looked at him for a long moment. Her eyes moved away, then back again. "My father raised me after my mother was taken by the Wraith. He was a strong and good man. I always thought if I ever had a son I'd like to name him after him."

"What was his name?" Ronon asked.

"Torren."

"Torren," Ronon repeated, smiling and nodding. "That's a good name."

He didn't want to ask, to take anything for granted.

When she slid back on her narrow bed and drew him down to her, he knew they would be okay.


	22. Renaissance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gremlins in the wiring, Rodney and Radek arguing, someone is keeping secrets, and Carson and Lorne have a big surprise for everyone.

"Are you out of your mind?" Rodney demanded, turning completely away from the control panel he had just opened in a wall in Carson's lab. He glared at Radek's back where Radek sat at the far side of the room working before a data terminal. They were supposed to be trying to find out why there had been intermittent power fluctuations in this lab over the past few weeks that had been causing problems with some of the equipment in here. "It's quantum entanglement--and so help me if you bring up holographic principles again--"

"Then you explain it," Radek shot back, turning around as well. His hair was flying all over the place today. "Each time you divide a holographic image into two parts you don't get two halves but two smaller copies of the whole image. The whole is in the parts. Non-locality isn't even an issue. There is no need for entanglement because distance doesn't even exist--"

John looked to the side to meet Daniel's gaze where they sat at a table to one side of the room out of the way of the work Rodney and Radek were supposed to be doing, then glanced across toward Dr. Simpson, the botanist who had been researching the medicinal use of some plant with Carson over recent weeks. Simpson's blond head was bent over a specimen tray at a work station. He seemed to be completely ignoring Rodney and Radek, which was probably a good thing. This argument had been going on for more than two weeks now, coming up each time the two managed to find themselves in the same room for more than a few minutes, becoming more and more heated as they fought out a bloody battle on the grounds of theoretical physics.

And John knew they were loving every minute of it.

They'd been on the planet now for 670 days, which Sam Carter said was slightly more than a year and a half here due to Altera's orbit around its star. They'd seen four complete seasons melting gradually one into another because Altera had a wobble on its axis just as Earth did. In Earth-equivalent time--which Daniel alone out of all the people here seemed determined to keep track of--they would be approaching their second anniversary on the planet in about another week.

And John Sheppard was happy.

As much as they had hoped to never see their society fracture apart here to allow any chance for the Ori to come into existence in this universe, that fracture, now more than a year in the past, had proven to be one of the best things that had happened for the civilization they were building here in the heart of the city. Sturdevant's group had absorbed pretty much every known homophobe, whackjob, and malcontent they had, except for Worley, who was still locked up in the detention cell beneath the lecture hall. John and Rodney were living safely in the midst of a civilization that uniformly recognized and supported their right to love each other, and--while reports held that Sturdevant and his followers were growing more and more devoted to their religious beliefs isolated in their quadrant at the edge of the city, and that those beliefs were straying further and further from recognizable Christianity as Sturdevant brought them in line with what he now called "God's original intent for mankind"--the civilization they were enjoying here in the heart of Altera was flourishing.

They had welcomed the first children born on this planet--Penn and Lindsey's son William, who was already a toddler, Elizabeth and Caldwell's son Stephen, Jr., better known as Stevie, Cam and Carolyn's daughter Ava, and just recently Teal'c and Sam's daughter Jessica, along with several babies born to couples outside their core group of sixteen. Penn and Lindsey were expecting again and John knew Ronon and Teyla were doing nothing to prevent a pregnancy, although it had not happened for them yet. A sizeable number of marriages had taken place in their small population, most recently that of Lieutenant Kagan and Sergeant Barosso, two male marines who had only been buddies and teammates before arriving on Altera. The moon humans they kept watch over were doing well; their population was healthy and growing and had already reached the level of a pre-industrialized society inside their time dilation field.

Duty shifts had been diminished, and some jobs, such as food preparation, permanently assigned to the volunteers who were best suited and willing. The library and museums were in frequent use. Research was going on in every discipline. The arts were flourishing as they discovered they had writers, artists and musicians among their population who were already at work creating a culture here that was all their own. Daniel and Elizabeth said the time they were living in here at the heart of Altera had already become a renaissance in science, learning, and the arts that surpassed anything their own human history had known. Carson and Carolyn were crediting that renaissance for the noted increase synaptic activity found in so many in their population over the past year, most notably in those who regularly practiced kel'no'reem, and most sharply notable in those who always kel'no'reemed with their spouse, significant other, or closest friend. Each of their eight core couples--who had by now been recognized as the governing council of Altera with Elizabeth and Caldwell at their head--now kel'no'reemed together daily, and the practice was spreading rapidly through their small population. Even the most stubbornly resistant among them were coming to accept they were truly a people on an evolutionary path toward ascension-- which was exactly what had started the arguments between Rodney and Radek. The two were debating the physics behind ascension, and, beyond that, of reality itself.

John had heard both sides of the argument so often over the past weeks that he could have stated both sides word for word, and it surprised him to realize that he actually understood much of the theoretical physics and concepts behind both arguments. Maybe he really had been spending too much time with Rodney and Radek while they were working, but, then again, there was no place in this universe or any other that he'd rather be. The day before he and Daniel had gotten into a side debate over who was actually right, a debate that had resulted in a bet of two years' pay between them. The fact that they actually didn't get paid, and that money had no value on Altera, didn't really matter. It was the principle of the thing. That and the fact that John knew damned well the math behind Rodney's idea clearly worked out.

Rodney was becoming truly irritated now. "You can't just dismiss the laws of physics because they contradict your theory," Rodney said. "Next thing we know you'll be quoting William Blake, _‘To see the world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour...'_ " he said in his most derisive tone.

 _Oh, good one_ \--John thought. Sometimes it surprised him the things that Rodney could come up with to use in the midst of an argument.

"Exactly!" Radek said, suddenly excited. He bounced up on the balls of his feet and right back down again. "What if reality, the universe, is really like that--everything connected, the world in grain of sand, eternity in each instant, all of everything interwoven, the whole in each part, just as in a hologram, with the mind of the observer, the consciousness, most important. What if ascension is rising above that, understanding that on conscious level--"

"Metaphysics and mumbo-jumbo--you've been hanging around Daniel too much--"

Daniel had been sitting with his chin in his hand, his elbow resting on the desk before him. That hand dropped away now as he stared across the room at Rodney. John almost laughed. Radek opened his mouth to respond, but then apparently took note for the first time of the control panel that Rodney had opened in the wall behind where he now stood.

"I told you that isn't problem, to leave that alone," he said, crossing to Rodney to shut the panel in his face. He then turned to stare at Rodney with his arms crossed across his chest, a defiant expression on his features.

"Now, listen--!" Rodney said, pointing a finger only inches before Radek's nose. Even Dr. Simpson had looked up from the specimen tray at his work station, turning slightly in his chair to stare at the two other scientists.

"Boys, play nice," John warned, getting to his feet. He'd never seen them come to blows, but, then again...

"Good lord," Carson said, coming into the lab with Evan just behind him, "I can bloody well hear you two all the way down the hallway. Can't you--" He never finished what he was saying because all the lights in the lab went out.

John was staring at Rodney an instant later when they came back on again. "Did you--?" Rodney began, meeting John's eyes.

"Turn the lights off and back on?--no," John told him.

They went off again almost immediately.

"I didn't do that, either," John said before Rodney could ask him. He did ‘think' them back on, however, and told Rodney he had done so.

"That's what I was telling you about," Carson said, sounding frustrated, his accent thickening on each word, "the lights in here have been going off and on for days, equipment starting up by itself. Yesterday I came in and found music playing from the database--Barry-bloody-Manilow-- every time I'd turn it off, it would come back on again. It's like gremlins in the wiring--well, that is, if there was wiring here for gremlins to be living in."

Rodney had taken the opportunity while Radek was distracted to open the control panel in the wall again. He was alternating looking inside it with looking at readings on the datapad in his hands. The expression on his face told John that he didn't like what he was seeing.

To John's great surprise, it was Carson who reached up and closed the control panel this time. "Leave that alone, Rodney. It doesn't concern you," he said.

"Doesn't concern me?" Rodney said, staring at Carson with an astounded look on his face. "Someone's changed the control pathways in this panel--" There was an accusatory tone in his voice.

"I did, Rodney," Radek said. "That is not the problem."

"Not the problem?" Rodney repeated, staring at Radek now, the irritation returning in full force. "So, that's how it is. You screw up, get me down here to figure out what you've messed up without even telling me you've done it, and can't even admit--"

"That's not--" Radek began, but Rodney interrupted him.

"Shut up a minute," he demanded, staring down at the datapad again. He touched the screen a few times, then turned and started slowly across the lab staring down at the device. It looked as if he were following some sort of reading. John saw Radek exchange a look with Carson and Evan, then Daniel. They suddenly looked just like four men who had been caught doing something they'd rather not have been caught doing. John stared at them, as did Simpson, who seemed to have completely forgotten the specimen tray on his workstation now. The man had turned completely around in his chair to watch the proceedings.

Carson sighed and shared a bit of a smile with Evan, then Radek, and then followed Rodney across the lab. Evan, Radek, and Daniel followed him. John went to join Rodney as Rodney stared at the datapad, then raised his eyes to a piece of equipment he had stopped to stand before, something that looked like nothing else so much as a tall, opaque column with a round bulge in its middle.

"There are lifesign readings from inside," Rodney said, turning to stare at Carson. "Human lifesign readings. The control pathways have been rerouted to supply primary energy with two backup support failsafes for whatever is in here."

"Aye, they have," Carson said, his entire manner changing as he smiled, "and, aye, there are human lifesign readings inside. It happens to be my daughter, Rodney--"

"Our daughter," Evan corrected him, moving up to put an arm around Carson.

Carson looked over at his husband. "Our daughter," he amended, his smile broadening.

"Daughter--" John and Rodney said together. Rodney sounded as dumbfounded as John felt.

Carson moved to the laptop on a nearby workstation and hit a few keystrokes before turning it toward them. "Meet Miss Katie Margaret," he said, and John stared in wonder at the image before him, a baby, obviously still in utero, although obviously not far from birth. "She's eight months," Carson said, as if reading his mind, "a healthy, normal little girl." He sounded every bit the proud father.

Rodney sank down into the chair at the workstation, staring at the screen. "Your daughter," he said, very quietly. "But--how?" he asked, looking up at Carson, the astounded look still on his face. "Yours and Evans? Together? I mean--really yours."

"Aye," Carson answered, "really ours."

Evan had moved closer to look down at his daughter's image as well. Carson wrapped both arms around him to stand with his chest to Evan's back, looking over his shoulder as they both stared down at the screen.

"I found a way to combine the DNA of two male parents," Carson said. "Katie is the first result." Then he looked over at John with a smile. "The same thing will work for other same- sex couples here, too. We're already working on additional artificial wombs."

John stared at Carson, getting the message--him and Rodney? He turned his eyes to where Rodney still sat staring at the screen, that look of absolute astonishment on Rodney's face. John could not even imagine it. Him and Rodney have a child. Him and Rodney together in another human being. Rodney McKay being a parent. No, he couldn't imagine it. Rodney hated children. Rodney hated people in general except for those he let the closest to him. He was terrible most especially with kids. No, that wasn't going to happen. John might have always wanted a family, to be a father, but it wasn't going to happen with Rodney, and he was content with that. Rodney was enough for him.

Rodney turned in his chair to stare up Carson. "You didn't ask me to help with the technology? I'm the foremost--"

"Aye, Rodney, I know that, but you have a tendency to be a bit negative about things, especially what you call ‘voodoo medicine.' We didn't want any negative thoughts surrounding our first attempt--besides, you've told me again and again that biology doesn't interest you."

"I wouldn't have been negative about this," Rodney said, sounding irritated and hurt at the same time as he turned back to the screen. John placed a hand on his shoulder where he stood now just behind him.

"They didn't tell me, either," John said, irritated as well to have been left out of the loop--these were supposed to be some of his best friends after all.

"There are no secrets between you and Rodney, Colonel. We know that," Carson said, which honestly didn't explain anything in John's opinion. "Radek and Daniel knew, Carolyn and Cam, and Elizabeth and Colonel Caldwell, but no one else."

"What were you going to do, just appear one day with a baby and have to explain everything?" John asked.

"Something like that," Carson said. John seriously wanted to kick his ass for keeping such a big secret from them, but, then again, this was Carson and Evan's baby, and the biggest miracle on this planet so far as the first child who would be born of two male parents. He guessed they honestly had the right to keep the news a secret as long as they wanted.

Rodney was still staring at the screen, watching as the baby tightened the fingers of one little hand into something near a fist alongside her face, then relaxed them again. "She has musician's hands," he said quietly, never taking his eyes off the screen.

"They could be surgeon's hands, you know," Carson suggested, his arms still around Evan from the rear.

"Or artist's," Evan added.

"She should learn piano as soon as she's old enough--I can teach her, if there's no one else," Rodney said.

John smiled to himself and squeezed Rodney's shoulder. Carson and Evan's baby wasn't even born yet, and Uncle Rodney was already picturing her performing in the main concert hall here on Altera. Uncle Rodney. Now there was a concept. Maybe--

No--John shook his head. It's not going to happen. Don't even think about it.

Just then the lights went out, then back on again. An instant later music began to play in the lab-- 1940's big band music this time, _Moonlight Serenade_ , if John wasn't mistaken.

"What the hell," Rodney said, looking up at the ceiling as if it would tell him what had happened.

Something occurred to John. "Uh, Carson?" he said.

"Yes?" Carson said, looking over at him again, having let go of Evan when the music started.

"The baby has the gene, doesn't she?" he asked. "I mean, you and Evan were both born with it."

"Aye, she does."

"And she can hear what's going on in the room from in there--I mean, babies can hear before they're born, can't they? Usually what's going on near the mother if they're being carried inside a woman--I remember reading that somewhere, that babies can recognize the sound of their parents' voices immediately after birth because they've been listening to them for months."

"Aye, we made certain to mimic the environment of a human womb as much as possible--"

John met Rodney's eyes where Rodney had turned in the chair to look up at him. "You think it's possible--?" John began.

Rodney was right there with him. "It could be," he said, apparently having come to the same conclusion. He got up to go look more closely at the device holding the baby.

"What?" Carson asked, looking from one to the other of them, obviously concerned now.

"You don't have gremlins in the wiring, Carson," John said, interrupting him with a smile. "The baby could be doing it with the gene, affecting Alteran technology here in the lab--think about it. Nothing happened until you came into the lab and spoke. She's reacting to what she's hearing. She heard your voice. She doesn't know what she's doing yet, but she does have the gene. It makes sense." Now that John thought about it, it was surprising that it hadn't happened earlier with the other babies born here. Every child born here in the heart of the city so far had been born with the gene. It had proved inheritable even from those parents who had gotten it only through Carson's gene therapy.

"Oh, my," Carson said, staring at the technology holding his daughter with an astonished look on his face. "I didn't think about that."

"Katie Margaret," Daniel said after a moment, apparently trying to distract Carson, who now had a worried look on his face, "is that a family name?"

Carson didn't even look at him.

"No, just something we both like," Evan answered for the two of them. He was every inch proud dad-to-be, as was the currently distracted Carson. "She'll go by Katie."

Something occurred to John just then. He lightly elbowed Radek in the side to keep his attention as Evan and Daniel exchanged a look and then moved together to try to distract Carson. Carson was now staring at the device holding his daughter with a slightly alarmed look on his face, no doubt from what John knew had to be his contemplation of the years ahead of raising a child who had the Ancient gene here in a city full of Ancient technology, and all the mishaps that could arise because of it.

John looked over at Radek with a grin, "Who knows, maybe this is the first step toward what Rodney and I saw about you on the HUD in the puddlejumper that time."

Radek stared at him a moment, and John watched comprehension wash over his face--the HUD had told them _Radek Evzen Zelenka fathered Claire Dusana..._ "Oh, no, I don't think so," Radek said, his cheeks coloring lightly beneath the stubble. He moved away immediately to join Daniel, Evan and Carson as if he didn't want to talk about it.

John smiled and watched Radek's eyes settle on Daniel as the four men talked. They'd seen so many strange things here since arriving on this planet that the idea of prognosticating puddlejumpers no longer surprised him one bit. After this news from Carson and Evan today, maybe there would be a Claire Dusana Zelenka at some point...

He watched Radek watching Daniel a moment longer...

Maybe Claire Dusana would turn out to be part Jackson as well.

John smiled broadly at the thought and received a very odd look from Radek in return when Radek noticed the smile, as it had been aimed in his and Daniel's direction. John grinned and shook his head, looking toward his own genius better-half to find Rodney now examining the technology that would be holding little Katie Margaret for the next few weeks, Rodney now having Carson and Evan's permission to do so--which made sense; they had better make certain little Miss Katie couldn't inadvertently turn off the equipment that she was currently living inside. One thing about raising kids on Altera, John thought, it would never be dull for anyone who became parents here.

He looked toward where Dr. Simpson had earlier been sitting at his workstation, wondering if the man had had an opportunity yet to see the baby on the monitor.

Simpson had left the lab without saying a word.


	23. A Meeting of Minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Rodney have an important discussion about their future.

Rodney was not where John expected to find him when he returned to their quarters late that evening.

He had left Rodney working at his laptop where it was interfaced with the Alteran database in the first room of their quarters. Rodney had been so intent on what he had been doing that John had had to shut the laptop to get his attention enough to tell him where he was going. He knew he would never rest until he made certain of Dr. Simpson's whereabouts. He had to at least somewhat satisfy the worry that had been in the back of his mind ever since the man had left the lab that morning without a word as soon as he'd found out about Carson and Evan's baby.

Simpson had been exactly where he should be, in the quarters he had recently moved into so that Dr. Vogel could move into his former quarters with Dr. Parrish, now that Parrish and Vogel were involved. Simpson was one of the few people living here in the heart of the city who was still unattached. Most everyone else had paired off by now, with the exception of only a handful of people, including Sergeant Bates, who seemed more interested in the security of the city than in a personal life of his own, and Vala Mal Doran, who was constantly burdened with the unsettling presence of her daughter Adria. Adria rarely left her mother's side, and the strange--thoroughly creepy, in John's opinion--presence of the girl, who still had not grown or changed at all in the time they had been here, seemed enough to assure that her mother would remain single.

John had expected Rodney would still be at work at his laptop when he returned to their quarters, but the entry room was deserted, as was their bedroom. John started to turn toward the bathroom, thinking perhaps Rodney had decided to take a shower, but noticed the stained glass doors at the opposite end of the room were open. Rodney was standing on the balcony in the rectangle of light cast from the open doorway, his hands on the railing as he looked out over the lights of the city. Both moons were in the sky overhead, both nearly full, washing the city's towers with moonlight, catching the streaks of gold shot through the green stone with which the city was constructed. Night birds were singing in the garden area below, and John could smell the scent of flowers from pots someone had placed on the balcony, a scent that reminded him remarkably of honeysuckle. It was a romantic setting, and one that he was surprised to see Rodney enjoying alone. Rodney was not much for quietly standing and drinking in the view from the balcony unless John was with him.

John crossed to slide his arms around Rodney from behind. "Beautiful, isn't it?" John asked, pressing close, enjoying the warmth and solidity of Rodney's body as he looked out over the city past Rodney's shoulder. Rodney smelled of coffee and chocolate, two scents that John always associated with his husband, and two things that, thankfully, the city supplied them in abundance, among so many other things.

"Yeah, it is," Rodney said. "Did you find Simpson?"

"In his quarters," John said, keeping his arms around Rodney from behind. "Maybe he was just uncomfortable seeing all of us paired off. He's still alone, you know."

Rodney nodded and stared out at the city in silence for a moment. "I was just thinking this is the perfect place for kids to grow up," Rodney said quietly, crossing his arms atop John's as he stared out at the city's lights. "Earth's greatest minds to teach them, the greatest advancements in science and technology at their fingertips, the greatest works of art, music, and literature available around them. Every single person they ever meet will know how special they are."

"Yeah," John said, giving him a gentle squeeze, surprised to hear that kind of sentiment from Rodney--then he understood with Rodney's next words.

"Do you know what I said to my sister when she told me she was pregnant?" Rodney asked, still staring out.

John didn't say anything. He just waited, his arms around Rodney.

"I said, ‘You're not going to keep it, are you?'" Rodney said, then repeated, his tone changing, "‘You're not going to keep it'--what kind of brother says that?"

"We all say things we regret, Rodney."

"But I didn't regret it, not until--" His voice trailed away.

John gave him another squeeze.

"The last time I saw Jeanie was the day my niece was born. I went to the hospital to try one more time to talk some sense into her, to get her to at least let the English major she married take care of it so she could go back to school--Jeanie was brilliant. She could have done so much, made such a contribution with her life, but she said she was going to stay at home and raise the kid instead. She said that was more important. I told her she was out of her mind."

"It was her choice, Rodney," John tried, although he was pretty certain that Rodney wasn't listening to him.

There was a moment of silence before Rodney continued. "Today I found out two of our closest friends are going to be parents and they didn't tell us because they thought I'd be too negative about it."

"Rodney--" John said, very softly. He wasn't accustomed to Rodney miring himself in self- examination.

"Radek and Daniel knew, and Elizabeth, too, and they didn't even tell you because of me--I always thought Radek and Carson were the closest friends I'd ever had in my life, after you. What kind of friend do they think I am that they couldn't tell me?"

"The kind of friend who would die for any one of them." John had to say it, even though he knew it didn't do any good. It was the truth.

"Do you know I didn't even look at my niece that day in the hospital. She was there in Jeanie's arms and I didn't even look at her. She'd be--what?--five years old now if we'd never left our own time, and I don't even know what she looks like. Her name's Madison--" then Rodney's entire manner changed and he turned in John's arms to look at him with the most earnest expression on his face there in the sparse light. "Do you think that's an okay name for a little girl?--Madison, I mean. It's not really a girl's name. Do you think other kids--"

John didn't let him finish. He knew exactly where that was coming from. Rodney's parents had for some ungodly reason chosen to name him Meredith Rodney McKay at birth after a grandfather, Hubert Meredith, who had been a forerunner in the field of theoretical physics. Worse still, they had chosen to call him Meredith. Some of Rodney's earliest memories were of being made fun of for that name, a name that had caused him to get the crap beaten out of him as a kid almost daily at times just as surely as if his parents had painted a huge target on him with it. Rodney had had it legally changed to Rodney Ingram McKay--taking his mother's maiden name as a middle name--as soon as he'd gotten old enough, a name change that had been met with stark disapproval by his father.

"Madison is a girl's name--as a matter of fact, I dated a girl named Madison when I was in college, along with her twin sister Madeline," John said. It was a lie, but it had the desired effect, dragging Rodney out of the self examination.

Rodney gave him a sour look. "Oh, it figures--Kirk. What was it, were you with both girls at the same time?"

John grinned at him and watched Rodney clue in to the lie.

"Very funny, ha ha," but he had relaxed in John's arms.

John kissed him, letting his lips linger with Rodney's for a long time. When the kiss ended, Rodney licked his lips as if still tasting John there. They rested their foreheads together for a moment in a way that reminded John of the Athosian greeting that Teyla had taught him.

"I need to find a way to leave a message for myself that I could make certain would surface on Earth 50-million years or so in the future, just before Jeanie tells me she's pregnant--‘Rodney, be nice to your sister. Pay attention to your niece--'"

"‘--when you meet the sexy major at the Antarctic Outpost, drag him off somewhere and have your wicked way with him because he's your other half--'" John suggested, straightening so he could better see Rodney's face in the light cast by the open doorway, not wanting Rodney to dwell on things that he couldn't change.

Rodney smiled and shook his head, knowing exactly what John was doing, as John well knew. "Maybe I'll leave a message for you to not wait almost a year and a half after you fall in love with me before you do anything about it."

"I didn't realize I was in love with you to start with, as you well know--and at least I did something when I did realize it."

"That you did," Rodney said, smiling. He watched John a moment as John pressed even closer against him. John was starting to grow hard from his nearness and he wanted Rodney to feel it. "Can you believe Carson's going to be a dad?" Rodney said at last, as if still absorbing the thought--not exactly what John thought he would be thinking about now with John against him.

John smiled, accepting the tangential thought to what he really had in mind. "He'll be a good dad," he said, still keeping his groin pressed against Rodney's, enjoying the heat of Rodney's body. "So will Evan."

"You'd be a good dad," Rodney said, which surprised John. He had never expected Rodney to even consider what kind of parent he might be--or that Rodney might be, for that matter. Rodney's eyes moved over John's face in the sparse light. "I know you always wanted to have kids one day, or at least you did until we got together--"

John didn't know what to say. He knew Rodney would never--

"You talked about it a few times back when we were just friends--more than a few times, actually. I always wondered, with me being a guy, why you picked me over having a family, since being two guys we couldn't--"

"I fell in love with you, Rodney. You're all the family I need," John answered, which was the God's honest truth. He had realized he couldn't live without the irritating, all-too-often condescending, egotistical, heroic, self-sacrificing, snarky, brilliant man in his arms, no matter what that cost him, whether that be his military career if they had ever been caught back on Atlantis or Earth, or his chance at being a parent.

"Did you ever think about us maybe using a surrogate one day--I mean, back before we ended up here, did you ever think about the two of us using a surrogate to have a kid? We couldn't have done it on Atlantis, but at some point, if we had ever returned to Earth for good--"

"You thought about it?" John asked, absolutely astounded that Rodney had even come up with the question.

"Yes, of course. I knew you wanted to be a dad, and, well, wouldn't you think it would be a good idea for me to pass along my genius?"

Rodney was staring at him with such wide-eyed conviction there in the dim light, certain that John would agree with that last statement, that John couldn't help it--he burst out laughing.

A hurt look came to Rodney's face and John kissed him to soothe him over.

"Yeah, you should pass along your genius," John agreed, then had to add: "So, that's how it was going to be, our finding a surrogate to be inseminated with your sperm and me being the other dad to a little Rodney or Rodnella?"

Rodney gave him the sourest look John had ever seen on any face--at even the notion of naming a child ‘Rodnella,' John well knew.

Actually, now that John considered it, he would have agreed to that plan if Rodney had ever introduced it to him, of the two of them one day possibly retiring to Earth, raising Rodney's biological child together--not specifically to pass Rodney's genius along, although John had no objection to that, but simply because he was in love with the man and would happily see a little Rodney running around who could have called both of them ‘Dad'--

Well, just so long as John, not Rodney, could have been in charge of guiding the kid's social skills, considering Rodney's all-too-often glaring lack in that department.

"I would have wanted the surrogate to be inseminated with both our sperm," Rodney was saying. "That way we wouldn't have had to know which one of us was the biological father."

Which surprised the hell out of John. "What about passing your genius along?"

Rodney gave him an exasperated look. "You're smart, too. You're no me, but you are very smart--and don't you think any child I helped raise would have the benefit of being raised by me?"

For a moment John could only stare at him, both eyebrows raised.

To know Rodney would have been willing--

"Although he would probably have been born with that hair--" Rodney said, his eyes moving up to John's hair for a moment "--which would have been an immediate give-away as to whose sperm made it there first--"

It finally sank in that he and Rodney were honestly talking about the possibility of having a child together--yes, a theoretical child born with a theoretical surrogate after some theoretically permanent return to Earth that in reality had never happened because they had ended up here instead. But there was the honest possibility here of--

"Rodney, did Carson tell you that what worked for him and Evan would work for other same-sex couples here?" John asked, his eyes moving over Rodney's face, trying to gauge Rodney's reaction. "We could actually have a child together who would be both of ours biologically."

"I know--that's what we were talking about, wasn't it?" Rodney asked, giving John the strangest look.

For a moment, John could only stare at him.

But he had to ask. He had to know. After the years of knowing Rodney, of seeing his reaction to kids, he would never have thought--

"Rodney, you hate kids." It didn't even come out as a question.

"No, I don't." He looked surprised that John had made the statement.

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't--"

John gave him a doubtful look.

"Okay, I hate people, and most kids are just small people," Rodney conceded.

And that was supposed to make John feel better?

"I wouldn't hate our kids," Rodney said.

"Our kids would be small people, too, wouldn't they? Growing up to be big people."

"Do you have any idea how smart they'd be? They wouldn't be irritating--"

"You're smart, and you're irritating."

"Oh, ha ha." Rodney gave him another sour look.

They were really talking about this. John couldn't believe--

"You're people--a person, I mean--and I don't hate you," Rodney said. He had the most appealing look on his face. He really, honestly, was saying that he wanted this, that he wanted to have a child with John.

"You're sure you really want to think about our doing this, having a kid together, you and me?" John had to ask him, just to clarify.

"Yes, don't you?"

"Yes," John answered, honestly. "But you're aware there are no nannies here, Rodney, no gorgeous blonde women who are child-care specialists to raise your little genius or geniuses, which I bet you were counting on if you'd ever done this with me or anyone else on Earth. If we do this, we do it together. We raise the kid, take care of him--which includes diapers and bottles and middle-of-the-night feedings--and we do it together. No losing your temper and no cutting the kid off when he's old enough and wants to follow you all over the place to ask you little-kid questions. And no disappearing into your lab and leaving me to do it all by myself--"

"I wouldn't do that."

John just looked at him.

"I wouldn't!"

Rodney McKay changing diapers. Rodney McKay dealing with middle-of-the-night feedings. Uh-huh. John would believe it when he saw it. Maybe it might be a good idea for the two of them to volunteer to babysit for some of the little ones already here, and for Carson and Evan's baby once she arrived, to give Rodney a real taste of what he would be getting into--

What they would both be getting into.

They were really talking about becoming parents. John still couldn't fathom it. A little Sheppard-McKay. Part of him and part of Rodney in a new human being.

Rodney's blue eyes and John's smile...

Rodney's quick brilliance tempered by John's social skills...

Rodney's genius and John's natural ability with the ATA gene...

Not to mention John's daredevil nature...

And his complete and total lack of fear as a kid.

He'd gotten into enough scrapes just growing up on Earth. He'd wanted to be Evel Knievel, after all. He had managed to break four bones by the time he had been ten years old, had fallen off the roof--twice--and had come close to breaking his neck on several other occasions, each in one stunt or another. He'd driven his mother crazy.

His and Rodney's child could very likely inherit that daredevil nature, along with that total lack of fear, combined with Rodney's genius and John's natural ability with the ATA gene, not to mention Rodney's ego that thought he could do anything--and he would be growing up in a city full of Ancient technology--

"Um--we can find some way of child-proofing the city, can't we?" John asked, thinking as soon as he had said it that it was, beyond doubt, the strangest question that had ever come out of his mouth.

But, then again, if anyone could think of a way to do it, Rodney could.

At the moment, though, Rodney had his mind on something else. "I want to know exactly how Carson does this whole thing--and we're not letting him out of our sight once he starts the process. We're taking no chance that he gets distracted and mixes up the DNA samples."

Which could very well mean that Carson could refuse to help them at all under the prospect of having Rodney looming over his shoulder the entire time.

"Why don't we do a little DNA mixing of our own right now?" John asked him as a means of distraction before Rodney could decide to head off to Carson and Evan's quarters right now to cross-examine Carson about the entire process of combining the DNA of two male parents.

"DNA mixing?" Rodney asked--then John watched him clue in that he had meant sex only after John pressed his groin tight to Rodney's again and moved his hips just enough to make Rodney very aware that John was growing hard. He couldn't do much more than that out here on the balcony where someone else from this side of the tower could walk out and catch them. "Oh, you mean--" Rodney began, motioning with one thumb back in the direction of the open doorway that led back into their bedroom.

"Yeah, I mean--" John said, allowing his voice to trail away as he moved his hips deliberately again ever so slightly, just to make Rodney even more aware of that growing erection through the layers of clothing between them.

"Oh, yeah--" Rodney said, with that sudden little dirty smirk that told John there were indeed pleasures ahead tonight.

~~~

"It is very sexy, you know," Rodney said sometime later as they were switching positions.

John looked at him--Rodney had damned well better think what they had been doing was sexy. If not, there was something wrong with him. After all, John had just had Rodney's cock half- way down his throat and three fingers up his ass, while Rodney had been doing the same for him, enjoying good old number sixty-nine as they prepared each other.

"Having a kid together, I mean," Rodney clarified.

John stared at him--Rodney had been thinking about that? While they'd been--

"The two of us permanently joined together in another human being--that is very sexy," Rodney said, smiling at him. He had scooted up in bed to lay with his head on his pillow--and John's, John noticed, as Rodney had both of them scrunched up under his head. Rodney was watching him, one hand going to stroke the hard cock that John had plans for, his hips rising restlessly off the bed in slow rhythm to that moving hand--John gently slapped his hand away, knowing damned well Rodney had known he would do it, which would have been one of the reasons Rodney had started to stroke himself.

Rodney grinned at having gotten the reaction he had wanted. John had to rein in his thoughts from that hard cock and every inch of naked Rodney McKay laying there on the bed before him to try to concentrate on what Rodney had said--yes, it was sexy when put that way, the two of them permanently joined together in another human being.

And what was so wrong with thinking about having kids while you were having sex, anyway? It was how most kids got here--or it had been until now.

"Can you imagine how amazing our kids will be?" Rodney said, still smiling. "My genius and your looks, not to mention your cool factor."

"They could have my genius and your looks," John said, stealing back his pillow and stretching out on his side beside his husband to hook a leg over both of Rodney's and draw him in closer, trapping both their cocks in the pleasurable heat between their bodies when Rodney turned toward him. John kissed him, enjoying the taste of his own pre-come from inside Rodney's mouth, it mingling with Rodney's inside his own as he explored leisurely with his tongue, biting at Rodney's lower lip when the kiss was finished.

Then it registered with John what Rodney had said--kids, as in the plural.

"How many kids do you want, anyway?" he thought to ask.

"Oh, a couple, three or four."

"Three or four is not a couple, Rodney--gee, I hope the kids inherit my math ability because you can't add."

"Smartass," Rodney said, though pleasantly. He bit John's jawline, then licked his way down his neck to his adam's apple.

Oh--that was nice, John thought, then gasped slightly as Rodney reached between them to close his fingers around John's cock and squeeze. Very nice.

"You know, I actually got worried for a while that I'd been exposed to too much radiation, and that maybe you had, too," Rodney said, stopping the pleasurable licking to look at John, although his fingers were now tightened around John's cock, stroking up and down. "I'd kept track of it all my life, and Genii nuclear reactors and flying through the coronasphere of a star like we did that time just seemed too much for me in particular to ever consider reproducing, but Carson said that the stargates in the Pegasus Galaxy were unique in that they were designed to counteract the effects of radiation exposure. They did the equivalent of ‘scrubbing' DNA of any genetic mutation on each subsequent gate travel after the gate had analyzed and stored your pattern for the first time--which is ingenious, actually. You know, you and I will probably actually invent that as the first--"

"How do you want to take me?" John asked, deliberately interrupting Rodney's train of thought before he could get fully sidetracked away from sex and into some sort of scientific discussion of gate theory--there was a place and time for everything, after all, and this was the place and time for pleasure.

"My choice tonight?" Rodney asked, obviously delighted--like they didn't take turns all the time. John had to grin. Rodney was always enthusiastic.

And eager. Demanding.

And horny as hell.

Imaginative. Intense. Creative.

The best lover of John's life.

Not to mention that John was completely in love with the man.

"Absolutely--anything you want--" which was apparently what Rodney wanted to hear tonight.

"Come here," Rodney said, grinning at him as he pulled out of John's arms. He got out of bed to hold a hand out to John. John took it and slid out of bed to follow, wondering what Rodney had in mind. Rodney led him across the room, stopping and turning to face him only when he at last stood near one of the walls. Rodney was smiling. "Remember the first time you kissed me?" he asked.

John had to smile, realizing immediately what Rodney wanted. "Never forget it."

"You'd better not forget it," Rodney warned.

John reached up to slide both hands over Rodney's shoulders, gently, enjoying the warm skin. Rodney was watching him, smiling slightly. They were both remembering. John closed his hands on Rodney's upper arms and firmly pushed him back against the wall then brought his lips to Rodney's--the kiss was so different from that first time, this one immediately warm and inviting, welcoming him in. Not that the first kiss hadn't been fantastic. It had--it had just included a moment of total, stark panic for both of them.

The kiss broke apart into laughter. Rodney had apparently been thinking the same thing.

John grinned at him. "At least you're willing to get naked with me now."

"I clearly remember getting naked with you immediately after that kiss," Rodney disagreed. "I was perfectly willing to get naked with you--"

"Just so long as I didn't look at you," John reminded him.

Rodney grinned, obviously remembering as well. "Well, I don't have that problem now."

"You certainly don't," John said, sliding his hands down to cup Rodney's naked ass, pulling him forward, their cocks trapped together in the heat between their bodies. "Oh--I have an idea," John said, giving Rodney a wicked grin and a kiss before releasing him. He snatched the small pillow out of the chair nearby and dropped it on the floor at Rodney's feet, then knelt on it, bringing himself on eye--not to mention mouth--level with Rodney's cock.

"You and your oral fetish," Rodney teased, smiling, looking down at him, running his fingers through John's hair.

John slid his hands up the outside of Rodney's thighs, looking up at him, knowing Rodney liked eye contact from John in this position before they went any further. "Like you didn't know you'd get a blowjob out of this even before you led me over here," he said, smiling.

"Genius, remember," Rodney said, his smile widening. "I swear that's why you wear your hair like that, because it always looks just like it does right after you've been sucking me," his fingers still in John's hair.

John had to laugh. "Visual stimulus, like Pavlov's dogs."

"That was an aural stimulus, the ringing of a bell," the genius informed him.

"I think you mean ‘oral,'" John said with a wicked grin of his own this time, unable to resist because ‘aural' sounded so close to--well--

"Oh, ha ha--are you down there for a reason, or are you just there for the view?"

"A little bit of both, actually," John admitted, wrapping his hand around Rodney's cock at last, hearing a pleased sigh from Rodney in return. They always had so much fun together, and from more than the sex alone, although sex with Rodney was the best of John's life.

John nosed the side of Rodney's cock, moving down to tongue his balls for moment, receiving another pleased sound in response. He then moved to that hard cock, licking from the base to the tip, sliding the foreskin back to lick beneath--something he knew Rodney loved. He then opened his mouth, taking the head in and sucking for a moment before taking him deep, to the back of his throat and beyond, and he heard Rodney's head thump back hard against the wall. John slowly drew back until only the head was between his lips and looked up to make sure Rodney was okay, using his tongue against the underside all the while, then, assured, he went down on him again, humming because he knew damned well how good that felt, hollowing his cheeks and sucking as he drew back again.

"Oh--God--" Rodney gasped as John continued. John would have been happy to do this for Rodney until Rodney lost all control--but Rodney had other ideas for tonight. "Bed--" he said at last, the genius seeming unable for the moment to get more than the single word out.

John got to his feet and kicked the small pillow that he had been kneeling on out of the way--then Rodney's mouth was on his, Rodney not breaking the kiss as he backed John toward the bed. It didn't take long to get John in the position he wanted him, on his back, his legs hooked over Rodney's arms. Rodney had quickly slicked himself up from the bottle of lube they'd been using earlier, and he was entering John slowly, teasing him, making him want it all at once--and then Rodney was giving it to him, sinking in balls deep, giving John that delicious full feeling that he was waiting for. Rodney took him, thrusting hard as soon as John could take it, his eyes locked with John's all the while, breaking that gaze only when he bent from time to time to kiss him, his tongue taking John's mouth even as his body moved over his, his cock so deep inside--Rodney was so good at this, driving in again and again, filling him. The angle was perfect now, Rodney brushing over his prostate with each inward thrust, and for a moment John was afraid he was going to come from the pure internal stimulation alone.

"I love you--" Rodney whispered, the blue eyes locked with John's, and that was almost John's undoing...

"Rodney--I need to--"

"Come with me," Rodney said, the force behind his thrusts increasing, becoming erratic, and he somehow managed to wrap the fingers of his right hand around John's cock, propped only on his left hand now--John was coming, pleasure washing through his body, semen shooting onto his own chest and coating Rodney's hand, and then Rodney was coming inside him, his head thrown back--

Rodney was still breathing heavily when he brought his lips to John's again a short time later. He was still deep inside John, moving slowly now.

"I love you," John said at last when Rodney ended the kiss to nuzzle at his neck and bite gently there. "Marking me as yours?" he asked, feeling Rodney's teeth graze his skin, trusting Rodney would know exactly what it was he wanted.

Rodney got the message, drawing gently in on the skin, sucking just enough to mark John's flesh. Rodney looked down at him a moment later. "You are mine," he said in no uncertain terms.

Rodney withdrew at last, so very gently, and sprawled half-way over John, nuzzling his neck again and kissing the mark he had left there.

"Don't even think about asking me to move," Rodney said, sighing contentedly into John's ear, his body heavy and relaxed, pressing John in to the mattress as the lights went out--very nice, John thought, running his hands over the warm skin of Rodney's back.

"So you're just going to sleep and leave me with come drying on my chest?" John teased quietly.

"It's smeared on both our chests now--and if I wasn't so tired I'd lick it off," Rodney said, his voice sounding decidedly sleepy. "It is normal male physiology, needing sleep right after sex-- besides, I was damn good, and you know it."

John laughed. "That you were," he agreed, closing his eyes, sleepy himself. "That you were."


	24. Parallax View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Rodney remember their first day together as lovers.

John relaxed under Rodney, realizing after a time that he had begun to breathe in sync with his spouse, both of them taking in air together, then breathing out at the exact same moment. It was the same thing they had started doing during kel'no'reem, something that had taken them into the same "waking dream" several days before during meditation, a dream of flying and music and making out at the top of a ferris wheel. His body was relaxed, sated, his mind slowly going blank except for the thought and feel of Rodney around him--he had never thought it possible to love anyone like this. They had been together now what would have been two and a half years if they'd remained on Earth or Atlantis--

And John would not change one single moment of that time.

He had been in love with Rodney ever since their early days on Atlantis, although it had taken a year and a half--and Aiden Ford kidnaping the team--to make him realize what it was he felt for his best friend. Ford had to have seen something, noticed some difference in how John behaved toward Rodney as compared to how he behaved toward everyone else. Ford had used Rodney against him, separating Rodney from the team and threatening his life, to make John do what he wanted.

John had gotten the team home after that fucked-up mission---after the goddamn side trip to the Wraith hive ship--knowing he had to come to a decision. He was compromised where Rodney was concerned, compromised as he had never thought to be in any command--he'd had six months to think about that while he was trapped in the time dilation field of the Ancient's sanctuary, that mission having come within days of their return from the Wraith ship, six months of worry and fear that he would never see Rodney again. Rodney belonged in a nice safe lab, not out in the field--and that had been exactly what John told him on the first night back on Atlantis after he had been freed from the sanctuary.

That, along with the fact that John was having him removed from the team.

 _Rodney had looked as if he had been sucker-punched that night. "But--I didn't do anything," Rodney had said, his eyes big in the middle of that stricken face._

 _"When Ford kidnaped us--"_

 _"I did what you asked me to do. I fixed Ford's ship. Then, when you didn't come back, I took out his men and got myself free to go looking for you--"_

 _"By taking the Wraith enzyme," John had said, feeling unbelievably tired._

 _"Is that it? You don't trust my judgement now?" Rodney said, his voice rising in anger._

 _"I didn't say that, Rodney."_

 _"Then what is it?" Rodney demanded. He was definitely getting mad._

 _"You're safer here." Which was certainly the truth, though not all of it._

 _"Safer?"_

 _"Yes, safer."_

 _"Let me tell you something, Colonel--" and then he had started yelling._

 _John had stared at him for a moment as Rodney continued to rant, John not even paying attention to a word he was saying--then John grabbed him by both arms, pushed him back against the nearby wall, and kissed him._

 _For one breathless moment of obvious sheer, stark panic Rodney froze. His entire body stiffened against Sheppard. His mouth was unresponsive. John had just enough time to wonder if he was about to get knocked flat on his ass--but Rodney made this sound deep in the back of his throat, half moan, half something else, then he was kissing John back, his fingers going to the hair at the back of John's neck, drawing John's mouth closer, his body pressed so tight to John's that John could feel Rodney begin to harden against him._

 _John turned them, breaking one kiss only to begin another, biting Rodney's lip, Rodney making a low sound before John captured his mouth again. John began to back them toward Rodney's bed, trying to end a kiss long enough to get Rodney's tee shirt up and over his head while Rodney seemed determined to climb into his skin with him._

 _John managed to get them both undressed and on the bed, then he was glorying in the feel of Rodney's skin, the heat of Rodney's cock in his hand, the jerk of Rodney's hips as John's fingers closed around him. Rodney was long but not as thick as John, and uncircumcised, which felt very different in John's hand. John felt as if he were bursting at the seams himself, and Rodney had not even touched him. Rodney didn't seem to know what to do with himself, or with John, but he was right there with John all the way, his skin flushed, his breathing heavy._

 _Rodney kept saying, "Oh, god--oh, god," over and over again in between kisses in a breathless way that went right through John and straight to his cock, making him only harder._

 _Finally, both their cocks trapped together in his fist between them, John bit Rodney's ear as he pressed him into the mattress, leaning over him. "John--say my name--John--"_

 _And Rodney had begun to moan his name, his fingers digging into John's shoulders and back, tangling in his hair._

 _John had to thrust--he had to. He did not know what to do. He was going on pure instinct now. The anatomy was different--but this felt so good, so right. He nudged Rodney's thighs apart with one knee and settled between them, trapping their cocks together in the heat between their bodies. John rocked his hips forward and moaned at the feel--then Rodney was kissing him again, moving restlessly under him, trying to thrust up, to get as much stimulation for his cock as possible. John wanted to do more for him, to make it as good as he could--he lifted himself off Rodney's body, hearing a soft, almost-dismayed sound from Rodney at being left hard and aching, but the sound was replaced by a gasp as John's hand closed over that throbbing cock and he began to masturbate him. Rodney moaned, his hips jerking forward into John's hand. John kissed him, letting his tongue dive deep for a moment before he nipped at Rodney's lower lip. He then shifted down on the narrow bed, his eyes taking in every inch of Rodney. He was going to suck Rodney, to give him the best blow job he was capable of giving._

 _"What are you--?" Rodney began--but John already had his target in sight. He pressed Rodney's hard cock up against his belly, then snaked out his tongue to run it up the underside, then back down again until he reached Rodney's balls, which he tongued. "Oh--god!" Rodney cried out, his hips coming off the bed, causing John to smile--then John opened his mouth and took the uncircumcised penis in as deeply as he could without gagging, and he hummed, causing Rodney to scream out, "Shep-pard!" as he arched even harder._ Thank God for soundproof rooms, _John thought with a grin around the penis in his mouth. Dr. Rodney McKay was a screamer._

 _He sucked, drawing back until he had just the head in his mouth, John's hand masturbating the base all the while, then he went down on him again, taking Rodney as deeply as he could, trying to relax his throat muscles and figure a way to take him even further. There was no reticence this time on John's part, as there had been the one other time in his life that John had tried to do this-- John wanted to devour Rodney. He was so hard, rubbing himself against the mattress as he gave Rodney pleasure. He rolled Rodney's balls between his fingers, massaging the base of his penis, doing everything he knew how to do that would feel good to Rodney. Rodney could not be still. His fingers were tangled in John's hair, pressing his head down as his hips moved up erratically, coming up off the bed again and again._

 _John could have pulled away if he had wanted to--but he didn't want to. Rodney was taking his mouth, moaning his name, over and over again, and John could not believe how good it was. Rodney had given up all control, his hips now moving up in short, sharp thrusts, driving his penis into John's mouth--and then he was coming, thick spurts of semen that hit John's tongue and the back of his throat, and John was swallowing._

 _Rodney's hands were trembling in John's hair when he was finished, his fingers moving clumsily, caressing the back of John's head. His breathing was heavy, his penis growing soft against John's tongue, his hips still now, resting on the mattress._

 _John took his mouth from that softening organ, and he kissed it, then Rodney's stomach before he moved back up in bed, John's hand going to his own penis._

 _Rodney was looking up at him--but John was not finished. He was too hard. He needed to come._

 _John leaned over a now-trembling Rodney, looking into the blue eyes, the soft, slightly crooked lips, the face John knew so well, and he jerked himself off and came quickly on Rodney's stomach and chest, John's hips moving through his pleasure--then he leaned his face to Rodney's, resting their foreheads together as Rodney continued to tremble against him._

 _It took a few minutes for John's breathing to return to normal. Through that time, neither one of them said anything._

 _At last he looked down at Rodney, finding wide blue eyes staring up at him, a look of nervousness on his features._

 _"You okay, McKay?" John asked, feeling immediately stupid to have used Rodney's last name at a time like this._

 _"You sucked me off," Rodney said, his eyes never leaving John's face. He looked extraordinarily ill-at-ease. "Why did you suck me off?"_

 _John stared at him. He knew he could make light of what had happened, tell him they both needed to get laid, that it had been nothing but a little mutual stress relief--but he could not do that, not to Rodney. John had never before seen such an exposed, naked, vulnerable expression on anyone's face in all his life--and he knew damned well he really had not given Rodney much choice in what had happened between them._

 _Rodney's trembling against him reminded John of how cold-natured his best friend could be--and Rodney was still that, his best friend in this or any other world. That was something John did not want to lose no matter what came of what had now happened between them._

 _John sat up to reach over for the cover sheet they had somehow kicked aside. Rodney gave a surprised little sound at his movement, one hand going down to try to cover himself, the other going across his chest as if he were trying to hide his body from John's eyes._

 _John smiled at him to try to help him relax, then lay back to try to tuck the sheet over both of them--but Rodney clutched at it, drawing it up to his neck to clutch it there as he stared at John, both his neck and his shoulders beet red now._

 _John--who virtually had no sheet left--reached out to stroke Rodney's bare arm lightly. He was still trembling._

 _"You sucked me off," Rodney said again, his eyes seeming all the more naked and exposed as he stared at John._

 __Oh, please, God, don't let him freak out on me-- _John prayed silently. He did not think there was a homophobic bone in Rodney's body, but there was no predicting how a man might react after he had been part of what had undeniably been an enthusiastic sexual encounter with another man for probably the first time in his life._

 _Rodney was still staring at him._

 _"Yes, I did," John answered softly, smiling at him._

 _"Why?" still clutching that sheet._

 _"Why?" John leaned down to kiss Rodney's bare shoulder, only to feel Rodney flinch at the touch of his lips._

 _Rodney only stared at him as John settled back against the single pillow they were more-or-less sharing. He met those nervous blue eyes, knowing in that moment beyond doubt that Rodney had never been with anyone in his life, male or female either one. There was just something about that look of naked vulnerability in Rodney's eyes that spoke volumes toward his never having been in an intimate situation with another human being even once._

 _"I wanted to, Rodney. I've wanted to for a long time."_

 _Still Rodney only stared at him, his mouth open now, although he seemed unable to think of anything to say._

 _"Why do you think I said you can't stay on my team?"_

 _"I am not coming off the team!" Rodney said, suddenly pissed off again._

 _John could not help but grin. That was the Rodney McKay he knew and--loved--there was no reason to deny it now._

 _"I'm compromised where you're concerned, Rodney. I'm compromised with you on the team. Somehow Ford saw that when he kidnapped us; that's why he threatened to kill you if I didn't cooperate. He saw that threatening you was the best way to control me. He knew I would do whatever I had to do to keep you safe."_

 _"You'd do the same thing for Teyla or Ronon--or Ford when he was still Ford," Rodney argued. He just did not get it._

 _"Rodney, I would go a lot further protecting you."_

 _"You'd go further protecting any civilian scientist, but that doesn't mean--"_

 _John reached up to give Rodney a light little thump on the side of his head with one finger. "I thought you were supposed to be a genius," he said, fondly. "Rodney, I've never been naked in bed with any other civilian scientist here, or with Teyla or Ronon or Ford, or with anyone else since I've been in the Pegasus Galaxy."_

 _Rodney stared at him. "You haven't?" his voice went up pitch with what seemed to be real surprise. "What about that Ascended woman from the sanctuary today?" he sounded doubtful now._

 _"No, Rodney. She wanted to and I was tempted, but I didn't. Do you think I'm in bed with you because I've already been through everyone else in the galaxy and it's finally your turn?"_

 _Rodney stared at him for a split second before answering. "I don't know."_

 _And, God, he didn't. John could see that now. "You're hopeless, you know that, McKay?" John said, which he could see immediately was the wrong thing to say to Rodney._

 _John tried to tighten his arms around him, to give him something of a hug, which seemed the right thing to do at the moment, only for Rodney to try to scoot his ass away under the sheet that was now covering him. Another second and he would back himself right over the edge of the bed and wind up on the floor, which would only make matters worse between them. "Be still, Rodney, and let me hold you," he said at last._

 _He did halt, only to ask, "Why?" looking at John warily, that damned sheet still clutched against his chest between them as if he were some maiden trying to defend her virtue._

 _"Because I want to hold you, Rodney." Nothing was ever easy with Rodney McKay, was it? Well, John should have known that before he had gone to bed with him, and, if he had forgotten, he had better damned well get with the program now. He was not about to give up on this, not now that he had it in his life. "I'd rather hold you tonight than go to my quarters and sleep alone. I'm not the kind of guy who hops out of bed and leaves right after sex, not unless I'm told to."_

 _"Sex?" Rodney squeaked out._

 _"Yes, sex--making love, whatever you want to call it." John looked at him for a moment. "You've never been with a guy before, have you?" It wasn't really a question in John's mind, though he made it sound like one._

 _"You have?!" Rodney demanded, in that immediately pissy, possessive way that telegraphed ‘You're mine,' as surely as if John had_ Property of Dr. Rodney McKay _stamped across his forehead._

 _"One time--I'll tell you about it if you'll quit clutching that sheet between us and come closer."_

 _"But--I'm n-naked!" Rodney stammered out._

 _John grinned at him. "That's the general idea." Then he tugged gently at the sheet, though not hard enough to pull it from Rodney's hands. "Let go of the sheet, Rodney," John coaxed, and Rodney did, surprisingly, although he made a half-way attempt to grab it back as John eased it up over them both so that there was nothing but air between them. "Now, come closer."_

 _Rodney didn't budge._

 _"Come on, Rodney. You have to be right on the edge of the bed. I don't bite--well, not unless you want me to," John said, with a bit of a grin._

 _And, yeah, that was the wrong thing to say to Rodney. He could see that immediately._

 _Rodney's brows rose alarmingly as he stared at him._

 _"Come on, Rodney, just a little closer."_

 _Rodney moved perhaps a fraction of an inch._

 _"A little closer."_

 _Another fraction of an inch, and still not touching skin._

 _"Come here. I think you'll like how it feels."_

 _Skin at last, pimpled in nervous gooseflesh. John slid his arms around him, feeling Rodney trembling._

 _"Just a little closer, right against me--you're trembling; I can warm you up again," although he knew damned well it was nerves and not a chill causing that reaction._

 _Their bodies were touching at last, Rodney's now-limp penis resting against John's groin. John tugged the sheet up to their shoulders and slid his arm beneath to stroke Rodney's naked back. This felt amazingly right, holding Rodney like this, feeling the soft bit of belly against him, chest hair where John was accustomed to roundness. Rodney had lost weight since he had been on Atlantis, but John had not expected the muscles he could feel tensing briefly beneath skin as John's hands began to explore this new world of Rodney McKay's body._

 _It occurred to John that he should be freaking out about now himself, but he wasn't, and Rodney wasn't either, not really, which was surprising._

 _Rodney was staring at him as John discovered the whispery feel of Rodney's chest hair beneath his fingers for the first time, brushing a fingertip over one of Rodney's nipples, receiving a soft gasp in response, although Rodney seemed determined not to be distracted._

 _"Who was it?" Rodney demanded, fixated on John's revelation that he had been with another man. "What did he do to you?" There was no asking there, just a pure demand for knowledge, along with a clear attitude that anything regarding John Sheppard was Rodney McKay's business as well. Possessive Rodney was a Rodney John decided he thoroughly liked--it meant Rodney considered John completely his._

 _"It was one time only, Rodney, a long time ago."_

 _"Who was it?"_

 _"A guy--it doesn't matter."_

 _"Yes, it does." A flat out statement._

 _John had to force back that smile that wanted to come to his lips. He was pushing Rodney's buttons deliberately, wanting to know exactly what an obviously jealous Rodney would say or do--although he had better not push those buttons too hard if he wanted to keep the man in bed with him._

 _In bed and willing to try all the things John wanted the two of them to try together._

 _"It was while I was in college. I met up with this guy at a bar and we went back to his apartment- -"_

 _"You let yourself get picked up by some guy at a bar?!" Rodney demanded. "What did you do, get drunk and let him have his way with you?"_

 _"Pretty much," John agreed with that assessment of the situation, though he had to smile a bit at the old-fashioned wording Rodney had used. He was surprised to see Rodney's open-mouthed shock in return._

 _"You--he--" Rodney spluttered._

 _He would have sat up out of John's arms if John had let him. John pressed him back into the mattress instead to lean over him._

 _"You--" Rodney tried again, staring up at him, "you let him take you? Some man you met at a bar--a stranger--you let him put his cock up your--"_

 _"No!" John said, surprised. God, leave it to Rodney to jump to the extreme. "He didn't even try to have anal sex with me!"_

 _Rodney just stared at him as if he didn't believe him._

 _"He didn't!" John stated again, feeling his face suddenly heat up--goddamn it, he could not believe that Rodney, of all people, could embarrass him about sex._

 _But, then again, when you thought about two men having sex, anal sex was certainly something that came to mind._

 _Rodney was still staring up at him. "Would you have let him if he'd tried?" he asked, his voice quieter now._

 _"I don't know. No--I don't think so."_

 _"You don't **think** so! A perfect stranger!" He was mad again._

 _"I was a horny twenty year old and drunk, Rodney. It was a long time ago. I couldn't tell you for certain what I would have done if the subject had come up--and he wasn't a stranger. We'd gone to highschool together."_

 _Rodney stared at him for a moment. "Highschool?"_

 _John decided he had better head that thought off before it developed any further. "And, no, we weren't lovers in highschool, or again after that one time. I ran into him at a bar and we went back to his place. It was the one time, and I never saw him again."_

 _Rodney's eyes were moving over his. "What did you do?" he asked._

 _"He gave me a blow job."_

 _A moment's silence. "And you?"_

 _"I tried to return the favor."_

 _"‘The favor'--is that what you did for me? A ‘favor'?" he looked so ready to be hurt suddenly, as if he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. John could not help but wonder what had gone on in Rodney's life to make him so certain he would be rejected if he allowed himself to get close to anyone._

 _"No, Rodney," John said softly, laying down again to hold Rodney close, gently stroking his back as Rodney turned to him again. He knew what he had to say--it was the truth, anyway, if John would just admit it to himself. "I made love to you with my mouth."_

 _There was absolute silence between them for a moment. Rodney looked surprised at the words-- but he still looked so afraid at the same time, afraid and hopeful and not sure which way to turn._

 _Suddenly John wanted to know everything there was to know about Rodney, everything that had gone on in his life that had made him the man he was now: genius and innocent, self-possessed scientist and snarky son of a bitch, pain in the ass and self-sacrificing hero._

 _"Even the physical part of the act was different before, Rodney," John told him. "I tried to give him head because that's what he'd done for me, but I couldn't get myself to go through with it after an initial try. I managed to jerk him off and he came in my face--"_

 _"In your face?" Rodney didn't seem to find any appeal in that idea at all. He frowned._

 _"Some guys get off on that. I think it's a domination kind of thing."_

 _"Do you--get off on it?" Rodney asked, still frowning._

 _"No, Rodney."_

 _There was a moment of silence. "You didn't seem to mind--what you did--sucking me."_

 _John smiled. "I tried to deepthroat you. I'm going to have to learn how to do that."_

 _"Learn?" Rodney sounded intrigued._

 _"Trial, experimentation--isn't that the basis of scientific exploration."_

 _Okay--either talking about deepthroating him or about science was definitely turning Rodney on, because John could feel Rodney's penis beginning to harden against him again._

 _Rodney was all big blue eyes staring at him for a moment. "You didn't--ask me to do anything for you earlier," he said, almost surreptitiously pressing his groin forward to John's beneath the sheet._

 _Now that John thought about it, he realized he had not given Rodney a chance to do anything, to even touch John's cock, he had been too hungry for Rodney to even think about it._

 _Rodney was still staring at him. "I would have, if you'd wanted me to," he said._

 _"Next time you can do anything for or to me you want."_

 _"Next time?"_

 _"Don't you want there to be a next time?"_

 _"Yes," answered immediately, the word rushed._

 _John laughed. "Eager," he remarked, grinning at Rodney._

 _"Don't laugh at me," he sounded so hurt. His expression reflected his tone. He seemed so ready to be hurt. No matter how much Rodney wanted this, he seemed certain it would be ripped out of his hands._

 _"I'm not laughing at you, just glad to know you're as eager as I am."_

 _That was what Rodney needed to hear, apparently. "I had no idea it would feel like that," he said in a rather awed voice._

 _Rodney's penis gave a twitch against John's. He suddenly tried to back his hips away as if embarrassed to know that John had to have felt it. John slid his hand down to Rodney's warm ass and put an end to the attempted escape, then pressed close to him again, sliding a thigh up over both of Rodney's._

 _"You'd never had a blow job before?" John asked to distract him from even thinking about trying another retreat. It really wasn't a question in John's mind. He was pretty certain Rodney had never had oral sex before. It had been pretty obvious._

 _"Sure, I--" Rodney began, starting to puff up into that pompous, self-centered manner that could be so irritating at times._

 _Then he stopped, staring into John's eyes. John could literally see him decide he should tell the truth._

 _"No," he said at last._

 _John smiled and kissed him, exploring Rodney's mouth until he left him breathless when the kiss was over. "When's the last time you had sex?" John asked him._

 _The kiss must have been a really good one, for it apparently addled Rodney's senses for a moment. "A little while ago," Rodney said, never taking his eyes from John's mouth. He was breathing heavily. It was apparent he meant what he and John had done._

 _John smiled. "I mean before what we did."_

 _"You mean with someone else?" he raised his eyes to Sheppard's._

 _"Yes, with someone else."_

 _Suddenly Rodney's eyes skated away. He stared over John's shoulder as if he couldn't meet John's gaze, looking embarrassed. "I--uh--never--"_

 _John smiled. He knew he'd been right. "With a man or woman, either one?"_

 _Still he would not meet John's eyes. "No." He looked horribly embarrassed--but there was no reason to be._

 _"Cool," John said._

 _"Cool?" Rodney said, seeming to honestly be offended. "That I'm--a 37-year-old man who's never gotten laid even once? A 37-year-old man who's a virgin--how's that for a joke?"_

 _"It's not a joke--it is cool. I'm the only one. I get to teach you everything."_

 _"I know what to do," Rodney said, obviously offended._

 _"I know you do--" John said, smiling at him "--and you're not a virgin any more."_

 _"I'm--not?" It had not begun as a question, but that was how it ended. Rodney looked surprised._

 _"Or do you think it takes sex with a woman to lose your virginity?"_

 _"No."_

 _"We had sex, Rodney." John reached down and wrapped his fingers around Rodney's thickening length where it pressed against his own. "We're about to have sex again--you're not a virgin anymore."_

 _They made love again, taking it slow this time, giving them both a chance to get to know each other and explore. Rodney had a chance to try performing oral sex--he gagged immediately when he put John's cock in his mouth, but was so damned stubborn he immediately tried it again even when John told him he didn't have to, relaxing at last and deciding before it was over that he liked it when John told him how good it felt._

 _They lay for hours afterward talking, which was really a surprise to John when he thought about it later. They had just had sex repeatedly; John had just come twice, and, though he was drowsy, he was too interested in Rodney to doze off--it soon occurred to him to wonder if Rodney had ever had anyone to really talk to before, if anyone had ever cared enough to really want to get to know the man inside him. At last they fell asleep, wrapped around each other on the narrow bed, and John slept soundly until he was awakened somewhere after dawn feeling movement against him._

 _"You okay?" John asked him once he was awake enough to remember where he was and who he was in bed with._

 _Rodney shifted again. "Uh--I need to--I need to go pee," he said at last._

 _John laughed. "Now that you mention it, I need to, too. Go on," he nodded his head toward the open bathroom door. "I'll go after you."_

 _"Uh--I'm naked."_

 _John grinned at him and slid a hand down to Rodney's nice warm ass. "I know."_

 _"Our clothes are all the way over there," Rodney said, glancing over John's shoulder in the direction John vaguely remembered having tossed their clothes when he had undressed them both._

 _"Yep." Still caressing his bare ass, John's mind going to some of the things he would like to try with that ass today._

 _Rodney stared up at him as if John should be getting it by now. "Well."_

 _"Well," John repeated._

 _"I can't go to the bathroom naked!"_

 _"I don't see why not." Geeze--this was a twist. "There's nobody here but us."_

 _"You'll see me!"_

 _"Rodney, I've been ‘seeing' you since last night. I've had my hands all over you."_

 _"That's different."_

 _John just stared at him._

 _Rodney got huffy. "I'm naked!"_

 _John decided this had to be a joke. He slid that exploring hand around to cup Rodney's balls in his palm. "Deliciously naked, if you ask me."_

 _Rodney shifted again. "I really need to pee!"_

 _"Then go."_

 _"Will you--" Rodney sat up, clutching that damned sheet to his chest again, "will you close your eyes?"_

 _"Rodney!"_

 _"Well."_

 _Not that again. "Okay--okay--go pee. I'll close my eyes until you're in the bathroom."_

 _Rodney stared at him until John closed his eyes. Almost immediately, John felt Rodney's warmth move away under the sheet, then leave the bed. Rodney called, "Okay," once he was in the bathroom, one second before the damned door closed behind him._

 _Okay._

 _John pushed back the sheet and got out of bed. He had promised to keep his eyes closed until Rodney was in the bathroom, and he had kept that promise, but he had not promised to not go join him there._

 _He waited until he heard the toilet flush, then silently opened the bathroom door to stand watching as Rodney moved to wash his hands--thoroughly, John noticed, soaping and rinsing them twice._

 _At last Rodney raised his eyes to the mirror before him to see John there behind him._

 _Rodney gave a sharp intake of breath, his eyes locked with those of John's reflection._

 _John smiled to put the other man at ease--or at least to try._

 _"I was lonely," he said, continuing to smile at Rodney._

 _"You weren't going to look," Rodney said weakly. He took a step closer to the sink, not turning around as he continued to stare at John's reflection._

 _"Admiring is more the word," John said. Then he decided that he had better sex things up before Rodney bolted for the towel rack or shower stall, anything to keep Rodney from fixating on being naked where John could see him--they were going to have to work on this._

 _John straightened from where he had been leaning against the door frame and crossed the room until he stood just behind Rodney. He wrapped his arms around him to press close and nibble at his ear, then smiled at their joint reflections._

 _"How about we take a shower together?" he asked._

 _"Shower?" Rodney sounded nervous._

 _"Let me restate that as ‘lets fool around in the shower--'"_

 _Afterward, John dried Rodney off and headed them back to bed. Rodney happened to notice the clock on his bedside table just before John got him to their destination, and panicked._

 _"I've got to get to my lab! They'll be expecting--"_

 _John made an immediate decision for both of them. "Atlantis isn't under imminent attack. No one is in danger and there is no 11th hour save you need to pull out of that gorgeous ass of yours-- an ass that I hope to get up close and personal with in the not too distant future, by the way-- we're calling in today and staying in bed."_

 _"I can't!" looking horrified._

 _"Nobody'll catch us. I'll say you were up sick all night and I came to check on you. Now I'm feeling like I'm coming down with it--" Somehow he managed to get Rodney on the bed in the midst of that, although Rodney immediately dived under the sheet and yanked it up to his neck again._

 _He was all wide-eyed surprise as he stared at John over it now. "You mean--lie?"_

 _"Haven't you ever called in sick?"_

 _"Only when I really was sick!"_

 _"I bet you never played hooky when you were in school, either."_

 _"Well--no."_

 _"Today's your first day."_

 _"Colonel!"_

 _Not that again. "John," John supplied. "John. John. John. You were moaning it well enough last night."_

 _"John!"_

 _That was better--but John was still getting his way._

 _He reached to grab up his headset from where he had somehow managed to leave it on the nightstand alongside Rodney's, although John could not actually remember having taken that kind of care with either one of them last night. He got it over his ear and in place, then keyed the control room and Weir as Rodney moaned unhappily from where he lay on the bed staring up at him._

 _"Elizabeth--this is John--I think I'm going to have to have my team stand down for the day. You said last night you wouldn't schedule any missions for a few days, anyway."_

 _"What's wrong, Colonel?" Weir's voice came back._

 _"Rodney wasn't feeling well last night so I came by to check on him this morning. Must be the stomach flu because he was up all night--"_

 _"Just kill me now," Rodney moaned quietly from the bed and flipped the sheet up over his head to cover it._

 _John had to fight back a grin--if Weir had heard that it would only strengthen their case._

 _"I'm not feeling too well myself, come to think of it," he added._

 _"Perhaps Dr. Beckett should check you both over."_

 _"No--I'm sure it's nothing more than a 24-hour bug, but it's best to not take any chances."_

 _"Of course. I'll notify Teyla and Ronon--feel better, Colonel."_

 _"I will, thanks." And he keyed off and removed the headset._

 _He could see Rodney breathing beneath the sheet, little puffs of air moving it over where his mouth would be._

 _John laid down naked on top of the sheet and hooked a leg over the covered form, then goosed  
Rodney in the side. "Can I come in--uh--under?" he asked._

 _"No--I should be at work in my lab today, not here playing with you," said from under the sheet._

 _"Nah. You need to have some fun today," John said, reaching up to peel back the sheet to reveal Rodney's face._

 _"I could be having fun in my lab--work is fun."_

 _He really did need to get out more. "I'm more fun." John stroked his arm through the sheet._

 _Rodney just stared at him for a moment. "In bed, you're more fun."_

 _"What about in the shower?"_

 _A split second's silence, then Rodney snarked out. "Yes, in the shower, too. But I could be making groundbreaking discoveries today."_

 _"So make them with me. We could try anal sex, if you'd like."_

 _Rodney had opened his mouth to say something. It snapped shut. Then he managed to repeat, "Anal sex?" with his voice rising at least half an octave._

 _"If you want to."_

 _"You--want to do that to me?" His voice went even higher still._

 _"One day--but I thought maybe you would want to do me first," which John figured was the most likely way this would happen, considering Mr. Often-Hypochondriac here and how intrusive the act would be. For some reason John was finding the idea of being taken to be extremely sexy, probably because of Rodney's reaction to the thought that John might have allowed someone else to take him that way. Possessive jealousy had never appealed to John before--but it was a real turn-on from Rodney. He liked the fact that Rodney had, at least in his own mind, staked John out and laid claim to him so much so that the very thought that John might have allowed himself to be taken in that way by someone else was completely unacceptable to him._

 _"You're not afraid it would hurt? That I might--damage you--or something--inside?"_

 _"Gay guys have been doing it since the dawn of time, and straight guys have been doing it to women for just as long--"_

 _"Have you--to a woman?"_

 _"No. I've wanted to, but never found a willing partner."_

 _"Oh." A very soft little word. Rodney's face was turning red. "I don't know what to do--I'd-- hurt you or something."_

 _John decided he had better not push. "Well, think about it. I know you need to eat so your hypoglycemia won't be an issue . Why don't I go get us some breakfast from the mess and bring it back here--you're supposed to be sick, remember, so don't you go sprinting off to your lab the minute I'm gone." John gave him a sharp look._

 _Rodney swallowed hard, and John knew before he spoke that Rodney's interest in work for the day had completely fled at the prospect of what John had proposed they might want to try._

 _"Okay--sure--I'll stay here." He was all blue eyes staring avidly at John's face._

 _John kissed him. "We'll eat, and maybe get some sleep to save up our strength for later, then we'll see what the evening holds." He gave him a grin._

 _"Holds?" Rodney echoed, adding a question mark vocally to the word._

 _John dressed as Rodney watched him, Rodney staying under the sheet the entire while--John could clearly see they were going to have to work on the nudity thing. He didn't want to have to wait until they were having sex to even have an opportunity to see Rodney naked._

 _He kissed Rodney and left him there hiding beneath the sheet. John made a quick stop at his own quarters to shave, brush his teeth, do something about his hair, and change into a clean uniform. He then headed to the mess to get breakfast for the two of them, having to remind himself repeatedly that he was supposed to be sick, and that grinning and humming to himself was not the kind of activity expected from someone feeling under the weather. He kept thinking about Rodney waiting in his quarters, and all the things they might try that afternoon after they had some food and rest. Just yesterday he had felt awkward in his own skin here, returning after six months away trapped in the sanctuary, but now...now John had never been so happy in all his life._

 _It never occurred to him that Rodney would not be waiting for him when he got back.  
_

~~~

 _Rodney started to get up the minute that John left him alone in his quarters that day, but the thought occurred to him that Sheppard might have forgotten something and that he might come back to catch him up and running around with no clothes on. John had not complained about his body, about Rodney not being in shape, but considering how great John looked naked--which was even better than he looked with clothes on--Rodney was certain that Sheppard had to consider him flabby and something of a disappointment by comparison._

 _Rodney got up once he felt safe that John wasn't coming back, then showered hurriedly, dressed as quickly as he could, and returned to the bathroom to shave and brush his teeth. He stopped to stare at himself in the mirror. He kept thinking he ought to be freaking out about now--he'd had sex with a man!--but all that was buried beneath the memory of how good it had felt and the thought that it had been Sheppard, and that Sheppard hadn't seemed ready to freak out about it._

 _Sheppard--what a stupid way to think of him after what they had done. John--that was better._

 _And John wanted Rodney to take him._

 _That thought was thrilling and exciting and scary as hell. What if Rodney hurt him? People weren't really made to have a--well--a dick shoved up the ass. Even the thought of the words caused a knot of both excitement and stark terror to tighten in Rodney's stomach. He wanted to do it, and he was literally glorying in the idea that John wanted him to do it to him--but something like that would have to hurt, wouldn't it? And what if he did some real damage to John? Sure, people had done it to other people before, but this was Rodney and John._

 _Inept Rodney, and John._

 _Inexperienced Rodney, and John._

 _Was-a-virgin-until-last-night Rodney, and John._

 _He wanted to do it--even the idea was making him hard again--but he just wished he knew what he was doing. If he had a book on it, or could borrow one. He didn't know if gay people had books that explained the particulars of that kind of sex, especially here on Atlantis, but there was always that possibility, and at least Rodney knew someone here who was gay._

 _He didn't know if Radek had ever meant for him to know, but Rodney had seen a framed photograph of Radek and a blond-haired man on the bedside table in Radek's quarters one night when they had been playing chess. The two men were smiling happily at the camera, standing cheek-to-cheek, their arms around each other, holding each other close._

 _Radek had seen Rodney's eyes on the photograph. "That was Milos," he had told Rodney. "He was my_ milovnik _\--my partner, my lover," he said quietly. "That photograph was taken the day before he was killed. We had been together for fifteen years that day."_

 _Rodney had turned his eyes from the photo to his friend, surprised. It had never even occurred to him that Radek might be gay._

 _"I'm sorry," Rodney said, thinking of Radek's loss, meaning it. He looked at the photograph again. "You look very happy."_

 _Radek got up from his chair and went to take up the photo from the nightstand to look down at it. "We were," he said quietly. "We were very much in love."_

 _Rodney remembered that now, the look on Radek's face, and then he thought about John, about how he felt about John, realizing he felt exactly the same--he loved John Sheppard, loved him and wanted to make him happy, and if John wanted--_

 _Rodney turned and left his quarters without another thought and went down the hallway and around the corner to the door to Radek's quarters. He knocked and waited, it never occurring to him that Radek would not be there even though it was past time that he would normally be in his lab._

 _The door opened on a grouchy looking and glassesless Zelenka._

 _"What? You could not wait until I got to my lab?" Radek demanded. He turned and started back into the room to sit down at a desk where his glasses lay minus a lense that was laying alongside. Rodney followed him, absently waving his hand over the panel on the inside of the door to close it after him._

 _Radek had taken up the glasses and lense, along with a minute screw and a tiny instrument that Rodney knew had to be a screwdriver._

 _"I lost a screw and the glass fell out--and don't you say I have screw loose or I shoot you. I have heard that before; I know what the idiom means," Radek fussed. He pulled the desk lamp forward, fit the lense back in place, and squinted as he inserted the screw and aimed at it with the little screwdriver. He was leaning so close that his nose was almost touching one of the earpieces. "_ Stupidní, _makes no sense. You need glasses to see how to fix, but can't use glasses and fix them at the same time."_

 _"Don't you have a spare pair?"_

 _"I didn't need a spare pair until now."_

 _"Oh, give me that!" Rodney reached to take the glasses out of Radek's hands, reseated the lense and screw, and had them secured together in an instant. He handed them back over._

 _"Thank you," Radek said, and cleaned the lenses before he restored them to his face. Rodney gave him the screwdriver and watched as Radek stored it away in what must have been an eyeglass repair kit. Then Radek turned to look at him. "So? I know you did not come here just to fix my eyeglasses."_

 _"You're gay," Rodney said, without any thought or preamble at all._

 _Radek blinked at him from behind the glasses as if that had made no sense at all. "I know that," he said at last._

 _"That's not what I meant. I mean--you know about--you know--sex between men and whatnot."_

 _Another slow blink, as if Radek were digesting the information, or perhaps converting it from English into Czech in his mind to make certain he had understood the statement properly. "Yes."_

 _"I--uh--are there books about it? About how--" Rodney's mouth remained open as he searched for what he wanted to say. "Um--" He waved a hand vaguely in the air and looked away, his mind pulling a total blank as to how to ask what he wanted to know._

 _"How, what?"_

 _"Uh--you know--how to."_

 _"How to what?"_

 _"To do it."_

 _"To do what, have sex with a man?"_

 _"What did you think I was asking you about, quantum theory?" Rodney bit out, but Radek only stared at him. "Are there books about it?" he asked, trying to remind himself to be on his best behavior--he really did want an answer._

 _"Yes, there are books."_

 _"Do you have any--that I could borrow?" Rodney asked, then thought. "In English, not in Czech?"_

 _"Rodney, are you thinking about having sex with a man?"_

 _Rodney opened his mouth, then closed it--oh, this was a very bad idea. If it should get out, if someone were to even suspect it was John--John was military, and that American military had that ludicrous ‘don't ask, don't tell' mentality. John could be called back to Earth, court- martialed, jailed. Rodney could ruin not only his career, but his entire life._

 _He opened his mouth again, searching quickly for some way around his own stupidity._

 _"I was just curious, but if you don't have a book I could borrow--" he turned and started for the door, determined to forget he had ever come here today, and to hope Radek would forget it as well._

 _But Radek had other ideas._

 _He got around Rodney and between him and the door before Rodney even knew how he had gotten there. He was looking up at him now with a concerned expression on his face._

 _"You don't have to be embarrassed, Rodney," Radek said._

 _"I'm not--" he stopped where he was and looked away, feeling his face heating up--and why in the fuck did he have to blush like some schoolgirl?_

 _"Is it Colonel Sheppard?"_

 _Rodney's eyes snapped back to Radek's face in an instant. "I never said--"_

 _Radek smiled. "You have been in love with him for quite a while."_

 _Rodney stared at him, shocked beyond words. Finally he managed, "How did you--?"_

 _Radek reached out to put a hand on Rodney's arm to lead him back to the sofa-like seating there in his quarters. Rodney allowed himself to be led. They both sat down, Rodney still staring at him. "It is Colonel Sheppard?" Radek asked again._

 _"You won't--tell anyone--will you? The American military--"_

 _"Are a bunch of_ neandrtálec _."_

 _Rodney had looked up the English translation for that word months ago when Radek had used it on him. It was Czech for ‘neanderthal.'_

 _"I'm your friend, Rodney--no I won't tell anyone. I wouldn't tell anyway. Who a man has sex with is his own business."_

 _Rodney nodded._

 _"It is Colonel Sheppard?" Radek asked for the third time._

 _"Yes," Rodney said at last, "but, how did you know how I feel about him, and that he might--"_

 _"You have been--what is the word?--fallen on him for quite a while. I have been in love, Rodney, I know love when I see it."_

 _"But what makes you think that John would--?"_

 _"‘John' now, not ‘Colonel Sheppard'--it is long past time," Radek said with a smile. "He flirts with you, Rodney. The two of you are like old married couple together."_

 _Rodney had to smile at that._

 _"You have never had sex with a man?" Radek asked. "Has he?"_

 _"I haven't. He hasn't--not that way--you know," Rodney waved a hand vaguely._

 _"And the two of you--you have not tried the sex yet?"_

 _"Well--some things--not all the way doing--you know."_

 _Somehow Radek seemed to understand that. "You have done things to give each other pleasure, but have not tried penetrative sex yet."_

 _Rodney opened his mouth, and closed it again, then opened it to say, "If you mean--uh--"_

 _"Anal intercourse."_

 _He could not believe he was talking to Radek about this. "No." And he was blushing again; he could feel it. "You have?" he asked hopefully._

 _"Yes--it is very nice," Radek said, smiling reminiscently._

 _"Nice?" Not a word Rodney would have even conceived of for such a thing._

 _"Good. It is wonderful. So close to someone. So intimate. It can give much pleasure to both."_

 _"Doesn't it hurt?" Rodney asked._

 _"No, Rodney, it does not have to hurt. If it does, you stop and use more_ mazadlo _\--uh-- lubricant."_

 _"Lubricant?" Rodney asked, hearing his voice go up at least half an octave._

 _When he got back to his quarters later, he found his door shut but unlocked. He discovered the reason when he signaled it open to find a very pissed off John Sheppard sitting on the foot of his bed. John's arms were crossed across his chest, his eyes on Rodney as Rodney signaled the door closed behind him._

 _"Where have you been?" Sheppard demanded._

 _Rodney opened his mouth to answer, but did not get a word out before Sheppard was going again._

 _"I got here with our breakfast and you weren't here. I went to your lab to drag you back here, and you weren't there. You weren't in the mess hall. You weren't in my quarters. You weren't in the control room or the infirmary or the jumper bay--I looked all over Atlantis for you. Where were you?" he demanded again._

 _"You looked all those places for me?"_

 _"Didn't I just say that?" This did not seem like John Sheppard at all, at least like no version of him Rodney had ever seen before._

 _"I went to see Radek," he said, motioning with a thumb back in the direction of Radek's quarters. He opened his mouth to say more, but Sheppard didn't give him a chance._

 _"Zelenka? You went to see Zelenka when you knew I was coming right back?_

 _"Yes. He's gay, and I thought--"_

 _"Gay?"_

 _"Yes, that's why I went to see him, because--"_

 _"Why?--you got a taste of what it was like being with a man last night and now you want someone with more experience?" John said. "I'm going to squash that little fucker like a bug."_

 _Rodney stared at him, astounded. What the hell?_

 _Then it slowly began to dawn on him--Sheppard was jealous. He was jealous of Radek. Jealous over Rodney. Sheppard was jealous._

 _"You're jealous!" he said aloud, absolutely delighted. He bounced up on the balls of his feet and back down again, grinning suddenly._

 _"I am not!" Sheppard glared at him._

 _"You are too. You're jealous of Radek. You're jealous over me--this is cool," Rodney said, giving another little rock up onto the balls of his feet._

 _"Cool!" Sheppard snarled from where he still sat on the foot of Rodney's bed. "You think it's cool to suddenly decide you're gay after one night of sex with a man, and to go running off to the first gay guy you can find because the guy you spent the night with isn't gay enough for you?"_

 _Rodney could not help but to continue to grin. "It's cool that you're jealous. No one's ever been jealous over me before--not that you have any reason to be. I just don't mind you being jealous because that means you like me."_

 _Sheppard only glared at him._

 _"I didn't go to see Radek because you're not ‘gay enough,' whatever that's supposed to mean. You're you and you're all I want, whether you liked women or men or both or whatever before me. I went to see Radek because we don't know how to--you know--and he does."_

 _"What? Did he offer to give you a demonstration?"_

 _Jealous Sheppard was really cool to see--but he was even denser than normal. "Colonel--"_

 _Sheppard let loose with a snarl worthy of a pissed-off lion at Rodney's use of his rank, giving Rodney a look that could kill._

 _" **John** ," Rodney said, stressing his name, saying it slowly and deliberately to make certain Sheppard understood he had gotten the point across, "Radek isn't interested in me any more than I'm interested in him. He's still mourning his partner who was killed several years ago; that's why Radek accepted the IOA's offer to work at the Antarctic outpost and to come to Atlantis. He's still in love with Milos and hasn't been with anyone since Milos died. He's not interested in me and I'm not interested in him--I'm interested in you, in what we did last night, and this morning, and in the other things we can do together. Radek knows about all that. I went to see if he had a book about it."_

 _John stared at him for a long moment. "You--went to borrow a book about men having sex with men?"_

 _"I thought he might have one--he didn't, but he told me all about it."_

 _John stared at him again. "You discussed our having sex with Zelenka."_

 _"No--not us having sex with Radek," Rodney clarified--surely John didn't think Rodney was suggesting--"Just about you and me." He motioned back and forth between them._

 _"You went to talk to Zelenka about our having sex."_

 _Suddenly Rodney understood. "He won't tell anyone. He knows you're military--and I didn't tell him it was you. He just--knew." Rodney turned away and paced across the room, telling himself that he knew no one could ever know about them, that John would never want anyone to know, that the reason was because of the American military's rules about same-sex relationships- -but some part of Rodney spoke up to say it was because of Rodney, that John wouldn't want anyone to know it was Rodney, even if someone could know John was involved in a same-sex relationship._

 _"Knew?" Sheppard was saying._

 _"What?" Rodney asked, turning to look at him, Rodney now wringing his hands together._

 _"You said he knew it was me, that you didn't tell him, but he knew."_

 _"Yes."_

 _"How?"_

 _Rodney looked down at his hands and made himself quit wringing them. "How, what?"_

 _"How did he know it was me?"_

 _"He just--said I--" Rodney motioned with one hand. He couldn't tell Sheppard what Radek had said, that he had known for a long time that Rodney was in love with John._

 _"Said you, what?"_

 _Rodney opened his mouth, and closed it again, now rubbing his hands together because he didn't know what else to do with them. He made himself stop and shoved them down into his pockets instead. "Hm?" he asked, trying to pretend he didn't know what Sheppard had asked him._

 _"Zelenka said you--what?" Sheppard asked. He stood from where he had been sitting on the foot of Rodney's bed._

 _Rodney stared at him for a moment, and then looked away. He told himself that he should just go ahead and tell him and get it over with. Sheppard wouldn't stop until Rodney told him._

 _"He said I'd been in love with you for a long time," Rodney said quietly, staring at his framed diplomas on the wall, not seeing them._

 _For a moment there was silence between them, long enough for Rodney to call himself twenty- times a fool. How could he be so stupid as to tell Sheppard he was in love with him? A man like John Sheppard wouldn't--_

 _Then he heard John's voice. "You're in love with me?" spoken very softly. He could literally hear the smile in John's tone._

 _Rodney turned his eyes back to him. "Well--yes--I guess so."_

 _"You **guess** so?" John demanded. His smile was gone in an instant. _

_"Well--yes, I am. I just didn't know it. I knew I--about you--I just--when I was a kid, they kept calling me gay. I always swore I wasn't--and I liked girls, women, I just seem to turn them all off--I noticed men, noticed you especially, had dreams about the two of us--you know--in bed--I just kept telling myself--"_

 _Somehow John had seemed to understand that, although Rodney couldn't imagine how._

 _John crossed stand close to him, the smile on his face again. He reached out and stroked a hand down Rodney's arm, then stepped closer still to run that hand up under the back of Rodney's tee shirt to touch bare skin. "You're in love with me?"_

 _This wasn't the response Rodney had expected--but it was nice, very, very nice. "Yeah."_

 _"Say it." John was smiling, sexy, looking at Rodney now in a very predatory way that sent a jolt right through Rodney's body and to his groin._

 _"Say what?"_

 _"Say you're in love with me--tell me." Such a predatory, sexy look in those hazel eyes._

 _"I'm in love with you," Rodney said._

 _John stepped even closer, drawing Rodney into his arms until their bodies were touching from chest to thighs. "Say it again."_

 _"I'm in love with you." So easy to say--and John was smiling at him._

 _"So, Zelenka had to tell you, huh?"_

 _"He just put a name to it."_

 _"So what else did my good buddy Zelenka say?"_

 _"He said you flirt with me."_

 _"That, I do."_

 _"You do?" Rodney was surprised._

 _"You didn't notice?"_

 _"You could have told me."_

 _John grinned. "What--that I was flirting with you?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Would kind of ruin the effect."_

 _"At least I'd know."_

 _"Well, I'm flirting with you now."_

 _"I figured it out this time," Rodney told him._

 _"So--did the magnificent Zelenka have anything else to say?"_

 _"He said we're like an old married couple togther."_

 _"Old married, huh?"_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"I'd say more like young-ish and hot, not old."_

 _"You think so?" Rodney smiled. "What about married?" As soon as he asked, he realized that  
maybe he shouldn't. He had just enough time to cringe inside before John smiled and kind of shrugged, which wasn't so bad._

 _"So, did Zelenka have any more wisdom?"_

 _"He told me about the sex, how you--you know--how to do it, without it hurting."_

 _"Oh?"_

 _"You still want to do that, don't you?"_

 _"Yeah--do you?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"You gonna tell me what he told you?" John asked after a moment._

 _"I will, but I thought--can we eat first?" Rodney said, glancing over to where John had left a tray of food on Rodney's desk._

 _John laughed. "Sure, we can eat--wouldn't want your blood sugar to drop at an inopportune moment."_

 _They ate, sitting on chairs they pulled up to Rodney's desk. The food had long ago grown cold, but Rodney had a small microwave he had brought back aboard the Daedalus that allowed them to heat it up._

 _Afterward, John lead Rodney over to the bed so they could lay down together, both of them fully dressed except for their shoes--although John had his hands under Rodney's shirt to touch bare skin in moments._

 _"So, what did Zelenka tell you about the sex?" John asked after a prolonged kiss._

 _"We need to find something we can use as lubrication."_

 _"Oh," John sounded doubtful for a moment. "That makes sense. That part of the body wouldn't make it's own lubrication like a woman's vagina does."_

 _"Oh--it does?" Rodney said._

 _John gave him a weird look._

 _"Of course it does," Rodney added, feeling stupid._

 _"Are you interested in sex with me, or sex with women, Rodney?"_

 _"With you--you know that."_

 _"Good, because I'm interested in sex with you."_

 _Rodney suddenly realized something. "Is that all?" he asked._

 _"Is what all?"_

 _"I told you--you know how I feel about you. Do you--?" his words trailed off. He couldn't ask Sheppard, not outright._

 _"Have feelings for you?"_

 _Rodney swallowed hard and nodded his head._

 _"Why do you think I said you had to come off the team? That I'm compromised where you're concerned. That threatening you is the one sure way to make me do something?"_

 _"You--do--then?" Rodney asked, hopefully._

 _"Yes, I do, Rodney."_

 _"You love me?"_

 _"Yes, Rodney." Sheppard's tone was almost indulgent._

 _"Really?"_

 _"Yes, Rodney." He was smiling now--definitely indulgent._

 _"Like--in love? Not--like a friend?"_

 _"Both, Rodney."_

 _"Both?"_

 _"We're friends, incase you haven't noticed. You're my best friend--and I'm in love with you."_

 _Rodney was smiling now._

 _John kissed him then rubbed his nose to Rodney's. "So--lubrication, huh?"_

 _"They make stuff for it, which we can't get here, of course. Radek said we could use lotion or sunscreen, oil--"_

 _"You're not putting sunscreen up inside of me--" Sheppard frowned._

 _"I have lotion--hypoallergenic, fragrance free, no preserv--"_

 _John interrupted him. "I could live with lotion."_

 _"Radek said to use a lot, that you couldn't really use too much, on both the--you know--one who- -and the other--inside--stretching--and whatnot."_

 _"Stretching?" John looked dubious. His eyebrows knit together._

 _"He said we shouldn't rush into anything, that we should take our time--anal play, he called it-- using lubrication, before we try sex that way."_

 _Rodney told John everything Radek had told him, thinking all the while that it ought to seem weird to be talking to John about things like prostates and putting their fingers up each others nether regions--but it didn't seem weird at all. They lay wrapped around each other, talking and touching through their clothing, both of them becoming more and more aroused._

 _"So--are you up to try a little of that anal play, maybe more if we want to?" John asked him at last._

 _"Yes," Rodney said, so aroused that he would have been willing to try just about anything John proposed in that moment. He rubbed his crotch against John's, trying to get as much stimulation as he could through their pants and underwear._

 _"So--where's that lotion?" John asked._

 _"Nightstand."_

 _John gave him a grin. "Bet I know what you've been using it for."_

 _Rodney felt his face heat in a second--yes, he had used it for his own private entertainment, something he had developed a habit of doing almost every night of his adult life in order to relax enough to go to sleep. He wasn't ashamed of it, he just didn't want to talk about it, not to John, not to anyone. He didn't say anything._

 _"Did you ever think of me when you were masturbating?"_

 _Rodney jerked at the sound of the word. Sheppard must have felt it. His face became immediately concerned. "Rodney, jerking off is perfectly normal for a guy who doesn't have a lover sharing his bed. I have my own supply of lotion in my bedside table in my quarters."_

 _"You do?"_

 _"Yeah," John smiled. "Did you ever think about me when you were pleasuring yourself?"_

 _"Yeah," Rodney admitted._

 _"About us having sex?" Sheppard asked, sliding a hand down between them to cup and rub Rodney's crotch through his pants._

 _"Well, no, not really," Rodney said, sighing as he pressed up into John's palm._

 _"You didn't?" John looked disappointed._

 _"I didn't know I--I'd told myself I wasn't interested in guys all my life--that I couldn't be interested in you that way. I fantasized about you, but it was usually you and me sharing some woman, me watching you, or you watching me and telling me it was hot." He could feel himself blushing again, but as long as Sheppard kept that hand moving on him Rodney would happily tell him anything he wanted to know._

 _"You and me sharing some woman, huh?"_

 _"Yeah. I thought I was fantasizing about the woman. I realize now I was fantasizing about you."_

 _"Freaking out now to realize it was me you wanted all along?" John asked with a smile._

 _"No--just keep that hand moving," Rodney said, starting to move his hips restlessly beneath John's massage._

 _"And let me clarify now before we go any further that I'm not sharing you with anyone, ever--if any man, woman, or unsexed alien puts a hand on you, I'm killing somebody."_

 _God--that was hot. Possessive John. "Same thing goes for you--no more alien priestesses, Ancient bimbos, or hot chicks in virtual environments, Kirk."_

 _"None, ever."_

 _"Good--and don't stop moving that hand."_

 _"Glad to oblige," John said, and gave him a gentle squeeze, which brought out a low moan of pleasure. John kissed him, his tongue exploring every inch of Rodney's mouth. "You said you dreamed about us?" John asked, after the kiss._

 _"Dreamed?" Rodney wasn't really thinking any longer--at least not with his brain._

 _"In bed?" John prompted._

 _"Yeah," Rodney admitted, rocking up into John's hand now. He was nuzzling John's neck--John smelled good, coffee and Aqua Velva. Rodney had never thought aftershave smelled sexy before, but John certainly smelled sexy._

 _His fingers dug into John's shoulders through the black tee shirt, moving closer, his tongue snaking out to taste the warm skin beneath John's ear. John made a quiet sound of pleasure--he was aroused, too; Rodney could feel it against him._

 _Rodney wanted to touch him, to free John's cock from his pants and boxers, to wrap his fingers around it and make John moan with the things he could make him feel. He slid a hand down from John's shoulder, over his back, and around, trying to slide it between them--but John would not allow it, removing his own hand from where he had been cupping Rodney's crotch to capture Rodney's arm instead. John rolled them over until Rodney was on his back with John over him, John's other hand going to capture Rodney's free arm to pin him to the bed gently by both wrists. He moved to straddle Rodney, groin to groin, rubbing his own erection against Rodney's through their clothing._

 _"I'll let you touch me--but only after you tell me," John said, looking down at him._

 _"Tell you what?" Rodney asked, desperate now to move against him._

 _"Tell me what you dreamed about us, the sexy things."_

 _"Uh--"_

 _"I'm not going to let you go so you can touch me until you tell me," John said. He leaned down to kiss Rodney, then moved to gently nip Rodney's jawline before he eased down enough to run his tongue from the warm skin just above the collar of Rodney's tee shirt and up, settling at last to closing his teeth lightly over Rodney's earlobe before blowing gently into the ear canal._

 _Rodney was breathing heavily now, not believing the jolt of pure sexual lust that moved through his body at what John had just done. He curled his hands into fists above John's imprisoning grip, feeling his skin flush hot, supremely alive in every nerve ending, ready for sex, ready for anything John wanted to do to him._

 _At last John looked down at him again, a look on his handsome face that told Rodney he knew exactly what he had made Rodney feel. "Tell me," he said again--and Rodney did, telling him dreams from which he had awakened to damp sheets, dreams of being taken, of taking. He'd refused to admit what they had meant, what he had wanted--but he did want it; he knew that now._

 _John rocked his hips forward to Rodney's, then again, and again, as Rodney told him, causing Rodney to moan and move up in a matching rhythm that only increased the pleasure to both of them. He kissed Rodney intently when Rodney was finished relating the dreams, his tongue exploring Rodney's mouth, then moved off of him, releasing Rodney's wrists. Rodney tried to go with him, trying to roll as well, hooking a leg around John to try to keep the full body contact, even clothed, but John had other ideas. "No, I want you naked. Undress for me."_

 _Rodney reached down and started to work at his belt._

 _John placed a hand over Rodney's to still what he was doing. "No--I want you to stand up and undress for me where I can watch you."_

 _Rodney stared at him. "You mean--"_

 _"Strip for me. I want to watch you."_

 _No--that wasn't--_

 _"I want your body to belong to me, Rodney. To me more than you. The things we're going to do to each other, are things neither one of us has ever done with anyone else--let your body belong to me. Do what I say. Undress for me."_

 _"I--I'm not in good shape," Rodney said, staring at John, wanting so much what John was saying.  
"I like your shape--undress for me. Stand up where I can see."_

 _Rodney started to move, but stopped again. "Will--you'll belong to me the same way? Your body? To me more than to you?" he stared at John._

 _"Yes, it does, if you want it."_

 _"Yes, I want it!"_

 _John laughed, his voice huskier than usual. "Undress for me. Show me what's mine--then I'll undress for you and go down on my knees before you to--"_

 _Rodney didn't even hear the remainder of the words. He was scrambling up off the bed and trying to unbuckle his belt at the same time he was trying to get his tee shirt off. John stretched out on his back on the bed, smiling, one hand going down to cup and rub the noticeable bulge at his crotch as he crossed one ankle to rest it atop the other. Rodney stopped when he was down to his boxers, wondering what John thought of what he could see so far._

 _John smiled sexily, continuing to rub his own crotch as he watched Rodney. "Everything. I want to see bare skin."_

 _Rodney nervously bent to pull his boxers down, then stepped out of them. He wanted to put his hands before himself, to try to cover up, but stopped when he saw John's eyes moving over him, drinking in his body. John was getting off the bed now, coming toward him, stopping only to begin to undress slowly until Rodney reached out to stop him._

 _"No," Rodney said. "You're mine. I'll undress you." And Rodney did, slowly, exploring every inch as he went. He knelt before John as he lowered his boxers, his eyes fixing on that big cock when it was revealed--then his hands went to it, and his lips. He kissed the head, then ran his lips along one side, then the other. It was so different from Rodney's own, thicker, circumcised, heavily veined, though almost as long._

 _Rodney lifted it upward with his hand, then ran his tongue up the underside before taking it into his mouth, some part of him still amazed that he was doing this to John. He took him as deeply as he could, to the point he almost gagged, then again. John's fingers were in his hair, gently pressing._

 _After a few minutes, John stroked the back of Rodney's head. "Let me do it for you, Rodney. Let me--"_

 _Rodney drew back enough to take John's cock from his mouth, then he kissed the tip and looked up at John. John helped him to his feet and drew him into his arms, reaching down for a moment to capture both their erections in one hand to trap them together. He touched his nose to Rodney's, kissed him, then smiled as he released his hand and slowly went to his knees to take Rodney into his mouth, sucking him deep, succeeding in deepthroating him for the first time so well that Rodney's knees went weak and he had to remind himself to not let them give way. Rodney couldn't stand still; he had to move his hips, even when he did his best not to--but John hummed happily when Rodney pushed his cock forward to the back of his throat. The humming sent waves of pleasure through Rodney's groin. He began to move even more, receiving the humming again in return, John's hands stroking his thighs, reaching around to stroke his ass, his eyes rising to meet Rodney's as he drew back on his cock again, just keeping the sheathed head between his lips before taking it deep into his throat again._

 _At last he drew back, taking his mouth from Rodney's cock, and stood. John drew Rodney close for a kiss, their hard cocks trapped between them--then they were on the bed, exploring, touching. When John moved to get the lotion from Rodney's bedside drawer, Rodney wasn't nervous at all--just aroused, unbearably aroused._

 _John handed over the lotion and laid back to allow Rodney to be in control. He spread his thighs and drew his knees up as Rodney settled between. He sucked John deeply, humming from time to time now that he knew how good that felt, and stroked his fingers along the inside of John's thighs and toward his ass. He kept trying to fumble with the lotion all the while, but he was afraid he would get it all over the sheets if he didn't look at his hands so he gave John's cock one last hard suck then kissed the head before turning to the exploration of a new part of John's body. He could see that tightly puckered orifice--how would he ever--?_

 _He slicked up a finger as John watched him, John seeming very interested in the proceedings, then he gently, lightly, ran his finger over John's perineum and anus, hearing John breathe out, "Oh--that's--" with an interested sound._

 _Rodney did it again and John moved his hips slightly with what Rodney hoped was pleasure. He added more lotion to his finger and returned it to stroke John's opening, looking up at John's flushed face._

 _"Put it in," John breathed, and Rodney gently pressed forward, feeling the tight ring of muscle give, and the heat inside as John drew in a soft breath._

 _"Are you okay?" Rodney asked, in no further than the first knuckle._

 _"Yes--push it all the way in."_

 _And Rodney did, kissing the tip of John's penis as he did so--oh, this was nice, hot and tight in there. Rodney could feel the move of muscles against his finger--but how in the hell did a dick fit in there? It seemed far too tight._

 _"Pull your finger back, Rodney. I--"_

 _"Oh--God--did I hurt you? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry--" as he withdrew his finger quickly._

 _But John was smiling. "No--I'm okay--I meant, pull it back and push it in again. Move it. I want to feel it."_

 _"Oh--okay--sorry," Rodney said, feeling stupid but also delighted. He slicked up his finger again and gently inserted it as deeply as he could, then slowly began to move it in and out, receiving a moan of obvious pleasure from John, who began to move his hips as if he were trying to get it in even deeper._

 _"That's--good," John said, sounding surprised, and very pleased._

 _"You like it?"_

 _"Yes--can you--more?"_

 _Rodney laughed, delighted. "Two fingers?"_

 _"Yes," John said, with no hesitation._

 _Rodney withdrew his finger to prepare two, noting that John was running his fingers down over his stomach slowly, then to his penis to stroke it, John moving his hips slowly in rhythm to his stroking--God, that was hot._

 _Rodney returned his fingers back to John's opening and looked up at him. "Okay?"_

 _"Yes--do it."_

 _Rodney pressed forward, hearing a soft sound from John as he got past that ring of muscle. He waited a moment, then slowly pushed deeper. He gave John a moment to accept it, then began to move his fingers in and out, in and out, hearing John's moan of undeniable pleasure--John was really getting into this, which reminded Rodney of what Radek had told him about the prostate._

 _He gently began to probe for that magic spot as he kept his fingers in motion, at last stroking over a spot that caused John to gasp and arch his hips off the bed, scaring Rodney to death._

 _He withdrew his fingers quickly, certain he had done something--_

 _"No--no--God--felt good--do it again--" John said, almost beyond words now. He canted his hips up invitingly, his eyes on Rodney's face with pure hunger now._

 _Rodney slicked up the two fingers again and pushed them back in, sliding them out, then back in again, hitting that spot and causing John to gasp again--this was amazing, making John react this way. Rodney bent to suck John's penis into his mouth, taking John as deeply as he could with his fingers, brushing over his prostate again and again, causing John to gasp and arch up into Rodney's mouth, Rodney having to watch and pull back to keep from being inadvertently choked each time._

 _"No--no--no--" John was saying, his fingers in the hair at the back of Rodney's head, and Rodney stopped and looked up at him. John was flushed, his face and even his chest, and his hair was even more disarrayed than usual. He looked so gorgeous, and so sexy. "Can I--to you--I want you to feel that--please, Rodney--"_

 _"Yes," Rodney said, with no hesitation--God, yes, he wanted that, to feel what John had been feeling._

 _He gently withdrew his fingers from John's body and John drew him up for a kiss, rolling them on their sides then Rodney onto his back with John over him._

 _John kissed his way down Rodney's body, nibbling and licking, tonguing both Rodney's nipples, which sent a jolt of pure sexual excitement through Rodney's body. John sucked him deep, managing to deepthroat him several times, settling between Rodney's spread thighs before Rodney even knew he had spread them._

 _John was looking up at him when a well-lubed finger stroked over his anus. Rodney's hips jerked with surprise--oh, that was odd. Okay, but odd. Okay because it was John._

 _When John's finger entered him Rodney gasped. It went deeper and Rodney couldn't help but think--weird, but not bad. Interesting, in a weird kind of way. Not unpleasant by any means-- just weird. John slid the finger in and out, and that was better. It burned just a bit--but that was okay._

 _When John removed the finger to slick it up again along with another, Rodney felt oddly bereft-- he wanted it to continue, John to continue doing that. The insertion of both fingers gave Rodney a moment's pause to wonder if he did want it to continue--his body tightened down involuntarily until John said, "Relax, Rodney," keeping the fingers still until Rodney did as he was told and John could continue._

 _John started moving them in and out and that was good, very good, in fact, interesting and very sexual--then it occurred to Rodney that John was fucking him with his fingers and Rodney got the giggles, which was not the sort of thing one wanted to get in this situation._

 _John gave him a sharp look. "You're giggling?"_

 _"Well--it's just--I thought--" he could hardly talk for laughing._

 _"I have my fingers up your ass and you're laughing?" although he kept them moving, which was very nice._

 _"It just--occurred to me--you're--fucking me--with--your--fingers--" still chuckling._

 _"Fucking you, huh?" John asked. "Were you fucking me when you did the same thing to me a little while ago?" going particularly deep now--which was very interesting._

 _"Didn't occur to me then--thought of it as taking you with them." He was still smiling, though the giggling had stopped._

 _"Taking me, huh? I like that better. Consider yourself taken." Whether he planned it or not, Rodney didn't know, but on the word ‘taken,' John found his prostate for the first time and Rodney McKay yelled--something._

 _When he could see straight again, John was smirking at him._

 _"At least you yelled ‘John,' not ‘Sheppard' or ‘Colonel,'" he said, still smirking._

 _"Don't **do** that!"_

 _"What--this?" he asked, and brushed his fingers across it again._

 _Rodney got half the yell out before he clamped his hand over his own mouth. He glared at John a moment later just before removing the hand. "Stop that!"_

 _John got a puzzled look on his face. "You really want me to stop it?" He started to withdraw his fingers._

 _"No!--don't you dare take those out!" he demanded, which brought the smile back to John's face again. "It's just--I didn't think--"_

 _"Feels good, doesn't it?"_

 _His fingers were moving in and out, but staying away from that spot. "Good doesn't even come close--do it again," he said, and placed his hand over his mouth as a peremptory move to keep himself from yelling again._

 _John reached up to drag his hand away. "I want to hear you--took you damn long enough to say my name, you can at least yell it now."_

 _"But I'm loud!"_

 _"I don't care if you're loud--I want to hear you." He bent to suck Rodney into his mouth, accepting him into his throat when he hit that magic spot and Rodney yelled and arched off the bed again. John pushed his fingers in and out, in and out, and Rodney moved with him, fucking himself on John's fingers--there was no other word for it. God he had never thought anything could feel like this._

 _"Three fingers--use three," Rodney said, breathing heavily._

 _"Can you handle that?" John asked as he removed his fingers to slick them up again._

 _"Yes--then your penis," Rodney said, reaching down to stroke his own cock as he waited, his hips moving restlessly to his own touch._

 _John looked surprised as hell--but he couldn't be half as surprised as Rodney was. "But--you're not ready for that, are you?"_

 _"I want it. I've never wanted anything so much in all my life."_

 _"Are you sure?"_

 _"Yes, I'm sure--three fingers, that's what Radek said to do if you're going all the way. And get the lotion into me and on you--please, I don't want to talk about it, I want to do it. I want you to do it, to me."_

 _That was all John needed--but before he moved to three fingers or anything else, he moved up in bed to kiss Rodney quickly but thoroughly. The remainder of their preparation was quick but thorough, moving Rodney right past begging and into demanding._

 _"That's enough. That's enough. Do it."_

 _"You're sure about this?" John asked, moving to kneel between Rodney's spread thighs._

 _"Yes--now get on with it," Rodney demanded._

 _"Do you want me to use a condom? I have some in my wallet--I'm clean, though, and I know you---"_

 _"Don't you dare. I want to feel you, not something between us."_

 _John smiled and kissed him, "You got it." He then seemed to be considering the logistics of how to do this for a moment. "We could do this doggy style, you on your hands and knees and me behind you."_

 _"No, I want to see you."_

 _"You on top?" John suggested._

 _"I want you in me--"_

 _"I know that--and we could, you'd just be straddling me."_

 _Rodney gave him a look he hoped put an end to that idea--no, he wasn't a gymnast._

 _"Then let me have the pillow."_

 _"Pillow?"_

 _"Just let me have it, Rodney."_

 _Rodney passed it down to him, wondering what the hell he had in mind--whatever it was, Rodney was ready to get on with it._

 _"Lift up your ass. I need to get this under you."_

 _Rodney complied and John tucked it beneath him, then took a moment to make sure he was comfortable, although Rodney's first question was, "Why do I have my ass on a pillow?" as he stared at John and continued to stroke himself. "All the blood will go to my head."_

 _"All your blood is in your cock," John told him, then playfully slapped Rodney's hand away from that part of his body. "Mine," he told him firmly. "Don't touch again until I tell you you can. I don't want you coming before we do this."_

 _"Well, get on with it then," he said as John shifted closer and grabbed the lotion to generously slick himself up. He then moved atop Rodney, bending to kiss him, then straightening up onto his knees to look down at him. "Draw your knees up, but keep your legs spread."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Just do it, Rodney," John was sounding impatient now. Rodney did as he was asked, looking up at John, not quite certain about this position as he lay there open and fully exposed._

 _"You want me to stay like this while we--"_

 _"Only for a second, then I'll support your legs--trust me."_

 _Rodney felt a blunt pressure at his anus as John leaned over him, John sliding his hands down to draw Rodney's legs up over his arms to support them as he pressed forward. Rodney felt John's penis going in, himself stretching to accommodate it--God, it was so big, too big, bigger than Rodney had imagined. His body tightened down, making it hurt, until John stopped, his hazel eyes meeting Rodney's._

 _"Are you sure you want to do this?" John asked, very quietly. "I love you, Rodney--you don't have to do anything--"_

 _But he did--he had to do this, for himself, for John. "Yes, I want to do it--just go slow."_

 _And John did, entering him with infinite care, giving him time to accept and adjust. It was so intimate, taking John into him, seeing the look of concern on John's face, the look of love. God, so full, too full, but Rodney wanted this. They both did._

 _John was breathing heavily, the strain of taking so much time showing now on his face. At last he was fully in and stopped to wait for Rodney--but that was not what Rodney wanted, not now, not after they had gotten this far._

 _"Move. Move in me. Move. Don't be still. Please," he begged, and John complied, drawing back slightly and pushing forward, and Rodney gasped. John drew back and pushed forward again, then again, angling slightly differently and simulating Rodney's prostate, causing him to call out John's name again._

 _It burned somewhat, but it felt good, even better watching the pleasure on John's face, the times he would pause, buried in Rodney, to kiss him, to say after that Rodney was so tight, so hot, that it was so good._

 _"Harder, please, harder," Rodney begged, and John began to thrust harder--so good. So good. John began to thrust even harder still, now jolting Rodney beneath him._

 _Rodney had not touched himself--but John told him to now, and Rodney did._

 _"I'm going to come," John said, breathing heavily. "Do you want me to pull out?"_

 _"Don't you dare take it out." Rodney was so close--and with the thought that John was about to come, pleasure moved through Rodney's body--and he was coming, semen shooting onto his stomach and chest, and he could feel the heat of John coming in him--_

 _When Rodney's senses came back to him again, John was cradling him in his arms._

 _"Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?" John's hands were touching him all over. Rodney noticed the pillow that had been under his ass had now been shoved aside._

 _"I'm fine--sore, but I'm okay."_

 _Actually, his ass was as sore as hell, but Rodney had never felt so good in all his life._

 _"Sore?" John winced. The concerned look had not left his face._

 _"It's okay--I just feel--taken, I guess. You'll see."_

 _"Are you sure you're okay?"_

 _"I'm fine. I feel great. Better than great--that was amazing," he grinned at his lover._

 _John was apparently not ready to let it go just yet. He released Rodney to sit up cross-legged on the bed, staring at him. "You're sure you're--"_

 _"I'm okay, John," Rodney said, thoroughly enjoying the afterglow relaxing his every muscle, just as he had been enjoying warmth of John's naked body against him until John had sat up. "That was amazing. You were amazing."_

 _John just would not let it die. "You're not bleeding or anything."_

 _Rodney had no idea if that was supposed to be a question, or not._

 _John was still staring at him, looking so worried._

 _"You're in love with me," Rodney said, smiling, realizing the cause of John's concern._

 _"Yeah, I guess I am," John said, running his fingers back through his hair._

 _"Guess?" What the hell did he mean ‘guess?'_

 _John smiled. "Know, understand, believe, comprehend beyond doubt," as he settled back down beside Rodney again, drawing Rodney into his arms. "You're sure you're--"_

 _"For the last time--yes--" Rodney said. People were always accusing Rodney of being a hypochondriac; didn't John at least think Rodney would know if there was something wrong with him after what they'd done?_

 _He snuggled against John for a moment, thinking he could really get used to this as he ran his fingers through the hair on John's chest. This was nice, and he was sleepy. Very nice. Very--_

 _The next thing he knew John was gently shaking him awake sometime later._

 _"What--?" Rodney said, for a moment not knowing what was going on._

 _"Did you lock the door?" John was asking him, still snuggled up against him naked._

 _"What? The door?" Rodney asked, not quite with him yet. John had wakened him rather suddenly, after all._

 _"Did you lock the door?"_

 _"I don't know. Why?"_

 _Then Rodney understood, hearing the signal that served as the equivalent of a doorbell here on Atlantis._

 _"It's okay. Nobody would--" Rodney began, but to his horror the door slid open and he heard Carson's voice._

 _"Rodney, Elizabeth just told me you're ill. Why didn't you--" Carson said, then he stopped dead still a few steps into the room. "Oh, my--" he said, staring at the two men as Rodney and John both instinctively sat up. The sheet fell to their waists to expose both bare chests, and to make it more than obvious that they were both naked beneath it. Rodney snatched it back up to clutch it to his neck. "Oh, my--" Carson said again as the door slid shut behind him, his eyes moving from one to the other of them._

 _"Doc--" John said--what the hell else could he say? He looked over at Rodney._

 _"Uh--I'm sorry for barging in like this," Carson said. "Elizabeth said you were ill, Rodney. When you didn't answer the door, I thought perhaps--"_

 _"I'm fine!" Rodney said, horrified at having been caught like this--naked, in bed with John Sheppard!_

 _"Aye, I can see you're quite well," Carson said, his mouth working oddly for a moment before he bit both lips between his teeth as if to keep them still._

 _Rodney felt John shift at his side, and it suddenly slammed into Rodney's consciousness what this could mean to John if Carson told anyone._

 _"Carson, you can't say anything to anybody," Rodney said. "John is Air Force, and the American military--"_

 _"Can be a bunch of homophobic idiots--I know," Carson said. "Rodney, you should know me well enough by now to know I wouldn't go around informing anyone of who anyone else is sleeping with."_

 _Rodney glanced over at John, then back at Carson standing there before the closed door._

 _"I'm happy for you," Carson continued. "For both of you." Then he seemed to think of something. "I do hope you're using plenty of lube."_

 _Rodney's mouth fell open. He managed to close it and swallow down his shock even as John choked and began to cough. "Lube?" He reached to pound on John's back with one hand while clutching the sheet up to his neck with the other._

 _"Aye, of course. I'm your doctor, after all. I don't want to be stitching up any rectal tears."_

 _John was still coughing, but managed to get out, "Rectal tears?" as he looked over at Rodney._

 _Rodney was still pounding him on the back. "Oh, don't you start up again. I told you I'm okay," Rodney warned him._

 _"Okay--okay--and quit hitting me, already," John fussed, and Rodney complied. John turned his eyes back to Carson. "Rectal tears?" he asked. Shit! Rodney thought. John would never let this go now. Rodney would never get laid again if John was paranoid about tearing him--well--there- -or Rodney tearing him._

 _"Just use proper lube, and plenty of it," Carson said, sounding every bit the doctor now._

 _Rodney could not believe they were having this conversation, with Carson, here, now, with him and John naked, in bed, covered by nothing but a sheet._

 _Carson moved to place his medical bag on a table near the door. He opened it, then fished inside, turning after no more than a second to toss something toward them. Rodney released the sheet to catch it, then grabbed up the sheet again to yank it back up to his neck. He looked at what he held in his other hand, what Carson had tossed to them, and wanted to sink right through the mattress and floor both when he realized it was a tube of lube._

 _"I'll leave you two alone--have fun, and use that lube," Carson said, turning back toward the door._

 _"Goodbye, Carson!" Rodney said, loudly._

 _John--damn him--was laughing now, although what he found humorous in this was beyond Rodney._

 _Thank goodness Carson was at the door and about to leave--but he turned back a moment just as he reached out toward the door panel._

 _"Oh, by the way, your stomach virus is of the three-day variety, Rodney. I do believe you need to stay in bed for the next several days." Then he looked at John with a mischievous grin on his face. "I believe you can keep Rodney abed the next couple of days, don't you, Colonel?"_

 _John started to laugh again but didn't say anything--or, if he did, Rodney was too busy retreating beneath the sheet entirely, head and all, with another groan of, "Just kill me now," to hear him._

 _John insisted they tell Teyla and Ronon about their relationship before the next away mission--a conversation that turned into the most embarrassing one of Rodney's life when Ronon refused to believe they had not been having sex since long before he had known them, Ronon swearing the only reason John had put up with Rodney had to be because Rodney was good in bed._

 _It was months before Ronon admitted he had only been teasing him._

 _Ronon, Teyla, Carson, and Radek had proven themselves the best friends Rodney and John either one had ever known--not that Rodney had had that many friends in his life to compare them with. The four had kept their secret, had even formed something of family around them, a family that had survived and even grown here in this beautiful city at the beginning of time at the far side of the universe from the world where John and Rodney's relationship had begun. Now Carson was going to be a dad with Evan. Teyla and Ronon would be having children of their own, as Rodney and John hoped to as well. Maybe Radek would with Daniel, because if anyone deserved happiness..._

The chiming of the door to their quarters shook Rodney out of a half-dozing state. He rolled away from where he had been half laying atop John. He sat up, trying to get his bearings while John ‘thought' the lights on and reached for his watch on the bedside table.

"It's the middle of the night," John said, turning to meet Rodney's eyes--something had to be wrong. The military had orders to wake the two of them if security issues arose in the night, as John was the highest ranking military officer on the planet who was not yet a parent.

John was getting out of bed already, grabbing up his pants from the floor to pull them on as he headed to the first room of their quarters. Rodney got up, catching one foot in the sheet hanging off the side of the bed, almost falling, but managing to brace a hand on the mattress to stay upright and moving. He pulled on his robe and knotted it around his waist, then followed John into the other room just as John signaled the door open--Sergeant Bates was there, his hands on the P-90 hooked to his vest.

Bates didn't even let John get a word out before he was talking.

"Someone's taken a transporter to Sturdevant's camp," he said.

"That's impossible," Rodney said, looking over at John. "We reprogrammed the transporters to work only within individual buildings after the nutcases left, as a security measure. Anyone transporting across the city would need an override code, and only the sixteen of us--"

"Carson gave his to Simpson because Simpson needed it to get samples of that fucking plant they were working with," John said, sounding furious and exhausted at the same time. "Damnit!" John said, then turned and drove his fist into the green stone wall alongside the doorframe.

Rodney saw the pain shoot across his features--but the pain of a potentially broken hand was not what was bothering John at the moment.

"I knew I shouldn't have let Simpson out of my sight tonight! I knew it!" John said, the fury radiating off him in waves.

He turned and looked at Bates. "Kagan and Barosso are on duty tonight--pull them off whatever they're doing and get them to the infirmary to Carson's lab ASAP. Have them secure the place-- no one gets in but the sixteen members of the Council. No one."


	25. Eternity in an Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stranded over fifty-million years in the past on the Ancient's homeworld, members of the Atlantis expedition and SG1 have realized they are the Altera. As the threat of the future Ori looms over the planet, Daniel Jackson and Radek Zelenka finally realize their love.

_~Earlier that night~_

Daniel lay in the darkness of his and Radek’s quarters, staring at the ceiling. The room was utterly quiet except for the occasional call of a nightbird outside, the sound floating in through the open balcony doorway. There was no sound from Radek sleeping in his own bed across the way, for Radek slept more quietly than anyone Daniel had ever known in his life--except perhaps for Daniel himself. There had been so many nights when Jack had wakened him when he’d been nearly asleep: “Daniel, are you awake?” he would whisper loudly, curled around Daniel in their bed back on Earth.

Jack was never far from his thoughts, had never been far from his thoughts in all the years Daniel had known him, and being here millions of years in the past at the far side of the universe had done nothing to change that. It had been more than two years now, Earth time, since the last time Daniel had seen him--if all time existed at once, and if the perception of time was passing for Jack in the future at the same rate it passed for Daniel here, then 750 days had come and gone for Jack since the last time they had been together. Daniel knew that. He kept track of those days, numbering each when he wrote in his journal, checking them on his watch as it ticked by each Earth day, a watch he had not reset since he left the SGC, wondering each day if this would be the day in the future that Jack accepted that he was dead.

Knowing Jack never would.

Daniel had died too many times. Come back too many times. Ascended and then retaken human form, only to ascend and return again. The last time Daniel had died, Jack refused to allow a memorial service. He said he never would again.

But this time Daniel knew he could never return.

Daniel closed his eyes, wishing sleep would come, knowing that it wouldn’t--he was too acutely aware of that watch laying on his bedside table silently marking time as Jack would know it, and of Radek in his own bed across the way. He and Radek had hardly spoken a word in the last half hour before they had turned out the lights--not that either of them was angry. Far from it. Anger would be easier to deal with than what they were dealing with.

There was something growing between them, something that had been growing for a long time now--Daniel cared about Radek. He did. More than he really liked to think about. Every other time he had felt this way, he had lost, and he didn’t think he could stand to lose again.

Sha’re…

Jack…

Sometimes it hurt too bad to think about them. Sometimes he felt as if he had been ripped in half with the loss of each, that he could never be complete…

And then he would look at Radek…

Radek understood, as no one else could. But it was more than that. Radek filled up all the empty places without once trying to deny or prevent or short-change Daniel’s feelings about Jack or Sha’re either one. He was the most brilliant person Daniel had ever known, in spite of what he knew would be Rodney’s or Sam’s or Penn Kavanaugh’s contradictory opinions in the matter. Radek thought beyond what was in front of him, beyond hard science and theoretical physics and seeming cold reality to a universe of possibility and maybes and what-ifs that Daniel himself couldn’t live without--to things to be known simply because they could be known, to curiosity about everyone and everything, to interest in all that could be.

The two of them had spent pretty much that entire day with John and Rodney, and most of it with Carson and Evan as well, working on the power situation in Carson’s lab, a power situation that had turned out to be due to Carson and Evan’s baby and her ATA gene. It had been well into the afternoon when Radek and Rodney had been bickering over something to do with the redundant power supplies for the artificial womb that Daniel had let himself really think about what was happening between him and Radek--or not happening. Sha’re had been dead for more than a year before his relationship with Jack had become sexual. He had been apart from Jack now for almost twice that length of time--but Jack was not dead, just held away from him by millions of years and the width of a universe. Daniel had been faithful to Sha’re for as long as she had lived, had done everything he could to bring her back to him--but he could not get back to Jack. He knew that. He was just as alone as Radek was these years after Milos’s death.

In the more than a year-and-a-half Alteran time he and Radek had been on this planet, nothing even remotely sexual had taken place between them--but Daniel thought about it; lately he thought about it all the time. He was captivated by the thought of Radek’s body beneath his clothes, his hands when he worked, and his lips which made Daniel think about--

Love and sex were irrevocably intertwined in Daniel’s mind. He had been in foster homes growing up where people had thought they could use his body, had gotten beaten up or run away too many times to keep it from happening--sex for sex’s sake didn’t interest him. He had been a virgin when he had met Sha’re, and had slept alone from the day he had lost her until he had become involved with Jack. His relationship with Jack had become sexual only because Daniel had realized how it was they really felt about each other and had gone out of his way to make it happen--he could be single-minded and “stubborn as fucking hell,” as Jack put it, when he wanted something, and he had wanted Jack. He had been in love and had wanted to be as close to the person he loved as humanly possible. He was still in love with Jack--would always be in love with Jack--but now he was in love with Radek as well. He wanted to be with Radek, and thought Radek wanted to be with him--but he had made a promise…

Carson had been called into the infirmary that afternoon to deal with someone’s sprained wrist an hour or so after Dr. Simpson had left for the day without saying a word to anyone. Evan had followed Carson out in order to go to the messhall to bring back his and Carson’s supper, for the two of them usually ate in the lab, and rarely strayed from it and the infirmary since the baby had been conceived. An argument had begun to heat up between Radek and Rodney over the stability of the womb’s redundant power supplies. Both of their voices were rising, causing John to look over to meet Daniel’s eyes from where he had been sitting nearby. “If we don’t referee, this could go on all night,” John had said, rising to his feet.

Daniel rose as well, thinking refereeing was probably a good idea at this point. Radek had just called Rodney _‘ty debile zasrany’_ \--which pretty much translated to ‘you fucking idiot’ in Czech, which wasn’t a good sign that the argument was anywhere close to calming down.

“Language,” Rodney said, distractedly, “‘little ears,’ and whatnot.” He motioned vaguely with one hand in the direction of the artificial womb. He fussed with the notebook computer in his hands, causing the Alteran computer terminal nearby to make a blipping sound, its screen washing out to solid black before varying colors and Ancient text began to scroll across its surface again. Rodney may not have known the exact meaning of what Radek had said, but it was obvious he had gotten the gist. He really had no comeback when Radek resorted to Czech--which was why Radek resorted to it so often when irritated with him.

Rodney moved around to the other side of the freestanding womb, muttering at something he was reading on his notebook computer. John followed him. Radek sighed and shook his head as he turned to meet Daniel’s eyes, calling Rodney something else rude, although not quite so profane this time, under his breath.

“He is just being critical because he was not in on womb’s construction,” Radek said, shaking his head. “No one can do anything but him--in his own egotistical opinion, anyway.”

“You know Rodney,” Daniel said, thinking Radek looked tired as he watched him take his glasses from his face to rub his eyes for a moment before putting them back on.

“Yes, I know Rodney, _egotistický zasranec_ \--”

“‘Language…little ears, and whatnot,’” Daniel said, quoting Rodney just to watch Radek’s reaction.

Radek fixed him with a look that could kill, then opened his mouth to say something. Before he could say anything, the screen of the Alteran terminal beside them washed black again, then text in English began to scroll across it: _Claire, Latin/Greek, Earth, meaning: bright, shining…Dusana, Czech, Earth, meaning: a soul, a spirit...Claire Dusana…_ Then it went black before filling with colors and Ancient text again.

Daniel stared at it a moment. “Did you see that?” he asked, pointing toward the screen, never having seen any of the terminals in the city do anything like that before.

“Oh, that is very funny,” Radek said, sounding even more irritated.

“What?” Daniel asked, looking at him.

“Rodney,” he said, as if that explained anything. He motioned with his chin toward where Rodney and John stood at the far side of the artificial womb. As far as Daniel could tell, neither of them could even have seen what the screen had done from where they stood. “Rodney thinks he is being amusing,” he said, just before adding something extraordinarily rude in Czech.

“What?” Daniel asked again, thoroughly confused.

Radek signed. “One of first days here, Rodney and Sheppard were in a puddlejumper surveying the planet. They said that--” he waved a hand toward the now completely innocuous Alteran computer screen “--came up on the HUD in puddlejumper, but saying more that time, that I was Claire Dusana’s father, giving my full name--Rodney thinks he is being amusing by putting it up on screen.”

“‘Claire’?” Daniel asked, surprised, turning his eyes to the screen again, pretty certain that Rodney had not done anything to deliberately display that text to them. Rodney was too involved in looking for something wrong with the work Radek had done in constructing the artificial womb.

“‘Claire Dusana’--Dusana is my mother’s name, although how anyone would know--”

“Claire was my mother’s name,” Daniel said, staring at him.

For a moment Radek just looked at him, his mouth still hanging open.

Then he said. “Oh,” and closed his mouth.

Daniel had never felt more awkward in his life than when he and Radek had returned to their quarters that night--they suddenly couldn’t seem to stay away from each other, no matter how hard they tried. They kept running into each other, no matter what part of the two huge rooms that either one of them went into, the other of them was suddenly, inadvertently, inexplicably, there.

“Excuse me...” _“Pardon…”_ “Sorry...” _“Odpustte…”_ “I didn’t mean...”

It had become a litany between them, suddenly locked in a tight little orbit around each other and a possible future potential something that neither of them was remotely ready to discuss.

 _Claire Dusana..._

Claire...the one name that Daniel had always thought he’d like to name a daughter, if he ever had one, after his own mother who had died when he had been a child. He had never really thought he might have children, except for the all-too-short time he and Sha’re had had together on Abydos. It had not happened for them, and afterward he’d been alone, then with Jack, and now...

 _Claire, combined with Radek’s mother’s name..._

And it was suddenly as if he and Radek were connected by some invisible cord that kept drawing them back directly into each other’s path. After having almost collided with Radek three times within five minutes, Daniel made doubly certain at last that Radek was in the bathroom before starting from their shared bedroom into the entry room of their quarters.

And ran directly into Radek in the doorway, having to grab hold of him to keep him on his feet, then releasing him altogether too quickly.

“I--uh--thought you were in the bathroom,” Daniel said--yes, the bathroom behind him, opening off the bedroom. How the hell had Radek gotten back in...

“Not any more,” Radek said, looking up at him, then away too quickly.

They tried to go around each other there in the doorway, both going to the exact same side, then the other at the exact same time, coming up right chest to chest and crotch to crotch with each other twice within a few seconds, and Daniel could really have sworn this doorframe was much wider than this.

“Sorry...” _“Pardon…”_ And they were starting that all over again.

 _“Nech toho!”_ Radek said, ‘Stop it!’ in Czech, then reached to take Daniel by the shoulders and firmly hold him off to one side as he made his way past him, not releasing him until they were both in the clear. They glared at each other for a moment from opposite sides of the doorway, as if both afraid that if they turned around and started into opposite rooms they’d somehow still end up running right into each other again anyway. “Are you just trying to prove Rodney is right?” Radek demanded at last.

“What?” Daniel asked, having no idea what Radek was talking about.

“That we’re entangled on some quantum level. Whatever I do, you do tonight, even if you can’t see me. Stop it.”

“What?--no! I haven’t been doing anything,” Daniel said, remembering Rodney’s theory in detail, having heard it far too many times. Quantum entanglement--particles affecting each other at a distance, as if they were irrevocably entangled somehow, so the behavior of one could automatically predict the behavior of the other.

And they’d been running into each other all evening, as if the more they tried to stay away from each other the more they drew each other closer.

They just stared at each other for a moment. They were actually having an argument about...nothing. At least Daniel thought they were having an argument. They’d never had one before--heated debate, yes, but no real argument.

And this was the strangest one he’d ever had in his life.

“You know, if your theory is right, there is no entanglement. We’re sort of inside each other, part of the same fabric of--well--everything--” Daniel began, but let his words trail away as Radek glared at him. But he couldn’t help himself--he honestly couldn’t. He had to continue the thought once it got started. “And if the mind of the observer--”

“Oh, shut up,” Radek said, staring at him now with his hands on his hips.

 _If the mind of the observer was actually creating the outcome--cause literally following its own effect--then they were actually doing this to themselves--_ Daniel thought, although he kept his mouth shut this time. He really had been spending too much time with Radek if he was automatically thinking in terms of quantum physics. Maybe he’d spend the next few days doing research in the library and archives. Alone.

Yeah, like that would work.

Every other time he’d tried that over the past year or more, it had turned out that Radek had already planned to spend the exact same time at the library. When they’d arrived at the library each of those times, they’d found the Alteran database telling them that the books they both needed were housed in the same section of the library.

Usually in the same room.

Usually on the same damned shelf.

All too often sitting right next to each other.

Books on philology and quantum mechanics, Egyptian funerary practices and theoretical physics, even ancient papyri in hermetically sealed boxes sitting alongside bound volumes concerning Alteran hyperdrive technology--printed in Czech of all damned things--on high-quality acid-free paper suitable to be housed in the finest archive anywhere.

Fucking quantum entanglement.

And the mind of the observer could just butt the hell out because it was getting too weird, even for this place.

He stared at Radek a moment and wondered if a child of theirs wouldn’t inherit poor eyesight from one or the other of them. Neither of them could see worth a crap without their eyeglasses, after all.

Daniel shook the thought away, not believing he had allowed himself to think about that. He looked at his watch to check the time, a time that meant nothing here, at least to anyone other than to him. But if there really was no such thing as time and distance, and if time and place really existed all at once...

And he was thinking in terms of physics again.

He sighed as he brought his eyes back to Radek. “I’m going to bed,” he said, and started back into the bedroom, pausing in the doorway for an instant to make certain that Radek wasn’t about to start back through the other way to run into him again. Radek stood stock still until Daniel had passed and Daniel heard him sigh just before he heard him turn and go through into the other room. Maybe they both just needed to get some sleep. Things would go back to being normal between them again tomorrow--with normal being most often strange, which was the normal on this planet, at least for the two of them. They always kel’no’reemed together before sleep, sitting cross-legged on one or the other of their beds, but Daniel didn’t think that was a good idea tonight. He really didn’t want Radek in his head right now. There were times during meditation when they could hear one another’s thoughts if either of them tried. No, not a good idea tonight. They could both lay in bed and read a while, and then go--

But he had forgotten--

He had turned around to start back into the other room for the book he had left there earlier, which was why he had started in there in the first place, and ran directly into Radek in the doorway again.

Now he lay in bed hours later, remembering the look on Radek’s face in the moment they had collided one more time. Neither of them was doing anything on a conscious level to cause all this--they both knew that--but they also knew that from virtually the moment they had arrived on this planet their lives had been somehow intertwined. First it had been these quarters they now lived in, containing personal objects from both their lives, the only personal objects that had been found among the city’s anachronisms. Then it had been the Alteran database translating Radek’s research into languages that Daniel alone on this planet could translate for him. Then the massive library and archive building that covered miles at the heart of the city, stretching into the sky as the city’s tallest central tower and reaching far beneath the earth in uncounted stories beneath the ground--and in all that space, in some shelving system that made sense to no one other than the Alteran computer system, for no reason known to mankind, the material Daniel and Radek needed was always housed together.

It had happened again the most recent time they had gone to the library, two days before, when the books they had needed were shelved with a single book in between them--that book had been one bound in aged brown leather, with an infinity symbol, or perhaps an eight, stamped deeply in the front cover. It looked to be the same book that had appeared on John and Rodney’s wedding day, down to the Ancient text recorded on the thick cream-colored paper of the flyleaf: _Per aeternitatem iuncti. Amore iuncti._ ‘Together for eternity. Joined in love.’ But it wasn’t the same book.

Or at least it wasn’t yet.

All the pages had been blank--they had been until John Sheppard had decided to record his marriage to Rodney on the first page. Daniel had witnessed the beginning of the creation of the same book he and the other members of the council had seen and handled more than a year and a half before Alteran time, a book Elizabeth had locked away in a drawer that they found would no longer open. It had been cause following its own effect, an effect the city had already shown them.

And now the city said Radek would have a daughter…

 _Claire Dusana…_

A name that meant ‘bright, shining spirit.’ It was the perfect name for an Alteran little girl, as was the one Carson and Evan had chosen for their daughter. The Persian meaning for Margaret lent little Katie’s name the meaning of ‘pure child of light.’ Names had always been an interest of Daniel’s. His own meant ‘God is my judge,’ where Radek’s meant ‘glad,’ which certainly fit where…

“Stop thinking so much. You are keeping me awake,” came Radek’s voice now from the darkness at the other side of the room where he lay in his own bed.

“Sorry,” Daniel said, it not seeming at all odd that his spinning thoughts could be keeping Radek from sleep until the apology was already out of his mouth. “You haven’t slept at all?”

“No--and neither have you.”

“No,” Daniel sighed and agreed. He pushed his covering sheet back and sat up on the side of his bed. He stared across toward Radek in the darkness. “Hey, I--” but he didn’t go further. He didn’t need to.

“Me, too,” Radek said. It was the same thing Daniel and Jack would have done, apologizing without the other really needing to hear the words--besides they both knew neither of them had done anything deliberately tonight to be irritating, at least not on any conscious level.

Daniel got to his feet, taking up his eyeglasses from his bedside table without even thinking about it. He did not put them on in the dark, walking the few steps to the open balcony doors with them in his hand instead to stand staring out at the two moons in the night sky.

He heard Radek shift in his bed. “At least we cannot run into each other like this,” Radek said. “You there. Me here.”

“No, we can’t.”

Which suddenly seemed so very wrong.

~~~

Radek reached for his glasses on the bedside table and put them on, shifting his head on his pillow until he was comfortable again and could lay and watch Daniel--even the moonlight loved Daniel Jackson, he told himself, realizing how completely gone he was over the man to even be thinking something like that.

But it was the truth.

The moonlight seemed to exist in that moment only to accentuate Daniel’s looks, touching his features, moving down the long lines of his body. He reminded Radek of one of the ancient gods of Earth, the kind artists recorded for eternity on canvas or sculpted into stone--but gods should be naked, not dressed in sleeveless white teeshirts that served only to show off muscular tanned arms, and dark blue sleep pants that clung to every single--

And, oh, but Radek had it bad.

He had thought he would never be interested in sex again after what Worley had tried to do to him--he had been beaten, had had his left arm almost torn from its socket, had almost been raped. He could so clearly still remember the feeling of that cock against his ass, and of his guts twisting in fear, the knowledge that he could not stop it, that he was about to be ripped open--it had been years since Milos had last taken him, and there had been no one since then. Even when he and Milos had been together, Milos had so loved to bottom that Radek had almost always topped. The idea of how close he had come to being raped, of having that sick, homophobic _zkurvysyne_ inside of him, a man so like the men who had murdered Milos…

Daniel had been his lifeline after what Worley had done. He had looked after Radek as he had healed both in body and soul. They had become friends, and slowly Radek had fallen in love--he still loved Milos, would always love Milos, but he loved Daniel as well. He knew Daniel loved him, just as he would always love his Jack--Radek had been surprised that he felt no jealousy toward Jack O’Neill, but he had finally realized why: Jack had done more to make Daniel the man he was today than anyone else in Daniel’s life. He had been his lover, his best friend, as much a part of him as anyone in the universe had ever been until the day Daniel and Radek had met--and if Radek could control that universe for one moment it would be to bring Jack here across time and space for Daniel, to hope Jack would share Daniel with him, and that Daniel might even share Jack.

If only Radek had the power to control a universe.

He pushed his covering sheet back and got up to cross the short distance to where Daniel stood before the open balcony doorway. Daniel turned to look at him, his eyes moving over Radek’s face in the moonlight. Daniel still wasn’t wearing his glasses, so Radek reached to take them from his hand without even thinking about it, then opened them to clean the lenses on his own teeshirt before placing them on Daniel’s face.

It did not occur to him how intimate a gesture that was until it was accomplished, and he started to let his hands drop away--but Daniel caught his left wrist and held it, staring into his eyes, and Radek felt the entire universe go away.

~~~

Suddenly all Daniel could think about was how long it had been since Milos had been in Radek’s life, how long it had been since anyone had touched him--not as Worley had tried to do, but in love, to give him pleasure. Milos would never have wanted Radek to be alone, any more than Daniel would want Jack to remain alone for the rest of his life in the future, or Jack would want…

But there were no words, just a pure and complete knowledge that some things were meant to happen, some people, that you never stopped loving, but that you could fall in love again--then Radek was suddenly kissing him, hungry and desperate, his fingers bunching in the fabric of Daniel’s teeshirt at his sides, but that wasn’t enough. They were dragging at each other’s shirts, trying to pull them up over heads while maintaining the kiss until they had no choice but to break apart laughing, a tangle of teeshirts and half-unseated glasses. Daniel thought the lights on, blinking in the sudden brightness as he yanked his own shirt up and off to throw it aside, watching as Radek did the same--nice hairy chest, he thought, his eyes taking Radek in, his fingers following an instant later. Jack had a hairy chest, and Daniel liked hairy. Radek was touching him as well, fingers stroking over a nipple, teeth biting gently the pulse-point of Daniel’s throat. They were standing in the open balcony doorway of a lighted room, to be seen by anyone in a neighboring tower--and the moment Daniel thought it the stained-glass doors swung shut on their own, and that did not seem strange at all.

He was backing Radek toward his bed, being pulled along by Radek just the same, locked in another kiss that Daniel did not want to end. He wanted everything--to be in Radek, to have Radek in him, to take and be taken, to sleep naked and sated and…

He abruptly ended the kiss, realizing something. Radek maneuvered a hand down the back of Daniel’s sleep pants, his palm hot now on Daniel’s asscheek, pulling him closer until Daniel could feel a very insistent erection against him. Radek’s eyes were locked on Daniel’s mouth, “ _Co se děje_?” he asked, breathing heavily--‘What is wrong?’ in Czech. His tongue darted out to run over his lips, as if tasting Daniel there.

“We don’t have any lubricant,” Daniel said, in Czech himself, imagining having to get dressed _now_ to run all the way to the storage room that held boxes of lube, something they were not doing without. He and Jack had done with spit and precome on occasion when there had been no lube handy, but that had been in the midst of a very active sex life. It had been far too long since Radek or Daniel either one had been taken.

“There is supply in my bedside drawer,” Radek said, in English this time. His eyes rose to meet Daniel’s with a wicked gleam in them, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, that warm hand moving on Daniel’s ass now.

“In your bedside drawer?” Daniel repeated, smiling.

“ _Absolutně_ ,” Radek said, the wicked grin widening as he removed his hand from Daniel’s rear to give him a gentle push and send him down to the bed just before he moved to sit astride him, pressing his groin and a very impressive erection to Daniel’s through their sleep pants, pressing Daniel back and intertwining their fingers on the mattress above his head as he leaned over him, bringing his lips almost to Daniel’s. “My cock is so big you are going to need it,” he finished in Czech.

Daniel laughed, never having imagined Radek would be like this in bed. “So I’m going to bottom?” he asked.

“ _Absolutně_ ,” he said again, rolling to his side, Daniel going with him until they were tangled together, their heads on the single pillow only a breath apart. “But you can top me first,” Radek said, in English this time, his eyes moving over Daniel’s face. “I love you, you know.”

“I love you, too,” Daniel said, the teasing falling away--this was too important. He brought his lips to Radek’s, and the kiss was slow and sweet this time. Radek was moving against him, delicious friction as he rubbed his cock slowly against Daniel’s through the fabric separating them, almost making love to Daniel with his entire body, one leg hooked over Daniel’s, keeping him tight against him. The kiss ended and Radek caught Daniel’s lower lip between his teeth.

“We should be naked,” Radek said a moment later, breathing heavily.

“Oh, yes--” and they immediately got in each other’s way, each trying to remove the other’s sleep pants at the very same time. Daniel put a stop to it, holding up a finger to get Radek’s attention. “Let me,” he said, laying back to hook his thumbs in the waistband of his own pants and boxers, then lifting his hips to get them down over his erection, finally managing to get them off and to toss them aside--although to where he was not certain, as Radek was already focused on his cock, strong fingers wrapped around the base, Radek muttering something in Czech about ‘beautiful’ that Daniel did not quite understand, his mind immersed in feeling instead.

“You are not circumcised,” Radek said at last, obviously surprised, his eyes never once leaving Daniel’s cock. His fingers moved slowly up and down, expertly sliding Daniel’s foreskin back and forth over the head.

“My mother went into labor early on a dig in Egypt. I was born there,” Daniel explained. Most American men his age had been circumcised at birth as a matter of course.

“You are beautiful,” Radek whispered in Czech, then slid down in bed to apparently show Daniel how much he meant that, pressing a kiss to Daniel’s balls, and then another, his breath hot on Daniel’s skin, keeping his fingers wrapped around Daniel’s cock as Daniel gasped and arched off the bed from that contact alone--it had been far too long. Radek’s tongue snaked up the underside of his cock, his fingers sliding the foreskin back as Radek’s mouth closed on the head and he began to suck, hot and wet, tongue moving just beneath the head, the suction just right, and had Daniel really forgotten how good this was? He had to force himself to not arch off the bed and thrust himself down Radek’s throat, then Radek was taking him in anyway into all that heat and sensation, giving only a moment’s pause from not having done this for years until his nose was buried in Daniel’s pubic hair and Daniel was having to remind himself not to come.

Radek drew back at last until only the head was between his lips, leaving Daniel gasping and Radek grinning around his cock, knowing good and well what he had done, and then doing it again before Daniel could regain control of his breathing. Then he began to suck, long strokes that took Daniel all the way in, his tongue working the underside of Daniel’s cock, his cheeks hollowing each time he drew back. When he stopped abruptly Daniel let out a disappointed sound before he could stop himself, but Radek only grinned at him, stretching up to give Daniel a kiss, his tongue expertly exploring Daniel’s mouth before he stopped to bite his lower lip again and then lean over to the bedside table, his weight resting wonderfully on Daniel in a way Daniel had not realized he had missed so much as Radek retrieved the lube he had so thoughtfully gotten earlier. He showed Daniel the bottle a moment later, then kissed him again, before moving back down in bed.

When Daniel felt the first slick finger stroking over his entrance a moment later he sighed with pleasure at the sensation and made himself relax, knowing it had been so long since he had been taken this would almost be like being a virgin again--a word he had no problems with. He had been a virgin with Sha’re. He and Jack had both been a virgin at this their first time together. And this time--he realized he wasn’t wrong as the first finger slid inside, Radek muttering softly, “So tight--” in Czech, an almost wondrous tone in his voice. The second finger and then the third was that same amazing almost-too-much sensation he’d had the first night with Jack, this time completely new because it was Radek but also so sweetly familiar. Radek knew exactly what he was doing, gently stretching him, waiting until the exact right moment to rub a finger over his prostate for the first time, taking Daniel all the way into his throat again as he did so until Daniel was caught between sensations that he never wanted to end.

But he wanted something else more.

Radek drew back at last, withdrawing his fingers from Daniel’s body, taking Daniel’s cock from his mouth, kissing the exposed tip, then coming up in bed to capture Daniel’s mouth, his own tasting of precome. Daniel managed to roll them over on the narrow bed until he was on top, needing Radek naked now, needing to be inside of him--but he was not going to rush this. They had waited too long to get here.

He trailed his lips over Radek’s cheek and down to his neck, biting gently there, then working his way lower, trailing kisses over Radek’s chest, tonguing a nipple before beginning to suck it, leaving it red and wet as he moved to the other, then capturing it as well to make Radek moan. He took his time, kissing his way slowly to Radek’s waist, sliding his tongue into Radek’s navel, which seemed to both surprise and delight Radek, making Daniel wonder if no one had ever done something so simple and intimate to Radek before, causing Daniel to do it again just for the sheer enjoyment of experiencing Radek’s reaction.

Radek had hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his sleep pants, obviously intending to pull them down so Daniel could get to his cock, but Daniel had other plans, freeing Radek’s thumbs from where he had hooked them to intertwine their fingers on the mattress instead at Radek’s sides. He nuzzled Radek’s cock in the confining fabric of the navy sleep pants, causing Radek’s hips to rise restlessly off the mattress, then traced the length of that very impressive erection with his lips through the soft cotton material and boxers concealing it.

“I think I am new discovery for Dr. Jackson,” Radek said quietly after a moment, “treasure to be uncovered.” He smiled when Daniel met his eyes, then gasped softly as Daniel pressed a kiss to the head of his cock through the fabric separating them. When Daniel released his hands Radek remained still and allowed him to do what he wanted, Daniel hooking his fingers in Radek’s waistband at last, starting to ease the sleep pants and boxers down, Daniel tracing his lips over the trail of hair that he found descending from his navel, burying his nose in the thatch just before the demanding rise of Radek’s cock. He had intended to trace the length with his lips as it was revealed but was too eager to see Radek completely to wait any longer, drawing the sleep pants and boxers down until the thick cock sprang free, uncircumcised and heavily veined and leaking already.

“Perfect,” Daniel said, somehow managing to get the sleep pants and boxers off Radek’s legs and drop them beside the bed without once taking his eyes from that beautiful cock. He wrapped his fingers around it, glorying in the heat and weight of it in his hand, sliding his fingers up to draw the foreskin completely back just before he closed his mouth over the tip.

“ _O' ano_ ,” Radek breathed, the fingers of his left hand tangling in Daniel’s hair--‘Oh, yes,’ in Czech--followed by, “ _Miluji tě, Daniel,_ ” so softly--‘I love you, Daniel’--as Daniel took him in, glorying in the heat and feel of him on his tongue, the thick vein along the bottom, the taste of Radek’s need. Daniel drew him in slowly, his fingers stroking the outside of Radek’s thighs, drawing back on that beautiful cock, then going down on him again, hearing Radek’s gasped out, “ _O' Bůh_ ”--‘Oh, God’--as Daniel accepted him into his throat for the first time. This was so perfect, Radek’s hips moving restlessly, his voice muttering in Czech, then whispering Daniel’s name over and over again, Radek completely lost in what Daniel was doing to him, how Daniel was making him feel, whispering softly, “ _O' ano_ ”--‘Oh, yes’--when Daniel stroked a slicked finger over his entrance at last. It had taken so long to get here, so long to become this for each other--then Daniel was sliding a finger into that sweet, tight passage, finding Radek’s prostate for the first time, making him cry out his name.

Daniel prepared him gently, taking his time to do it right, then began to slowly kiss his way up Radek’s body until he captured his mouth again, his tongue exploring as he had wanted to do for so long--then he was looking into the blue eyes, braced on one hand for a moment as he pressed the head of his already slicked cock to that tight opening, and Radek was whispering, “ _Miluji tě_ ”--‘I love you’--again, then gasping with a moment’s discomfort as Daniel breached him at last.

Daniel stopped with only the head of his cock buried in that tight heat, feeling the muscles gripping him as he looked into Radek’s eyes--but Radek had other ideas.

“Don’t stop,” Radek said in English, his fingers digging into Daniel’s ass. Daniel could feel the muscles tightening on him. “Please, please don’t stop--”

And Daniel was sinking into that gripping heat, drawing back and pushing ahead again, then one more time until he was buried balls deep in that tight pleasure.

“ _O' Bůh ano,_ ” Radek moaned--‘Oh, God, yes’--his fingers digging even more firmly into Daniel’s ass.

“Radek--” Daniel whispered, unable to do anything for a moment but feel their joining.

“Take me--oh, God--please--” in Czech--and Daniel was taking him, moving slowly in that sweet heat, hearing Radek moan with pleasure as Daniel’s cock brushed over his prostate. This was so good, so good--and Radek was moving with him, meeting every slow thrust, intensifying every sensation--and this was heaven, deep in Radek’s body, Radek’s tongue in his mouth, the fingers of his left hand in Daniel’s hair, his right on Daniel’s ass encouraging each deep thrust, Radek breaking the kiss only to gasp Daniel’s name then to begin to mutter in Czech about how good it felt, how perfect this was. Daniel started to shift his weight so he could reach between them to stroke Radek, but Radek stopped him, as if knowing what he was about to do. “No--no--would be too much--” and Daniel understood.

Radek would come if Daniel touched him.

He was jolting Radek beneath him now. Radek was moaning his name--and Daniel was so close. So--

“Come in me--please--come in me--” Radek begged in Czech, his nails digging into Daniel’s ass, his hips rising off the bed to meet him, and Daniel was coming, straining forward, locking against him, as deep in Radek’s body as anyone could ever be, his vision graying out as the pleasure washed through him.

“God--Radek--” he managed to gasp at last, drawing back slightly to thrust back deeply into him, then again, and again, before locking forward one more time, having to fight to keep from collapsing into Radek’s arms. “God--I--” as he felt the most amazing sense of completion fill him.

Radek was watching him as exhaustion stole over Daniel’s body, Radek smiling, touching his face.

“ _Miluji tě_ ,” Daniel finally whispered, breathing heavily--‘I love you’--moving his hips ever so slightly, buried so deeply in Radek.

“ _Miluji tě taky_ ”--‘I love you, too’--Radek whispered in return, then in English. “Stay in me as long as you need.”

“You shouldn’t have to wait any longer,” Daniel said, knowing how badly Radek needed to take him.

“The longer I wait, the more I calm down, the longer I last in you,” Radek explained.

“God, yes--” Daniel breathed, and Radek laughed, his fingers stroking Daniel’s back, just enjoying him, Daniel knew. Daniel brought his lips to Radek’s and kissed him, slowly exploring with his tongue, then rubbing his nose against Radek’s when he was finished.

After a time, Daniel gently withdrew, his eyes locked with Radek’s as he pulled out of his body for the first time, then he moved down in bed to place a kiss in the middle of Radek’s stomach then take that beautiful cock in his mouth again to pleasure him for a moment before getting the bottle of lube and slicking him himself just to keep his hands on him a moment longer.

“I think you are in love with my cock,” Radek said in English, watching him with a smile on his face.

“ _Absolutně_ ,” Daniel answered, stretching up to kiss Radek slowly, enjoying his tongue, then moving to lay down on his stomach beside him on the narrow bed, knowing Radek’s favorite position as a top because Radek had once told him.

“You remembered,” Radek said, sounding surprised, bending to kiss the middle of Daniel’s back, his breath warm on his skin, one hand going to gently stroke over Daniel’s ass cheeks as he placed a second kiss slightly lower in the small of his back.

“I remember everything you ever said to me.” Daniel smiled back over his shoulder, then reached back with his right hand to place a bit of lube from his fingers at the tight opening to his body as he met Radek’s eyes, remembering what Radek had said about that as well, that there was nothing he found sexier than a man who would ready himself that extra little bit to be taken after his lover had prepared him. Daniel’s first time inside Radek had been amazing; he just wanted to give Radek the same.

He saw the effect of what he’d done in Radek’s eyes as Radek whispered, “You are so perfect,” in Czech--then Radek moved to cover Daniel’s body with his own, to slowly begin to kiss his way from Daniel’s neck down his back, at last placing a trail of kisses on Daniel’s ass cheeks before kneeling between his parted thighs. “It will be harder to get in you this way. It might be uncomfortable to begin with.”

“It will be perfect,” Daniel said, smiling back over his shoulder again, that wonderful afterglow from his own orgasm still filling his body, now making him feel almost boneless as he lay there ready for Radek.

Radek bent and kissed each ass cheek again, then straightened to shift slightly and Daniel felt the blunt head of that wonderful cock sliding between those cheeks, slipping up and down sweetly over his entrance, and Daniel knew Radek was checking to make sure there was enough lube before he took any chance on entering him.

“Oh, yes,” Daniel said softly, loving the feel each time Radek lightly rubbed over his opening, then the nudging pressure as Radek positioned himself, the pressure increasing as Radek leaned forward to brace on one hand and pushed gently to try to get the head in, the pressure increasing even more, accompanied with a bit of discomfort as Radek leaned to kiss the back of his neck and whispered:

“Push out, Daniel--” almost against his ear, reminding Daniel of something he had forgotten to do, and Daniel pushed, almost as if he were trying to go to the bathroom, gasping as he felt the large head slide in. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly--it was uncomfortable, almost too much to take, and he tried to make himself relax around Radek, remembering his first time with Jack. It had been just like this, almost too much, almost more than he could bear, then Radek was kissing his ear, whispering quietly. “Let me in, Daniel. Make me part of you,” and Daniel was relaxing as Radek pushed gently forward. Radek was entering him and it was too much and just right and Radek was opening him up, pulling back and gently pushing forward again, pulling back and gently pushing forward, getting deeper each time until he was all the way in and his heavy balls were resting against Daniel’s.

“Oh, God--” Daniel breathed as Radek waited to let him adjust. Daniel felt so full, and there was this astounding sweet pressure on his prostate because of the position, pressure increased as Radek deliberately shifted his body, leaning up on his hands and rocking his hips slightly at the same time, causing Daniel to moan as pleasure spiked through his nerve endings--and he was hard again, his cock pressed into the mattress, even before he knew it was happening. Radek knew what he was doing, working Daniel’s body from the inside, subtle movements of his hips shifting that thick cock against his prostate until Daniel had passed coherent thought long before Radek even began to thrust--then Radek was taking him, coupling with him, driving into his body hard enough to dissolve any semblance of thought at all, and Daniel knew he was going to come, going over that edge and losing it completely, his body shooting semen onto the sheets beneath him as Radek rocked forward hard, straining into him, filling him with his heat.

Radek collapsed onto Daniel’s back, breathing heavily, the fingers of both his hands intertwining with Daniel’s on the mattress, his cock still buried in Daniel’s body. Daniel closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing, loving Radek with all his being, deliberately trying to match each breath now to Radek’s as their bodies began to relax. That sweet sleep of afterglow stole over him, every inch of his body feeling the pleasure of release under Radek’s weight. Darkness wrapped around him, but he wasn’t alone. Radek was there, closer than ever before, inside his body and his soul, touching his mind more intimately than in kel’no’reem. Sharing all he was.

Daniel understood what was happening and wondered how this could be--Sam had told him of her experience with Orlin, and John reluctantly talked about an Ascended woman named Chaya when he had been asked. It had happened between Jack and Daniel as well over long nights Jack had known when Daniel had been ascended, nights when Daniel had come to share his soul with Jack.

Jack had told him about it after Daniel had returned to human form, but Daniel had not remembered, not until now--and as he thought of Jack he could see him, sitting on a low stone bench back on Earth. For a moment Daniel could feel the sun on Jack’s face, the warmth of a July day, the softness of a gray cotton shirt Daniel had once given him as a birthday present…

There was no space and time. No past, present, or future. Everything was at once. And nothing was at all. Layers upon layers of reality. So many planes of existence. The universe infinite. And they were part of it all.

Daniel was aware of a sound trying to break into their consciousness, an insistent chiming from the entry door to their quarters, and could hear Radek’s thought, _‘Only Rodney McKay--’_

The minute he thought of Rodney they could see him in the hallway, Rodney waving his hand repeatedly over the signal chime for their door, John pacing back and forth behind him.

Something was very wrong.

Daniel and Radek came awake in the same instant, Radek releasing Daniel’s hands from where he had intertwined their fingers, pressing his palms instead against the mattress to lift his weight from Daniel’s back.

“Are you okay?” Radek asked in English.

“Yes, are you?” Daniel said, trying to look back over a shoulder to see him even as the door continued to chime.

“Yes--be still,” Radek told him, and then gently withdrew his cock from Daniel’s body. He got off the bed. Daniel turned over and tried to sit up, wincing slightly as he realized he was going to be sore. When he saw how Radek was moving, he realized he was feeling the effect of being taken as well. Radek offered him a hand and he took it, getting to his feet. They dragged on sleep pants and teeshirts quickly, then headed to the door, Daniel instinctively putting a hand on Radek’s back. Rodney was still signaling the chime impatiently as the door slid open.

“What the hell took you so long?” Rodney demanded, standing there in a bathrobe over uniform pants, gunbelt fastened around his waist, his gun shoved down into the unsecured thigh holster. His brown hair was standing on end. John was shirtless, his gun held awkwardly in his left hand. Neither of them had taken the time for shoes or socks. Ronon and Teyla were coming down the hallway toward them now, Ronon in pants only, Teyla in a silky-looking thing that came to her feet. Both were armed as well.

“What’s going on?” Daniel and Radek asked in the same breath, looking from one to the other of them.

Rodney turned to look at John.

“We may have a problem,” John Sheppard said, sighing deeply.


	26. The Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One man's wrong decision puts everyone on Altera in danger--most especially Carson Beckett and Major Lorne's unborn daughter. (Note: Not a male pregnancy story.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Chapter Warning: Dark, disturbing images, violence)

An awful stench filled the air the moment Lee Simpson left the building he had transported to at the edge of the city that night. He gagged and coughed, dropping his bags onto the ground, then dragged a handkerchief out of a back pocket to hold it over his face as he started into the street, his eyes searching the area in the darkness for what had to be an outdoor barbeque or some grill that had to have gotten away from--

He stumbled and fell over the bodies before he saw them, rolling onto his side to get a look at burned flesh and scorched bone, and a closeup smell of--

He screamed and dragged himself to his knees and then his feet and began to vomit even as he tried to stumble away--he couldn’t stop, the retching continuing long after there was nothing left to come up. He was kneeling on the ground now at the edge of the street, taking in lungfuls of the stinking air, the smell of roasting--

And he started to retch again, becoming only vaguely conscious that someone had joined him by the feel of a hand on his shoulder, quiet words, a voice that he recognized and that he suddenly clung to--Petrie. Sergeant Petrie, who had been on the same team as Lee on Atlantis. They had been offworld together so many times, gone on so many missions together.

Swallowing repeatedly, taking in tiny breaths of air to try to keep the stench away from him, Lee was able to get the retching under control. He reached up and placed his hand over the fingers gripping his shoulder, more grateful in that moment for the human companionship than anything else, someone who could explain what the hell had happened to those people, how they had died, why no one had even moved--

He looked up, expecting to see the broad face and carrot-colored buzzcut he remembered so well, maybe Elberg, McGahn, or Aames with him, for the four had been inseparable when they’d lived in the heart of the city--but the man holding his shoulder was alone, and for a moment Lee was almost certain he could not be Edwin Petrie. The face was thin, almost to the point of emaciation, with hollowed cheeks cut through with scars that were deepened even more by shadow. His hair was long, pulled back into a ponytail. He was wearing what had obviously been an Atlantis military uniform, but it hung off of him now in folds as if it could never have been his own.

“Come with me,” the man said, rising to his feet from where he had been kneeling alongside Lee--and it was Petrie’s voice, Petrie’s Maine accent that Lee would have recognized anywhere.

“Petrie, what--?”

“Petrus,” the man said, staring at Lee.

“What?” Lee asked, certain he had misunderstood.

“Just as Saul took a new name when darkness was taken from his eyes--”

“I don’t--” Lee said, trying to keep from retching anew as he drew in a breath.

“Come with me,” Petrie repeated, turning away.

 

Lee noted that he walked past the burned bodies without giving them a look.

~~~

From the day the refugee society on this planet had fractured apart more than a year before, cloaked jumpers had been used to monitor the activities of the religious separatists where they had settled at the edge of the city. Caldwell, Weir, and the others on the governing council were convinced the separatists would be the genesis of the Ori, though not everyone shared that opinion.

The reports produced by the jumper crews were the subject of study and curiosity among the small Alteran population, as well as the topic of a great deal of gossip and--so Lee Simpson had been certain--at times wild speculation. Word had it Sturdevant was killing his own people, everyone who had the Ancient gene. Supposedly a woman had been stoned to death. It was said they farmed from daylight to dark outside the city walls, no longer allowed to eat the foods that grew naturally in the gardens of ‘Sodom and Babylon.’ Scientific research was forbidden. Personal relationships had been outlawed. Every transgression meted consequences at the hands of Sturdevant’s private police force, which consisted of Elberg, Petrie, McGahn, and Aames, along with a couple other “muscle-bound grunts,” as Lee had heard Radek Zelenka term it early one morning in the messhall.

Lee had not believed it, any of it. He had known many of the separatists for years, had worked beside them both here before the split had taken place, and on Atlantis. He had actually considered going with them when they had left for the edge of the city. They were good people--if a little extreme in their religious beliefs--and Lee had a firm faith in the basic goodness of most people. The reports of life in the separatists’ camp had to be nothing more than gossip, tales being enlarged each time in the telling--a little like the kid’s game of telephone, where the final message hardly resembled what it had been in the beginning.

Lee believed the reports now.

Petrie--no, Petrus, for he hardly resembled the man Lee had known--had taken Lee to a small, windowless room to wait out the night. Lee had been given no food or water even when he had asked, though it was now the midpoint of the following afternoon. Petrus had returned for him at last, and walked beside him now, silent, unapproachable as they made their way down streets that still smelled of roasted flesh.

And Lee was terrified.

He kept trying to remind himself why he had come here, why he was here and not back in the heart of the city with its clean air, with its gurgling babies and laughing voices. Its scientific debates and music and books and learning and pairs of lovers so enamored with one another it was as if there were no one else in the world.

Its life.

Lee had been happy there. He had enjoyed his work and the research he had been conducting with Carson Beckett--but there was a limit to what he could condone of the other things Carson had been doing. Carson had created a baby from the DNA of two men. Carson seemed unable to see the line between the acts reserved to God and those allowed to human beings--first it had been ATA gene therapy back on Atlantis, then the Wraith retrovirus that had started the series of events that had landed them here, then the wholesale genetic manipulation of the creatures on the moon, and now this. Carson saw no limit--and Lee could not live with that. He had wondered all along if he should have left with the religious separatists, so many of whom had been his friends, and had hoped in leaving the heart of the city now that it was not too late.

But, God, he had made a mistake.

This place stank of death, and from more than the burned bodies he had seen the night before. He and Petrus walked along the edge of what had been one of the city’s garden areas. The place should have been verdant and green, its bushes and trees heavy with fruit, natural rock borders marking the many beds of native vegetables, the air laced with the scent of flowers. It should have been alive and growing, filled with the song of birds--where this one was burned black, its rock borders charred, the skeletal remains of trees reaching to the sky. The streets were empty. There was no sound of voices, no crying babies, no music, no scientific debate, not even the sounds of buzzing insects or the song of birds. Perhaps the people truly were out in fields beyond the city walls, working from daylight to dark each day--one of the stories he had never believed--but somehow that thought left his mind completely as he rounded the edge of a building at Petrus’s side to find Dr. Sturdevant there, the man walking down the middle of the street toward them. Hopkins was at Sturdevant’s side, dressed in sheets just as the last time Lee had seen him more than a year before, his hair longer, even more unkempt. Elberg, McGahn, and Aames were there as well, along with a couple other marines--Sturdevant’s private police.

So that was true as well.

Sturdevant walked slowly, his eyes set on the ground before him, his head cocked to one side, as if he were listening to something only he could hear in the deathly silence. His steps were slow, but still Lee stopped, afraid of walking up on the man uninvited. Petrus stopped with him. Elberg, McGahn, Aames, and the marines as well, their eyes on Lee, their hands resting on the P-90s hooked to their vests.

Sturdevant’s steps stopped at last and his eyes closed, his head moving from side to side as if trying to locate some sound. He was completely bald now, his skin gray, his cheeks sunken, his eyes hollow. Lee stared at him for a long moment, waiting for him to speak, waiting for something to happen, waiting to be acknowledged. Even Hopkins was silent, not quoting scriptures to the heavens as Lee had seen him do so many times. He stood staring into space, picking at the sheets he was clothed in instead.

All the stories Lee had heard of this place kept running through his mind--people killed, a woman stoned--but he knew these people. He knew--

“I--”

The moment he opened his mouth he knew it was a mistake. Sturdevant’s mad eyes opened and fixed on him--and Lee could feel it, the power, the rage, pass through him in an instant. Thoughts of _Unbeliever! Sodomite!_ ripped through his mind, driving him to his knees. He opened his mouth again, this time to scream--but there was no air. Pressure pushed on every part of his body--and he could feel it, heat suddenly licking at his knees. Fire moved up his body--but there was no pain, just an eternity as Sturdevant stared into his eyes, now tearing through his mind.

The man took everything, knew everything, and Lee tried to block it, tried filling his mind with his research, with the Lord’s Prayer, with sexual fantasies he’d had about Vala mal Doran and Teyla--but Sturdevant pushed through it all… _and Lee could see his childhood…could feel his first kiss…travel through the stargate…almost die at the hands of a Wraith…find himself here…work alongside Carson Beckett…admire the culture of the humans on the moon…learn Carson had created a child from the DNA of two men_ …

And the outrage that tore through Lee’s consciousness destroyed his mind, bringing him peace, leaving nothing more for Sturdevant to take.

~~~

Elberg watched Lee Simpson die and felt nothing, nothing but the sense of impatience that had been growing in him over recent months.

He and his buddies had followed Sturdevant because they had thought there was a better chance for them here than in the heart of the city. There they would have been nothing, while queers and aliens and old fucks like Caldwell ran things. Here they could command their own army--and as McGahn had said the day they’d arrived in this quadrant, “Better a ruler in hell than a fucking peon in fag heaven.”

They’d gotten hell alright.

They’d come fuck-close to starving after Sturdevant had decided his God had told him to torch all the garden areas near the quadrant. They’d seen every single woman and a number of men in the camp killed, stoned to death or burned alive for some real or imagined sin. There were unending hours of prayer every afternoon, kneeling in the fucking street no matter the weather. There were Sturdevant’s sermons that dragged on forever every fucking day. There was being told how to eat, how to sleep, how to dress, how to walk, talk, think, even fucking breathe, which was supposed to be “as one contemplates one’s worth and significance and devotion to the path.”

Elberg had had more than fucking enough.

The only thing that kept him from putting a bullet in either his or Sturdevant’s brain was knowing there was an end in sight. Sturdevant had a plan. It was couched in ‘thees’ and ‘thous’ and ‘smiting the unbeliever with the edge of the sword,’ but Elberg knew what Sturdevant thought God had told him to do--he was going to take the heart of the city, ‘leaving nothing alive there that breathes,’ then move on to impose his brand of religion and his rule on the humans on the moon, who he said an angel had shown him in a vision of ‘beautiful young virgins’ destined for Sturdevant’s followers to ‘take to wife.’

He was just waiting for a sign to tell him it was time to begin.

And, as Elberg watched him now, he wondered if that sign had come, a sign that would also signal the beginning of Elberg’s plans, plans that included freeing Vic Worley at the first opportunity when they reached the heart of the city, and of he, Vic, and their buddies setting up a little kingdom all their own.

Hopkins was muttering something about desolation that comes in an hour, but fell silent as Sturdevant turned to look at each of them. The air was coming alive around them, energy coursing through their skin, causing Elberg’s fillings to ache.

“Babylon seeks to birth an abomination from the seed of sodomites,” Sturdevant said, his voice coming from inside Elberg’s head as well as from without, rebounding off the walls of the buildings around them, echoing again and again. “It must be crushed from life.”

He was raising both arms at his sides, his fingers hooked into claws. The energy moving through Elberg’s body was becoming painful, causing every joint to ache, stinging his skin as small touches of lightening and fire bloomed to life around him. Bolts of energy began to spike up from the ground of the burned-out garden area at a distance to Sturdevant’s back. There was a sound, high-pitched and screaming, filling the air, filling Elberg’s head, filling the world as Sturdevant’s clawed hands tightened to fists--and suddenly two puddlejumpers bloomed to life above the blackened earth, puddlejumpers that had been watching them, their cloaks ripped away by Sturdevant’s force of will alone, their engines straining. The sound grew louder, screaming through Elberg’s mind, and Sturdevant was dragging his arms down, dragging the jumpers from the air, driving them nose-first into the ground. And Elberg smiled in spite of the pain.

The time had come at last.


	27. 'If I Speak In the Tongues of Men and of Angels'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stranded millions of years in the past on the Ancients’ homeworld, members of the Atlantis expedition and SG1 have discovered they are the Altera--the forerunners of the Ancients, the original Gatebuilders. Now, with an ascended Adria living among them in the guise of a human child, and Alteran society fractured apart to produce the beginning of the Ori, Sheppard’s team and SG1 find themselves in a fight for their very survival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Chapter Warning: Violence, threatened non-con, some disturbing images, language)

_He had broken his damn hand._

 _Of all the fucking stupid…_

 _He had driven his fist into the stone wall alongside the doorway into his and Rodney’s quarters when he had been told about Simpson’s defection, and had…_

John sat in the copilot’s seat of a jumper that afternoon, a cast on his right arm from his fingertips to his elbow. He had refused the painkiller Carson had offered, one Carson and Simpson had managed to concoct over the past year from native plants, although the hand was hurting now like a fucking son-of-a-bitch--he had to keep his mind clear. This was all his fault. He had known something was wrong when Simpson had left Carson’s lab without a word to anyone as soon as he had learned about Carson and Evan’s baby. John had been concerned enough to make certain the man had returned to his quarters--as if that had accomplished anything--and now--

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Rodney asked, drawing John’s attention to where Rodney sat in the pilot’s seat of the jumper, his hands on the controls. Rodney was flying their assigned flight path in the security grid being maintained over the heart of the city now that Sturdevant had two jumpers in his hands. Rodney’s eyes touched on the cast on John’s arm.

John sighed, knowing he should be the one piloting the ship right now--he was the damned pilot of the two of them, after all--but he couldn’t do it with a fucking cast on his arm.

Which was all his fault as well.

“I can handle it, Rodney,” he said, which was the truth.

“I got the painkiller from Carson just in case you have to have it. I could--” he looked for a moment like he might take his hands off the jumper controls.

“I said I can handle it,” John bit out, much more harshly than he had intended to--his hand really was hurting like a--

He sighed again and closed his eyes for a moment, not wanting to see the look he knew he had just put on Rodney’s face--this wasn’t Rodney’s fault, as John damned well knew, and he had better keep in mind that Rodney meant more to him than anything. John wasn’t about to take this out on the man he loved.

“I’m sorry,” he said, opening his eyes again to look at his spouse. “I’m okay, Rodney. Really, I am.” Then the edge of his lips quirked with a bit of a smile. “I tell you what,” he said, “when all this is over, you can promise me one hell of a blowjob to get my mind off my hand,” he suggested, really needing that to look forward to.

Rodney smiled that crooked smile of his--which in itself made John feel better. “That I can--”

But Penn Kavanagh's voice broke into what Rodney was saying, coming over their headsets. “Guys, your mikes are open,” he said from the control room being maintained in the large circular room at the base of the library tower, not having to clarify who it was he meant.

“Oh, good God,” Rodney said, turning beet red as snickering came over their headsets from what sounded like every jumper flying the grid. “Why is it when anybody’s sex life gets outted on this planet, it’s always the two of us?” he asked, apparently not thinking about his mic still being open.

“Maybe because it’s always you two who can’t keep it in your pants?” Cam Mitchell suggested over the radio from the jumper he shared with Daniel and Radek. The comment launched the entire group into snickering one more time.

“Oh, good God,” Rodney said again, and this time he reached up to turn off his headset mic.

John couldn’t help but smile, even in the middle of all this. He was pretty sure that everyone had needed the moment of relief that bit of snickering had provided, even if it had been at his and Rodney’s expense. It had been a hell of a day, after all, and a long one, starting in the middle of the night when Bates had wakened him and Rodney to tell them someone from their small population had defected to Sturdevant’s camp. They had immediately gone to waken Ronon and Teyla, and Radek and Daniel, because that was the protocol established for security issues that arose in the night. That protocol left the six of them to make decisions in the immediate wake of the defection, including whether to wake Caldwell, Elizabeth, and the rest of the Council, which they had chosen to wait to do until this morning. Ronon and Teyla had instead gone to search Simpson’s quarters to confirm that he was their defector, while Radek and Daniel had locked down the transporter system to prevent Simpson or anyone else from transporting back from Sturdevant’s camp. John and Rodney had gone immediately to check on Carson and Evan’s baby--Simpson’s defection had come too quickly on the heels of his learning of the baby’s existence, and John could too well imagine what Sturdevant would think of a baby created from the DNA of two men.

“Gentlemen,” Caldwell said now over their headsets. He and Elizabeth were in the control room overseeing preparations for a potential defense of the heart of the city. There was a warning tone in Caldwell’s voice, causing the snickering to die away. Caldwell was not in the best of moods. John didn’t envy either him or Elizabeth being in charge today. Someone from their small population had defected to the group of people who would one day become the Ori, showing them they’d had a potential and completely unsuspected traitor living among them. Today, they’d had four pilots and two jumpers fall into enemy hands, Sturdevant having managed to somehow bring down and capture the cloaked jumpers that had been sent to monitor the situation in his camp this morning. No one knew yet what had happened to the captured pilots, but the two jumpers had since re-cloaked and a sufficient number of lifesigns had disappeared from that quadrant of the city to fill both to standing-room-only capacity.

Now, more than an hour later, the Alterans had no idea where Sturdevant was, nor a sizeable number of his people. The last thing they needed was two cloaked jumper-loads of heavily armed religious lunatics pouring out into their midst without at least some kind of warning as to where they might land. That was why Caldwell had ordered every jumper they had into the air, followed by the relocation of all the city’s children to the safest and most well-protected location on the planet--all the city’s children, that is, except for Carson and Evan’s unborn child. The artificial womb could not be moved, leaving little Katie in what John feared was a vulnerable position in Carson’s lab, while the other children were secreted away on the deepest level beneath the library at the heart of the city. Volunteers were looking after those other children even now, just as Evan and Carson stood watch over their daughter, while jumpers flew the grid looking for any sign of the captured ships. Radek had managed to get enough telemetry from the two captured jumpers in the moments they had gone down to know both had been damaged. Damaged shield generators and drive pod assemblies both had a tendency to leak EM stutter, which was what they hoped to detect. With some luck, they might get a warning of Sturdevant’s approach to the heart of the city, maybe even some idea of where he intended to land. At least the jumpers in his possession lacked weapons capability, as did all but four of the jumpers they had found on this planet--whoever had created this place had believed in making love, not war, although at the moment--

“Wait, wait, wait--” Radek’s suddenly excited voice cut into John’s thoughts, coming over his headset from where Radek and Daniel were monitoring sensor readings from the jumper Cam Mitchell was piloting. “I think--” His words trailed off.

“What?” Rodney asked irritatedly after keying back on his mic.

“I--yes--there it is again,” Radek said, interrupting himself.

“There what is?” Rodney asked, louder this time.

John looked over to catch the annoyed look on Rodney’s face as he brought up the HUD in their jumper to see if he could detect whatever Radek had found, the pain spiking in John’s hand as he shifted the cast in its sling. Until then he had been monitoring sensor readings on the laptop secured to the console before him.

“Electromagnetic stutter, just like we thought we would see,” Radek said, the excited tone still clear in his voice. “Something leaking EM stutter just made a series of perfect 90-degree turns, crossing into grid fourteen. There’s nothing in nature--”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Rodney said, interrupting Radek this time, impatiently, “nothing in nature moves like that,” Rodney said, the snarky tone in full force. “Grid fourteen--that’s near us, isn’t it?” he asked, his tone changing as he looked over at John.

“Yeah, it is,” John said, his eyes scanning the HUD to see if he could pick up--

A loud electronic screech blasted from their headsets, causing John to reach up to snatch his from his ear--but the sound was coming from the interior of the jumper as well. John’s eardrums began to ache and his head to pound. The sound abruptly died away to be replaced by what sounded like a thousand voices echoing over and over again inside the jumper:

“ _‘…Mystery, Babylon the Great, The Mother of Harlots and Abominations of…’_ ”

A jumper suddenly decloaked directly before them, shimmering to life. John opened his mouth to shout, “Pull up! Pull up!”--but Rodney was already pulling up, barely missing the other jumper, skimming past it close enough that John could swear he heard metal scrape. Then a force hit them hard beneath the nose of their jumper, driving it up, sending them tumbling backwards, a wild flip that turned into an uncontrolled spin toward the city below. The electronic screech resumed, louder than before, competing with the echoing voices now shouting words that John was yelling over to try to be heard--they were going down, a panicked look coming over Rodney’s face, Rodney fighting to regain control and get them out of the spin, his lips moving, yelling something that John could not hear.

A loud pop sent sparks flying inside the jumper. The inertial dampners cut out, allowing them to feel the full force of the spin. John flew upward out of the copilot’s seat, hitting the ceiling hard enough to drive the air from his lungs, then he was being propelled toward the jumper’s floor, trying to grab for Rodney with his one good hand--for one brief instant they connected, John grabbing Rodney’s wrist, trying to hold on with everything he had, his fingers biting into the flesh of Rodney’s arm as he saw the look of stark terror on Rodney’s face--but the centrifugal force of the spin yanked them apart again. The next time he came down, it was hard across one of the jumper seats and he felt something snap in his leg. John screamed, the pain so intense that darkness threatened to take him even as the spin drove him toward the ceiling again.

The ground was coming up too fast, the park area near the stargate caught in a sickening blur beyond the jumper’s windshield--there was an impact from somewhere in the city, another jumper gone down, a massive explosion that shook the air--and John could only think they would be the next. Rodney had somehow managed to wedge himself against the jumper console, his hands fighting the controls--but Rodney wasn’t trained for this. Even John--

But somehow Rodney was pulling them out of the spin, leveling out far too close to the ground, carrying far too much momentum. They were going down but under control now, the jumper plowing into the earth hard enough to make John’s head ache as he was driven against the base of one of the seats, the pain stabbing through his leg and hand both, the ship ripping a deep gash into the earth of the park area, one drivepod tearing loose and metal screaming around them, the jumper coming to rest at last no more than a foot from the useless stargate as equipment sparked around them. And John blacked out at last.

He could feel Rodney’s mind in the darkness even before he reached the level of conscious thought again… _Don’t be dead, John…please, please, don’t be dead…please…_

John groaned, then bit back a scream as he came around completely, because consciousness was bad. Consciousness was very bad. Consciousness was a broken leg and a broken hand in a busted up cast, a battered and beaten body from being thrown around in the spin, not to mention having survived one hell of a jumper crash…

And alive…

They were alive…

John took a breath and regretted it, adding what was probably a busted rib to his list of other injuries. “You did good, Rodney,” he groaned, opening his eyes to try to focus on the face of his husband.

“Oh--thank God--you’re alive--” and Rodney was kissing him, and that hurt, too, but it was okay.

“Are you hurt?” John managed a second later, trying to push himself up into a seated position, then deciding that was not a good idea, biting back another scream as the agony spiked through his left leg and right hand both making him forget all about the rib.

“Hurt?” Rodney asked--and he sounded shaky. Very shaky. He looked down at himself and back at John. “No, no--bruised a little, I think--are you--be still, you could have internal injuries or something.”

“No, I don’t think so. I’ve got a broken leg though, and probably at least one rib, and this cast is pretty fucked up now,” he said, examining the cast on his hand and arm, which he could see was pretty much a goner, although he wasn’t about to try to remove what was left of it himself here in the field. He just knew he was going to have several hours of surgery after this. The surgical anesthesia Carson and goddamn Simpson had managed to develop from plant extracts and paralytic spider venom actually sounded pretty good right about now.

He looked up to find Rodney’s eyes fixed on him.

“I thought--you looked dead,” Rodney said quietly after a moment, the blue eyes holding John’s. “You were laying there, not moving, and--”

“Hey, I’m okay. We both are--thanks to your piloting skills. You must have had one hell of a flight instructor,” he said, meaning himself, although he’d never thought before today that Rodney could even manage to fly a jumper in a straight line, much less pull them out of an uncontrolled spin like that.

Rodney didn’t rise to the bait. His eyes stayed locked with John’s instead. This crash was all too real for him, how close they both had come to dying. John was hurt, the puddlejumper was destroyed around them. Another jumper was down, the men in it killed on impact in an uninhabited part of the city--Curtis and Hester, John realized, wondering how the hell he could know that as he stared into Rodney’s eyes.

But it was all there…

What had happened in the sky after they had gone into the uncontrolled spin…

What was happening on the ground even now…

It was as if his connection to Rodney opened the world to him--and even more. Sturdevant’s jumpers were landing even now, one here in the park area at the far side of the stargate, the other on a stone-paved path between the base of the central library tower and the sprawl of the scientific research complex. Those jumpers were filled to capacity with heavily armed men whose minds were twisted with hate, men who believed Sturdevant was their one path to salvation, and who accepted his word that God had decreed that no one in the heart of the city should be left alive--and John could see what Sturdevant planned to do personally as well. Today he would burn people alive, conscious and screaming, if they did no more than happen into his path, a demonstration of the power he believed he had been given by God, then he would move on to the people on the moon, innocents who had no idea what could be coming for them, Sturdevant ready to burn, murder in the name of his God, and terrorize until he subjected them under his religious rule.

And John and Rodney had to stop him.

John could see it in Rodney’s blue eyes, hear it in his own voice as he ground out, “You’ll have to splint my leg--hurry,” because they both knew in some way that was beyond knowing that their own people were about to fall into Sturdevant’s path--Daniel and Radek, along with Cam Mitchell, their jumper now on the ground at the edge of the park area; Sam and Teal’c, armed with a version of the device the SGC had developed back on Earth to try to combat the Priors in the Milky Way Galaxy, Sam hoping it would have some effect on Sturdevant; Teyla and Ronon leading an armed group of marines, airmen, and scientists from the heart of the city, Alterans prepared to defend their home and their people at the cost of their own lives if necessary.

And Sturdevant knew they were coming.

Rodney managed to contrive a pair of splints for John’s leg from parts he scavenged from a destroyed seat in the jumper, securing them in place with both their belts, the pain reaching untold levels of agony for John before it was done, Rodney worrying all the while over John’s injuries--but they had to hurry. They were too aware of the passage of time around them, the seconds running out. As soon as the splints were in place, Rodney helped John to his feet, putting his right arm around John’s waist, John’s good arm over Rodney’s shoulders to help support his weight, the warmth and sheer presence and solidity of Rodney there against his left side helping John to focus and clear his mind. Still, it wasn’t until Rodney had already hit the release for the rear door that John realized he was completely unarmed, his gun lost somewhere in the crash…but he already knew guns would do them little good.

And that was even before the door lowered into a scene straight from hell.

Two men were burning to death no more than inches from where the door touched the ground, the sound of their screams, as well as the sound of gunfire, drowned out by Hopkins’s miraculously amplified voice shouting scriptures to the sky, the words echoing over and over again as if being yelled by a hundred men--it was Leonard and Zhang, John realized, rage filling him, echoing in Rodney at his side at the knowledge that Sturdevant had done this to two of their people, men who had served under John on Atlantis and here, men who had simply been the first on the scene and who had tried to reach the jumper to see if he and Rodney were alive.

Alterans now closed on the open area there before the stargate from two sides. Sturdevant stood in the midst of that open area, Hopkins to his right side, a dozen half-starved men at his back. A hail of bullets was being fired on them from every direction, falling like a harmless rain before reaching them as Sturdevant’s eyes came to Rodney and John where they stood in the open doorway of the jumper.

“Filth,” Sturdevant said. “Sodomites,” the words touching their minds, clearly understood even over Hopkins shouting scriptures and the sound of gunfire. The man looked like nothing else in that moment so much as the being in that painting, _The Scream_ , his head oversized, skeletal, white, completely bald now, his cheeks hollow, his hands--held out to his sides--elongated and white, his uniform dyed black. The mind in that body was as black as that uniform, twisted, and evil, believing it had a mission from God, to convert or kill, to punish sinners, to mete out God’s justice, to chastise the righteous, to lead all on a path to--

 _‘No,’_ John thought, then felt Sturdevant’s immediate recoil, his shock, that John had managed to touch his mind. Rage filled the man, rage they could feel, that they could see, springing up in small fires dancing wildly over the grass of the park area, flashing into brief touches of lightning darting into life in the air, rage directed suddenly elsewhere as Sturdevant turned his head quickly to the side to fix his gaze on Sam and Teal’c as Sam used the distraction to turn on the anti-prior device, the device suddenly bursting into flames as she held it, obviously burning her hands before she could let it fall. Cam had yelled for a halt to the gunfire--nothing was reaching Sturdevant and his people anyway--and in that lull Ronon broke free of the line of Altera nearest the city, dragging his sword from the scabbard on his back, rushing toward Sturdevant as Teyla shouted his name.

Sturdevant reached one hand out and Ronon stopped midstride, rising up onto the balls of his feet, Sturdevant’s hand closing into a half-fist--closing somehow on Ronon’s heart, John knew, ready to crush it as Teyla, Radek, Daniel, Cam, and Sergeant Bates reached his side, Bates opening up on Sturdevant with his P-90, screaming out his rage, only to see the bullets fall from the air at the midpoint between them.

“Let him go,” Rodney said, his words echoing in John’s mind--echoing in Sturdevant’s as well--and John felt Sturdevant recoil again from that touch. Sturdevant opened his half-closed fist and Ronon fell to the ground. Teyla stood over him as if she could somehow protect him from Sturdevant’s reach again. Daniel, Radek, Cam, and Bates between them and Sturdevant--but Sturdevant’s eyes had returned to John and Rodney, his rage now directed on them alone. John could feel it, the air coming to life around them, small fires dancing in the air, small bolts of lightning stinging his skin, Sturdevant concentrating energy, directing it at them, and fire began to lick up around their feet, trying to eat into the fabric of their uniform pants and under John’s makeshift splint, trying to touch their skin as a shout of rage and denial came up from their friends watching what was happening. Ronon struggled to his feet again, Teyla and Radek supporting him, Daniel, Cam, and the others opening fire again into another hail of bullets that could not reach Sturdevant or his men.

John and Rodney looked down at the fire rising around them, John refusing to allow it to touch them, feeling Rodney do the same. They lifted their eyes back to Sturdevant instead and returned it to its source, somehow of one mind, one shared thought--and it was suddenly licking at Sturdevant’s feet, rising around him, being slowly taken into his body as he reabsorbed the power.

The recoil this time to the touch of their joined minds was so much greater as the gunfire died away, being fueled by the sudden doubt that John felt flit through the minds of a few of the people at Sturdevant’s back, that he knew Sturdevant could feel as well. Even Hopkins had fallen silent, a look of sudden confusion on his bearded face. These men had endured months of hell, months of starvation, months of torture, convinced Sturdevant was their one path to salvation, and if someone else--

“ _‘And then shall that Wicked be revealed, whom the Lord shall consume with the spirit of his mouth…’_ ” Sturdevant said now, his eyes never leaving John and Rodney; they could both feel his mind at work, “ _‘…Even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders…That they all might be damned who believed not the truth.’_ ”

John could feel the build of power starting again, though much greater this time, amassing in Sturdevant, not to be wasted this time in parlor tricks meant to engender awe, miniscule fires and touches of lightning that did no more than sting the skin, but held and growing--and suddenly not enough, and John understood why. The man was alone, completely alone, touched by no one else, joined by no one else, loved by no one. Followers stood at his back, men who would willingly die in his name to earn their salvation--not because they loved him, nor because they loved each other, but because they valued themselves.

The realization passed through John and Rodney, then somehow to their friends--the others--those who were here, Teyla and Ronon, Radek and Daniel, Sam and Teal’c, and Cam. Phrases were passing through John’s mind as they had not since the day of Worley’s trial:

 _...the greatest of these..._

 _Love never ends..._

 _...made up of lovers and their loves..._

And he could feel Sturdevant’s hunger growing, his need for more, faced for the first time by the combined strength of something he could not understand…

Two people in love barely touching the dawn of what they could become…

 _…when fighting at each other’s side, although a mere handful, they would overcome the world…_

Sturdevant searched for something outside himself, something within himself--lacking, so lacking, so incomplete, so unendingly incomplete--and the man began to reach out, his mind filling with words from his own sermons, sending those words to his men… _If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother_...to feed from the beliefs of those people, to reach into that untapped potential, bleeding it from them, as the Ori would bleed power from their followers one day… _I am the way, the truth_ …using things they had been taught from childhood… _strait is the gate, and narrow is_ …and the power was growing, building within him, his eyes focused on John and Rodney, a look of horrible triumph touching his lips as he struck out at them at last with what he knew was the ultimate proof of his right--

Fire shot up around them, over their heads, white hot, filling the jumper, fueled by the suddenly joined potential of all those minds under Sturdevant’s control--Hopkins, the half-starved men with him--then even more as Sturdevant drew from the others who believed in him, those who had arrived in the heart of the city on the second jumper, sending many stumbling… _He that believeth on me hath_ …

John looked at Rodney in the blinding light of the fire that surrounded them, knowing they were somehow protecting each other. Rodney tightened his arm around John’s waist and they hobbled out of the inferno of the jumper together, onto the ramp created by the lowered door. A look of disbelief came to Sturdevant’s face as they cleared the edge of the fire, words flashing through Sturdevant’s mind that they both could hear… _‘Get thee behind me…’_

“Fuck you,” John said, quietly, and the fire flashed around them, controlled now by their joined minds, returned to its source--fire engulfed Sturdevant, fire he could not keep at bay, energy he could not absorb because it was generated from so many minds, the potential of so many, and he was so alone--so completely alone. He was burning, his clothes gone in an instant, his skin on fire, and his believers watched, thirteen men suddenly stumbling away, beliefs shattered in an instant, Hopkins catching one foot in a trailing part of his sheets and landing on his ass as Sturdevant fell to his knees--but Sturdevant wasn’t finished. He still--

Cam must have sensed it first, inserting a new clip into his P-90 and opening up on the man as others did the same--but John knew they could not stop what was coming. Sturdevant flung his arms outward, writhing on his knees, the fire shooting from his body into the thirteen men behind him, his own people, saving himself by burning them alive--but he was vulnerable now, John knew, his concentration gone with the burning.

Sturdevant’s body jerked as bullets impacted him from every direction, Cam emptying one clip into him, then reloading and emptying another, calling a halt to the shooting only when he was certain the man had to be dead. By then John and Rodney were sitting on the ramp where they had finally collapsed in one another’s arms, John’s strength giving way at last with the pain in his body, Rodney no longer able to support John’s weight as the adrenalin rush began to fade. John saw Ronon less-than-gently prod Sturdevant with the toe of one shoe, and heard Rodney yelling for a medic for John--then all he knew was darkness.

~~~

Elberg had landed the second jumper--cloaked and completely undetected--on a path between the central library tower and the sprawl of the scientific research complex. The men packed inside were pouring out of it before anyone in the heart of the city could even know they were there, scattering to fulfill what most of them believed was a mission from God.

Elberg left the jumper at Petrie’s side--or Petrus if that was what he fucking wanted to be called--the two of them making their way toward the lecture hall where they had spent their first night on this fuck-forsaken planet, and the infirmary just beyond. Elberg knew that Petrus was thinking only of fulfilling the mission Sturdevant had given them that afternoon in what had amounted to an anointing with the stinking remnants of burned cooking oil--they were to destroy the unborn child they would find in an artificial womb in Carson Beckett’s lab, a child Sturdevant said had been conceived from the DNA of two men. Elberg didn’t give a rat’s ass whether the child lived or died, any more than he cared if any other of the Alterans survived this day, but he was going to use the opportunity of accompanying Petrus to accomplish a mission of his own, to free Vic Worley from the detention cell where he was still undoubtedly being held for Radek Zelenka’s lying accusation of rape all those months ago.

He could hear a hell of a firefight starting up behind them as some of Sturdevant’s half-starved, and Elberg knew more than half-crazy, disciples tried to shoot their way into the control room on the main floor of the library’s central tower. It would be part of their mission to kill every man, woman, and child living in the heart of the city. There was more gunfire from the direction of the scientific research complex where McGahn and Aames had the mission to accompany one of Sturdevant’s few surviving scientists--the others having been stoned to death or burned alive long before this--to attach a remote access to the device that controlled the moon’s time dilation field. Elberg ignored everyone but Petrus as they walked through the deep shadows of late afternoon. Petrus walked empty-handed, his face cut in fresh but already-healed scars that had appeared since his anointing for this mission, his red hair pulled back in a ponytail, what had been his Atlantis uniform hanging off his skeletal frame in folds. He looked harmless, but Elberg knew he had every power Sturdevant had, as well as a mission he believed was given to him directly from God--he was a fucking madman with every advanced human ability Elberg could imagine, a fact Elberg was vividly reminded of as he watched Petrus crush a man into the side of a building with the wave of a hand.

He was amazed at how little resistance they met. But the Alterans would have turned the largest part of their force against Sturdevant where he would have landed his own jumper near the useless stargate. They had no idea what Petrus could be capable of doing. The remaining Alteran military personnel would have been drawn to the firefight outside the library and scientific research complex. The civilians were probably cowering in their quarters. Elberg and Petrus were just damned lucky--or perhaps the Alterans were the lucky ones, Elberg thought as he watched Petrus burn a woman alive with nothing but a look. Petrus could--

But Elberg’s thought stopped there as he watched Petrus stumble and go to his knees. Petrus’s face washed white beneath the Prior-like scars that now marked his cheeks and his forehead. He looked sick, drained of energy, as if someone or something had sucked the strength out of him. Elberg hoped that meant Sturdevant was dead, hoped he’d been blown straight to hell, if hell really existed. Petrus reached over and tried to take hold of Elberg’s arm, as if he would use Elberg’s strength to pull himself to his feet, but Elberg pushed him away, sending Petrus to his hands and knees instead. Elberg could hear that the sound of gunfire had died back behind them, back in the direction of the library tower and the research complex.

Petrus was crawling now, on his hands and knees, slowly making his way to the deep shadow at the side of the concert hall near where they had stopped. He was praying aloud all the while, whispered words that reminded Elberg of the hours of nothing but the prayers he had endured kneeling in the streets every fucking evening in Sturdevant’s camp. Petrus reached the outer wall of the building and prostrated himself face-first to the ground, continuing to pray, it reminding Elberg of nothing else so much as the Ori prostrations he had seen on so many converted worlds back in the Milky Way Galaxy before he had been reassigned to Atlantis.

Elberg stood over him watching for a moment, then moved the barrel of his P-90 to point it at the back of the man’s head. There was so little of his buddy Petrie in what Petrus had become. Elberg could all too well remember the morning Petrus had first appeared. Petrie had looked as he always looked the day before, but had appeared that next morning looking skeletal, his uniform in rags, his skin sunburned and blistered, peeling and raw as if he had been in the desert for days. His hair had been longer. He had been dehydrated and fucking insane, ranting on and on endlessly about a woman of fire and being tested for days, quoting something in that dry, rasping, death-rattle voice he had developed that had sounded familiar to Elberg, although he had never been able to place it, “ _‘…as he lay there, dying in the sun, the sands of the desert all around him, Petrus spoke to the rock, not with his lips, but with his mind. And the rock wept tears of fresh water, and his thirst was quenched.’_ ”

Elberg’s finger twitched on the trigger of the P-90, and then withdrew. He couldn’t do it. It could have been any of them--him, McGahn, Aames--Sturdevant had chosen one of them and had--done something, broken the man, converting one of them to his freaked-out religious beliefs. Petrus continued to pray and Elberg walked away, turning his mind to the task of freeing Vic Worley from the detention cell. He wanted to be far away from here before Petrus recovered from whatever had happened to him--if not, Petrus would kill him without a thought for abandoning the mission Sturdevant had given them, just as easily as he would kill the child Carson Beckett had created in her artificial womb.

Elberg made his way to the lecture hall and down the main staircase to the level of the detention cells, meeting no resistance along the way. There was only one guard on duty at the end of the long hall that ended with the room where Worley was being held.

Elberg shot him dead without a second thought.

He opened the door and stepped into the room housing the detention cell, unable to keep the smile from his face as Vic broke off in the middle of a set of calisthenics to stare at him. Worley looked good. Unlike Elberg, McGahn, and Aames--who had actually managed to eat better than everyone else in Sturdevant’s camp--Vic was well fed. He hadn’t lost any of his muscle mass after being locked up all this time. His hair was still in a buzz cut, his green BDU’s clean, his eyes in the sweat-slicked face flicking over Elberg, then to the open door behind him.

“Hey, man, did you think we forgot you?” Elberg asked. He stared at the electronic locking mechanism on the cell for a moment, then raised his P-90 and unloaded two shots into it before it shorted, deactivating the electronic forcefield that surrounded the cell and causing the door to hiss as it slid open.

Vic wiped the back of one hand over his mouth, his eyes set on Elberg’s face--his eyes were hard, small, dark and close-set in the middle of that beefy face, sending a sudden chill of caution up Elberg’s spine.

But he knew Vic.

They’d hit it off from the day they’d met, taking turns at some waitress in a parking lot off-base on Earth that very night. She hadn’t liked it much; she’d even tried to fight until Vic had busted her lip, then she’d been cooperative enough. That night had cemented a friendship a year’s separation couldn’t break.

“Grab whatever you want and let’s go,” Elberg said, looking around the cell. Vic had had a pretty fucking comfortable life here, one Elberg would rather have had than the past year in Sturdevant’s camp. Three squares a day, comfortable quarters, no fucking religious lunatics running around burning or stoning people--yeah, Elberg would have traded any time. “We’ve got access to a cloaked jumper, but we’ve got to go now--”

He quickly brought Vic up to speed on their plans--McGahn and Aames were attaching a remote access to the equipment controlling the moon’s time dilation field. Elberg, Vic, McGahn, and Aames would then be using a remote to control that equipment from the second jumper, gaining access to the moon, disabling the remote Sturdevant had in the other jumper in the process. Once there, they would dial the passage of time up as high as it would go, allowing the four of them to live their lives out among the humans on the moon in what would be less than the blink of an eye to the Alterans or Sturdevant either one, and before either could stop them. Elberg and the others would be heavily armed and ready to meet all resistance from the moon people--they would be gods in their own realm there, beyond the control of anyone.

And it would all start today.

Elberg looked back to make sure Vic was following him as they left the room that housed the detention cell. His buddy was looking down at the dead marine on the floor, pushing at him with the toe of one boot as if to make certain he was dead, as if the bloody hole between the staring eyes didn’t tell the story. After a moment, Vic knelt and unhooked the P-90 the marine hadn’t fired from his vest, then drew the knife from the scabbard attached to the guy’s belt. Elberg turned to look back down the hallway to the closed and useless transporter doors, the opening of the stairwell he had come down just shy of them. Worley’s silence was beginning to unnerve him--but, hell, the man had been locked up all this time; he wasn’t accustomed to chatter, and had never been much of a talker anyway.

“Sturdevant’s crazy as a fucking bedbug now,” Elberg said, just to fill the silence. “Me, McGahn, Aames, and Petrie went with him to run his army--you ought to see Petrie now, he’s--”

At first Elberg didn’t even feel the knife enter his chest when he turned back to look at Vic, just this shock that turned his body cold. Nausea welled up into his throat and his face went clammy--but it wasn’t until he put his hands to his chest and drew them away to see the blood there that he knew what had happened--then the pain hit him just before Vic shoved the knife in again and drove it upward with a twist.

Elberg stumbled back as Vic released him, staring at his friend, the taste of blood rising to his mouth as he tried to draw a breath. His knees gave way.

Vic stared at him a moment, then knelt, his expression never changing, not even as he reached up to grab Elberg’s hair in a fist, tightening the muscles in his forearm, drawing Elberg’s head up, leaning forward until his face was only inches away.

“All this while,” Vic said quietly, in a voice that sounded as if it was no longer used to talk. “I rotted here and you had an army.”

Elberg opened his mouth, trying to say it wasn’t like that. That it wasn’t--

Vic’s right hand was covered with blood now, as was the knife he brought up to press to  
Elberg’s throat, the blade slicing into the skin, cutting deep, being slowly drawn across, ending Elberg’s life at last.

~~~

Sturdevant had believed twenty-eight men could take the heart of the city. He had believed God was on their side, that they were on a mission from the Almighty--while now, only hours after the invasion had begun, all but three of those twenty-eight men had either been killed or taken prisoner.

Elizabeth sat in the control room staring at the video feed of the lighted park area before the stargate, at the crashed jumper there, and the fourteen bodies of Sturdevant and his men, all were burned beyond recognition--she had known each of those men. They had been her people…

… _had been_ …

…before misguided religious fervor, and--in far too many cases--homophobia and bigotry had driven them from the heart of the city.

They had returned these months later, along with the fourteen men in the second jumper, intending to kill every man, woman, and child who lived here in the heart of Altera, intending as well to subjugate the humans on the moon under Sturdevant’s religious rule--Rodney had radioed in a breathless warning as they had rushed the injured John to the infirmary, and a fuller accounting later once he had been certain his husband would survive. He and John had somehow been able to read Sturdevant’s plans from the minds of Sturdevant and his men, or perhaps from the very fabric of the universe itself. Sturdevant had intended to ‘leave nothing alive that breathes’ in the heart of the city, then to move on to the moon, converting or killing the innocent human beings there in a manner so like the Ori of the future.

The Ori Sturdevant’s followers or their descendants would become one day.

If Elizabeth had ever doubted it, she could no longer doubt it after this.

The survivors of Sturdevant’s group could never be integrated back into their population here. Their minds were too far gone. They fully accepted Sturdevant and his teachings as their one path to salvation, and now they accepted him as their martyr as well, Elizabeth thought as she stared at his burned corpse on the screen. She had heard the belief voiced already from the men who had been taken prisoner, the belief that Sturdevant had been martyred for his faith, along with a conviction that he would rise again from the dead to vanquish the Alterans and lead his people again either here or in the afterlife. They were quite insane.

But it was more than that.

She had seen it when she had looked at the men who had survived to be taken prisoner, men who were being held even now in a room here in the library until they could be moved to detention cells. “They’ve gone dark side,” Cam Mitchell had said, and, though Elizabeth had immediately wanted to balk at the popular culture reference from their own time on Earth, she had known he had been right--they had gone dark. She had no way of knowing if there truly were universal forces for right and wrong in the universe, good and evil, light and dark--a force for creation and one for destruction--but, if there were, Sturdevant’s followers were firmly rooted on the wrong path. The absolute assurance of that went far beyond knowledge or instinct to the very fiber of what Elizabeth was, or whatever it was she was on the path to becoming--those men were ‘wrong,’ they felt ‘wrong,’ they felt ‘dark.’ And if they were dark…

Elizabeth stared at what was left of Sturdevant on the monitor now, hearing the comfortably familiar sound of Stephen’s voice nearby where he talked over his headset to the teams searching the heart of the city for the remainder of Sturdevant’s men. Twice today Sturdevant had tried to burn Rodney and John alive. Both times they had turned the fire back on him instead using advanced-human abilities they had had no idea they possessed until they were needed, abilities that had been awakened only by their need to protect each other. By their love.

Elizabeth’s eyes moved to the black wall at the very edge of the image on the monitor, not needing to see the text carved there in language after language to know the words. They had been with her since their first day on this planet… _“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love…”_

She understood the message now--love was their strength. Love for spouses, children, friends. Rodney had told her as much in his second report over the radio--even with all Sturdevant’s power, he could not overcome what Rodney and John were together. He could not combat their love. Sturdevant was alone. Utterly alone. Even amid his followers, he was alone. It was the Alteran’s advantage over…

But the thought died incomplete as she stared at the monitor, thinking for a moment she had seen…but it was impossible. She leaned forward and hurriedly counted the burned bodies she could see, her finger skating over the image on the screen. It couldn’t have been. She had to be mistaken--

Then she was shouting Stephen’s name, her eyes glued to the monitor, horror rising to her throat as she realized she had not been wrong. There were only thirteen bodies there.

Sturdevant’s corpse had vanished.

~~~

“I’ve already killed that son-of-a-bitch once today, I’m not going to be outdone now that he’s back as the goddamn zombie false prophet from hell,” Cam muttered to himself an hour later as he stared through his jumper windshield at the satellite that controlled the time dilation field around the moon--the goddamn satellite they couldn’t shut off or even slow down now.

It was being controlled by Sturdevant from the moon, one of his men having infiltrated the scientific research complex to attach a remote access to the equipment that controlled it, along with disabling the city’s lifesign detectors before he had been killed. That had been before Sturdevant’s burned body had disappeared from the park area near the stargate, before he had reappeared in the same spot alive, healed, and naked as a fucking jaybird no more than twenty minutes later, before he had taken the goddamn jumper they had left sitting there like a bunch of goddamn jackasses in the park area near the stargate, the goddamn jumper Sturdevant had downed and stolen in the first place, killing two of Cam’s pilots in the process.

“Radek!” he shouted into his open headset mike, looking over at Carolyn where she sat beside him in the copilot’s seat--where she had insisted she be, saying she had a feeling they should remain together until all of this was over. And goddamnit if Weir hadn’t backed her up, going on about the quotes carved on walls throughout the city, and love making the couples in their population stronger than Sturdevant. That had been just before she had sent Radek and Daniel to try to regain control of the equipment that controlled the moon’s time dilation field, and before she had sent Sam and Teal’c at a run to verify Adria’s whereabouts. It was a damned good bet that Adria--the Ori’s fucking Orici, silently biding her time there in their midst all this time looking like a human child--had had something to do with Sturdevant’s miraculous resurrection if nothing else. Living with her was like having a damned time bomb in their midst they could do nothing about. “Radek!” he shouted into his mic again.

“I’m trying!” Radek shouted back from the research complex, followed by a string of profanity in Czech. Cam knew this wasn’t Radek’s fault. Radek and Daniel were doing their best to shut off the device, or at least disable the remote access--but each second that passed meant days or weeks for the human beings on the moon, days or weeks that had already passed into years for innocent beings who had fallen into the clutches of a madman. Sturdevant had already proven he was capable of trying to kill every man, woman, and child in the heart of the city. He had had his own people stoned to death, burned, starved, and tortured. He had powers the people on the moon could never combat or even understand--the members of the governing council had made the decision to create the human beings on the moon. Those beings were their responsibility. And now--

“Radek!” he shouted again, his frustration growing, as he knew it was growing as well in the pilots of the other jumpers waiting for access to the moon. They could not fly into the time dilation field without ripping their ships apart--they needed that device shut off. They needed it shut off now. What they were going to do to take Sturdevant on again Cam did not know--but they had taken him out before, at least temporarily, thanks to Sheppard and Rodney. They would figure something out--they just had to have access to the moon before they could do anything. “Can you shut it down or--” he began.

“Nothing I try is working!” Radek yelled back, interrupting, his accent thickening. “It just increases the speed that time is passing for moon each time I try!”

“What if I blow the satellite out of the sky?” Cam asked, watching the HUD come up to display the status of his jumper’s drone supply the minute he thought about using weapons. Thank God he had chosen to pilot one of the few jumpers on the planet that had any weapons capability.

“No, no, no,” Radek said over the radio. “Dropping the moon back into normal time instantaneously--it could be devastating, massive storms, earthquakes, landslides--”

“Do you have any other options?” he asked, and waited. He could almost picture Radek in the lab at the research complex, staring up at Daniel, shaking his head, his hands out in that way Radek had when he had no answer to something. “Time’s passing, boys,” he reminded them.

“Okay, do it,” Radek said, followed by something in Czech that Cam would almost have bet was a prayer.

“Doing it,” Cam said, bringing the jumper around and preparing to launch a drone.

He gave a silent prayer of his own, and then took the shot.

On the moon, the sky ripped apart.

~~~

Radek sighed and shook his head, meeting Daniel’s eyes. “There really was no choice,” he said, as much to himself as Daniel as he stared up at his lover.

“I know,” Daniel said, then drew Radek into his arms and held him, one hand stroking down Radek’s back--God, Radek had not realized how much he had missed this, losing himself for a moment in the warmth of Daniel’s body. He had honestly forgotten what it felt like to have someone to hold onto, someone to be such a part of. He felt Daniel press a kiss near his ear-- _Yes, and I love you, too,_ Radek thought.

He leaned back a moment later just enough to look up at Daniel. “We need to get to the control room to--”

“Well, ain’t this something,” came a voice from the open doorway. Radek turned in that direction, horror filling him when he saw someone being shoved into the room, blood gushing from an open wound in the man’s neck--the marine who had accompanied them here. The horror escalated instantly as Vic Worley stepped over the dying man. Worley was covered in blood, a bloody knife held in one hand, a Wraith stunner in the other, a gun shoved into his belt--Daniel wrenched out of Radek’s arms and went for own his gun, but it was too late. A single stunner blast caught them both, stealing consciousness away.

Radek slowly became aware again, pins and needles filling his body. His cheek was against a hard surface and his glasses were gone--and there was something wrong. He couldn’t move. His arms were stretched out, pulled tight, something cutting into his wrists, and he was bent over--

His eyes snapped open with horror as memory flooded back. He tried to jerk himself free, screaming Daniel’s name, blurrily seeing Daniel coming around as well where he was tied to a stone pillar in the center of the room facing him. Worley was crossing toward Radek, Radek suddenly realizing that he was tied face-first over a table, bent at the waist, his wrists secured to the opposite table legs.

Worley shoved Radek’s glasses crookedly on his face. Daniel must have realized what was happening in that same instant because he screamed with rage, trying to pull himself free of the bindings holding him to the pillar, as well as those Radek could see now securing his legs.

Worley laughed and crossed to Daniel with the knife in hand. He leaned down until his blood-streaked face was only inches from Daniel’s, reaching out to slowly run the tip of the knife down Daniel’s cheek, leaving a trail of blood in its wake as Daniel continued to struggle. Radek yanked hard at the cords holding his wrists, trying to twist free, pulling as hard as he could, not caring how bad it hurt, certain that he was about to see Daniel killed. He bit his lip suddenly to keep from shrieking as he dislocated the shoulder Worley had injured in the previous attack.

Worley drew the knife away from Daniel’s face.

“You know what I’m gonna do, don’t you, Jackson?” Worley asked Daniel as Daniel tried kicking out with both tied legs, tendons cording out in his neck as he fought to try to free himself. “I’m gonna fuck your little faggot boyfriend until he begs to die. And you’re going to watch every minute of it--”

Then he straightened and drew the gun from his belt.

“--while he watches you die.”

~~~

 _Carson!_

The scream of fear and rage, of horror, tore through Carson’s mind, driving him to his knees in the infirmary, spilling the tray of instruments he had just sterilized.

“Carson?” Evan was suddenly there, kneeling beside him, blessedly close. Carson drew in a shaky breath, feeling for a moment as if he might vomit. His fingers closed on Evan’s sleeve. Rodney and John looked up from where they had been arguing over Rodney’s insistence that John stay in his infirmary bed and off the cast that now covered his left leg all the way from his toes to his groin.

“Daniel’s been shot. Radek thinks he’s dying,” Carson said, looking up at his husband.

“But--” Evan began, then stopped, his eyes on Carson’s face. Carson could see that Evan believed him, even if Carson could not explain it himself.

“I don’t know how, I just--” He shook his head.

Evan helped him to his feet, keeping one arm around him for support. Carson drew in another shaky breath, Evan keeping an eye on him as he tried and failed to reach Radek and Daniel over his headset radio. Rodney had gotten to his feet and John seemed to be straining to hear what was going on.

“I’ve got to go to him,” Carson said. “I’ve got to--”

But the baby…

They had all known the invasion today was a direct threat to the baby’s safety. Simpson had defected to Sturdevant’s camp immediately after he learned of Katie’s existence, and they could all imagine too easily what Sturdevant would decree about a baby who had been conceived from the DNA of two men--but the last reports from the control room said that all but one of Sturdevant’s men had now been captured or killed. That one survivor had to be the person who had shot Daniel, and Daniel and Radek were still in the research complex trying to shut off the moon’s time dilation field. The baby had to be safe…she had to be…and Daniel…

The horror of that mental scream was too fresh in Carson’s mind. He could feel the minutes ticking past--they had to hurry. He knew that. He could feel it. They had to hurry.

Evan was on the radio with the control room, trying to find out if anyone knew what was going on. Carson looked over at John and Rodney. John was sitting up on the side of his bed, trying to push himself to his feet with his one good hand, demanding Rodney find a set of crutches for him, bloody determined to go help Daniel and Radek even as Rodney had to grab hold of him to keep him from falling and breaking something else. The man had a concussion and three cracked ribs already to go along with the broken bones. He had to be in a hell of a lot of pain from having refused all pain meds throughout the day. He wasn’t going anywhere outside these infirmary walls--but if there was anyone Carson trusted to keep his and Evan’s child safe, it was these two men.

“I need you to--will you watch over the baby?” Carson asked them as he reached for his medical bag. He looked toward the doorway that would lead to his lab, and to the artificial womb holding his and Evan’s daughter.

John had managed to pull himself upright into a standing position holding onto Rodney. He stopped his determined struggle to go. He had just needed to be of use with everything going on, Carson knew.

“You know we will,” John said, the pain showing clearly on his face as he clung to his husband.

“Yeah--yeah--go,” Rodney said, straining under the added weight as John leaned heavily on him.

Evan had been watching the proceedings, having concluded his brief conversation with the control room. He met Carson’s eyes with a worried look of his own over the baby, but nodded what Carson knew was a reluctant agreement to what they both were certain had to be done. “Come on,” he said at last. He had taken up his P-90 and was hooking his vest now. “The last report still had Radek and Daniel with the time dilation equipment in the research complex. Penn’s turning on the transporters for us temporarily. Caldwell will have a couple of SFs meet us there.”

Carson nodded.

He felt suddenly as if the minutes were racing past.

~~~

Vic had been waiting for this. All the months locked up in the detention cell. All the times he had played this over in his mind.

It was even sweeter seeing it now…

Jackson bleeding out from the wound in his gut. Zelenka, screaming, pulling at the ropes securing his wrists as he watched his boyfriend die.

Vic started to unfasten his belt as he stood in the open space between them, laying his gun on the table alongside Zelenka, wanting Zelenka to see, to know. “I’m going to enjoy this, you little fag,” he said quietly, meeting Zelenka’s eyes as Zelenka struggled to try to free himself. A terrified sound was coming from Zelenka’s throat, terror that he was going to watch his boyfriend die--Vic would turn that sound into a shriek before he was through with him. Vic rounded the edge of the table to stand behind him, Vic dropping his trousers at last, no boxers to get in the way as he grasped his erection in one hand. The little faggot was going to be screaming for real before Vic was--

The crash of the equipment behind him startled him, causing him to turn just as one of the stained glass windows there in the lab shattered inwards. Slivers of glass flew toward him, embedding in his face, in the backs of his hands, his thighs, his cock--Vic stumbled back, falling over the trousers puddled around his ankles, landing on his ass as another piece of equipment hit the floor and exploded, sending shrapnel into his side. A cabinet toppled over and slid toward him. A computer flew toward his head. He rolled over to his knees and tried to push himself to his feet, his legs tangled in the trousers now.

He grabbed the leg of the table where Zelenka was tied, using it as leverage to drag himself upward, seeing and half-registering that nothing that was happening had touched Zelenka, that--

Then another window exploded inwards, sending a spike of glass into his right eye, another into his crotch, almost severing his privates--Vic screamed and stumbled back, cracking his head on a lab table as he went down, his hands grabbing for his groin. He looked around wildly with his one remaining eye as he rolled onto his side, certain Hopkins had to be in the room with his fucking magic tricks, or maybe Sturdevant, because he had overheard his guards saying that Sturdevant--

But he saw Daniel Jackson instead, Daniel still tied to the pillar across the room. Blood marked Daniel’s cheek from the cut Vic had left there, soaking through the front of Daniel’s shirt and trousers from the bullet wound Vic had put into his gut--he was bleeding out, his eyes only barely open, but they were set on Vic, hatred filling them. That gaze moved for an instant to touch on the third window into the room, causing it to explode inward instantly, sending more glass spikes flying at Vic. Vic shrieked and tried to roll away, curling into himself, shocked as hell that Jackson was somehow doing this. He tried to launch himself up onto his knees to reach for his gun where he had left it on the table alongside Zelenka. His hand closed on it even as a stool flew into him and sent him crashing to his side. He rolled again, the gun in hand, levering himself up to take a shot, knowing he had to kill the son of a bitch before--

“Bloody hell!” a voice yelled from the doorway, breaking his concentration. Carson Beckett…

Vic shifted instinctively, bringing Beckett into his sights, his finger tightening on the trigger…

He never heard the first shot as Evan Lorne emptied a clip into him.

~~~

Rodney was driving John crazy. That pleasant connection between them still sat in the back of John’s mind, making John wonder if he would feel it from now on. At first it was a welcome distraction from the pain, but it had soon been overlaid with layer upon layer of Rodney turning over every worst-case scenario he could think of in his mind--worry that John was hurt worse than Carson had been able to detect, worry that Daniel could be dying somewhere, worry something might happen to Radek as well, or to Carson and Evan, worry over what could be happening on the moon, worry over who else among their friends they might have lost today, worry that corpses in addition to Sturdevant could come back to life, worry that something else completely unexpected and even more horrible might happen next. Even John had never realized how many things Rodney could obsess over at a single time.

They’d lost a number of good people from their small population today, people John and Rodney cared about, people whose lives had been cut short by Sturdevant and his crazies. There had been amazingly few injuries among their survivors in the heart of the city, with John probably having suffered the worst. At least he had been the only person either Carson or Carolyn had felt any need to keep confined to the infirmary.

John was hurting like hell, but he couldn’t just sit still. Evan had produced a wheelchair from a storage closet earlier, so John had Rodney push him to Carson’s lab so they could keep watch over the baby there. Rodney treated him to a verbal litany on the way of everything that could even then be going wrong both in the city and on the moon, but he fell silent as they entered the lab. He left John’s chair in the middle of the room and went to check on the equipment monitoring the artificial womb.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said after a moment. “They’ll be back soon, your--dads--I mean,” he said, very awkwardly, cluing John in that he was actually talking to the baby.

John watched him, surprised as hell as Rodney walked closer to the free-standing pillar that housed the womb. Rodney fidgeted a moment, as if he was trying to think of something else to say. John could feel his mind turning over, Rodney feeling a genuine need to try to reassure the unborn baby simply because he knew she could hear their voices here in this room, and John smiled, falling a little more in love with his better half simply because Rodney was Rodney. “Daniel will be okay, and Radek will, too. Carson--your dad--one of your dads--” Rodney corrected himself, even more awkwardly, making that little hand motion that John so loved, “Carson’s a good doctor, even if sometimes I--”

But there was something wrong. John’s chair was sliding sideways, gaining momentum, slamming into the wall, and Rodney was yelling his name--but John couldn’t move. Something had hold of him, something he couldn’t see, something he couldn’t fight--and he was being lifted, turned, shoved back into the wall, held there, agony spiking through the cracked ribs and his broken hand and leg, and he saw --

Petrie entering the room, one arm held out toward him, keeping him pinned in place, the pressure ending John’s ability to draw another breath, his cracked ribs screaming in agony, Petrie’s other hand reaching out toward Rodney where Rodney stood in front of the artificial womb, lightning and fire beginning to build in that outstretched palm.

“To all there is an appointed time,” Petrie said, his own face pale beneath the scars that marked it. He swayed on his feet.

“What?” Rodney asked, his voice rising with what John knew was fear. Rodney took a step back, closer to the womb, his eyes widening even as John’s vision began to dim, unconsciousness beginning to steal over him for lack of oxygen. They knew why Petrie was here. They both knew. This moment had been coming from the instant Simpson had learned of Carson and Evan’s child.

“Move or die with the abomination,” Petrie said.

“No,” Rodney said, taking another step backward, deliberately keeping himself in Petrie’s path to the artificial womb. Petrie didn’t even speak; he simply nodded--then the lightning tore from his hand, ripping through Rodney’s side and into the artificial womb behind him. Alarms began to scream from the equipment that monitored the baby. John was suddenly released, falling, landing in a tangle against the wheelchair. He dragged in deep draughts of air, trying to clear his head, grabbing the seat of the chair with his one good hand, getting his one good leg under him, trying to push himself up--Rodney was still between Petrie and the artificial womb, his side a ruined mess. Petrie grabbed him by the throat, Rodney choking, his face turning red as Petrie lifted him off his feet, Rodney still fighting even as he was thrown sideways into the equipment that monitored the artificial womb, instantly silencing the alarms. The wooden table beneath it overturned and splintered under the impact, Rodney was still moving although John could spare him only a look as he finally got himself upright, launching himself forward, intending to drive his shoulder into Petrie, to buy them another minute, but Petrie swatted him away with a look, sending him into the destroyed table as well.

Splinters of wood drove into the palm of John’s good hand, his fingers closing over one of the broken table legs. Petrie had turned back to the artificial womb, lightning and fire growing in both his hands now. He was saying something--praying, quoting some scripture, only God knew what--as he prepared to kill an innocent child under the orders of a madman.

John met Rodney’s terrified eyes, pushing the table leg to him, knowing Rodney was the only chance the baby had. Understanding passed between them--then Rodney was moving, pushing himself to his feet, starting to scream, the scream drawing Petrie’s attention, the man turning toward him, turning directly into the sharp point of the broken table leg as Rodney drove the full power of his weight into the man, driving them both into the base of the pillar housing the artificial womb. The pillar cracked--but Rodney didn’t stop, driving the table leg upward and deeper, twisting it, screaming still, screaming until Petrie stopped struggling and the fight was over at last.

John pulled himself to his one knee, the cast on the other leg straight out behind him, his pain forgotten as he tried to reach Rodney and the pillar housing Carson and Evan’s child, a pillar heavily leaking fluid now--but Rodney was already pushing himself to his feet, visibly shaking, his face white, his ruined side bleeding freely as he stumbled and almost fell again.

“No--no--no--” he was saying, his eyes going to the artificial womb, the panic in his voice escalating. “We’ve got to get the baby out of there now--”

~~~

Daniel knew that he was dying. He also knew there would be no Oma Desala to help him ascend this time.

Radek knelt at his side, clinging to his hand, their fingers intertwined as if trying to anchor Daniel here. Evan knelt beside Radek, a hand on Radek’s shoulder as Carson injected Daniel with something to try to help lessen the pain--but nothing could lessen what Daniel was feeling. There had not been enough time. He and Radek had only a single night together, a single time, the first step of what Daniel had thought would be a lifetime together. It was not enough.

Darkness was taking him, a void of black, a threatened end to everything--but it didn’t end. He wasn’t alone. Radek was still somehow in his mind, Radek clinging tight, holding to Daniel’s consciousness, refusing to surrender him. Images hovered at the edge of death and waking dreams for both of them--Atlantis alight against a sea of velvet darkness. An emerald city brought to life from nothing. Books and art. Words. Knowledge.

 _…the greatest of these…_

 _Love never ends…_

Daniel and Radek.

The Others.

Eight behind everything.

Pain flooded back, the feel of the hard floor beneath him. The hurt washed away as Daniel opened his eyes. Carson was leaning over him. Carson’s eyes were closed, his hands over the wound in Daniel’s gut, light now fading between them.

Carson was healing him.

A surprised look moved over Carson’s features an instant later as he opened his eyes to stare down at his own hands. Radek was whispering, “Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God,” in Czech, the fingers of his right hand still locked with Daniel’s--then he was saying nothing at all as Daniel grabbed him with his free hand and pulled Radek to him.

He hadn’t even known he was still wearing his headset until it crackled to life. A baby’s healthy screams filled his hearing, overlaid by John’s voice, “Carson, we need you. The baby’s fine but Rodney’s in trouble. Please hurry--”

~~~

Rodney came around slowly, wondering where he was. He was comfortable, laying on a soft surface that most definitely wasn’t his and John’s bed, although John was near, John leaning close to brush a kiss to his lips, whispering, “Wake up, sleepyhead.” What was strange was that Rodney could swear he could also hear John’s thoughts as well, _‘Come on, let me see those blue eyes.’_ along with a sense of warm assurance that there was absolutely nothing Rodney needed to be worried about at the moment.

Rodney smiled, or tried to, still not completely with it. The last thing he remembered, he and John had been in Carson’s lab. They had been looking after--

Then his eyes snapped open, his mind locking into the terrifying minutes that he had struggled to free the baby from the destroyed artificial womb, his shoes sliding in the fluid leaking onto the floor, the agony in his burned and bleeding side, the fight to stay conscious until he could get the baby safely--

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay,” John said, his hands closing over Rodney’s shoulders to press him back down to the soft surface.

“The baby, is she--” Rodney asked, looking around wildly, his eyes skating past John, touching on Radek and Daniel where they stood at the foot of the infirmary bed where he realized suddenly he was laying, then fixed on Carson and Evan and the pink-wrapped bundle in Carson’s arms.

Carson smiled, turning his eyes from Rodney back to the baby he held. Evan stood with a hand on Carson’s back, his eyes on the baby, as well. “Aye, she’s perfect,” Carson said softly, a look on his face Rodney had never seen there before. “A few weeks early, but she’s perfect.”

“She’s amazing, actually,” Evan said quietly, reaching with his free hand to edge the pink blanket back from his daughter’s face, moving even closer to Carson to slide the other arm more fully around his husband.

“Be grateful you slept through all the counting of fingers and toes,” Radek remarked with a smile, drawing his attention. “You would think no child had ever been born with ten of each before.”

“What?” Rodney asked, confused.

“Never mind,” Daniel said, and he put an arm around Radek. Rodney stared at him, wondering for a moment if he was still dreaming--Daniel was dressed in a wildly colored rock band t-shirt that Rodney was pretty certain he had once seen Evan wear, along with a pair of what had to be borrowed jeans, for they appeared rather tight for Daniel. Radek had slid an arm around Daniel as well, his hand sliding up the back of that untucked t-shirt. Rodney stared at them, cluing in suddenly that they had finally started sleeping together--well it was about time. But what the hell had happened to Daniel’s clothes?

He looked around to see Evan was approaching the bed, the baby now in his arms. Evan moved the blanket back enough for Rodney to see the little face. “Katie Margaret,” Evan said softly, his eyes on the sleeping baby, “may I introduce Dr. Rodney Sheppard-McKay, the man who saved your life today.”

“And her godfather,” Carson added.

“What?” Rodney said, startled, looking up at Carson where he stood beside Evan now.

“One of them,” Carson said. “That’s what we intended all along, you know--you and John, if you’re willing. You may drive me crazy at times, Rodney, but you and John are the closest we have to family here.”

“Carson--” Rodney said. For once in his life he could actually not think of a word to say. He stared up at his friend as Carson slipped an arm around Evan’s waist and reached down to gently touch a finger to the back of their daughter’s hand as she flexed her fingers in her sleep.

John was laughing quietly where he stood at the other side of the bed. Rodney could honestly sense John’s amusement, as well--it was very strange. They’d shared a connection during what had happened with Sturdevant, and a few times afterward he had thought it was there still, although he’d been so concerned at the time about everything else that could go wrong that he had not really thought about it.

“Better write this down, Carson,” John said. “Rodney speechless--we may never see this again.”

Rodney gave him a sour look.

Then he realized--John was standing there unsupported. The cast was gone from his right arm and he obviously wasn’t in pain. Rodney’s eyes flew to Daniel in his borrowed clothes across the room as he remembered why he and John had been in the infirmary alone--Daniel who appeared to be unhurt, even though Carson had received some kind of psychic message that he had been shot and that Radek had thought he was dying--and then Rodney remembered, his hand going to his damaged side.

“Wait, wait--I’m--” he said, sitting up on the infirmary bed. But there was no injury there. His shirt and uniform pants were scorched and soaked with blood, but the skin beneath-- “But--”

“Carson healed you,” John said.

Rodney stared over at him, not comprehending. _Healed?_

“He healed me, too,” John said, raising his right arm to flex the all-too-recently broken hand in demonstration, and then pointed down to his cast-less leg, “and Daniel,” he looked in Daniel’s direction, “along with a shoulder Radek dislocated--”

“Healed?” Rodney finally managed to get the word out. He brought his eyes back to Carson--surely John didn’t mean--

“Who better to have the ability to heal?” Evan asked quietly, his eyes moving to Carson with a look of open pride on his face--not to mention what looked like absolute adoration. God, sometimes they were so sappy they made Rodney’s teeth hurt. Not that he and John didn’t look at each other exactly the same way, but at least they didn’t do it where anyone else could see them. Evan smiled at him, “You went directly from unconscious to sound asleep while Carson was healing you,” he said. “We carried you in here. John said to let you rest.”

“You deserved it,” John said when Rodney looked over at him. His right hand was suddenly warm on Rodney’s thigh, stroking lightly. An affectionate smile touched John’s lips, his eyes locked with Rodney’s--and Rodney knew exactly what he was thinking the minute Rodney let his mind fall still enough to hear. _‘I’m proud of you, Rodney...’_

And he could see himself in John’s mind, Rodney standing his ground between Petrie and the artificial womb, refusing to be moved, throwing himself at Petrie with nothing but the broken table leg for a weapon, John trusting him to do whatever he had to do in order to keep Carson and Evan’s baby safe.

 _‘I love you, hero,’_ John thought now, his smile growing.

Rodney tore his eyes away from John and cleared his throat, but brought his eyes back immediately to see John’s smile widen further. He could see that John knew Rodney could hear him now that Rodney knew to let his mind be still. _‘I love you, too,’_ Rodney thought, then was immediately rewarded by John pulling him up into a kiss until Rodney was standing by the infirmary bed with John tight against him, John’s hands at either side of Rodney’s face, John deepening the kiss, his tongue sliding over Rodney’s, neither one of them caring who was watching them.

He heard Radek mutter something appreciatively in Czech, and Daniel respond, just before Rodney would have bet they were involved in a kiss of their own as Daniel made a contented little sound there where they stood at the foot of the bed. Rodney held to John, pressing closer, suddenly hard as hell and feeling John the same against him. They were in Carson’s infirmary and here Rodney felt as if he was trying to climb into John’s skin with him--and they had an audience. It was just--he wanted to be closer to John, felt that he could never be close enough, not even if someone could honestly melt them together into a single being as it said in that quote they had stood before the day they married.

There were things he knew he should be worried about. Sturdevant was back from the dead. The man had been on the moon now for far too long because of the time dilation field, doing only God knew what to the innocent human beings there. Many of John and Rodney’s closest friends had gone to try to stop him, others from the tight-knit group of eight couples who had worked together since their first days on this planet, the people who were as close as family to Rodney and John here. Sturdevant’s powers might very well have increased after his return from the dead--and they all knew he had not managed that return on his own. Adria had had a hand in it. She had served the same function for Sturdevant that Oma DeSala had for Daniel in the Milky Way galaxy, snatching him from death, returning him to life, although where Daniel had returned a human being the two times it had happened to him, Sturdevant had returned as something far different.

And he was evil.

Rodney ended the kiss at last, reluctantly, catching a disappointed look from John--but he had to ask. “How is it going against Sturdevant on the moon?” He met John’s eyes.

John sighed, moving his arms down to wrap them around Rodney and pull him even tighter against him, if that were even possible. “Sturdevant’s been in power for over twenty years there because of the time dilation field--”

“Oh, God--” Rodney began, but John moved one arm from around him to touch a finger to his lips to get Rodney to be silent until he could finish. He followed the finger with a quick kiss, then put the arm back around him again to hold him close.

“The moon humans have either converted to his brand of crazy or learned to play along to keep from being burned alive. Cam said there’s clear evidence of an organized resistance, but he hasn’t been able to make contact with any of them. What they have on the moon instead is a stalemate now--Sturdevant has an army of followers who would happily kill or die in his name, but he refuses to confront our people.”

“Because of what happened when he couldn’t kill us?” Rodney asked. It actually made sense. He could clearly remember Sturdevant’s reaction to the touch of their joined minds.

John nodded. “Cam wants the two of us as soon as we can get there. He thinks seeing us might force Sturdevant’s hand.”

“What--he wants us to confront him again?” Rodney asked, immediate fear knotting his stomach muscles. They had managed it before, but--

“He won’t confront you,” Daniel said, drawing their attention. Rodney and John looked over at him. There had been a tone of absolute assurance in Daniel’s voice.

“Why? Because we managed to turn the fire back on him before? I’m sure he has more tricks in his bag than just--”

“I think he knows what you are, Rodney, what you’re on the path to becoming. He knows because Adria has to know. He won’t confront you.”

“What?” Rodney asked, confused.

“‘Base eight behind everything,’” Daniel said, quoting one of the phrases that had been stuck in the heads of everyone on the governing council since they had arrived on this planet.

“What?” Rodney asked again, even more confused by the complete non-sequitur in that moment.

Daniel looked over at Radek, sliding a hand over Radek’s back where he stood beside him. Radek nodded up at him, as if in encouragement--so Radek was in on this, Rodney thought with a frown, then added silently to himself, _So help me, if he starts talking about holographic--_

Daniel cleared his throat. “I was close to death after Worley shot me. For a moment I was floating in this complete darkness, and Radek was there. We both could see--” but he let his words stop.

 _Worley?_ Rodney wondered. _How in the hell had--_

“Haven’t you wondered where the Ancients in our own time got their power?” Daniel asked suddenly, seeming to change the subject completely. “We know the Ori will draw power from their followers, from being worshipped, but what will be the source of the Ancients’ power?” He asked, staring at Rodney with a raised brow, as if waiting for him to make a connection.

“What does that have to do with--” Rodney began.

“Maybe they get it from love,” Daniel said, with one of those ‘see there’ kind of gestures that always got under Rodney’s skin. “Just look at all the quotes that were left for us here. Those quotes were left for a reason, and almost every one of them is about love--but it’s more than that. The ascended we met in the Milky Way and in Pegasus had to be good people, enlightened, good to their very core to reach ascension on their own. Perhaps they had to love everyone, mankind in general--but they’re not the only kind of ascended.”

“Yes, the Ori--” Rodney began.

“No, the Ori are the opposite of what I’m talking about, as dark as these beings are light--Oma used to talk about the Others, Sam said Orlin mentioned them, and, you, John, said Chaya mentioned them as well--” he said, his eyes shifting to John.

Rodney shot John an irritated look. That little flirtation of John’s had happened months before he and Rodney had become lovers, but, still, Rodney really hated that ascended little--

“Yeah,” John said, almost reluctantly. He seemed to be studiously avoiding Rodney’s eyes as he looked at Daniel, even as Rodney very consciously tried to catch exactly what John was thinking. All he got was a reflection back of his own jealousy.

“I had run-ins with the Others myself when I was ascended, according to Oma, but even she had never seen them,” Daniel said, obviously having no idea that he’d accidentally hit on a topic in Chaya that really got to Rodney. “I was never really certain who or what they were. They seem to--be a group of Ancients who are actually over the Ancients we’ve met, a group that seems to work together, pooling their power and abilities to enforce the ‘no interfering in the lower planes of existence’ rule, for one thing.” He stopped and stared at them, his eyes going between Rodney and John a moment, his mouth still open, as if waiting for them to make an intuitive leap to understand whatever it was he was talking about.

“Kind of like an ascended military police?” Evan asked, bringing himself and Carson into the conversation. Carson had the baby in his arms now, his eyes moving from one to the other of them.

Daniel gave a little sideways bob of his head as he considered the question. “Yes, something like that,” he said, nodding at last, looking from Evan and Carson back to Rodney and John. “The point is, the Others seem to be unique. They have more power than any of the Ancients we met, enough for them to even have established a set of rules the other Ancients had to live by. They have more power than the Ori, and may very well be the reason the Ori will finally band together to bleed power from the beliefs of their followers, as well as why they developed a convert or kill philosophy in trying to gain more believers--that’s the only hope they have to even try to combat the Others.”

“And?” John asked.

“Maybe the Others are the first ascended Ancients,” Daniel said, as if that answered anything.

“This is leading somewhere, isn’t it?” Rodney snapped--he would almost rather go up against Sturdevant again this very minute than listen to much more of this. He couldn’t see how this had anything to do with him and John anyway.

“‘Base eight behind everything,’” Daniel quoted again, looking from Rodney and John over to Evan and Carson, and back again as if he thought they would clue in any minute.

Rodney just stared at him. He could almost watch Daniel’s frustration level increase that they just weren’t getting it.

Radek muttered something to Daniel in Czech and Daniel sighed with obvious irritation at Rodney and the others.

“ _‘...the greatest of these...love never ends....effect can precede cause...base eight behind everything….made up of lovers and their loves...’_ ”

Daniel rapidly fired off the damned phrases that had been stuck in all their heads almost from the first day they had arrived here.

“I think we are the Others, Rodney--the eight couples on the governing council. We are the base eight,” Daniel said finally, exasperatedly. “Sturdevant refuses to confront Cam and Carolyn, Sam and Teal’c, Teyla and Ronon, or our other people he sees as under their protection on the moon.”

He stared at Rodney a moment as Rodney tried to digest what Daniel was telling him. He could feel John balk at the very idea. But Rodney had to consider--

“Sturdevant won’t go up against you and John again because he’s already gotten just a little taste of what you will become together. It might not be enough to bother Adria yet, but that one taste was more than enough to scare the living hell out of him.”

  
**To be continued**   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Author Note: The passage Elberg remembers Petrus briefly quoting about himself comes from the SG1 season nine episode, Origin, written by Robert C. Cooper. As presented in the series, it is part of the "Book of Origin." The quote is taken from the[episode transcript](http://stargate-sg1-solutions.com/wiki/9.03_%22Origin_Part_3%22_Transcript#Episode_Guide) found on the Stargate Wiki._

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback always welcome.
> 
> Beta: Many thanks to LdyAnne for the beta. It is very much appreciated. Any errors remaining are mine alone.
> 
> Disclaimers: I don't own anything, including the house I live in or the car I drive. Atlantis and SG1 are the properties of others. I'm just borrowing the guys to play for a while. This story is for entertainment purposes only.


End file.
